I'm a Baby!

2012

2012-01-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Kung talagang magugunaw ang mundo ngayong 2012, gusto kong ma-confirm at maipaalam kaagad ito sa lahat. Inaasahan kong du’n lamang natin maa-approximate ang isang global utopia. Ang pinakamalaking motivation natin kung bakit ginagawa natin ang mga ginagawa natin, kahit ‘yung mga hindi natin gustong gawin, will suddenly lose their grip on how we lead our lives. Hindi mo naman kelangang ma-stuck sa trabahong hindi mo gusto para lang may maipon ka. Hindi mo na kailangang i-shortchange ang mga empleyado mo para lang malaki ang maipatayo mong bahay kesa sa mga kaibigan mo. Hindi mo na ipagdidiinan na mas tama ang relihiyon mo (o ang pananaw mong walang relihiyon o walang Diyos) dahil ang iyong spiritual efforts ay matutuon na lamang sa pinakahuling pakikipag-usap sa anumang sinasamba mo. Kung sigurado na nga ang sabay-sabay nating pagpanaw, maging siguro ang Santo Papa magdududa kung tamang diyos nga ba ang kanyang pinagdarasalan. Pero dahil wala namang sure na sure, eh, ‘di sama-samang dasal na lang ng mga pare-pareho ng dinarasalan nang may kakaibang taimtim, habang may mas malalim na ring pag-unawa at pagrespeto sa pagdarasal ng iba na maaaring mapatunayan in a short while na sa kanila pala ang tamang daan.

Wala nang visa-visa dahil manghihinayang ang mga tao na hindi man lang nabisita ang kanilang lugar kaya’t magtutulungan ang lahat upang makapaglakbay tayo sa huling mga buwan natin dito sa mundo. Paris, New York, London, Brazil, Israel, Tokyo, Beijing, Barcelona ang mga sasadyain ko sa isang travel system na mas bukas at hospitable, bungad ng desperasyon ng mga taong ma-enjoy ang mundong hindi talaga nila na-explore noong may panahon pa.

Karamihan ng mga nakausap ko about my pre-apocalyptic vision are not convinced. Parang hindi nila ma-grasp ang pagka-optimistic ko raw. Ako naman, in turn, ay surprised na surprised that not many people agree with me. Naintindihan ko na lang kanina when I was putting my head around it, para nga namang ang hirap i-imagine ang mundo running on a system apart from what it uses now. Paano nga kung lahat ng bagot na sa trabaho nila ang nag-resign para mag-travel, nag-withdraw ng kani-kanilang pera, hindi ba magkakaroon ng financial crisis? So paano na nga? Instead of finding a solution, inisip ko na lang na kaya hirap tayong isipin eh kasi theoretical lang lahat (and even at that level hindi naman talaga natin siniseryosong theory ang end of the world by 2012). But I still assert na kung i-announce nga ng magugunaw ang mundo by the end of the 2012, magkakaroon ng drastic changes in each one of us that we cannot just fathom. I’d like to believe it will be for the better. The current system nga naman based on toiling, saving, fighting for what you think is right, delaying gratification are all founded on an uncertain future. We have to survive now and make steps that we survive whatever it is that might happen in the future. We’ve accepted and even practice some evils in the name of survival. But that need is gone when we have a definite deadline. Pull out all your money to spend on anything. Or better, money wouldn’t be an object. What use would anyone have for it in the long run?

Why would anyone put up with a stupid boss? Or would the boss still have a reason to be take credit for other’s work? Why would you put up with an abusive relationship, or why wouldn’t you take steps to make things a little better between you and that person who’ve loved you all along even when everything he does drives you crazy? What’s the point of keeping sane prisoners away from their loved ones before rapture? Indeed even if I end up sitting right next to Imelda Marcos on my way to Barcelona, why would I further jeopardize my Catholic-bashing soul from more punishment in the afterlife by punching her in the face? Wouldn’t the thought that it won’t be long before she faces God put a satisfied grin on my face? Oh, her cooky, greedy mind would shudder from the thought! I’d love to see that fear on her face, and on the faces of the countless others in government who screwed us up. Or maybe eternal damnation might be worth it if I just go right ahead and punch her in the face. What’s the worst that could happen? Her bodyguards shoot me? I’m due to the die by the end of the year anyway.

Sa mga Nagka-Quarter Life Crisis, It Gets Better

2012-01-23T05:37:00.001-08:00

It’s really like when an aunt you only see during Christmas family reunions exclaim na “Ang lak-laki mo na!” and you don’t know exactly how to respond because you are always you, you think, so you never really notice that some considerable time has passed and you have indeed grown astoundingly. You never notice time passing until it is joltingly noticeable like 1999 changing to 2000 compared to the coming of this second year of the second decade of the millennium. You never notice until your usually inactive high school batch Facebook group suddenly comes to life through a flood of open-ended posts soliciting memories about the goings-on after lights out during retreats, the brawls on and off campus, the teachers you crushed on and the ones you cursed, and suddenly, the online merriment when a long-lost classmate you never really bothered with during high school is suddenly part of the fb group probably feels like the party to welcome back the prodigal son. You never notice Time until He suddenly slaps you with a photo taken in 1995. Scanned! Tagged! Shared! SHET!

Just like what Michelle tells her best friend and fellow batch outcast, Romy, “I thought high school was blast!” It didn’t matter what you did and who you hang out with, even to the people you thought must have had a difficult high school life would probably say that high school was fun! Hollywood and Viva Films got it all wrong! There really are no outcasts because in every high school guy's head, he is THAT cool guy unlike that UN-COOL guy! We also fussed over our hair, clothes, and "image" like any of the TGIS cast. In life, as in showbiz, when you're young you're the star. The year I turned 20 I was so sad with the fact that all of a sudden, those beautiful, pained characters in top-rating “youth-oriented programs” were no longer me.

By the time you're 25, this negative energy combusts and consumes you! My generation calls this the “Quarter-Life Crisis.” But just like the high school problems that was supposed to kill us, this existential angst only needs to be ridden out, an illusion of a problem brought about any teenager’s incompetence in accurately predicting what life would be like by the time he reaches the ripe-old age of 25.

Recovery comes after accepting that our pathetic excuses on why you’re stuck in your thankless job, why you’re not earning as much, AND why you’re still single actually just describe the typical quarter-lifer. “Marami pala tayong mababa ang suweldo at walang lovelife! Cheers!” That’s why turning 30 was a blast! It’s the time when you’re much closer to that 25-year old image that your teenaged self hoped for. Suddenly we’re all getting married, starting a family, migrating to greener pastures, getting promoted, finally turning in a profit! We realize that the past's red-number riddled transcript of records and wrong career moves did not kill us, and we're stronger for it. Sheeeet! We are living inspirations quotes!

My most optimistic and patriotic self can be still be skeptical about the very bright prospect recently pegged by HSBC in a CNN report (that the Philippines will leapfrog to be the world’s 16th largest community by 2050). Or maybe that's this nation's quarter-life crisis talking. In any case, I won’t allow any crisis to kill my spirit, I’ll keep on working hard, and will keep on loving even when it hurts, dahil kahit hindi ka sigurado kung may mapapala nga ba, mas mabuti na ‘yun kesa sumuko na lang. It worked in our individual lives, 'di ba? So this might be the time when we think about what we can actually do for others. Let me quote another inspiring movie: “You don’t have to believe in your government. You just have to believe in your country” – Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

Catholic Iskul

2012-01-18T08:07:00.000-08:00

Trinay ko talagang maniwala kahit konti pero simula pa lang nadurog na ang puso ko nang sa halip na ibili ako ng hearing aid ay inabot sa’kin ni mommy ang bote ng milagrosong tubig ng Manaog at ang maliit na booklet ng nobena. Bago raw ako matulog ay dasalin ko ang nobena sa harap ng makulay na rebulto ng Kristo Rey sa kuwarto namin ng kapatid kong si Tin-Tin, tapos ay ipahid ko raw sa aking binging kanang tenga ang ilang patak ng milagrosong tubig. Matapos ang ilang linggo, iniyakan ko si Tin-Tin, sumabog ang galit ko hindi sa Diyos, kundi sa nanay kong pumipilit sa’king maniwala sa hindi naman totoo.

Hanggang ngayon, bingi pa rin ako dahil pinayo ng isang doktor na huwag na lang ako mag-hearing aid tutal ay nakapag-adapt na raw ako sa aking munting kapansanan. O puwede mo ring sabihing dahil nagkulang ako sa pananampalataya?

Siyam na milyong deboto ang tinatantiyang nakiisa sa Pista ng Black Nazarene sa Quiapo nu’ng isang linggo. Mahigit 11 million ang populasyon ng Metro Manila. Ano kaya’ng ipinagdasal nila sa prosisyong tumagal nang halos 22 oras? Nitong linggo naman ay nagsimula na ang fiesta season sa pagdaraos ng Sinulog Festival. Halos 500 taon na ang Kristiyanismo sa Pilipinas, ang natatanging baluwarte ng Santo Papa sa Asya, naririnig na kaya ng Diyos ang ating mga panalangin? O baka naman mali lang ang ipinagdarasal natin? Wala nga naman sa mundong ito ang tunay na kaligayahan at kaginhawaan, kaya tiis-tiis lang. God will provide kaya ‘wag mong iinda kung ilan ang magiging anak mo, blessing ‘yan. Nariyan naman ang kawang-gawa ng iba’t ibang mga simbahan para tumulong, lalo sa mga panahon ng sakuna. Blessings ang mga anak kaya walang-saysay ang pagmamahalan ng dalawang taong hindi naman magkakaanak sa natural na pamamaraan. ‘Wag nang ipilit ang mga bagay na hindi natural dahil “nakakadiri” kumpara sa paghingi ng mga obispo ng luxury suv kay Gloria, at sa paglalaan ng misa ng pasasalamat sa pagbabalik-bansa ni ex-Cong. Ronald Singson via private jet matapos makulong nang sampung buwan sa Hong Kong matapos mahulihan ng ilang gramo ng cocaine. At hindi sa cocaine ako nao-offend, sa totoo lang.

Matanda pa sa panahon nina Rizal itong ating pamomroblema sa simbahan - hindi sa Diyos, hindi sa pananampalataya ng mga taong nanalig sa isang kapangyarihang higit pa sa anumang kapangyarihan dito sa mundo, dahil ano nga ba ang Simbahan kundi ang komunidad ng mga nanampalataya? Problema pa rin natin itong simbahang libug na libog sa kapangyarihan. Limang daang taon ay higit pang sa sapat na panahon upang mapabuti ang buhay ng mga taong iyong ginagabayan kung iyon talaga ang iyong pakay. O, baka nga naman masyadong minamaliit ng isang tulad kong kulang (ubos?) na ang pananampalataya sa mga nagawang paggabay nila tutal poverty of the soul ang kanilang concern, at hindi ang literal na poverty na kitang-kita saanman lalo’t sa mga dikit-dikit na mga barung-barong na nakapaligid sa nag-iisang kunkretong istraktura, ang chapel-cum-multi-purpose hall. Ang iba pang konkretong istraktura ng simbahan ay pawang mamahaling ospital na may token charity wards, at ang kanilang exclusive schools, at elitistang mga unibersidad na may mga token night schools at scholarships. All that resources to give the poorest of the poor a chance at a better life, wasted at the rich to become even richer!

At ngayon, maging ang UP nai-invade na ng mga batang hindi na kailangang tustusan ng buwis ang matrikula dahil ‘di hamak nga namang mas mahusay na ang pagtuturo sa mga exclusive schools kesa doon sa mga libreng public schools. Wala pang utang na loob akong matuturing dahil ang de-kalidad na edukasyong nakuha ko sa isa sa mga exclusive school na ito ang nakatulong sa’king makapasok sa UP. At dahil du’n, lagi kong ipagpapasalamat sa Kalangitan ang grasyang napagtanto na wala sa simbahan ang Diyos. Amen.

Re: Naughty or Nice - Powerbarkada

2011-11-25T22:52:00.000-08:00

guys, forwarding you Tito Santa's email just now.

"If you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

From: "Santa Claus"
To: ray_agapie@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Saturday, 26 November 2011, 8:29
Subject: Naughty or Nice - Powerbarkada

ho, rey! pakisabihan na ang lang powerfriends mo na gumawa na'ko ng list. before i check it twice, warningan mo muna sila! ka-birthday ni jesus, rey. kaya mo 'yan.
ho ho ho less than a month na lang! see my list below:

PowerBarkada Naughty or Nice?

7 - Carlo - laging nega on a beauiful lazy saturday morning; parang walang lovelife! no gift! NAUGHTIEST!

6 - Roy - nang-agaw ng jowa; still deserves a gift, though. like a toy snake! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!

5 - Sheila - awww broken family this powerbarkada get-together! paano kaya kung si rey ang absent sa kasal nila ni euven? NAUGHTY!

4 - Cindy - NICE! c'mon, nanganak siya this year. by default, nasa Nice siya kahit ano pang sama niya; bawi na lang next year!

3 - Thea - Apologetic sa pag-e-explain sa jowang tanders! NICE

2 - Val - dadalhin ako sa party! pinagtatanggol pa ang nicests! NICE! NICE!

1 ( It's a liver... it's atay! ) - Rey and Celery - kayo ang relaxed na relaxed at mapagkatiwalaang mga kaibigang lovingly working your assess off to pull of the very first out-of-town Powerbarkada Christmas Party since it started in 1996! bonggang-bongga ang gifts ko sa inyo! money, love, that will last you for a thousand Christmases! NICEST!

Santa Claus
Judge(mental) (Guilt-trip) Gift-Giver
Address: North Pole
Office. (02) 4152272 loc 0001
Mobile. (0918)9172373, (0990)8201022
E-mail. mr.santa@gmail.com

Scientists Discover Beach Bum - PINOYS DAW!

2011-09-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

Scientists Discover Beach Bum Gene
by Larry Jamesson

Washington, DC - You’re slacking off at work and still feel like hitting the beach. If you’re Filipino, you may just be exhibiting behavioral traits inherited from your beach bum ancestors.

The study released by the University of North Washington’s Anthropological Laboratories of America, the recognized leader in cultural anthropology, reports that “The markedly different cultural aspects of Archipelagic Southeast Asian (Filipino) culture today, like the “beach lifestyle,” is a result of a prehistoric cultural clash among early Southeast Asians, as evident in each culture’s ancient history.

“It’s like they all just decided they don’t want to be royal subjects of any king, so they headed to the beach and partied for the rest of their days,” says Dr. Kenneth Battachara, who headed the study. Anthropologists call this “antecultural migration,” when an ethnic group splits due to differences in culture.

According to the study, just when the great Southeast Asian kingdom civilizations were being established in Vietnam, Khmer, Burma, Siam, and Java – heavily influenced by south migration and trade with the Indian and Chinese Empires (after whom Indochina was named) - the Filipino ancestors may not have appreciated the peace and security in living a kingdom because of the rigid social hierarchy, strict laws, patriotic servitude, forced labor, and wars. This group of defectors included artists, musicians, actors, and singers who reject the repetitive and meticulous practice of the arts in the royal courts; as well as jesters and orators, storytellers and satirists, who may have yearned to crack a joke about the king without risk of punishment; and the nature-worshippers who believe in the supernatural rather than in the divinity of a human god. They preferred a simpler lifestyle, lacked political or military ambitions, had difficulty taking orders, but were probably bad self-regulators. If you look at chaotic Philippines now, where showbiz and politics meet, where the press lacks self-control, and where the clout of the Catholic Church is so tragic, it’s funny, it is not hard to give credence to the study.

The ancient group of free-spirited sailors, eventually formed a leadership structure called balangay, named after the boats they used in search of the perfect beach. The balangay government consolidate food-sourcing efforts and maintain peace and order, and seldom exhibit empire-building ambitions. Food self-sufficiency de-necessitated this, as well as a formal trade system. Abundance of natural resources and warm climate meant sophisticated technology need not be invented.

The lack of a strong imperial culture made for a weak sense of history and continuity as a disciplined system of record-keeping is the hallmark of empires. No one formal religion can also dominate without a strong kingdom patronizing it. This, along with the welcoming, laid-back attitude of the Archipelagic Southeast Asians made European colonization easier.

That Age of Exploration and Imperialism then brought to the Philippines the country’s first elites. Like the elites of Latin America, the vast Spanish colony on the other side of the Pacific, the first Philippine elites were Spanish-Europeans who came to the colonies who knew nothing but a feudal culture. They know no other way of managing property except through amassing land, having slaves till them while keeping their loyalty in check. The landed, rich immediately distinguished themselves from the natives, and that attitude exists today still, long after intermarriage and patriotic movements have technically consolidated the elits and natives into a nation. Today, the socio-cultural divide, and mutual distrust persist. The culture lives on. AP

Intro Loren Legarda Award

2011-09-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

Dahil alam kong mae-edit-out lang ang part na'to sa sinulat kong continuity script para sa Grand Alumni Homecoming ng UP College of Mass Communication mamayang gabi, ise-share ko na lang sa inyo.

(INTRO AWARD FOR LOREN LEGARD AWARD)

HOST:
MARAMI PA PO TAYONG PARARANGALAN PERO ANG NAKAKATAAS NG KILAY AY ANG SUSUNOD. DATING BROADCAST JOURNALIST NA MEDYO TRAPO NA ANG DATING. SINO SIYA? KILALANIN NATIN KAY PRESENTOR, _____.

PRESENTOR:
POLITICAL ICON ANG ITATAWAG NATIN SA BABAENG ITO FOR, AND I MERELY QUOTE, “FROM MEDIA TO POLITICS, FROM ALUMNUS TOTHE HALLS OF POWER - A DEDICATED ALLY OF THE COLLEGE, A DONOR FOR ALL SEASONS, AN OUTSTANDING SUPPORTER OF WORTHY CAUSES. THIS MEANS, ANG BAHAGI PO NG KANYANG PORK BARREL BILANG SENADORA AY NAPUNTA RAW SA PAGPAPATAYO NG BAGONG MEDIA CENTER. THE REST WAS SPENT ON HER ELECTORAL PROTESTS SA KANYANG SUNUD-SUNOD NA PAGKATALO SA ELEKSYON. KAYA NAMAN THE “IKAW NA!” AWARD IS HEREBY PRESENTED TO SEN. LOREN LEGARDA!

RECEIVE AWARD. ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. PHOTO OP.

full script here https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0Bxqh25exq-CVZjgzYTA5NGYtMGQ5Yy00N2NkLWIyZTUtMzIyNTMzYjU0ZmZk&hl=en_US

Para sa mga Facebook Friends kong may Baby

2011-08-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

Ang blog na ito ay para sa mga Facebook friends kong may baby:

Ilang taon na ba ang Facebook? ‘Yun ang bilang ng taon na na-bombard ako ng regular and persistent statuses at wall photos tungkol sa mga baby n’yo! Statuses puwedeng i-ignore pero every 5 statuses about the baby dapat i-Like mo na, and the five-status intervals happen, like everyday! Mas mahirap ang wall post. ‘Yun wala kang dapat palampasin i-Like. Dapat kung ilan ang tao na naka-tag du’n sa nag-iisang mukha na’yun, dapat ganu’n din ang dami ng nag-Like. Dapat sumobra pa ang Like kung artistic, studio shot, o candid funny/cute moment photo daw as perceived by the parents ng baby. Mahirap ‘to for me kasi may mga photos na scary, like ultrasound photos (nagsisimula ang kalbaryo ko bago pa magkaroon ng tangible na baby!) Siyempre may mga albums pa, at videos!

So bilang ganti, magkukuwento ako at REQUIRED KAYONG BASAHIN, I-LIKE AT KUMENTAN kundi mapapahamak ang mga baby ninyo!

Alam n’yo kasi, meron akong tatlong cute and smart na pamangkin. Binalak kong gumanti with my impressions of all of them pero pati ako na-bore, so ang ikukuwento ko lang sa inyo ay ‘yung sa eldest and only niece. I love her, so you must, too!

DARYN DARIAN AGAPAY. Buntis ngayon ang wife ng panganay naming Kuya, at nagpustahan ang buong pamilya kung lalake o babae. Isa ako sa majority na nagwi-wish ng babae. Sunud-sunod kasing ipinanganak ‘yung tatlong lalakeng pamangkin na sina Dave-Dave, DJ at Justin. Na ang ate ay si Daryn. Ang ganda at talino ng batang ‘to. Waif-waifan ang drama! Matangkad kasi matangkad ang ina na kamukha ni Michelle Aldna! At artistic pa. Bata pa lang, nagdo-drawing na siya ng sarili niyang comic strips. Mala-Cathy ang style - at ang humor, English! Ngayon heavily inspired ng anime ang drawings niya. My mom made her repaint a couple of clay vases and Daryn drew beautiful faces of young ladies with exaggeratedly big, bright eyes, small noses ang lips, and very long windblown straight hair. In three years she may follow my footsteps to UP. I think she wants to take up Communications like I did. At kapag nangyari ‘to…
Magkakaroon ng isang bonggang-bonggang climax ang mala-deboto kong pagsubaybay sa taunang Miss Universe live telecast sa umaga mula nu’ng 1987 – pamangkin ko ang mananalong Miss Universe! Seriouly, beauty queen o supermodel talaga ang dating niya at mamaniin lang niya ang Q&A! “And the new Miss Universe – Miss Philippines! Darian (pronounced Dar-YAN para Latina ang dating) Agapay!” Pero realistic akong tao, kaya alam kong ang realistic na magiging reaksyon ko kapag nangyari ‘to ay STROKE. Isipin mo, mula 1987 ay taun-taon akong umaasa at nabibigo na Pilipina ang mananalong Miss Universe ‘yun pala pamangkin ko lang pala ang hinihintay ko! Tiyak sa gitla may mapapatid akong artery du’n mismo sa audience area at uuwi akong baldado’t nasa wheelchair… na tulak-tulak ng pamangkin kong Miss Universe!

Imaginations for the Nation

2011-08-20T03:49:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my two kuyas would tease me for my wild imaginings. “Imagine! Imagine! Imagine!” they’d chant as I’d pace the sala, the streets, even the long pile of dirt when Nawasa dug up our subdivision’s streets and failed to fix it for months. My younger sister was a bit more tolerant. Gets na niyang bago kami matulog, mag-i-imagine muna ako sa katiting na space sa gitna ng mga kama namin. It was a ritual. I’d walk back and forth over the same area, mentally enter a virtual world, with only a few murmurings and wild gesticulations hinting on the things I was daydreaming about. There was Queen Kalayana, for example, a wise and beautiful modern monarch loved by her people. I’d imagine her exploits for hours, stop to live in the real world during school, TV, and mealtimes, then go back to imagining her world from where I left off.

Looking back, I realize it might have been a very strange kid but I guess it was this capacity to vividly visualize concepts that helps me in my creative tasks today. I still daydream a lot, trying to be less obvious, though there would be times when I’d mindlessly act out or blurt out something that was supposed to be only happening in my head. Masarap and libre mangarap, ika nga, and I don’t know if this is true with other adults, pero ang pinakasayang-saya akong pinapangarap ay ‘yung mga bagay na alam kong napaka-imposibleng mangyari pero may isang sulok ng puso at utak ko na naniniwala pa ring mangyayari ‘to. Here are my dreams.

1. Becoming the Philippines’ first official Olympic Gold Medalist

The 1998 Seoul Olympics was the first Olympiad I watched on TV. I was in Grade 4. Since then, the Olympics, next to the Miss Universe, became my second favorite inter-national competition. I used to imagine winning gold in men’s gymnastics until triathlon officially became an Olympic event at Beijing 2008.

Daydreaming about becoming Olympic champion comes in handy during pool sessions, solo runs, or long bike rides. I know how I’d look like at the start, coming out of the water, in transition, on the saddle, all the while leading by just a few seconds until eventually emerging victor at the finish line in heart attack fashion! I find that more dramatic than keeping a convincing lead throughout the race, and more believable than a come-from-behind victory in the run leg. My trisuit by Ige Lopez’s T1 is red at the front (“because the Philippine flag displays the red field dominantly when you are at war, fighting for your people,” I’d tell reporters) and black at the back so the opponents trailing would find it difficult to see me at the front. Even the AGAPAY PHI printing is in (glossy) black. The front has a small flag on my left chest. My bike is in all white, with all the decals removed, except for the flag and the word PHILIPPINES on the top tube.

I’d imagine proudly mouth-singing the national anthem as it is played for the first time in the Olympics. My whole family will be at the stands. Maybe I’d even cry.

2. Becoming the third Filipina Miss Universe

My exotic beauty and witty remarks will make me an early favorite of the crowd and the press. I’d even be able to fluently converse in Spanish with the fiercest Latina competitors. My national costume is a stylized Manny Pacquiao boxing outfit – short shorts and glittery belt. I’d wear my hair in a formal bun in the swimsuit competition, and casually let it down in the evening gown part. A Filipino designer, of course, will create my gown, the design of which changes depending on where and when I’m imagining this glorious night. But for sure I’ll create a sensation by becoming the very first Miss Universe to have carried a small handbag in the evening gown competition. “May bag si Miss Philippines!”

The question, too, changes everytime but I would always answer by saying hello to the hometown crowd in their native tongue then proceed to answer confidently, eloquently, and beautifully. I’d be so sure of the crown that throughout the pageant, when “Miss Philippines!” is called to the Top 15 until the crowning moment, I shall show no sign of surprise, just a slight, pleased smile that seems to say, “Of course.”

This fantasy, probably spurned the first time I watched the pageant live in 1987 (won by Chile’s Cecilia Bolocco – and I write this from memory, unlike the bike part “top tube” which I had to google), has recently taken a socio-political aspect (SOCIO-POLITICAL?!) when I realized this is one sure-fire way I could turn our country around as a truly pro-people, pro-justice and social equality democratic leader by…

3. Becoming President of the Republic of the Philippines.

Winning the Miss Universe crown will make me win the popular elections for the presidency without financial support from trapos and dubious business and interest groups. It may seem ridiculous at first but I will prove adept at the task, enforcing true agrarian reform, opening up the economy ensuring fair competition that not only favors the oligarchs, improving the quality of education all over the country, and cleaning up the capital city to become the beauty it once was. In twenty years, my efforts would have been sufficient foundation for true social progress that we might be chosen to host the Olympics.

But before you pin all hopes on me, the most plausible of my fantasies would reveal my selfishness.

4. Winning 760M Pesos in the lotto.

After paying my loans and those of my immediate family, I’d find a nice mountainside forested lot within the city and build a small, modern house in it. A couple of years ago, a large house would be my if-I-win-the-lotto first purchase, but now, a subtle, more environmentally friendly choice is more ideal. Entertaining will be done al fresco, all the rooms in the house – even the spacious bathroom and toilet – will have large windows allowing for fresh air and a view of the forest.

I’d probably not resign from GMA (sign that I love my job?) but I might buy a couple of gas stations for hassle-free income. I’d approach my bank, and a few others like BPI and Citibank, to better decide to whom I should invest my money, and set up trust funds for all my pamangkins.

I’d like to buy one of those big pre-war homes along Quezon Avenue and set-up an Agapay Arts Center. It will house a museum, an intimate theater, a gallery, a rehearsal studio for youth art groups to use. The center will sponsor arts competitions and workshops to develop our aesthetics and sense of national identity. Another more outrageous business plan would involve buying the local Miss Universe franchise and with the help of the best TV practitioners, re-launch “BB. PILIPINAS-UNIVERSE BEAUTY PAGEANT.” Out of delicadeza, I will not compete, of course.

How I Got Started

2011-07-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

Varekai was fantastic! Too fantastic that fantastic wouldn’t even begin to describe its fantasticness so I’ll just park all my thoughts and praises on Varekai because this story – “How I Get Started” – is about the life-changing events that transpired after Varekai the show. Read my letter to them.

Dear Sybille,

Hi! Great show! Congratulations to the performers and the artists behind Varekai. That being said, I am writing to you about the major thing that ruined the Cirque de Soleil experience for so many of us. I was one of those complaining after the July 22/3:30PM show when you again refused to honor the senior citizen discounts despite discrepancies in your senior citizen discount rule, discrepancies for which you are entirely responsible.

Hoopla.ph cites in their rules and regulations on senior citizen discount that the discount can only be given on the date of the show for which the ticket was purchased, but when I approached the senior citizen refund window, the lady said that discounts can only be processed before the show. I weakly argued that the show just ended, and that it was raining too hard right before the show began that it wasn’t prudent to run through the storm to get to the box office for the refund. She said that was the rule, so I walked away. But something’s quite not right so I accessed the hoopla website on my cellphone and true enough the rules only stated “same date,” nothing about transacting for the refund before the show. I patiently went back in line. When my mom heard that the party in the adjacent window had the same concern, she led me to that window. I echoed the chinita lady who was with her two senior citizen parents who swore that there was no mention of the “before the show rule” in their website. As if having encountered the exact problem before, ticket the lady took out a supposed print out of the rules and regulations as seen allegedly in their website, only problem is this printout has a 7th rule whereas the website only lists 6. And I was showing her the website on my cellphone as it appeared around 6:30 PM today, July 22. But the print-out has the seventh rule – encircled with a ballpoint pen for emphasis (another indicator that we were not the first to complain about this) – states that the refund can only be processed before the show. How dubious! At this point, the chinita lady’s dad was getting upset so the ticket lady called the French female manager, you, Sybille, and you insisted that the rules on cirquedesoleil.com will be the one honored, not the one listed on hoopla, to which chinita (go, girl!) incredulously remarked that hoopla was the one listed in all their publicity! You said the only thing you can do right now is give your email address (not yours personally, but a generic varekaicustomerservice address) so we could email our concern. You promised that if we did so that day we would get a reply by 10pm. It’s already 10:56pm so I wouldn’t put my hopes up.

While writing this now I again checked the hoopla website, and it’s been changed. It now almost mirrors the cirquedesoleil.com site and when you click enter, it will now just re-direct you to the cirquedesoleil.com website. OK, so I guess if you do reply, will you just deny the existence of the previous website that only has 6 rules (how can I print screen from my cellphone?)

How much are we talking about here? Our seats were worth P3800 each. At 20% off, my parents would have saved a combined amount of P1,520. My parents’ tickets and the other two I bought with it were all charged the full amount when bought, I could easily brush this off, and right now I am. I am no longer after the discount because right now I figured the only way you would give us this discount is if we travel again from Marikina to Manila, such that the amount we will receive may just about cover our gas and food expenses for that discount. Hardly worth my parents’ trouble and embarrassment. My parents were thrilled to be able to help out in the expenses with their senior citizen cards even when I said it wasn’t necessary. I guess we won’t be able to understand the sense of reward and privilege in whatever little discount they could get just by brandishing that card, they wear it like it’s a badge that proves they were productive, hard-working citizens which this society is now bestowing with some perks. I’m not including my parents’ senior citizen id details in this letter because the discount is not the point. I just hope that you would consider this unfortunate incident so that positive adjustments may be made in how you deal with your senior citizen viewers and their families next time.

Maraming salamat po.

Rey

I should’ve warned you to just skip the whole letter thing hehehe.

Anyway, ang tanging pamangkin kong nakasama na si Justin na nagsisisgaw at nagatatalon pa hanggang sa curtain call ay biglang sumakit daw ang ulo at nagsususuka during dinner. So umuwi na agad kami. 8PM na’to so in-anticipate naming ang kasagsagan ng Friday night traffic jam. Suwerte namang matiwasay kaming nakarating ng Buendia para sunduin ang sister ko, nag-C5 hanggang nakarating sa bahay ng parents ko sa Marikina. Walang traffic! Himala! Wala pala sa’ming gustong batiin ‘yun mula nang bumibiyahe kami sa Roxas Boulevard so ngayon lang kami nakapag-celebrate hehe. But no, since nabati nga! Traffic sa Katipunan! Kung kelan mag-isa na lang sa kotse! Hay!

Paglampas ng Miriam, tumambad na ang “yun lang ‘yun?!” na dahilan ng trapik. A mother was trying to CROSS Katipunan from La Vista gate to the U-turn slot across it. Her window was down so you could see her shamelessly looking at the traffic jam she’s caused as she gives them a face that was half-pleading-half-putting-up-a-mean-front. Ambuwisit ‘to, ha! Pagtapat na pagtapat ng kotse ko sa kotse niya, I rolled down my passenger side window, looked at her and waited for her to look at me straight in the eye (which didn’t take long) then I mouthed “Ang bo-bo mo! Ga-go!” She was perhaps still deciphering what I just said, but not wanting to delay everyone much further, I took out my gun from the glove compartment and fired at her car, I dunno know, three times. I am positive I hit her right in the head with my first shot pa lang. I looked around and the witnesses were looking at her then they looked at me, they had this look of shock that quickly shifted to fear-anger then to something I couldn’t quite place but I would imagine it would be the look I’d have whenever someone actually says or does something evil that everybody else was thinking of saying or doing anyway. The shock was not from the act, but for the courage that went into doing it. I felt like they wanted to cheer but out of the littlest respect they have for that woman they just paused then drove along their way. Just before I reached home, I thought I might have to do this regularly, killing as my way of serving this country. I shall call myself the BadAss dot dot dot “The Bad Driver Assassin – Killing Bad Drivers before they Kill More!”

kalderomance

2011-07-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_vSKWK4GZixiwhoSkXFFAzIJreDKuWsUTA6KUM97SYk/edit?hl=en_US

Two True Stories: Le Bastille and Le Poop

2011-04-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

“How’s Skeeter?” (her real name)

“Okay naman siya! She does freelance marketing,” then biglang nag-dawn sa’kin kung bakit bilang naalala ni Wenda (not her real name) ang loka-lokang ka-edad lang namin pero mas batang ‘di hamak ang batch sa Broad Ass (real name, short for UP Broadcasting Association) kaya na-weirdan akong siya of all people ang unang kukumustahin sa’kin ni Wenda,“Puwede mo siyang kunin sa bagong trabaho mo!” Nu’ng nakuwento na ni Wendang na-pirate siya para maging bagong VP for Marketing ng isang bangkong gustong tapatan ang BDO, in-expect ko nang ililibre niya ang mamahaling bacon-cheeseburger na inorder ko dito Friday’s High Street.

Last year para ko na ring nagawa ang malayong panaginip na makapag-European Tour nang subaybayan ang regular fb status updates at mga albums na in-upload ni Skeeter . At nang matapos ang kanyang ilang linggong nagpalipat-lipat-bansa, excited akong nakipagkita upang masaksihan mismo ang mga super-animated na pagkukuwento niya ng kanyang mga travel abrowd!

“Rey, Paris, was the best! But it was expensive! I mean, I knew it was gonna be expensive pero ‘pag dating ko talagang hindi pa rin ako prepared! Expensive itoh!” Skeeter has a deep, nasal voice, a tall, morena woman who sends out energy to make sure you feel exactly what she’s feeling when she speaks out. I eagerly devoured every word, every exaggerated joke, every gesticulation. And it is from here that I will hear my favorite travel story. Ever.

Skeeter had Paris among her last stops on her solo backpacking tour of Europe. She further illustrated the very high cost of living in Paris by saying that her cab fare from the airport to her hostel costs as much as a week’s worth of train pass in Germany. But things serendipitously worked out for her, as if Paris was going extra lengths to be the most ideal host to this one-of-a-lifetime guest. There was a transport strike when Skeeter arrived in Paris. An Asian man she recognized from her plane was right ahead of her at the taxi passenger queue. Skeeter chatted him up. Self-taught in French, Skeeter acted out her French opening statemen to the guy. “Wait,” I interrupted, “naiintindihan nila ang French mo? “I guess, kasi kung kinakausap ko sila sumasagot sila sa’kin in French at nagkakaintindihan kami.” Whoa! This proves Skeeter’s creepy good self-learning! I mean, I wouldn’t really be able to tell if her confident, seemingly very fluent French is actually just gibberish, but I’m sure my glib Spanish ala Miss Venezuela in the question and answer portion won’t even be recognized as Castilian in Caracas!

That guy, who was masungit pa raw at first, agreed to share the lone cab with her, dropped her off at her hostel, and volunteered to foot the fare entirely! Then Skeeter meets a Paris professor in the hostel. He ends up postponing a trip to his hometown to show her around their capital the next day! Nakatipid na naman si Skeeter. On her third day she ventures out to see the Bastille. She was taking particular care when taking photos of the historical marker that bears the French name of the place when an Asian woman approached and asked why she was taking a photo of the marker. Skeeter explained to the woman, “I’m from the Philippines and my family name is Labastilla. It’s the Spanish word for Le Bastille.” To which the Asian woman replied, “I’m from the Philippines, too, and my family name is Labastilla!”

The woman turned out to be distant relative of Skeeter’s. She was in Paris for her work in the UN but she lost her bag and with it her diplomatic passport and money. She was supposed to leave France that day but decided to visit Bastille instead when her office advised her that they will shoulder all her expenses in the city pending issuance of replacement passport. Tita would take Skeeter around Paris the rest of her stay. Galeng, no?

Come to think of it, Wenda now reminds me of Skeeter. They both have a sharp, twisted sense of humour, they're highly entertaining conversationalists, and experimental powerdressers. Today, Wenda was wearing a power little black dress with biggish, structural sleeves. She does look like that young, dynamic, hotshot VP in her early 30’s who will add vibrance to this sleepy bank. She goes, “I have a gross story.” Wala pa naman ‘yung order so sige.

“Kaninang umaga (fresh na fresh ang story niya!), nagpa-medical check-up ako for this new job nga…at kailangan ng stool sample.” May mas gaganda pa bang opening sentence sa isang gross story? “So sabi nila gawin na lang beforehand then dalhin na lang sa ospital. So kanina dinala ko sa kanila.” She said this while raising her knuckles as if she were clutching an invisible purse so I asked, “Huh? Pero ‘di ba isang toothpick lang naman ang kailangang sample?” Biglang sagot ni Wenda, “SIYEMPRE HINDI KO ALAM ‘YAN, NO!”

Nangisay na’ko pagpigil sa malakas na pag-iyak-halakhak ko! Shet! Kadire!
Buti nga raw hindi ‘yung lumang Tupperware ang ginamit niyang lalagyan “para mas maganda,” so ginamit niya ‘yung lalagyan ng bagong Selecta-Hershey’s Reeses ! Kinarir pa raw niyang saluhin lahat pagkagising niya. Nilagay niya sa paperbag tapos ni-label pa niya ng pangalan niya, date, at time of movement. Pagdating niya sa ospital, pinagtawanan at pinandirihan daw siya ng mga nurse! “Ma’am, ilipat n’yo po sa parang lalagyan lang po ng catsup.” Nandiri pa si Wenda sa idea, “Ngyi! Kayo na gumawa nu’n!” Nagmatigas na lang siya at iniwan na lang daw niya ang kanyang pint-size stool sample doon.

Lovi and other Drugs

2011-02-17T18:32:00.001-08:00

Sa Lunes, tatlong Pilipinong convicted of drug trafficking ang ifa-firing squad sa China. The family of one, a female, insists that her recruiter gave her a bag that turned out to have a secret compartment where a substantial amount of heroin were found. There is no point doubting their story. Whether the DH was aware or not that she was carrying drugs in her bag, her plight is just as that of the other Pinay caught at our airport last night then tearfully recounted to TV Patrol how she accepted payment to get the drugs through our security by swallowing some packets of heroin and hiding the bigger ones in her vagina! Ayokong i-generalize ang plight ng mga OFW pero oftentimes pinakakawawa talaga ‘yung mga unskilled female labor exports natin. Sa pagkadesperada nila sa sitwasyon nila rito, iiwanan nila ang mga anak nila tapos para kumita pa nang konti, masasangkot pa sila sa illegal drug trade.

I have very liberal views on personal drugs. Non-issue na nga ito sa progresibong bansa pero siguro pa panahon sa Pilipinas para talakayin ang legalisasyon kaya hindi ko pa ikakampanya rito ang matitipid nating pera at panahon sa anti-drug enforcement natin na mukhang mas corrupt pa sa ating anti-carnapping force. Ayoko munang i-discuss dito ang legalisasyon dahil baka mag-react lang ang mga tulad ni Tito Sotto, isang self-proclaimed anti-drug legislator (na minsan ding nasangkot sa drug trade), dahil wala nga namang panama ang argumento ko sa anti-drugs rhetoric ng mga tulad niyang gusto pang ipagbawal ang poppy seed sa mga tinapay dahil may opyo. Ipa-ban na rin niya ang Coca-Cola kasi may cocaine.

Kunsabagay, hindi ko naman masisi kung ang anti-drugs rhetoric ay suportado ng media, ng Simbahan, ng mga paaralan, ng mga negosyo, ng komunidad, ng pamilya! Sa isyung anti-drugs lang yata nagkakasundu-sundo ang buong sambayanang Pilipino! Eh, bakit may drugs pa rin? Kasi gago tayo. Oo, gago tayo. Tanungin mo pa si Ronald Singson kung gago ang mga Pilipino, tiyak sasabihin n’un, “Oo naman. Gago kayong mga Pilipino.”

Kasi kung hindi niya tayo itinuturing na gago hindi siya magpapa-interview saying pinag-iisipan na nga niyang mag-resign bilang kongresista. “That is an option…Aminado naman akong nasira ko ang pangalan ng Kongreso,” sabi niya sa Bandila. “Rest assured that I will do what is right?” O, ‘di ba, gago raw tayo.

Mga putang ina rin daw tayo. “I am very eager to join the country’s anti-drug campaign,” sabi ng nag-iisip pa kung magre-resign na Congressman Ronald Singson.

Pero gago at putangina man ako, hindi ako tanga. Nu’ng nagpunta akong Hong Kong, nilapitan ako ng isang lolo habang nakapila sa check-in counter ng NAIA. “Hijo, pupunta kayong Hong Kong? Wala kang bagahe? Puwede bang magpadala?”

Siyempre may initial instinct was to say no pero hindi ko magawa kasi lolo, nakabarong, payat, naka-ID pa ng NAIA, mukhang disente. “Mga papeles lang ‘to.” Pinakita niya ang parang photocopied documents tapos pinasok niya ‘yon sa isang small brown envelope. “Isara ko na, ha?” Halos hindi ako makasagot pero hinahayaan ko na lang siya. Nagsusumigaw pa rin ang utak ko para tumanggi pero ni hindi ako makakibo nu’ng pine-paste na niya ‘yung envelope. Kinuha ko ang envelope at akmang tutupiin para magkasya sa backpack ko nang, “Ay, ‘wag mong tupiin,” malumanay niyang ni-request. Sinamahan pa niya ako sa pagbayad ko ng travel tax at sa final security check. Naibsan ang pangamba ko nang parang kakilala siya ng airport employees at tuluy-tuluyan lang siya sa immigration counter at final checking. Trinay kong tumanggi nang binilhan niya ako ng mamon at kape pero hindi siya pumayag. Hiningi rin niya ang number ko para matawag daw niya ako pagdating ko ng Hong Kong.

Walang mintis namang paglapag ko ng Hong Kong International Airport ay tumawag siya. Inulit niya ang habilin niyang may naghihintay sa labas na may karatula ng pangalan ko. Du’n ko raw iabot ‘yung envelope. So nilabas ko na’yung small brown envelope at tumungo na sa exit. Nang bigla akong kinamayan ng security. Ninenerbiyos ako pero trinay kong huwag ipahalatang ninenerbiyos ako. Bahagyang nag-smile pa’kong kalmadong lumapit sa kanya. “You have anything to declare?”

Buti I remember this article about Israel’s Ben Guiron Airport na kahit isang bonggang-bonggang security risk ay wala nu’ng mga intrusive machines na common sa iba pang paliparan dahil ang pinaka-effective daw na pag-detect ng mga kriminal is by looking at passengers in the eye. So nag-effort akong tingnan ang mga mata ng matangkad at lanky chinito security guy lalo pa nang kinuwestiyon na niya ako, “Is that envelope yours?”

“Oh, I’m giving to my friend,” hindi ko na maalala ang alibi ko basta nag-maintain ako ng eye contact. “Do you know the person that you’re giving this, too?” Siguro nakatulong din na hirap siyang mag-Ingles. Padedma kong sagot, “O, yeah! Don’t worry, he’s my friend.” And then he waved me through the customs x-ray machine. The guy at the machine asked, “You have your passport?” “Yeah,” and I reached into my small bag to get it but the guy immediately motioned that it’s not necessary. My bag went through the xray, I took it and walked through the exit. Right across, resting on the railing is a man holding a handwritten sign of my name. I walked up to him, handed him the brown envelope without saying a word, and I walked off to the Airport Express.

Simple. And lolo paid me HKD 500 pa!

Summer of '98

2011-02-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

Shit-shit-shit! Hindi ako nagising! Dalawang oras na yata akong late sa assembly time ng Assers para sa planning sem sa Subic! Eksakto pang nagri-ring ang telepono sa sala. Parang alam ko nang para sa’kin ‘to kahit walang caller ID. Nakaka-tense ang makita mong nagri-ring ang cellphone mo ngayon tapos ‘di mo feel kausapin ‘yung tumatawag, paano pa kaya noong torture pa kung sasagutin mo ang tawag nang may risk na‘yung iniiwasan mo ang nasa kabilang linya. No choice ka naman kundi sagutin kasi baka ibang importanteng tawag ‘tong ini-ignore mo. Sheepishly…“Hello?”

“AGAPAY!” Patay! Si Broad Ass Executive Secretary Wenna na malamang asa phonebooth sa ilalim ng skywalk, ‘yung stainless na hinuhulugan ng tatlong pisong barya. “Ahehehehe,” wala na’kong ibang maipaliwanag, eh, so tumawa-tawa na lang ako. “Hay, naku! Sumunod ka na lang ng Subic! Mauuna na kami!”

“Si Mutya late rin, sabay na lang kayo!” utos ni Wenna bago pa siya tuluyang maubusan ng tatlong minutong palugit sa tawag.

Para matawagan si Mutch, kinuha ko ang Broad Ass Directory na matiyagang prinint, xinerox, ginupit at ini-stapler ng Memcom para maging wallet-sized booklet na giveaway sa members. Parang nag-meet yata kami ni Mutch sa veranda, or baka rin sa Starbucks Katipunan na nagbukas nu’ng 1998. Kasisimula pa lang ang konstruksyon ng MRT nu’n at kathang-isip pa lang ang SCTEX kaya mahigit 4 hours ang gagawin naming pagsunod sa Assers sa Subic.

Walang online booking na tinatawag kaya ang plano ay du’n na lang magsa-scout ng murang resort na mapag-o-overnaytan. Text-text na lang, ika nga, pero since wala pang texts nu’n, sa beeper kami magko-communicate. Never akong nagka-pager nu’ng mga panahong ito kasi luho ang pager kaya wala akong lakas ng loob hingan ang parents ko nito. Ang Inggliserang si Mutya ang de-pager.

Pagdating naming Olongapo, ipe-page namin ang Assers kung saang resort sila. Ang hindi naming na-realize ay long distance phone call ang rate ng bawat pag-page since based sa Maynila ang mga predecessor ng call centers na opisina ng Pocketbell at Easycall. Ang mga operators ang magta-transcribe ng ididikta mong mensahe para ma-send as analogue pager message, parang text lang kaso ididikta mo pa sa isang stranger ang text message mo para ma-send. Strict pa’to, English, Tagalog or Taglish lang. Walang magse-send ng message mong simpleng Spanish na tulad ng “Adios, amigo!” Bawal din ang mga nega messages na “_____’s dad just passed away” kahit pa totoo ‘to at ini-inform mo lang sila. Ang hirap nang may nangingialam sa ite-text mo, pramis!

Talagang naubos ang pang-estudyanteng budget namin ni Mutya kaka-page sa kanila pero since hindi pa nu’n reliable ang signal sa mga lugar sa labas ng Metro Manila, minsan oras ang hinihintay namin bago makatanggap at maka-receive ng beeps! Shit talaga!
Inabot na kami ng gabi pero wala kaming natanggap na page mula sa kanila. Nag-isaw na lang kami for dinner bago naming napagdesisyunan na mag-overnight na lang sa isa sa mga nagkalat na motel ru’n. “Magkano po ang overnight,” bilang mga wala na kaming pera. “Ilang taon na kayo,” usisa ng mama sa “reception” ng isang cheapanggang motel. Sumagot kaagad ako, “Ako po 18... Eighteen na rin po siya,” nagsinungaling ako. Sinipat ako ng lalake bago tumingin kay Mutya. “Mga bata pa kayo, ha…”
“Hindi po, matutulog lang po talaga kami,” depensa ko.
“Sa iba na lang kayo.”

When it looked like mahihirapan kaming maka-check-in, nagtanung-tanong na lang kami ni Mutya kung saan ang mga resorts sa Subic. Sumakay kami sa itinturo nilang sakayan ng jeep (noon pa man, maayos at color-coded na ang mga jeepney sa Olongapo) at by gut feel, nakipagsapalaran kaming bumaba sa sinasabing area na maraming resort at plinano naming isa-isahin ang mga lugar doon at baka matunton namin ang mga Asser.

Ang kuwento nila, nag-iinuman na sila, wondering kung nasaan na kami bilang walang mga signal ang mga pager nila. “Nasaan na kaya si Rey?” Sumagot si Wenna, “Ayan, o!” Nagtawanan sila! Pero hindi pala nagbibiro si Wenna dahil eksaktong nasipat niya ako at si Mutya sa labas ng bakod ng inupahan nilang bahay. Milagro talagang natunton namin sila.

Walang ganitong adventure kung may text o Facebook na nu’n.

Ang Palanca Letter at ang Long Gown

2011-02-01T06:11:00.000-08:00

Nang nilabas na ni Mr. Balatbat ang sangbungkos na palanca letters, tila sadya pa niyang iniharap sa buong klase ang sulat na may kissmark complete with handwritten “S.W.A.K.” Napahalakhak agad ako nang malakas with matching pagturo pa rito. “Pucha! Patay ‘to! Alaskado sa’kin ang may-ari ng sulat na’yan,” evil thought ko. Sa taun-taong retreat, ngayong senior year na lang kami pinadala ng palanca letter, which were submitted days before to our Religion Teacher, sealed and to be opened only on this night of the retreat. My dad handed me my palanca letter right before I left kaya hawak ko na agad ang akin.
Parang isang Bubble Gang sketch, hinuli pang dinistribyut ang sulat na tiyak na magiging target ng panunukso kaya inabangan naming mga alaskador ang pagbibgyan ng sulat, ang huling tatawaging pangalan: “Agapay.” O, putsa! Ang balis ng karma!

Hindi ko na-recognize ang distinct cursive penmanship at shade ng lipstick ng mommy ko, who decided to write me a palanca letter apart from my dad’s. Kaya ‘di tulad ng lahat na nag-share sa iisang letter ang mga magulang, by the time na tuyo na ang mga luha nila sa binasa, sisimulan ko pa lang ang pangalawang palanca letter.

Hindi man Christian concept ang karma, tanggap ‘to ng mga Pinoy dahil siguro sa mga lipunang flawed pa ang justice system tulad ng atin, ang ganitong divine justice na lang ang maari nating panghawakan. Pero maalala ko ang isang kaibigang Hindu na lininaw that karma is not entirely supernatural. After all, everything we do have consequences, whether we realize it or not. Ang logical consequences na’yun mismong ay matuturing na karma. Kung mahilig ka nga namang mag-isip ng pam-punchline sa iba, hindi mo mapapansin na nase-set-up mo na pala ang sarili mo na ma-punchline ng iba.

Si Cindy ang pinakaunang kinasal sa Powerbarkada. At dahil OA sa aga ang 5AM calltime sa venue, nag-check-in na kaming matatalik na magkakaibigan sa hotel. Para ma-tense ang mga OC kong kasama, nagdala ako ng blue long gown na naka-hanger at plastic pa na parang bagong dryclean. Pang-asar lang na ‘yun ang isusuot ko sa kasal ni Cindy. Mga past midnight na’ko nakabalik sa hotel galing sa trabaho. At du’n ko lang na-realize na sa kasabikan kong bitbitin ang gown, naiwan ko sa bahay ang mismong isusuot ko! Wala pa’kong kotse nu’n kaya nag-taxi ako pauwi sa Pasig para kunin ‘yun. Pagbalik ko sa hotel, haggard na haggard na’ko at kaunting panahon na lang para makatulog. Hayun, puyat ako sa morning wedding.

Venus Raj - Showbiz Central Pinoy of the Year

2010-12-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

mahirap daw magkaroon ng "Showbiz Central Pinoy of the Year" as i suggested kasi baka raw may ma-offend na mga kampo kung hindi sila manalo, or ma-nominate man lang. so i'm posting the script for a feature that will never air. hindi siya naka-A/V format na parang sa TV script kasi hindi siya ma-display nang ganu'n sa facebook pero sana ma-appreciate n'yo pa rin.

JOHN LAPUS LIVE INTRO:

Ngayon 2010, after 11 years, ay nakapasok tayo sa Miss Universe in a major-major way! Dahil ‘yan sa ating unang nominado bilang the first ever Showbiz Central Pinoy of the Year na si… “Maria Venus Raj, 22, Philippines!”

cut to VTR

RAYMOND GUTIERREZ VO:

Ang kuwentoito ay ‘yung tipo ng kuwentong tinatawag na “parang pelikulang Pilipino.” Isang inang nakipagsapalaran sa ibang bansa umibig sa isang Indian national, ngunit nang mabuntis ay iniwanan. Kahit pa husgahan ng iba, pinili ng inang bumalik sa bayan ng Bato, Camarines Sur upang doon palakihin ang bata.

Sa Inang Maria at sa mitong diyosa ng kagandahan ng mga Griyego ipinangalan ang batang babae, subalit dahil ‘di maipagkakailang iba ang hitsura niya sa kanyang mga kapatid at kalaro, bukod pa sa pagiging payat at maitim, ‘di agad nakapukaw at naging target pa nga ng panunukso ang hitsura ni Maria Venus.

Gayunpaman, matindi ang pangarap niyang maging beauty queen balang-araw. Habang tumatawid sa mga pilapil ay ini-imagine niyang nagvi-victory walk siya. Pero sa dinami-rami ng mga sinalihan niyang pageant, iisang beses pa lang siya nanalo… March 7, 2010, nakamit niya ang pinakaprestihiyosong korona sa bansa!

SOT ANNOUNCEMENT OF WIN IN BB. PILIPINAS: "And Bb. Pilpinas-Universe is candidate number 10, Maria Venus Raj!"

Kulang sa tatlong linggo matapos manalo, binawi ang korona kay Venus dahil sa mga ‘di pagkakatugma ng mga impormasyon sa kanyang birth certificate.

Hindi si Venus ang unang kinatawan ng Pilipinas sa Miss Universe na na-dethrone, pero siya na yata ang unang lumaban. Sa press, at sa korte nanindigan si Venus. Bunga ng kahirapan at pagiging ilihitimo ang kanyang kuwestiyonableng birth ceritificate. Nakakuha siya ng simpatiya sa publiko hanggang mabigyan siya ng pasaporte, ang isa sa mga kundisyon upang mabalik sa kanya ang korona.

Matapos nu’n, tuluyan nang nakamit ng Bicolana ang paghanga ng mga Pilipino. Wala nang kumukuwestiyon sa kanyang pagka-Pilipina at sa kanyang kakayanang iuwi ang korona, subalit nu’ng araw ng pageant, August 24, 2010, 9 AM Manila Time, halos manlumo na ang mga Pilipinong sumusubaybay sa kanya dahil makukumpleto na ang Top 15 ay hindi pa rin siya natatawag. Hanggang sa iisang pangalan na lang ang natitira…

SOT NG PAG-ANNONCE SA TOP 15: "And the final spot - are you ready - belongs to...the Philppines!"

SOT NG 4 NA BADING NA NAGTATATALON

Milyung-milyong Pilipino sa buong mundo ang nagkaisa sa pagsuporta sa kanya.

SOT NG PAGPASOK SA TOP 10: "Next up, the Philippines!"

SOT NG PAGPASOK SA FINAL 5: "Finally...the Philippines!"

Suot ang drop earrings na ginamit ni Miss Universe 1999 first runner-up, Miriam Quiambao, ang final question ang huling hinarap ni Venus.

SOT NG QUESTION: "What is one mistake that you made and what did you do to make it right?"

SOT NG PAGSAGOT

Pinagtatalunan hanggang ngayon kung ano nga ba ang dapat na isinagot ni Venus. Sa dinami-rami nga naman ng mga pagsubok na pinagdaanan niya sa kanyang “22 years of existence,” bakit wala ni isa man siyang tinuring na malaking pagkakamali? Hindi niya ininda ang kahirapan, ang pangungulila sa ama, ang diskriminasyon, pangungutya, at pagkatalo sa mga pageant, dahil nanatiling masigasig si Venus sa isang malaking pangarap, at ang pagpupursigi niyang matupad iyon sa sariling sikap at tatag ng loob ay nagbigay ng inspirasyon at karangalan sa isang lahing nagsisimula muling maniwala sa kanilang sariling ganda.

Maria Venus Raj, Miss Universe 2010 Fourth Runner-up, nominado for the first ever Showbiz Central Pinoy of the Year.

Christmas with my Pamangkins

2010-12-10T02:30:00.000-08:00

I used to ask my pamangkins what they want for Christmas. Para siguradong gifts ko ang pinaka-favorite nila sa lahat, ‘yung tipong yakap-yakap nila sa pagtulog. Nalito ako when DJ, my third pamangkin, merely asked for ‘Yung umiikot…‘Yung red.’ Karga –karga pa yara si DJ ng yayo nila nu’n so I just turned to his Kuya Dave-Dave. “Do you have any idea what DJ wants?”

“Yes. Ambulance,” kuya replied matter-of-factly.

Hindi ako nangkaroon nang ganyang communication problem nu’ng si Dave-Dave (ang aking unang nephew) ang bulol. Nang tinanong ko siya kung ano gusto niya, tumayo siya tapos parang pinindot niya ang batok niya sabay howl na parang t-rex, “NGUWAAAARGH!” Naalala ko ang t-rex impressions ni Jim Carrey complete with crooked arms to resemble the giant lizard’s. Alam ko na. Sa toy store, walang kahirap-hirap na naituro ng clerk ang malaking t-rex na nagha-howl kung pinindot mo ang red button sa may batok nito.

My first pamangkin (the only niece), Daryn, once asked for “tuwalya ni Barbie.” Pumunta ako sa Toys R’ Us kung saan isang taon akong buwan-buwang bumibili ng GC’s para pagdating ng Pasko ay bongga ang budget lalo sa mga ganitong hiling ni Daryn na branded toys. Pero sa extensive Barbie section, wala akong makita ni face towel na Barbie! Tumawag ako sa sister-in-law ko to verify na tuwalya ni Barbie nga ang gusto ni Daryn. “Oo, pet cat ni Barbie ‘yan.” True enough, nang tinanong ko na sa saleslady, may stuffed toy na pusa na ang pangalan…Twyla!

Nu’ng wala pa akong kotse, nagpapasundo ako sa condo dahil ang dami ko ngang gifts. Madalas sumasama na ang mga pamangkin ko kasi atat sila. Ang saya lang kung pagbukas ng elevator eh may mga batang sasalubong at uusisain na ang dala-dalahin mo. “TITO RIC!!!” Sa kotse, nilalambing ako ni Dave-Dave habang inuusisa ang gift na alam niyang para sa kanya.

“What is your gift for me, Tito Ric? A. Dinosaur (obsession talaga niya dinosaurs), B. Car, C. Robot?”

“Eh, you didn’t tell me what you want, eh, so I just bought a box so you could put all your toys in it,” biro ko.

Tumahimik siya. Nang matagal na siyang hindi kumikibo tinanong ko siya, “Ano, hindi mo na’ko love?”

He lovingly screamed, “Love! Pero hindi ang box na’yan!” Batman action figure yata ang regalo ko talaga.

The next day, sumama pa rin si Dave-Dave sa paghatid sa’kin. Lumapit siya sa’kin sa car tapos sabi niya, “Tito Ric I love yu…” I instantly choked up, but before a tear could fall, Dave-Dave continued, “I love ‘yung Batman na car.”

Minamahal kong Noynoy,

2010-11-09T04:07:00.000-08:00

09 November 2010

Hindi ko po kayo binoto, hindi ko rin masabi kung bakit hindi, pero my friends had a field day when they found out because I practically campaigned for you, defended you from all their valid criticisms on your qualifications and your person. But in not fulfilling that great act of support for you on election day, was I subconsciously washing my hands from all these political guffaws your presidency have now been committing? I’m not really sure, but I am certain that I would still have voted for you, and I would not have regretted it as much as I do not regret going to Anawangin that day to contemplate our country’s future.

Dear Mr. President,

If there’s a bad word my Mommy Monster taught us not to use, it is “Buwisit!” Maybe it runs along the line of her Ilocana philosophy of not saying “Wala akong pera” as the mere utterance of such sentences creates a mindset that ultimately becomes self-fulfilling prophecy so kahit the past few weeks ay nako-conclude ko nang “Minalas lang talaga ang Pilipinas sa kanyang mga lider,” ayoko na lang sabihin, but think about it, around the time that Lee Kuan Yew was buiding Singapore into a First World Nation that it is now, Marcos was pillaging us back to the Stone Age. I agree with you nang sinabi mong sinayang ni Gloria ang kanyang halos isang dekadang panunungkulan na sana’y sapat na to put us right back on track towards sustainable development and social justice. Instead, somewhere in the early years pa lang, she must have found that too daunting a task over just taking advantage of her position to increase her family’s and cronies’ net worth at a rate that only China’s economy could rival. Ngayon, pasensya na, pero the people do not seem to expect much anymore from you. Don’t take it personally, we have been conditioned to distrust the government, regardless of who you are and what you really do. It’s gonna take consistent, sincere, and vigorous efforts to win us back. The good news is we are desperately willing to believe any government who promises to clean up its act, and regain the Philippines’ position as a regional political and economic leader. Kaya nga kahit kung tutuusin mas may credentials sina Gibo, Gordon, at Villar, ikaw ang binoto ng majority. It is a desperation comparable to that of the poorest of the poor’s when they almost brought Erap back to Malacañang last May.

I pity your position, ini-imagine ko na napakagulo at napakadumi talaga ng sistemang dinatnan mo, pero sana ma-inspire ka ng historical rewards na binigay namin sa mga magulang mo (kasi si Gloria dinedma ang reputasyon ng ama and now the Macapagal name is forever tainted). ‘Wag ka sanang mag-atubiling mag-alis ng mga taong incompetent. Eh ano kung masabi nilang ikaw lang ang incompetent sa gobyerno? Some of the best CEO’s lead companies in industries they technically know nothing about, but they have the talent for recruiting and keeping the best people. And, please, please go down hard on people in your administration who are not with you along the daan na matuwid. TANGGALIN MO SILA, PAHIYAIN, PARUSAHAN dahil - sorry for pagmumura, Mr. President - ang mga putanginang ‘yan, mula sa SK member hanggang sa Presidente, eh na-elevate na into an artform ang pangungurakot to the point na nabura na ang term na “hidden wealth” sa mga balita! Pinaparada na ngayon ang katas ng pangungurakot! Tapos depensa pa ng mga walangya ang “due process” and “presumption of innocence!”

Corruption has become so ingrained in the workings of government that it has seeped into our daily lives. Our silence and even participation, sometimes misconstrued as acceptance, IS ACTUALLY US ADAPTING lest we perish in a virtually failed state whose national development index has continually spiraled to one of the world’s lowest.

Mr. President, the Filipinos, all 90+ million of us (and still growing) are no longer citizens of a nation, we are nomads who surprisingly survive in this harsh land. Few flourish but far more must join the state-sponsored diaspora to actualized lands. Nomads, understandably, are undisciplined, uncooperative, disunited and argumentative. It must be a pain in the ass to lead such vocal and cynical peoples but surely you do not have to look hard to see that you have at your disposal a team of champions. Magagaling kami, matatalino, matatatag ang loob. Maayos na gobyerno na lang talaga ang nawawalang crucial ingredient para maging bongga ang bansa natin! There seems to be no substitute to good governance because although so many in the private sector can only do so much to compensate for a government that sucks! Still, despite their shortcomings, our schools, Churches, industries, media, NGO’s, cooperatives, foundations are big reasons why the Philippines has not completely disintegrated despite a grossly corrupt and unpatriotic government. At every level of our polarized society you will meet inspiring individuals and groups consciously doing their whatever they can to make the Philippines a better place. We do so with nary a government support because mahirap nang umasa sa gobyerno, or worse, baka gumulo lang kapag in-involve pa ang gobyerno. If only you can transform government, from panira to one that will literally get our acts together then perhaps all these good intentions and deeds can be better orchestrated towards our finally becoming a Champion Nation…

Your belief in the importance of a clean, transparent, and accountable government is a good start. Despite a dismal first 100 days I think you still have enough public support to do what you have to do, but accept that even your supporters like me will always be critical because your missteps will be as much ours.

Thank you for your time, Mr. President. Kindly reply na lang in the form of a term that will be forever remembered as one that paved the way for a First World Philippines. Your success will be as much ours. We desperately hope for it.

God bless you po at mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

With you in nationhood,

reyagapay, 31, marikina

Sex Malls, French Maids, Cute Geeks in Akiba, Tokyo

2010-10-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

On the last day of auditions for ‘Starstruck V’ in Tokyo, some of the guys working at the Koozy Bar where we held the auditions gamely took us around their city, despite them having no sleep from working the night before, and being up the whole day in support of our auditions. Most of my female colleagues would rather go shopping for souvenirs; I'd rather walk around aimlessly exploring this fascinating, ultra-modern metropolis. Our hosts decided that Akihabara or Akiba would be the best place to explore on a Sunday night since it will surely be bustling with life, it has some of the best stores for discount, souvenir, and electronics shopping, and it has that night market vibe that truly gives you a clue about the people and the culture of the foreign land you are in. But to say that Akihabara, also known as Electric Town or Denki-gai, is to Tokyo as Divisoria or Greenhills is to Manila and Chatuchak and Pratunam is to Bangkok might be an understatement.

Check out Akihabara on my favorite photoblog on Japan, shibuya246.com!

From the Filipino Koozy Bar at the heart of Kinshicho, probably among the most multi-cultural in Tokyo (there are lots of Russian bars, and there is a genuine Filipino restaurant down the street from Koozy), the train station is a few minutes walk away. Crossing the busy streets is a breeze because aside from the traffic lights, sometimes there are policemen wielding lighted sabers to signal cars to stop and pedestrians to cross. The overpass over the intersection to the station even has outdoor escalators. Our good-looking Pinoy hosts, TJ (sister of Nina Kodaka) and another whose name eludes me now, pointed out the ridged gray bricks on the streets are so the visually impaired can easily navigate the city.

From the Kinshicho station, we took the Japan Railway Line (JR Line) to Akihabara, which is just three stations away. Tokyo’s highly efficient and very, very busy train system has about 20 lines (Manila has LRT 1 & 2 and MRT Lines). The umi-ispaghetting system map can be daunting even to locals but I’m glad we aren’t taking the subway this time because we’d get to glimpse this great Asian hub from the elevated railways.

Akihabara Station, even on a Sunday night, proved to be crazy busy. If you’re not careful, the polite crowd could carry you along. Just finding the right exit from the station can be intimidating at first but there are lots of maps and English signs, and station staff knows some English. The Japanese commuters may be infamous for their haste but amidst the throngs of students, salarymen, women, elderly, cute boys, and colorful teens rushing to and from every direction, one would endlessly hear their wakarimasen’s (Japanese for "Sorry"/ "Excuse me"). They also do not hog the escalators, the few willing to wait for the moving steps to run its course will stay on the left side so the more typical on-the-go Japanese could pass through the right. Such displays of organization and consideration are clues on why Japan is successful.

Emerging from the station to the street would be much like how Alice felt squeezing out of a rabbit hole into Wonderland. Akihabara, much like most of Tokyo, is an assault to the senses. It’s like waking up early in the morning and turning on the TV to a violent anime scene on full volume! The narrow street where we emerged is lined with electronics shops to the left, and makeshift outdoor food stalls and restaurants serving international foods and snacks to the right. ANG GULO! ANG INGAY! ANG SAYA!

The busiest areas cover I think about 2 kilometers of tall, brightly-lit buildings selling everything – electronics, computers, cellphones, manga, anime toys, sex toys, porn! The sidewalks are filled with foreigners as awestruck as us, serious bargain-hunters, and geeky Japanese yuppies. The stunning, mouth-watering stores, afraid you won’t notice their bright neon colored signs and billboards, sing out sales pitches from blaring speakers as salesmen recite them while wearing head-worn microphones and passing out leaflets. But the most attention-grabbing street ads are the Japanese girls dressed up as scantily-clad French maids inviting you for a drink at their “maid cafe” (quite a few are dressed as pastel-colored furry animals, too). I didn’t bother visiting this only-in-Japan establishment…until the next day. But tonight, I will check out those sex malls, er, shops (yes, there were more than one)!

One of the adult stores I checked out was four-storeys high, and the topmost part is restricted only to men, thought it seems to me that the merchandise at the non-restricted areas are just as raunchy. The excitement and 'feeling like a pervert' were soon overwhelmed with the humor and normalcy in the way the adult toys, goods, costumes, and porn are sold. Nor will you feel guilty just browsing through them the way I felt when I once dared walk through Greenbelt 5. The Japanese are very friendly and eager to help out, a surprising fact after bad experiences with masusungit locals of Singapore.

The next day, I returned to Akihabara alone to again meet with Lara. Most of the time I just rely on my LonelyPlanet Tokyo Encounter guidebook but asking for directions won't be a problem because despite their reputation, most Japanese could functionally converse English since learning English is given premium here. Lara, a college friend who followed her family to Japan right after graduation, earns well in Yokohama (the second largest city in Japan) teaching English at the International School, pero parang hindi niya ini-imbibe ang Japan. First time daw niyang mag-subway nu’ng naandu’n na’ko kasi natatakot daw siya. Anyway, we decided to talk to one of the French maids. Based on the number of French maids giddily campaigning for their cafes out in the streets, I estimate 20-60 competing cafes in Akihabara. When Lara and I were decided, the girl left her post to walk us to her café (it will be both our first time). Finding places in high density Tokyo is a difficulty compounded by a tricky address system (blocks, rather than streets, are named; houses are numbered by the order they were built, etc.) so this is another great service. The MaiDreaming maid café is a small restaurant located at the sixth floor of a narrow building. This was around 9PM but it seemed we were the first customers. We spent about thirty minutes in there, and only because we felt it rude to leave immediately, but maybe the French maids should’ve figured that we are not at all their target market. A large group of young Japanese salarymen I judged as textbook ‘otaku’ arrived as soon as Lara paid the outrageously humongous bill (good thing Lara was paying). Down the street, we both felt bad not warning the young African-Westerner male tourist we saw as we stepped out of the elevator. He seemd as clueless as we were as he was accompanied by the maid café temptress.

Akiba was a littler less busy by then. Lara treated me (again) to sushi and beer, we walked a bit, even saw a store selling second hand digicams (pero sa standards natin bagu-bago pa at napakamura at about 2,000 pesos) but it was already closed. ‘Di bale, I thought, I’ll just come back. Soon i hope.

Nasaan ka nu'n?

2010-09-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

WET DREAMS. Halos talunin pa ng malakas na ulan si Ibong Adarna sa pagpapaantok, sinusubok ang resolve kong mag-row ngayong madaling araw. Pero kahit kagabi pa umuulan na sa birthday party sa White Space (P.Tamo) ni Bong Revilla, kung saan pangunahin panauhin sina Gloria at Gibo, at ako naman ang raketerong writer, isang buwan na lang ang nalalabi bago ang kauna-unahan kong masasalihang international regatta ng UP Dragonboat Team sa Singapore kaya kailangan suungin patakbo ang ulan patungo kay Hans Ong na basang-basa man ay handa naman akong ihatid hanggang Manila Bay mula sa tinitirhan ko sa Santolan, Pasig. Pagsakay ko sa kanya, doon lang nag-text si Bryan na cancelled ang training. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamong bumalik sa kama nang bahagyang basa pa ng ulan ang buhok.

Bandang alas-9 na yata ako muling nagising. Sinundo si Haydee sa bahay nila sa Pasig Greenpark na bagama’t baha na ay yakang-yaka naman ng SUV. As usual, nagtu-toothbrush pa yata si Haydee pagdating ko, kaunting paghihintay, pero hindi ko in-expect na paglabas niya ng gate ay halos kailangan niyang tumalon papasok ng sasakyan dahil sa baha. Pag-arangkada, nagulat din ako dahil tumaas na agad ang level ng tubig.

Bahagyang matrapik sa Shaw underpass pero otherwise ay wala namang hassle papuntang RCBC Plaza. Sabado kaya parang ghost town ang Makati, ang lungsod na madalas ay dinadaga akong puntahan nang nakakotse during workdays dahil hindi ko kabisado ang mga one-way-one-way at wala raw patawad ang mga pulis kahit sa media ID. Wala kasing online payment ang Singapore Airlines kaya kailangang sadyain ang opisina nila para mabayaran ang roundtrip tickets ko to Singapore, promo price pa nga raw sabi ng nag-asikaso sa’min kaya hindi nalalayo sa binayaran ng mga nag-PAL ang nakuha kong presyo. Sulit naman talaga ang desisyon kong ‘yun dahil bongga ang meals kahit sa coach (may menu card pa!), free-flowing ang wine at Singapore sling, at mismong sa nakakairita sa gandang Changi Airport ang lapag ko at hindi sa Budget Terminal na tulad ng karamihan sa mga teammates na nagtipid-tipiran nang wala sa lugar kaya pinatos ang CebuFuck (Hahaha! Hindi maka-get-over?!) The benefits of the serendipitous decision to fly Singapore Airlines will be felt way before the flight a month from now. Ngayong maulang umaga na ito ng September 26, 2009 madarama ko na siya. WETTER REALITIES.

***

Sa ticketing office ng SIA ay hindi ka aware sa mga nangyayari sa labas kaya nagtanong ang babaeng nag-aasikaso sa’min kung malakas ba talaga ang ulan. Sabi namin ni Haydee, “Oo,” at nag-alala si ate, “because I have a wedding to attend to at the Fort this afternoon.” We all have our Ondoy stories, and that couple who wed on that fateful day must have one hell of a tale! Marami nga raw naapektuhang event dahil weekend tumama si Ondoy; ang laking pasalamat ko na lang na isa sa mga nakasama ng pamilya ko sa 2nd floor ng bagong-tayong bahay sa mismong tabi ng aming 31-year old split-level Marikina home ay isang caterer na na-postpone ang event kaya all the families who evacuated there had enough food ‘till the waters receded the next day.

DREAM-BELIEVE-SURVIVE! Babalik na sana kaming GMA nang nagulat kaming baha na sa Ayala Avenue! Narinig din namin sa FM na hindi na gumagalaw ang trapik sa EDSA. Naisip ko iba na’to. Tinext ko ang mga bosing na noo’y nagpapa-audition ng Starstruck sa Davao City kung saan maaraw. Hindi nila ma-grasp ang tindi ng bagyo sa Maynila kaya hindi sila pumapayag na i-cancel ko ang Starstruck auditions sa GMA na ako ang nakatokang mag-conduct. Meron na nga raw pinadala ang prestigious (HAHA!) Artist Center du’n para mag-audition. Nang nasilayan naming pinasok na rin ng baha ang Bread Talk sa Glorietta 4, napagpasyahan ko nang sumuway. No way am I going to go on a futile journey to the office! At kahit tutol din si Haydee sa kawalan ko ng plano, wala na rin siyang magawa nang i-park ko si Hans Ong sa elevated parking ng Greenbelt. May kaunting tao pa sa mall nu’n at nakapag-lunch pa kami sa Sentro. Maita, who works at Dusit, joined us. May ibang mas adik na staff ang na-late lang nang bonggang-bongga pero nakarating pa rin sa GMA. Sila na lang ang nag-conduct ng audition. Ang tanging nakuha sa Final 14 sa Starstruck V sa auditions na ‘yon ay isang Piero Vergara so in the long run na-vindicate naman ang desisyon kong pahalagahan na lang ang seguridad ko kesa ang pangarap na mag-artista ng ilang kabataan.

Ang boyfriend ni Maita na isang US Marine ay naka-billet sa Ascott (formerly Oakwood) at nag-offer siya sa’ming magpalipas muna ng gabi roon. By this time nakatanggap na’ko ng tawag kay Thea na ‘wag nang umuwi dahil baha na sa labas ng condo namin. Nausog niya ang kotse niya kaya interior detailing lang ang kinailangan. Ang brand new Honda Jazz ni Haydee ang nadale! Hanggang ngayon, sira pa rin ang power steering nito at isang transistor na binili sa Dimensione na lang ang sounds. This after spending thousands of pesos in repairs because despite other motor company’s humanitarian efforts to their Ondoy-affected clients (discounts in repairs/towing, etc.) – Honda’s first decree after the typhoon was to declare null the warranty of all submerged vehicles. This is the reason why after selling non-Ondoy affected Hans Ong a few months after, ni hindi ko kinonsider ang Honda as my next car.

Pagkatapos kumain ay naglakad na kami papuntang suite ni Kyle. May wifi doon kaya updated kami sa mga pangyayari. Ang video ng isang van sa Katipunan na nilamon ng baha ang nagpa-realize sa aming iba ‘tong si Ondoy. Nag-update na rin ang sister ko na umabot na sa garahe namin ang baha. Pre-BF Marikina, binabaha na talaga ang subdivision namin but my parents and ninong who was the architect of our home had the wisdom to elevate the house so never kaming pinasok ng baha kaya ganu’n na lang ang pagkagulat ko nang ang susunod na text eh nag-evacuate na sila sa second floor ng kapitbahay! I was ashamed that I was having an easy time that all I could text my sister was I’m stranded in Makati. ‘Di dinagukan ako nu’n kung nalaman niyang de-aircon at wifi ako sa isang luxury serviced apartment habang kumakain ng manok na libre pa ng isang guwapong US Marine! Incidentally, last Saturday, on the eve of the Ondoy Anniversary, Haydee and I again find ourselves at Kyle’s Ascott suite, this time to celebrate his upcoming marriage to Maita!

***

BATUHIN MO NG TINAPAY. Itinakbo na ni Kuya Rexel ang sasakyan sa iniisip niyang mataas-taas na lugar. Maraming car-owners ang ginawa rin ‘to pero parang pagtaya sa lotto, walang kasiguruhan kung ang tinatantiya mong safe ay hindi nga aabutin ng baha. Si Kuya Ryan naman ay sinundo na sa school ang dalawa kong pamangking uma-attend ng special classes to compensate for all the unexpected class suspensions since the start of the schoolyear. Pero nang malapit na sa bahay namin, kinailangan na nilang mag-park sa isang tabi dahil mataas na nga ang tubig. Naitawid pa ni kuya ang dalawang batang lalake sa bahay ng isa pang kapitbahay habang siya ay na-stranded na sa katapat na bakery in his attempt to reach our home. Patsi-patse ang detalye ko sa mga pangyayari pero patunay lang ‘to ng unpredictability ng araw na’yun at ng sobrang bilis talagang pagtaas ng tubig-baha. Ang naalala ko lang, mula sa bakery ay iniitisahan ni Kuya Ryan sina Dave-Dave at DJ ng Monday para may makain naman sila pero ang sabi ba naman, “Papa, we don’t like this. We want the ensaymada!”

Ang eldest niece ko naman ay naiwang mag-isa sa bahay nina Kuya Ryan sa kabilang side ng subdivision. Ang alam ko nasundo rin siya agad bago tuluyang pasukin ang bahay nila kaya magkakasama na sila sa 2nd floor ng bagong-tayong bahay. Halos dalawang dekada kaming walang katabing bahay at medyo nalungkot pa kami sa pagkawala ng sunlight sa terrace nang ipatayo ang two-storey house na magsisilbing lifesaver ng Pamilya Agapay at ng marami pang pamilya sa area.

Ang initial plan pa raw nila ay lumusong hanggang highway pero paglabas sa garahe at hanggang dibdib na ang tubig ay sinabi na ni Mommy kay Daddy na, “Ako kakayanin ko ‘to. Ikaw, hindi,” at kinatok na niya ang gate ng malaking bahay. Pinagbuksan naman sila. Throughout the day ay may mga tumawid sa aming bubungan patungo sa second floor na’yon. Walang nakasisiguro kung hanggang kailan bubuhos ang ulan. Paano kung abutin pa sila ru’n, at kailangan na nilang umakyat sa bubong? Paano na?

Kuwento ni Dad hindi na raw siya masyadong nagkikikilos nu’n. Nararamdaman na niyang hihikain siya pero dahil walang kuryente ay hindi siya makapag-Nebulizer. Naalala raw niya nu’ng maliit pa lang siya sa Albay, madalas din daw takbuhan ang bahay nila tuwing may bagyo pero pati raw sila ay napalisan nang humagupit si Bagyong Frank. Inintrega na raw niya isa-isa ang mga ari-arian naming nasalanta, ang bahay, ang kotse, ang mga muwebeles, ang mga appliance, ang mga litrato, ang mga paintings niya, ang mga alaala sa tahanang ipinundar niya para sa asawa niya, apat na anak, at mga apo… Ni-let go na raw niya at tinanggap na wala na ang mga ito.

Pagsapit ng gabi ay tumahik na nang bahagya si Ondoy pero WALA NI ISA SA ATIN NU’N ANG TUMAHIK ANG KALOOBAN.

Kinaumagahan, milagrong jumakpot ang pinag-iwanan ng mga sasakyan. Ang isa sa mga una nilang ginawa ay naghanap ng gas station para makisaksak ng Nebulizer. Salamat sa Diyos. Nakapunta na rin kami ni Haydee ng GMA. Tumuloy muna siya sa kuya niya sa may Scout Area, dumiretso naman ako sa studio ng SOP na bagama’t puno ng mga the usual artistas at staff ay tila nangangapa pa rin sa gitna ng kawasakan. Baha pa rin ang lahat ng entry points sa Marikina kaya minabuti ko na lang manatili sa GMA. Naging special Ondoy telethon ang SOP. At mula roon hanggang sa Showbiz Central ay nagsulat ako para sa telethon. Mga hotline numbers, panawagan ng tulong, anunsyo’t advisory ang isinulat ko mula umaga hanggang alas-sais ng gabi. Mga pagmamakaawa ng bahay-ampunang puno ng mga nagugutom na ulila, mga pamilyang hindi madala sa ospital o punerarya ang kanilang mahal sa buhay, mga kuwentong itinatawag lang pero sa sobrang hapdi ay napapaluha si Miriam Quiambao, isa sa mga artistang volunteer operators. Napakabigat isulat sa idiot boards, lalo’t hindi lahat ay maisahihimpapawid. Marami sa mga kapwa ko staff ng telethon na’yun ay biktima rin, at may mga pamilyang patuloy na stranded sa Marikina, Pasig, at iba pang apektadong lugar.

May isa kaming matandang kapitbahay na yumao sa stress ng pag-e-evacuate. Kakaiba rin ito dahil walang piniling mayaman o mahirap ang Ondoy. Si Cristine Reyes kinailangang i-rescue sa bubungan sa Provident Village. Ngayon may mga kuwento na ng mga misteryosong matatandang babaeng gumagala raw roon, o ng mga basa o putikang taong papara ng traysikel ngunit biglang mawawala. Sa aking alma mater, Marist School, may isang mag-aaral na nalunod kapatid mismong sa loob ng bahay nila. Maraming nawalan ng gamit pang-eskuwela at kinailangan daw ng pagpoproseso sa pangyayari upang ma-address ang anumang trauma ng mga nabiktima. Kuwento pa ni Mrs. Tabil, ang aking Filipino/Drama teacher noon, kinailangan pa raw ituro na paminsan silang sanay mag-abot ng tulong ay ok lang naman humingi ng tulong kasi nga raw ang iba ay nahihiya pang tumanggap ng extra uniform o gamit sa mga kaklase. Ang mga batchmates kong nasa States na nakibalita nasabihan kong iba ‘to sa mga insidente noon ng baha sa Marikina dahil hindi na lang ang mga housing sa may ilog ang naapektuhan...

***

Kinabukasan ay nawala nang tuluyan ang baha. Nag-drive ako sa putikan at debris upang marating ang bahay naming napuno ng basura at burak na sa sobrang dumi ay na-infect ang mga mumunting cuts namin sa kamay at paa nu’ng naglilinis kami. Kinailangan pa ng mga kuya ko na magpa-tetanus shots nang sobrang nang namaga ang kanilang paa.

Parang apocalyptic Hollywood movie ang nadaanan ko. nagkalat ang mga gamit sa kalsada, ang kapal ng putik, sira-sira ang mga bahay, may mga putikan at sirang sasakyang nakahambalang kung saan, kabilang ang isang puting Fortuner na halos patayo’t nakasandal sa isang poste. Pero hindi ganu’n ka-desolate ang eksena dahil nakikita mo ang mga tao na nagtutulungan sa paglilinis. May nakita pa’kong nagsasaing sa gatong sa sidewalk, at tila magkakapitbahay na nagsasalu-salo.

Ito nga siguro ang sinasabi nilang kakaibang attitude ng Pinoy. Kuwento ni Ogie Alcasid noong isang araw, na-compose raw niya ang “Kaya Natin ‘To,” ‘yung OPM fundraiser song for Ondoy victims nang napanood niya sa TV ang isang mamang dala-dala ang sako ng mga ari-arian niya habang lumulusong sa bahang chest-deep pero nakuha pang masabi sa camera ang katagang naging pamagat ng awiting ‘yun.

Nang finally tsinek na nga raw nila ang bahay, sa gitna ng destruction, nakuha pang maghiyawan sa galak nina Mommy dahil nasalba ang Orocan ng bigas na naisip nilang ipatong sa dining table bago silang tuluyang nag-abandon-house. Lumutang ang narra table, ha, pero hindi natinag ang Orocan! Walastik!

Na-survey rin namin ang nangyari sa mga kapitbahay naming halos pamilya na sa tagal ng pinagsamahan at dami ng pinagdaanan namin mula pa nu’ng 70’s. Isa sa mga aligagang naglilinis ng kanyang bahay si Tita Nitz. “Nitz! Kumusta ka?” tanong ng Mommy ko na sa pagka-obvious ng sagot ay puwedeng barahin ni Vice Ganda. Lumapit sa aming sasakyan ang dati’y palatawang si Tita Nitz, sinandal ang ulo sa bukas na passenger side window at nadurog ang puso ko sa bulong niyang, “Devastated…Devastated.”

Gray-gray na ang buhok ni Tita Nitz na ninang pa sa binyag ng aming bunso na ngayo’y may anak na rin. Tahimik kaming nakinig. “Lahat putikan… ang mga libro… pati PANTY KO PUTIKAN!” And she bursts out laughing! “WALA NA’KONG PANTY HAHAHAH!” Ano pa ba’ng gagawin naming kundi tumawa, ‘di ba? Iba talaga ang Pilipino, no?

Coming Home from Tokyo or Why I Will Never Fly CebuFuck Ever Again!

2010-09-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

Around the time that the Gokongweis thought it’s about time everyone flies Cebu Pacific, I did fly Cebu Pacific. And what we thought were ridiculously low fares immediately got us online booking the next flight to wherever, with whoever, whenever; it even got us clicking those tiny boxes allowing them to bombard our emails with sales pitches of “major, major discounts!” So kahit may isang taon ko na ring idiniklarang I WILL NEVER FLY CEBU PACIFIC patuloy pa rin akong nakatatanggap ng mga kung anu-ano sa kanila.

Dear Cebu Pacific: Please stop sending me any advertorial because it will be futile, and I think it is my responsibility to my fellow consumers na hindi pa enlightened sa inyong nakakabuwisit na business practices na malaman ang kuwento ko. In the end, they can still choose you over others, and by then sana, mas maayus-ayos na kayo.

Nasemento na lang ang aking resolve du’n sa balitang pinababa n’yo ang isang grupong may kasamang may Down Syndrome. Nag-apologize kayo all after all the negative press but the fact that your policy allowed that to happen in the first place is very telling of what kind of airline you are, at parang ayoko yatang ipaubaya sa inyo ang buhay ko everytime I fly.

More than what I heard in the news, may mga personal testimonies din akong pinanghahawakan kung bakit I WILL NEVER FLY CEBU PACIFIC. Just last summer my co-writers and I went on a vacation to Hong Kong. Ako nagbayad ng slightly more expensive airfare sa Philippine Airlines. Sila, pinatos ang Clark-HK promo ninyo. If I recall, the existence of this promo is what urged them to plan this vacation at isinabit na lang nila ako. Trip nilang mag-Disneyland, ayoko naman base na rin sa mga nabasa kong reviews (see, it pays to believe some credible reviews) so they planned to visit Disneyland on the one day ahead na naandu’n na sila sa Hong Kong at nasa Maynila pa’ko to finish some business.

Maaga silang lumarga mula Maynila papuntang Clark to catch their morning flight. Pagdating du’n, postponed ang flight...TO THAT AFTERNOON…SA MAYNILA! Sayang ang isang araw! Ire-refund ba sila in case they just opt to get another flight tutal naandun na sila? Siyempre hindi kasi nga promo! Binigyan man lang ba sila ng meal stubs for their waiting time for the previously unannounced new flight schedule? Hindi rin! At siguro alam n’yo na ang sagot sa tanong kung binigyan ba sila ng transpo o pamasahe man lang pabalik ng Maynila to catch that letcheng promo flight to HK?!

Ang ending, isang overnight lang halos ang advance nila sa’kin. Pagdating kong fresh na fresh kinaumagahan, kinailangan pa naming magpunta sa Disneyland…at hindi rin sila gaanong natuwa hahaha.

Nangyari na rin dating dumating kami sa airport tapos nakaalis na pala ang CebuPac, hindi man lang kami nasabihan na minuv nila earlier ang flight. Business trip 'yun, ha. Kung corporate account balahura pa rin ang service, magtataka ka pa ba kung basura ang trato nila sa mga promo fliers?

The last straw happened August 2009 when I was going to compete at the Ironman70.3 in Camsur. Ewan ko ba’t CebuPac ang na-book ko for me and my parents kahit hindi naman sila sponsor ng race. Nagbayad pa’ko ng advance fee for excess baggage na hindi ko rin naman nagamit since pinasabay ko na lang sa mga nag-land travel ang bike ko.

Morning of the flight, buong pamilya ko yata ang naghatid sa’min so believing na may time pa, pinag-McDo ko muna sa tapat ng T3 ang mga pamangkin ko. Eh ang haba-haba pala ng pila sa airport sa labas pa lang, true enough, FIVE MINUTES NANG SARADO ANG CHECK-IN COUNTER NG CEBUPAC to Naga. Bukod sa’kin at mga retired kong magulang, may isa pang mag-asawa na nasarhan ng counter. CebuPac said so themselves na five minutes ago pa lang sarado ang counter nila and yet they wouldn’t accommodate us anymore kasi na-print na raw ang manifesto and all.

I was almost in tears kasi nakaka-frustrate so I pleaded to the young lady behind the CebuPac counter if she can make some calls to anyone who might be able to help us. She only shook her head and "assured" me na ganu’n din lang po ang sasabihin sa’kin. I asked if the plane is still there. They said yes the plane’s still there but the “manifesto of passengers has already been printed” and they could not accommodate us anymore. By this time I have sorta accepted the fact that we will miss this flight, but I just wanted to feel that this company that declares to care for “every Juan” is the real deal yet the lady wouldn’t even so much as make a call to a fictitious superior to at least give me the impression that they value me as a client.

I ended up getting my parents tickets for tomorrow, and since I wasn’t thinking clearly, siyempre sa CebuPac ko pa rin sila pinalipad! That will be the last thousands of pesos that I will ever spend on Cebu Pacific. I booked na lang a later flight with another airline since I needed to be in CamSur that day already.

Now you might say may point nga naman ang Cebu Pacific policy. Late is late, ika nga. And them opening their doors to accommodate us would be against air safety and all. I though so, too. Until I experienced a rather different treatment from foreigners, in an international carrier, on an international flight, in another country.

Japan’s expansive Narita Airport is 66km away from Tokyo, parang layo ng Clark sa Maynila, and yet mas madali pa itong puntahan kesa sa NAIA na nasa Pasay lang. Meron kasing tren. Ewan ko ba, sa dami ng OFW’s na tinatawag nating bagong bayani, nananatiling inaccessible sa ordinaryong Pinoy at OFW ang ating mga airport. ‘Di mo lang kailangan ng kotse, kailangan mo pa ng driver! Ganitung-ganito rin ang description ni Carlos Celdran sa disenyo ng Cultural Center of the Philippines, ang aniya’y “Imelda’s first betrayal of the Filipino People.”

Bilang nagpaiwan sa Japan, mag-isa na lang akong umuwi nu'n. Sa unang istasyon pa lang sa Kinshicho para na’kong ignoranteng hindi alam kung saan bibili ng Airport Express ticket. Hindi rin kami magkaintindihan ng Hapon sa counter. I stood there before the ticket-vending machine, delaying everyone behind me in line, so I decided to do the high-tech route and pressed the big HELP button. Gumuho ang ultra-high-tech impression ko sa Japan nang may bumukas na maliit na puwang sa machine at sumilip ang parehong Hapon na pinagtanungan ko kanina sa counter. Kausap ko ang tao sa loob ng machine! Hi-tech. lumabas siya sa isang maliit na pinto sa tabi ng machine at siya na ang pumindut-pindot para makabili na’ko ng ticket papuntang airport.

Hindi yata airport express ang nasakyan ko kaya may mga dinadaanan pa rin itong suburbs sa labas ng lungsod. Makikita mo kung sino ang mga papuntang airport dahil meron silang dalang malalaking bagahe, tulad ko. I was constantly checking my ticket kung saan naka-print ang ruta ng tren to see na I’m right on track, then at one station, most everyone got off the train. My instincts told me to follow the crowd pero natakot ako so I stayed, and sat down. Parang ako nga lang natira, at may mga bago nang pasaherong sumakay. True enough, umandar ang tren PABALIK NG TOKYO! Sinubukan kong ikubli ang panalalaki ng aking mata sa panic (if that is possible). I coolly got off the next station.

Sa istasyon nagtanong ako sa isang stall na binabantayan ng dalawang older mommies kung saang riles dadaan ang tren papuntang Narita. Nainintidihan naman nila ang English ko’t naituro kung alin sa dalawang riles ako dapat mag-abang. Pero kaaalis lang daw ng tren papuntang airport kaya medyo may paghihintay. Nanganganib na’ko sa flight ko, pero wala pa rin akong gaanong pangamba. Kuwento ng mga Pilipinong nakilala ko sa Japan, hindi naman kailangang two hours before the flight ka nasa airport tulad ng advise sa NAIA. Bumili ako ng “hatto” (hot) coffee-in-can sa mga mommies. Isa ‘to sa fascinating vendo merchandise sa halagang 60 pesos.

May mga nakasabay rin akong Japanese high schoolers. For a while I considered approaching one guy who is about my size to offer to buy his signature blue-with-gold-buttons-and-school-patch blazer but hiya got over me. Na-assure naman akong ito nga ang tren papuntang airport dahil may kasabay akong dalawang seksing Haponesa na furry-furry ang kuwelyo ng jackets at may hila-hilang putting Hello Kitty hardcase. Bago dumating ang tren ko, dumaan pa ang mas sleek na Narita Express, ‘yung non-stop na bibiyahe mula Tokyo hanggang airport.

Sa tren may mga video instructions na on how to navigate Narita. Siguraduhin mong tamang side ng tren ka bababa ayon sa kung ano’ng airline mo. Japan Airlines ay sa kanan. PAL ay nasa kabila. Para akong pumasok sa Gattaca pagbaba ko ng tren! Ang laki-laki-laki at ganda-ganda-ganda pala ng Narita Airport! Medyo malayong lakaran din pero hindi naman mahirap hanapin ang check-in counter. Efficient din ang sistema nila kaya agad akong nakalapit sa counter where I immediately declared to the female Japanese ground staff na, “I took the wrong train. Will I still make this flight?”

With a smile and a proud tone she said, “We will make you make this flight.” She made a quick phone call presumably to inform the others that there’s this late Filipino guy trying to catch his plane. The lady wrote something on a sticker and put it on my left shirtsleeve. She endorsed me to another ground staff, a petite Japanese woman in that classic hat-scarf-skirt-pumps stewardess uniform. With a slight bow she softly commanded, “Please follow me.” And she ran! In heels!

A ran after her. She led me to the x-ray machine where a platoon of flight attendants were unloading their luggage. She talked to them in Japanese and they all stood aside and let my dirty, blue North Face backpack first. They had to repeat the process, this time without my laptop in the bag. Once through, we ran some more.

Without stopping, she asked for my ticket, I handed it to her, she checked my flight details and determined which monorail to take. “Get on that train.” I followed her. Only then did we stop running. I asked, “How do I know which gate?” “When you get off the train, you will see the sign to Gate 9,” and the monorail train closed and through the glass door I saw her bow the monorail away. She bowed!!!

I found my gate easily, and passengers were already boarding when I got there. I approached another JAPAN AIRLINES staff in a blue shirt and slacks, “Did I make the flight?” “Yes, you’re just in time.” And with that she removed the sticker on my sleeve.

Delightful Despicable Me

2010-09-12T22:03:00.001-07:00

1. Saw it with a 3D-movie virgin! Cute! Turned out virgin din in that way. Cuter! (pero trickier)

2. The rollercoaster scene makes "Despicable Me" the movie that best harnesses the 3D technology potential, and I'm including Avatar in this qualification, ha! You would feel that paglulula thrill that gets you to tighten your buns as you reel for the zero-gravity drop!

3. Maganda rin ang paglalaro sa 3D tech sa closing credits montage.

4. Gru, the main character, started out as a metaphor for evil corporations. So the twist of his Minions (e.i. thousands of employees) contributed what little they each have just so they could build a rocketship to steal the moon when the bank refused to lend them money for it. Justification of the government bail-out?

5. I was the only one in that Eastwood Cinema to have laughed out loud at this scene, a sign that reads: "Bank of Evil (formerly Lehman Brothers)."

6. Why do I have the disconcerting feeling that the Minions, those little, yellow, uniformly dressed, karaoke-loving, gets into petty squabbles, loyal, would do anything the boss says, gets sad when asked to sleep but rejoices at working, is a metaphor for the OFW existence?

7. May mga parts na muntik na'kong naiyak. Pero mas nakakaiyak talaga pa rin 'yung Up.

The Secret

2010-09-03T23:34:00.001-07:00

FAILURE OF APPLICATION. Lara has nonchalantly mentioned to me around the second week of the application that the applicants haven’t been showing up in so the members might just dissolve them. I shrugged it off. I wasn’t active in this application so I cannot pass judgment but if the applicants haven’t been showing up, and there are already talks of dissolving them then might as well, ‘di ba?

Around the third week of application, only two applicants are left. Neither one has been diligently showing up, but are also not showing signs of wanting to quit. IVP puts the decision to dissolve them to a vote by the body. Before that vote, most recent IVP Dina Luna spoke to the body and says, “If it were up to me, I will not dissolve them.” Membership agrees with her, votes not to dissolve the applicants. IVP gives an ultimatum, if the applicants still do not show up the next day, they will be dissolved. But I think IVP failed to strongly express this ultimatum, or at least get the body’s consensus to honor this ultimatum at that meeting.

Applicants do not show up the next morning. Some believe the 7 AM calltime may have been unfairly early for the two. One had class during that time so the other wouldn’t come if the other wasn’t present. That afternoon “sinundo ang mga aplikante.” A semblance of an application is pursued, but then applicant/s say something which pisses IVP off, prompting her to dissolve them. She supposedly said, “Assers, alam ko may usapan tayo pero…” It seems president wasn’t present when this happened.

Incident reaches president. He texts members and applicants, but not the IVP, that there is something wrong with IVP’s decision, and invites applicants back. Naturally, fight between President and IVP ensues. Alumni whose advise was sought by both parties include Lara who was vacationing from Japan so was very visible to the residents. Calls were also fielded to and by Erica to both President and IVP because she was with Lara and I and a few more Assers on the way to the beach.

President calls for a meeting that night, Friday before the scheduled Finals.

At that meeting, President and IVP agreed to uphold the dissolution. Bob says that in his conversations with President, they have not discussed what happened at that meeting that convinced the President to reverse his contention of the IVP dissolving the applicants. But this is pretty much how this grave problem transpired and was resolved among the residents, with hardly alumni intervention.

Bob called up last Wednesday and I was able to get his point-of-view of this incident that we are still trying to piece together, thus it is with confidence that I mention him in this post Bob only requested that he gets to read my account of our phone conversation before uploading it for all of you to read. However, while Bob was able to intelligently guess that I was taking down notes while on the phone with him, it was more for my visualization of how events transpired, and not so much to write down minutes of that conversation kaya do not treat this account as mere minutes of my talk with Bob, but rather a more complete story of Dear Ken with more info from Bob, Al, and Cheryl.

THE UP-AYALA TECHNOHUB MEETING. Of course news that the applicants being dissolved would spread fast. Friday morning pa lang nakikibalita na si Bob kay Faith Recile, the Memcom Officer assigned to textbrig him, kaya nabalitaan na niyang baka nga hindi matuloy. Bob is concerned because he has been fairly active in this application. He was present at the Acquaintance Party, and he was among the speakers at the Orientation so may there is some concern on his part na siya nga naman ang nag-encourage sa mga ‘to na sumali tapos ganito, madi-dissolve Friday before the Finals.

News reached Ianco who told Setset through Facebook chat. Setset asks Bob to see what’s going on. Bob calls up Al Saturday night asking kung tuloy ba ang Finals. Al was thinking, “Uh-oh! Nagfi-fish lang ba si Bob o alam na niya? Turns out alam na niya.” Bob invites Al to meet at UP-Ayala Technohub. This was around 10 PM already. Al picks up Cheryl along the way because she is former IVP, too, and “nag-e-emote siya sa Facebook status niya kaya sinama ko na rin siya.” Faith Recile and Andrew Valdez joins them. “It was basically a Joyce-bashing session,” is how Cheryl described the discussion. Al and Cheryl declare – and I believe so – that no conspiracy among them was cooked up at that controversial meeting.

Bob did say that it was at this UP-Ayala Technohub meeting that he questioned the validity of a dissolution at this point in when the applicants have been declared Assers at the deliberations. Bashing the IVP’s moves, discussing the ambiguous aspects of our beautiful application process are all valid talkpoints, in my opinion, but when I asked whether Faith, the only resident member present there, and a Memcom Officer at that, mentioned what I think is a crucial fact that the President and IVP both agreed to dissolve the applicants the night before, Bob told me over the phone that “that is new information.”

I was surprised! I’ve always felt that the reason why this issue has dragged on and on is because some parties did not find peace in the President-IVP agreement to dissolve the applicants. Now, instead of us discussing the whole thing on a theoretical/academic level, we have faced and are facing dire/real consequences – Chito has resigned, the advisers are at odds with the residents, the org’s recognition is in danger, and the IVP has been asked to resign.

Hanggang ngayon sana Joyce-bashing na lang ang ginagawa natin at ‘yun na lang ang problema natin. Bob then asks me a theoretical question: Rey, if you are a fairly new member and you see the president and IVP fighting and they reach an agreement and you are troubled with their decision, could you not talk to some alumni that you have “access to”? I replied, I would by all means talk to some alumni I have access to if I have questions, but I would tell them everything, including the fact that the president and IVP have agreed to dissolve the applicants. Bob then said that’s you, that’s what you and even I would have done pero iba-iba tayo, eh. I was still baffled whether there was some deliberate act on Faith’s part to withhold such important information in a meeting with important alumni members, when Bob said that in hindsight but he cannot recall with certainty, Faith may have mentioned that the president-IVP agreement.

TALKING TO RAFFY. The night before Bob called me up, Erica set a meeting with Raffy Barreiro. I tagged along. Inuman lang siya sa Ang Pulo, Ortigas Home Depot. Galing badminton si Raffy at nasa kabilang table nag-iinuman din ang ilang jocks at kasamahan niya sa RX. I sense a certain dismissal on Raffy’s part that I admire. Kumbaga, sana dumating din ako sa panahong ganyan na ini-involve ako sa usapang Broad Ass pero hindi na’ko ganu’n ka-emotional about it. Inuman lang siya. Sabi nga ni Raffy he actually enjoyed. Naman!

When I mentioned that I can help him with Ma’am Rose, he said, “Kaya mo na’yan!” So sige.

Meron din siyang kakaibang insight sa ginawang pagpapa-resign ni Chito kay IVP. While it was mostly deemed a pagdi-diva na kailangan na lang nating sundin para lang magka-adviser tayo, Chito may have also been “thinking org” because in case the dissolved applicants or the Office of Student Affairs (now headed by staunch Broad Ass critic Ma’am Betsy Enriquez) questions us on the botched application we can say that we recognized the mistake and in fact asked the IVP, the one assigned to handle the application, to resign. Parang protection na rin. Raffy even said Chito doesn’t even have to explain this to us para mas foolproof ‘yung argument natin in case the need for it arises. Galing, no?

He agrees to host a meeting with concerned alumni and residents to finally iron out some details about the whole thing dahil ang statement nga naming ni Erica sa kanya, ang “weird-weird” lang.

THE LEGEND OF SETSET. Napunta ‘yung usapan sa legend na new member pa lang ako eh naririnig ko na: ‘yung time na pinauwi si Setset during the Finals ang isang aplikante. Nagalit ang mga alumni dahil dito pero matapang na hinarap nina Setset at Bob ang mga alumni. Setset and Bob resigned as a result.

1. Almost two decades after, Setset tearfully talked about this incident at the alumni meeting last August 27, ganu’n ka highly-charged ang pangyayaring ‘yun, but at the same time, her biggest bashers then, like Jan, became her closest amigas up until now.

2. Alumni then were close or became close to that rejected-at-the-Finals applicants. A damage-control envoy was sent (Raffy recalls this must be Jan Arceo) to that reject to make sure she wouldn’t bad-mouth the org. Despire the alumni’s opposition, though, perhaps the concept of having a special finals were just too preposterous to them that it was never considered. The most was a more careful handling in case she decides to apply again. Special Finals was not considered then to an applicant who, by the power of the second deliberation, is essentially an Asser, and that her being sent home during the Finals was as Raffy said “chalked up as a mistake. That was a mistake.”

3. Raffy speculates that Bob sees an opportunity to correct that mistake in this recent situation.

SPECIAL FINALS. During the 90’s wala rin namang time na pinag-usapan ang Special Finals, though, napakadugo ng mga Deliberations namin dahil nga that will spell the difference kung magiging Asser o hindi ba ang isang aplikante. Ang una kong delibs, nag-hyperventilate pa ang president. Talagang nag-aaway at nagdedebate ang mga miyembro, kung ma-reject, sasabihan pa nga ang aplikante the next day, right before the Second Interview, na rejected na siya.

When I was IVP I even set rules sa order ng pagbibigay ng grades such that the highest ranking officers reveal their grades last so they can somehow affect the grade average of the applicant, which are rounded off to the nearest thousandths!

Sa 2000’s na lang yata nauso ang Special Finals-Special Finals na ‘yan. They’ve had it a few times already, but the only one I’m sure of is that of one female member whose name eludes me right now na pinag-Special Finals one week after her batchmates niya kasi raw nasaksak ang brother niya kaya kinailangan niyang umuwi sa probinsiya. I told this member that she is lucky dahil kung ako ang IVP niya hindi ko pa rin siya bibigyan ng Special Finals unless siya ‘yung doktor na kailangang gumamot sa kuya niya. I mean, my brother got married during my application and I was not able to attend! Some softer-hearted parties say at least her excuse was more valid than the two applicants’ na pinag-uusapan ngayon. DIYOS KO, SA HABA-HABA NG MGA PINAGSUSULAT KO, PUWEDE BA NATING TANDAAN ULIT NA DALAWANG WALANG KUWENTANG APLIKANTE ANG PINAGMUMULAN NG LAHAT NG ‘TO? GRABE!

Andrew Valdez once asked for Special Finals for an applicant because the applicant was asked to quit by his parents on the Friday before the Finals, at the whole time daw na pinagfa-finals ‘yung ibang applicants, nagmumukmok lang sa isang sulok si Andrew. Hindi ko alam kung presidente na siya nito. Hindi naman yata na-grant ang request niya. Incidentally, ang ganitong clinginess raw sa aplikante ang isang rason kung bakit hindi nanalong IVP si Andrew against a weaker candidate then, Edward, at kung bakit sa ilang attempt daw na mag-Memcom ni Habs eh hindi rin siya nananalo. Binoboto na lang silang presidente eventually, where hopefully they will be too busy with more pertinent matters aside from the application.

But to be fair to Andrew, he had the decency to ask the body for Special Finals at nu’ng napagdesisyunan, narespeto rin niya ‘yun kahit salungat sa gusto niya. Ewan ko na lang kung saan nakuha ng residente nu’n ang wisdom na ‘wag nang magbigay ng Special Finals kahit pa, technically, Asser na’yun kasi na-delibs na siya.

I am not sure if it is Special Finals per se that divides us now because as you all know kahit kami na ayaw sa Special Finals eh biglang nagkandarapa sa pag-organize nito nang narinig na nmin ang punto ni Chito at the infamous Bahay ng Alumni meeting. Ang difference lang talaga kasi ngayon ay ang gulatan, and true enough Habs and Bob were well aware of the possibility of a Special Finals almost a week before it was officially announced.

“KUNG PASOK, PASOK.” “Kung pasok, pasok,” ‘yan ang in-emphasize daw ni Bob kay Habs. Nililinaw niya na hindi sa kanya galing ang ideya ng Special Finals, at ang tanging kinakausap lang niya nu’ng week na ‘yun ay si Habs. “I was asking him to be the president. To be president for the org.” As I said nga naman in ‘Dear Ken,’ Bob called me that Friday I was driving to UP to question the president on the Special Finals and he said, “I am with you here. Ayoko rin ng Special Finals.” But it is the residents’ decision nga naman, something about what transpired at their meeting with Chito.
At this point, while writing this, nalilito na ulit ako kasi I remember asking Bob again in our most recent conversation whether he was for Special Finals or not. “Are you asking for a categorical answer… I neither encouraged nor discouraged it.” Nakalimutan ko na lang du’n tanungin what he meant pala when he told me na ayaw rin niya ng Special Finals, oh well…

Anyway, Bob also said that he was advising the residents to talk to Chito already Monday pa lang. Hindi ko lang din nalinaw kung ano ‘yung magiging agenda ng pag-uusap na’yun. Parang hindi naman advise kung paano magmu-move on ang residents sa pag-aaway ng President at IVP, at parang hindi naman para makapag-isip ng safeguards in case the two dissolved applicants pursue a case against the org. I just remember Bob mentioning his advice when I lamented that Chito’s take on the matter of dissolution was asked way too late, and presumably with the feeling of not finding peace with the president-IVP agreement, while exploring the possibility of Special Finals.
Whatever the point is of Bob asking Habs to talk to Chito Monday pa lang (the day after the scheduled Finals, two days after their Ayala Technohub meeting), hindi naman nakausap si Chito.

GULATAN. Up until this point, ang pinakamatatandang alumni na may take rito ay si Bob, si Ronnie, si Al, ako… Bakit biglang Friday night before the Special Finals lang kami nasabihan nito eh we have been very much involved in this case. Bob cautions me over the phone na wala rin naman silang responsibilidad to inform us kasi nga it is a matter among residents. True, I said, pero ang daming opportunities to tell us.

Habs admitted na Monday pa lang iniisip na nilang mag-Special Finals, sana pala nu’ng Wednesday sa Shakey’s Katipunan ay na-bring-up na nila ‘yun para na-address. I think we’ve proven naman na hindi kami ganu’n katigas ng ulo, nu’ng napaliwanagan nga kami ni Chito eh biglang naging for Special Finals na nga kami, ‘di ba? Thursday pa lang, according to Habs, napagdesisyunan na nilang mag-Special Finals, pero talagang the next day, gabi, bago kami tinext, kung kailan Saturday na ang Special Finals.

I was telling Bob na had they informed the alumni nu’ng Monday pa lang na iniisip na nilang mag-Special Finals, baka napag-usapan pa nang maayos, baka hindi pa gumulo nang ganito. Eh, kaso iniisip namin nag-agree na president at IVP na i-dissolve so nag-focus na lang sa pagmu-move ang alumni, we were kumbaga tackling a different problem kasi ang buong akala natin ok na sila, ‘yung naging paksyun-paskyon na lang among residents ang kailangang ayusin ngayon. That’s when Bob remembers something:

THE SECRET. Even without consulting Chito, Habs devises a plan. He want to hold Special Finals. He tells confides this Bob. Bob agrees but Habs must be the one to tell the alumni.
Bob does not regret agreeing to keep that a secret even when I said that that is the point when our communication lines broke down, because something was withheld from everybody.

Bob admits, though, that his only mistake was giving Habs too much credit as president, he thought Habs would keep his end of the bargain.

So, knowing that the president – and in essence the residents - even without talking to the Faculty Adviser, were thinking of holding Special Finals for the two dissolved applicants, Bob attends the meeting of alumni at Shakey’s Morato that night. Bob spearheads the discussion in finding that one voice we will have when we face the residents two days hence. MOVING ON. ‘Yan ang napag-agree-hang “one voice.”

ONE VOICE. Bob continually pressures Habs to inform alumni about their plans of Special Finals. Tuesday passes, Wednesday at Shakey’s Katipunan meeting ensues and ends. We don’t hear from Habs.

Sa Shakey’s Katipunan, movin on ang tema. The end.
Nag-move on sa McDo Katipunan sina Bob and the residents after the rest of the alumni have left. Hanggang 3AM sila ru’n.

Habs in this meeting daw brought up the “maghahabla si Chito” angle. When I asked how Habs knew this when they haven’t talked to him yet, Bob says Habs and Chito are close and this might have come up in some other way.

It is also at this moved-to-McDo meeting that the Special Finals was brought up. Bob gave them two pieces of advice: 1) To immediately talk to Chito and 2) To make sure the applicants, after one week of being regular people again, are still willing to go through it.
Finally, Thursday, residents get to talk to Chito who encourages them to induct the two applicants. Habs, however, when justifying the Special Finals to me, to Bob, and to who else I don’t know, claims that Chito threatened to sue them in the SDT (Student Disciplinary Tribunal?) if Special Finals are not held for the apps, one of whom is Chito’s recruit.

UNFAIR. I told Bob, when at McDo they mentioned the Special Finals, and he gave them two steps to follow, shouldn’t he have also cautioned them that perhaps holding the special finals a week after the dissolution, a week after the original schedule, be not in the spirit of moving on that was the theme of the dialogue with the alumni awhile ago? I kinda feel kasi na kahit sila-sila na ‘yung nasa McDo at tapos na’yung Shakey’s Katipunan Moving On talks, that still holds bilang alumnus siya na nag-agree sa one voice ng alumni na napagkasunduan sa Shakey’s Timog.

Bob replies, if you are saying that I should’ve said that Special Finals now may not be in the spirit of moving, “I think, Rey, that is unfair to me… We were there talking about my application…” Inisa-isa nila ang points ng application ni Bob until 3 AM… “I think that’s moving on enough.”

End.

The Secret

2010-09-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

Pinindut-Pindot (sa japan)

2010-09-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

Pinindut-pindo namin ni Flow ang baby blue at baby pink na buttons sa inidoro pero walang nangyayari. Siyempre Japanese ang sulat so hindi rin namin alam kung para saan ‘yung mga pindutan. Nagmamadali akong lumabas para kunin ang hiniram ko kay Thea na digicam na noo’y nasa kama ko sa hotel room namin sa Hotel Tobu (sa Kinshico /KINS-CHO/ northeast of central Tokyo). Pagbalik ko sa banyo, nag-give-up na si Flow sa inidoro at ang mga mga buttons naman sa shower ang iniinspeksyon. Pinindot niya ‘yung isa. “O! Umilaw!”

“Gaga,” paliwanag ko, “flash ng camera ‘yun. Kinunan ko ‘yung inidoro.”

The Dean, the President, and the Ladder

2010-08-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

May nag-iwan ng upos ng sigarilyo sa isa sa mga tambayan kaya muntik na raw nasunog ang buong CMC! Bilang parusa sa mga orgs na naka-base du’n sa second floor, katabi ng UP-College of Mass Communication cafeteria – Broad Ass, Samaskom, ComResSoc, at JC – pina-lock ni Dean Luis Teodoro ang room na tambayan nila.

Hindi gaano affected and Assers dahil mas madalas naman kaming tumambay sa veranda, the most envied prime spot, kaya tuloy ang ligaya. Then a few days after, umaga ng isang Broad Ass event, na-realize naming nasa second floor ‘yung mga binili naming paper plates! Bilang mga living-on-a-student’s-allowance, ayoko nang bumili ng bago so instinctively ay kinuntsaba ko si Sheila, ang presidente ng Broad Ass, na akyatin na lang namin ‘yung tambayan. Alam kong merong isang bintanang sira kaya hindi ‘yun tuluyang nasasara. A simple plan.

Bilang may idea at Internal Vice-president, ako ang kumuha ng aluminun ladder na matagal ko nang nakikita sa may basement, papunta sa Film classrooms. Magaan lang naman so kaswal kong kinuha ‘yung ladder, dumaan sa mga Samaskomers na nakatambay sa ilalim ng skywalk at ipinuwesto ko na ang ladder sa may gilid ng building, ‘yung side facing the road, kung saan naroon ang sirang bintana. Tinawag ko si Sheila na nasa veranda para siya’ng humawak ng ladder. Ang tanda ko, mga hapon pa lang ‘to kaya nasa class pa ang karamihan sa Assers. Hindi naman namin ugali ni Sheila ang mag-utos, wala rin namang trabahong beneath us, basta para sa org, gagawin lahat, lalo ng top two officers.

Hinawakan ni Sheila ang ladder sa baba, umakyat na’ko.

Mula sa kanyang corner office sa first floor ay kinutuban na si Dean nang nakita ang petite at innocent-looking na presidente ng Broad Ass na may hawak-hawak na tila hagdanan sa tapat mismo ng binatana ng opisina niya.

Na-pry open ko na ang bahagya lamang nakasarang binata. Medyo effort kasi kinakalawang na ‘yung hinges. Maingat kong isinampa ang kanan kong binti para makapasok na’to sa tambayan. “Rey, Rey,” tawag ni Sheila sa kanyang signature calm tone. Napalingon ako pababa at ang nakita ko ay parang last frame sa Dennis the Menace strip: Guilty looking na bata na nakakagat pa sa kanyang isang dalirit, katapat ng isang nakapamewang na lolo.

Part 2

Everything happened in a haze. Being the president, I let Sheila handle the Dean so kuwento na lang niya ang soundbites na “I could have you suspended! I could have you EXPELLED!” Galit na galit daw. Graduating na kami ni Sheila nito, ha.

Naghihintay ako sa veranda. Nakaupong mag-isa sa bakal na bench, nakatingin sa malawak na field na ngayon ay hindi gumagana ang relaxing effect ng pagkaluntian nito. Lumabas si Sheila, mukhang harassed. OK na raw. Para lang nu’ng Broad Ass applicants kami four years ago, 1996 - ako ang Assistant Batch Representative, pero siya na pinakabata sa amin ang Batch Rep.

this happened 1995

2010-08-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

“Anong test number mo?”

Hindi ko na maalala kung ano ‘yung number na tinanong sa’kin, or kung si Mikee o si Luke ang nag-small talk nu’n para mapawi ang kaba namin. Basta ang malinaw sa’kin, kung paano gumapang ang nerbiyos mula paa hanggang sa tuktok ng ulo ko; ‘yung lamig ng sobrang kaba kapag hinanap na ng teacher ang over-the-weekend homework na naalala mo na ngayon pero misteryosong nabura sa utak mong gawin noong nakaraang Sabado’t Linggo. Patay! Kailangan ba’yung UPCAT card na’yun?

Nasa Ateneo na kami nu’n, buti maaga kaming nagkita-kita, pero still, uuwi pa’ko ngayon sa Marikina?! Habang pinag-iingatan kong 'wag pabiyakin ang aking boses dahil wala nang panahong umiyak, pinatabi ko na lang sa mommy ni Luke ang kotse para gawin ang walang choice pero dapat gawin. Siguro lutang na lang ako sa takot na mapapalampas ko ang pagkakataong makapag-aral sa paaralang pinagarap ko dahil sa isang simpleng-simpleng katangahan na hindi ko namalayan kung paano akong naglakad mula sa may Ateneo Gym pabalik ng Katipunan, sumakay ng jeep papuntang Concepcion, naglakad mula sa entrance ng Phase II hanggang sa bahay, kumatok, kinuha ‘yung lecheng card na hindi ko naman naisip na kailangang dalhin kaya sadya kong iniwan, naglakad muli papuntang entrance, sumakay ng Cubao jeep pabalik ng Katipunan, at doon pumila hanggang para sa jeep papasok ng UP. Grabe na ang trapik nu’n. Kaya mula sa may Ateneo Gym, oo, sa banda kung saan ako nagpababa kanina, ay nilakad ko na lang papuntang College of Business Ad. Mabuti’t nasa bungad lang ‘yun. At nakakilabot ang suwerte kong ang mga kukuha ng UPCAT sa mismong testing room ko na ang tinatawag pagkarating ko. Sina Luke at Mikee ay pawang sa mga private universities nagtapos.

I am the Secret-Keeper

2010-07-26T05:27:00.001-07:00

James and Lily’s safehouse is discovered when their friend and Secret-Keeper, Peter Pettigrew, betrayed them to Voldemort. In the Wizarding world, as in the Muggles’, a secret must be cautiously shared.

Skeeter examines the palm on my dominant right hand and correctly infers that I am basically on my first job, and that I am supposedly satisfied with and accomplished in it, then she predicts something that I find rather unlikely – that I will eventually shift to a completely unrelated career, and that I will be happier and probably richer there. This secret of the future, though taken lightly, intrigues me.

The night after, the “white secret” that my right ear is practically deaf is casually revealed to relatively newer dragonboat teammates. Trixie, like most people who discovers this for the first time, tests me by whispering to my right ear. I, of course, could only shake my head and put on a confused look. Encouraged, she became bolder with the things she whispers and started mouthing secrets. To her delight, I literally turned a deaf ear to everything she said. Perhaps it was the exhilarating relief when one unburdens a heart heavy with secret, or the freedom from fear of being judged outwardly or secretly that convinced Alyx, Yves, Tessa, and Chino to whisper to me their secrets, too. I have become the muggle Secret-Keeper.

By then we have resolved the dilemma on whether the Secret-Keeper should further indulge the Secret-Whisperer by reacting to the secret in the way the whisperer prefers. My initial apprehension with the idea because it might negate the exercise being founded on truth was erased when the whisperers told me that getting the desired reaction helps. When Tessa finally got over her initial fears that I am just feigning disability to extract their juiciest secrets, she asked me to tell her “Ang tanga-tanga mo” after she spills it out. I practiced infront of her to make sure I nail the tone and emotion that comes with me saying those words, and when she was satisfied, she tiptoed, and with her hands formed a tunnel from her mouth to my ear, and sent her secret directly to my right ear’s dead nerve-endings. Once done, I looked straight into her eyes and gathered what little thespic talents I have to come off wisely disagreeing while being helplessly supportive to something obviously big for her but totally unknown to me. “Ang tanga-tanga mo.” She practically throws her arms around me, and we hug tightly for a little while.

They ordered sympathy, disbelief, shock, encouragement. I never knew “OK lang ‘yan,” and “Weh!?” can be said in so many ways. Bryan says he has no secret worth whispering. Wish I were him. Laurie wanted to whisper something but couldn’t get over her doubts and fears, so I stopped her because the exercise might not be as liberating for her until she does. Klar opened my eyes to another aspect of this newfound ability, “I’ll whisper a secret about you… You’ll hear it if you’re meant to hear it,” then proceeded to whisper. I swear I never strained so hard before to catch a word but all my efforts were futile tears formed in my eyes. Klar sweetly assured me that that secret is a good thing; practicing what I encourage the whisperers to do, I let it go.

Someone whispered a tad too loudly his secret I heard it. Giving the requested reaction was more difficult than when I was just acting out on an unheard secret. The second time I reminded the whisperer to speak in a lower voice; unexpectedly hearing secrets, apparently, aren’t gonna be easy for me.

How I can make a rewarding career of Secret-Keeping baffles me, but if you’ve got a secret you just need to get off your chest without fear of judgment, you can try telling me, I guess. If that helps.

Desisyon

2010-07-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

Pinikap pala sa isang Philippine Star interview ang AM radio report na nasagap ko maka-ilang linggo na ang nakararaan. Tungkol iyon sa pahayag ni Romulo Neri, ang sinasabing fall guy sa ZTE Scam na yumanig pero hindi bumuwag bagkus ay lalong nagpakapal sa apog ng nakaraang conjugal na panggago ng administrasyong Gloria-Mike Arroyo, bago pa man siya tumangging maging state witness at naghain pa ng not guilty plea sa kasong isinampa sa kanya ng Ombudsman.

Tumagos ang sabi niyang, ayaw niyang maging martir tulad ng kanyang kaklase nu’ng high school na si Edgar Jopson. Here are two men who were practically sown on the same ground, but chose to grow towards very different suns. There must always be a struggle to make peace with how our seemingly personal decisions impact others.

Lalo kong naisip ang effect ng mga ganitong personal decisions habang pinapanood ang farewell episode ng Probe kanina. Two very close friends have the honor of being part of this distinguished news & current affairs group – my ka-Powerbarkada, Celery Aganon-Villamarin, who was Vice-president of Probe Productions, and my good friend from Broad Ass, Adrian Ayalin who was among the last batch of correspondents. They, and a host of other friends and colleagues who were once part of Probe can definitely claim that they have done significant work, something I have yet to be able to confidently declare even in my decade-long career writing for entertainment television, or as my best friend Vichael once put it, “contributing to the idiotization of the masses.” Na-o-offend ako sa mga birong ganu’n, sa totoo lang, aalma ako pero napapaisip pa rin kung ang trabahong nae-enjoy at ikinabobongga ko ay nane-negate ang efforts ng mga hinahangaan ko sa industriya? Kahit pa matagal ko nang na-realize na wala talaga akong personality for news, especially in Probe’s vehement stance against sensational journalism. Ako pa, na ‘di napigilang napa-“Yes!” kanina sa floor ng Showbiz Central nang ‘di napigilang ni Pia Guanio na maiyak habang nilalarawan ang rough patch na pinagdadaanan nila ni Bossing. (Ok, no Pia questions, please. Basahin n’yo sa pep.ph kung gusto n’yo!)

Siguro I have yet to truly make peace with how I am continually choosing to grow; umaasa na balang-araw matutupad din ang sinagot ko sa job interview nu’ng June 2000 kung saan tinanong ako ni Ma’am Wilma kung what I really want to be - “That someday what I do will be considered art.” Pero gustuhin ko man, hindi ko maituturing na art ang mga isinusulat kong scripts at binubuong concepts, lalong hindi ko matatawag ang sarili kong alagad ng sining. Ako ‘yung tipo ng taong isang taon yata ang lumipas sa trabahong ito bago naging komportable na tawagin man lang ang sarili na writer. Siguro inggit na rin ang pinag-uugatan ng pagkayamot ko sa mga taong makalikha lang nang kaunting “art” ay agad na ipapataw ang titulong artist sa kanilang ngalan.

Naging teacher ko si Ma’am Che-Che Lazaro sa Advanced TV Production nu’ng college. Every week, we were asked to produce a video. When a classmate submitted an interview with a streetkid, Ma’am Che-Che was so touched she wanted to organize an outreach program for the kid and his pals. May ilang genuine naman ang enthusiasm sa suggestion, at may ibang mukhang sumisipsip lang, pero ako and a female classmate ang talagang vocal na hindi kami keen sa idea. Ang statement namin, sasama kami kapag ‘yun ang napagdesisyon ng klase, pero kung kami ang tatanungin, ‘wag na lang. Hindi kasi ako komportable sa mga outreach-outreach na ganyan kahit na nu’ng sa Marist pa lang. Wala mang pormal na napagkasunduan ang klase, hindi na lang natuloy ang outreach.

Bising-busy na kami nu’n sa mga major subjects, at dahil elective lang ang kay Ma’am Che-Che, hindi ko siya gaanong priority. One time Sheila and I weren’t able to produce anything (dahil na rin mas priority ang Broad Ass kung saan siya nag presidente at ako ang bise.) So what we did was get an old Broad Ass music video na shinut noon pa, tapos nangatok ng editing house para lagyan ng graphics ang video. Dahil 1999 ito, hindi pa mabilis ang rendering so magdamagan ang simpleng pangdodoktor sa music video. Ang catch, kalbo ako sa video, eh, ang lagu-lago na ng hair ko nu’n, so nu’ng umaga, bago kami pumasok sa 8:30 AM class ni ma’am, nangatok naman kami ng parlor para magpakalbo. Walang electric clipper ang baklang nagising namin sa isang maliit na parlor sa Tandang Sora so pupungas-pungas pa niya akong ginupitan hanggang sa maging semikal ako na tulad ng sa videong ipapasa namin. Walang shampoo-han sa maliit na parlor sa nangangati-ngati pa’ko sa mga buhuk-buhok nang chinenes namin ni Sheila ang music video na shot using a “one-camera, proscenium stage treatment.” Natuwa naman si ma’am.

Ngayon, kesa matulad ako sa ilang TV reporters d’yan na daig pa ang mga papansing artista kung gumimik, eh, inabandona ko na ang path towards becoming a broadcast journalist, ‘di ba?

Isa pang ini-imbibe kong aral mula kay Thea nu’ng pababa kami galing Baguio ang “choose to be happy.” Kunsabagay. Ang pinakapaborito kong istorya ng Probe ay tungkol sa isang babaeng ni hindi ko maalala ang pangalan. Isa siyang art student, Pilipina, mas bata pa sa’kin. Umere ang kuwento niya during a severe emo phase of mine. May sub-titles pa yata ang interview niya dahil halos ‘di na maintindihan ang pagsasalita niyang apektado na ng isang matinding sakit sa utak. Hindi siya humihingi ng awa kaya nagde-design siya ng mga t-shirts para makalipon ng pera pang-opera. Tanong sa kanya, “Hindi ka ba nade-depress sa sinapit mo?”

“Hindi,” agad niyang sagot nang ngumingiwi-ngiwi pa ang mukha niya’t kumikislut-kislot ang mga kamay, “sinabi ko sa sarili kong bawal ma-depress.”

my will...so far

2010-07-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

Reminder: 'Wag mabahala. Nagiging pragmatic lang ako. Lahat tayo mamamatay, at least kapag nangyari may reference kayo.

MAIN CONCEPT:

Catholic Burial, please. Sana may songs na pang-YFC! (Anima Christi/ Lord I Offer My Life to You/ Fix My Eyes on Jesus) Celery, can you help here?

ELEMENTS:

Closed casket unless some people request viewing. I’d rather people remember me alive than my cadaver.

A simple wooden casket would do.

If possible, do not cremate me. Tao lang ang hayop na hinintay ni Lord na mamatay muna bago kainin ng ibang hayop, ayoko nang ipagkait ang katawan ko sa purpose na’yun.

In a large notebook, ask people to write down their funniest memories of me. Parang magiging isang Memoriam Jokebook of sorts.

Who knows how to make my Facebook account into a permanent memorial? May ganu’ng feature daw, eh.

Kung gagawa ng AVP, ‘wag nang malungkot na kanta, please. Patay na nga pampatay pa ‘yung scoring!

PROGRAMME:

Over-all in charge of program – Jaypee/ Dexter (para OC)

Host – Hmmm…ako kasi lagi nagho-host sa mga events ng friends ko so wala ako idea kung sino puwede…

Ito sana ang mag-deliver ng eulogy. In this order, ha.

1. HAYDEE BELLEN
2. TC
3. Person/ People from GMA kung may gusto
4. FRIENDS who’d like to volunteer (UPDT/ MOUNTAINEERS/ EXTRIBE/ TEAM PMI/ UP-CMC/
MARIST)

Please, as much as possible, i-pinpoint/ mag-volunteer na agad kung magsasalita para makapag-prepare ng speech, mahirap umadlib sa lamay!

Baka may ilang groups ding gagawa ng AVP, sabihin din agad

Kung meron akong nakaligtaan ng gusto magsalita, gumawa presentation, mag-perform, please just approach those in charge of program agad

Kung may kakanta, paki-research na lang ang favorite songs ko

5. ADRIAN AYALIN
6. Representative from BROAD ASS
7. VICHAEL ROARING
8. SHEILA
9. POWERBARKADA
10. Segue to song number from CINDY
11. Anyone (or more) among my BROTHERS AND SISTERS
12. PARTNER
13. DAVE-DAVE
14. MOMMY AND DADDY

ASSIGNMENTS:

Thea – please rid my condo of all porn before turning it over to my parents; ask help from Adrian, Vichael and future partner

Junie – please enact my will, make sure family and partner get all benefits from insurance, bank, etc.

Roy/ Kit – inform people down south for assistance on next item
Powerbarkada – you might have to tell my parents, see above item

Eartha – please fix claims from sunlife
Sheila – please track down my ayala life agent (mike z.) for claims
Sa claims kukunin ang panggastos sa libing

Can I be buried in your plot so I can be beside you forever, Mom and Dad?

IMPOSIBLENG walang GUWAPONG "person" para sa'kin!

2010-07-09T21:31:00.001-07:00

Noong unang panahon sa isang training climb, may isang aplikante ang nanghula sa’kin na isang taong mas bata at kakilala ko na ang magiging first boyfriend ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala nu’n kasi wala akong hilig sa mas bata, at mas lalo sa mga kakilala ko nu’n. Nang ‘di ko namamalayan, a couple of years after, naging first boyfriend ko nga ang isang mas batang friend of a friend.

Hindi ako naniniwala sa hula talaga. Magpahula man ako, it’s more out of novel curiosity, pero ngayon umaalingawngaw sa alaala ko ang isang interesting na hula. Mahahanap ko raw ang taong para sa’kin pero sa bandang dulo ng buhay ko na. So the day na maging happy ang lovelife ko, mag-draft na kayo ng eulogy n'yo for me!

Natutuwa nga ako sa konsepto ng 2012. Hindi ako nababahala kung sakaling gumunaw na nga ang mundo sa loob ng dalawang taon. Ang hiling ko lang, ma-publicize ito na animo’y may countdown pa. Pakiramdam ko kasi babaligtad ang mundo, magbabago ang mga patakaran kung paano natin patatakbuhin ang daigdig at ang mga buhay-buhay natin. Wala nang faraway future tayong paghahandaan. Hindi tayo mag-aaksaya ng panahong mag-aral ng kursong hindi naman natin gusto pero kinuha pa rin natin dahil ito ang in-demand abroad. Ni hindi tayo magtitiyaga sa isang nakakaburat na trabaho para lang may pambayad ng educational plan ng mga anak natin. Babagsak ang konsepto ng komersyo na pawang profit lang ang habol. Aanhin pa nga ba ang limpak-limpak na salapi kung mawa-wipe-out din naman tayong lahat in two years?

At kung tulad ng pelikula na merong major project para magsalba ng ilang taong maaatasang magsimula muli, hindi ko pipiliing mapabilang dito. OK na’ko blissfully living my life in a sort of tragically happy timebomb, isang buhay na wala nang masyadong consequences, wala nang fears of what every fucking decision will do to one’s future. Imagine, no one would have to put up with difficult people or circumstances because it’s “necessary.” No one, and nothing would be necessary. We would all just be one world of people trying to enjoy and make the most of our short time left in this world. Ma-achieve na nga natin ang utopia, pero ang irony ay ang mabilisan nitong pagwawakas.
A few months back, I uncharacteristically burdened my Mommy Monster with a gripe: “Hi, Ma! Sometimes I feel that my career is all I’ve got so though it gets too difficult at times, I persevere because if I quit I’ll have nothing.” But I immediately padded it with “but I’m OK, Ma. Don’t worry about me. Just work stress talking.”

Part of my Mommy Monster’s reply: “That’s why you are assured of our unconditional love no matter what.” My eyes almost teared up, but that sustained me through yet another magdamagang meeting.

Unconditional love. Such a vague concept for me. Even from my mommy. Don’t get me wrong, happy naman ang childhood ko. Siguro it’s a middle child thing. Ika nga ng character ni Marcia Gay Harden sa “Meet Joe Black,” nang mag-apologize dito ang amang si Anthony Hopkins for seemingly favoring her younger sister – “I felt loved.”
My dad is a professor, and has written books on logic. Artist din siya. Personality-wise, I may have gotten my mom’s energy, humor and carefree attitude; at my core is my dad’s calculating, rationale temperament. Kaya pati sa scripts importante sa’king things make sense, iikut-ikutin ko siya sa utak ko para dapat plantsado, logical ang succession ng cause and effect. Kaya naga-grasp ko rin ‘yung konsepto ng no shortcuts pagdating sa pagbi-build ng career o ng pagme-maintain ng personal and professional relationships. Unti-unti talaga ‘yan, titiyagain mo, take in the bad with the little good you see dahil sa huli it will pay off.

But love, it all seems so random to me. Just how many assholes have a seemingly perfect person unconditionally loving them? I’ve seen too many. And I…I have my Mommy Monster.

***

Pero ayoko nang maging nega. Iwawaksi ko na ang paniniwala kong I’m not good enough. Sabi nga ni Thea, imposibleng walang para sa’yo. IMPOSIBLENG wala para sa’yo. Ang galing, ‘di ba? Na-astound talaga nang unang sinambit sa’kin niya ‘yan on our way home from Baguio last week. Ganu’n ka-positive at trusting sa universe talaga? Ma-try nga!

My mom texted me a couple of weeks ago na she’s praying daw that I find that “person.” From a woman married 38 years to the same man with nary a major fight, cutesy tampuhan lang, and who claims that growing up she’d pray na makapangasawa raw siya ng guwapo, and now everytime she wakes up, she looks at my dad daw and gushes na ang guwapo ng napangasawa niya, mukhang promising. Sana nga lang guwapo ‘yung “person” na pinagdarasal niya for me!

Moments with my Dad

2010-06-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

1. You were me carrying on your shoulder. I’ve was clutching on to my filthy, beloved pillow. Sick for days, you took me to this small hospital in Marikina. I will stay there for a couple more days, my first hospitalization, I believe. A few months after being discharged I told mommy that I think my hearing in my right ear has become significantly weaker. In my pre-pubescent years, you took me to several hearing centers, and despite being already fitted for hearing aids, we decided to follow a doctor’s advice against it since it might only make me reliant on them, when I’ve already adapted to this impairment. Besides, I thought the world is just too noisy when I tried those damn hearing aids.

2. I was waiting for you in the car as I watch you and the principal talk at the covered walkway outside. After, you told me that she was asking you to tell mom to just take the rest of the year off from teaching even if she is due to arrive as scheduled from her first US visit. You told me how you asked the principal if she thought Eva was a good teacher, and when she replied yes, you said then she should be allowed to take over from the substitute teacher as soon as she arrives because that’s what she promised to do, and no substitute teacher should be given priority over a good, regular teacher. “If you know you’re right, you should fight for it,” you taught.

3. Moments before walking to the gymnasium where the grade school commencement exercise will be held, you put your arm around my shoulder and assured me that whatever happens later, whether I get that legion of honor medal or not, you are already OK with me. Days ago, I rushed to my room and cried my disappointment away when I said you I may not have been aggressive enough that’s why I would graduate with just one academic medal despite being a shoo-in for salutatorian for the past three years.

4. We exchanged no words throughout the drive from Marikina to Katipunan, to my first apartment. You just silently watched me take several trips to and from the car as I hauled my stuff from the trunk to Unit 13. Everything happened so fast. A few days ago, when I texted you that I was thinking of moving out, you and mom invited me to your room the next morning and talked to me. Well, you did the talking, mom was just silently re-applying make-up that keeps getting washed off with tears. You were pacing as you expressed yourself, walking from the bed, to the dresser, fidget with your wallet like you’re looking for something, then you’d find nothing, place the wallet back on the dresser, and walk back to the bed. You said so many things, I was still heady from last night’s gimik. You ended with “Go and make us proud.” I almost broke down. Honestly, that text was one of the rare occasions that I was actually asking for your permission, and not telling you my next move. Had you said no, I would gladly not have moved out.

5. I still believed in Santa Claus. I whispered to you that I wish Santa would give me a cap and a bike for Christmas. You said “walang kuwenta ‘yun!” Christmas Eve, you take carried a red bike from your room as I sat amazed by the tree. I don’t remember when I stopped believing in Santa, but I never stopped believing in you.

6. When I entered high school, I abandoned my childhood kalaro in the neighborhood and started hanging out with two older girls from St. Scho. You kinda sternly told me infront of the whole family over lunch “na masyado akong bumabarkada sa mga chicks.” I knew what you meant.

7. Last year, I asked you how your interview with Probe went. You gamely discussed your thoughts on the proposed psychological tests for would-be priests to weed out supposed undesirables, including homosexuals. You argued na ilan sa pinakabanal na paring nakilala ko ay bakla, kaya wala ru’n ang pagiging mabuti o masama ng isang tao. I almost came out to you that night.

8. The party was winding down, over brandy I consulted with you my plan to resign from SOP. You told me to think it over, because people, the boss especially, remember these things. You were virtually dissuading me, but you allowed me to make my own decision. I wrote the finest resignation letter I could come up with, and stood beside my boss as she read it; that lesson on exiting gracefully would prove vital when I decided to return a few years after.

9. A few days before school starts, you asked me my choice of university and course. “Broadcast Communication po sa UP.” “Hindi ba mas maganda sa Ateneo?” “Hindi po.” And that was that.

10. I got up in the middle night to get a glass of water. Tin-Tin was sleeping beside me on your bed since mommy will be gone for a few months to visit relatives in the US. It will be the longest time she would be gone. When I got out of the room, I saw you pacing in the darkness of the terrace. You were smoking again. Guess you were really missing mom.

Ate Mhely was Rushed to the ER Moments After I Posted that Blog Entry About Her

2010-03-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

A few minutes after I posted that Ate Mhely blog entry, I got a text that she was collapsed while cleaning my house and was rushed to the ER.

I called her up and was relieved to learn that she is fine, though they still have to run some tests to determine what caused her fainting. Initially, they found out that her blood sugar is unusually high.

My lunch meeting dragged on to Tuesday, and thirty minutes after midnight I learned that she was still in the hospital. I was able to talk to her husband on the phone. I excused myself from the meeting (yes, hindi pa siya exactly tapos nang 12:40am) to go to Quirino Hospital. Walang sinasabi si Ate Mhely or anyone from her family pero I know they would need help.

True enough, they spent hours waiting for the results of her urine test only to be told that they misplaced her sample so she would just have to come back the next day. Still, niresitahan siya ng 800-pesos worth of meds, and was billed P1,700 for lab fees! Geesh!

After settling the bill, nilinaw ko na kay Ate Mhely. It was almost 1am when I left her pero hindi pa siya nagla-lunch nu’n despite my insistence that she take a break at one of the cafeterias downstairs. Sabi niya sa telepono nu’ng una ko siyang nakausap eh uminom naman siya ng gatas from my fridge. At kumagat din siya sa brownies na naandu’n.

Ayun. Nag-collapse.

Conversations with Ate Mhely

2010-03-01T03:15:00.000-08:00

Kanina I woke up with my first hangover in a very, very looong time (Tantiya ko, 1998 pa’ko last nagkaganitong hangover). Malakas kasi ako uminom pa minsan pero hindi talaga ako ‘yung tipong hina-hangover. Nakakatulong siguro ‘yung laging meron akong 1.5L bottle ng Gatorade sa ref para pag-uwi ko from inuman, tutungga muna ako ng pang-rehydrate bago matulog. Dehydration daw kasi ang number cause ng hangover.

Ang maganda sa gising ko, nadatnan ko na si Ate Mhely na naglilinis sa condo. Kaninang madaling araw, laseng galing P2, ay nabilin ko pa sa lobby na darating siya. Hindi ko na rin ni-lock ang pinto para papasok na lang siya para masimulan na ang trabaho nang hindi ako ginigising. Hindi basta cleaning lady si Ate Mhely. She became our yaya when she was only thirteen years old, a chubby teener from the province. Nang nakapag-asawa, nabiyuda, at nag-asawa ulit ay napakarami nang kasambahay na pumalit sa kanya, pero si Ate Mhely talaga ang pamantayan ng kasambahay na talagang minahal kami at minahal namin.

Ang kuwentuhan namin, reminiscing about our years in Marikina. I was still a baby nu’ng una siyang dumating so may mga alam pa siya sa pamilya namin na hindi ako aware. Nu’ng napasambit ako ng motto kong “I’m a Baby,” for example, natawa siya dahil hindi pa rin daw nawawala ‘yun. Apparently, bata pa lang talaga ako ay nasimulan ko nang sambit-sabitin ang “I’m a Baby!”

Naalala rin niya nu’ng bata raw ako sabi ko hindi ako magkukuripot, I vowed daw na aalis ako ng bahay, yayaman para hindi na’ko kakain ng gulay at saluyot. Ngayon, nakabukod na’ko, nakakakain sa mga restaurant, pero the best pa rin for me ang home-cooked saluyot with labong at pinakbet ng mommy monster ko.

Nako-compare pa niya kami sa mga pamangkin ko. Si DJ raw ang pinakakamukha ko - malaki rin ang tenga hehe. Si Justin naman madaldal na tulad ko. Kapag naririnig pa niyang kinakausap ni Justin ang mga laruan niya, naaalala raw niya ang Kuya Ryan ko na ganu’ng-ganu’n din daw noon.

Tumanda at slightly pumayat na si Ate Mhely ngayon pero kanina, habang nagpe-prepare akong pumasok sa gitna ng paglilinis niya, naramdaman kong may nag-aalaga sa’kin, may concerned, may ibang tao sa bahay ko na masarap kakuwentuhan. I felt loved.

MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY: Para sa mga Malas sa Pag-ibig

2010-02-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

Do not judge a Star Cinema movie by its trailer. While na-interes akong panoorin ang Miss You Like Crazy on the strength of the John Lloyd-Bea-Direk Cathy Garcia Molina triumvirate’s reputation forged in One More Chance, hindi ako nag-expect na magpe-present ito ng panibagong take on a classic lovestory, but I was proven wrong? Ang brilliant din ng mga device ng writers to take the story forward. Admirable din ang pag-incorporate ng OFW angle, beauty of KL, and Pasig River Ferry sa pelikula.

May mga pagkakataon lang na minsan parang nagiging unconfident sila sa ganda ng kanilang materyal that they resort to trite pa-kilig tactics (e.g. biglang uulan, ‘yung graphic tee ng isang extra eh swak ang message sa gagawin ng bida), but these were few and rather forgiveable naman dahil hindi naman ganu’n ka nakakasuka sa pagka-manipulative sa damdamin ng audience.

More than a kilig movie, Miss You Like Crazy is an acting showcase of the great ensemble led by John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. This movie cemented the on-screen couple’s place among the greatest acting pairs in Philippine cinema, alongside the likes of Vilma and Edu, and Boyet and Nora, that is, if their previous movie “One More Chance” wasn’t enough to accomplish just that. Pinatutunayan din nito ang kagandahan if networks/producers experiment and take risks with their talents and not limit them to pa-sweety roles most would usually assume as what the audience demands of their young idols. Dahil sinusuportahan at hinuhubog, nagiging tunay na malalim ang pagganap ng dalawang batang aktor na’to. From John Lloy’d first “promise” to Bea, hanggang sa glassy eyed moment the first time he finally meets her after a long time, ang galing ng subtletly at sincerity niya. Bea pulls off her scenes with the same depth and control.

Among the ensemble, notable performances were displayed by Maricar Reyes, Sylvia Sanchez, Bembol Roco, Urian Best Supporting Actor winner Ketchup Eusebio, the Malay-Indian guy, Ryan Eigenmann, and Ina Feleo na kahit nasa background at naka-defocus ay tumatagos pa rin ang emosyon sa screen. Anak nga siya ng acting greats na sina Direk Laurice and the late Johnny Delgado!

Basta! Panoorin n’yo ‘to! Kung lumaki kang feeling mo ang tao kailangan nage-effort para i-love kasi kahit sa pamilya, feeling mo dapat may ma-achieve ka bago ka muna nila mahalin; O kung ‘yung mga taong pinakamamahal mo so much na pagkakatiwalaan mong ipakilala sa kanila ang totoo mong sarili ay siya pang hindi ka makakayang mahalin, making you believe that your 100% you is absolutely unloveable; kung naghintay ka ng 26 years bago ang iyong first boyfriend na akala mo dumating nang pagkatagal-tagal dahil ‘yun na ‘yon pero iiwan ka lang after one month matapos landiin ang kabarkada mo…

O kung sa dinami-rami ng mga naka-sex mo ay may isang nagmahal sa’yo pero mamatay lang; o kung ‘yung ideal guy ay hindi mo mapagkitwalaang mahal kang tunay kaya bibitawan mo tapos hindi ka na kayang mahalin muli after 24 hours; o kung ang longest relationship mo ay 1 year dahil 6 months du’n nasa Amerika siya tapos pag-uwi matapos ang matagal na paghihintay ay hindi ka man lang imi-meet para makipag-break, nagpatawag pa siya sa’yo sa cellphone…

Kung meron ka talagang paniniwalang you’re one of those people who are not meant for love, at tatanda ka nang mag-isa… bibigyan ka ng pag-asa ng pelikulang ‘to na darating din ang pag-ibig, sa tamang panahon, sa tamang lugar.

Remembering the First Time

2010-02-23T01:22:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Do I actually have the time to write a blog entry? Tehnically, I have a meeting that should have started six minutes ago but since meetings among TV people start about an hour later than scheduled, it seems I do have time. Besides, kelangan kong magbisi-busyhan dito dahil nadatnan ba naman ako ng VP for Enterainment TV at Direk Leo Martinez sa aming opisina na nagpa-powernap! OK, kasi kahapon muntik na’kong maiyak sa meeting…

I’ve always had this memory from my childhood. After so many years of that memory randomly flashing in my mind like it were the most natural thing in the world, I decided to call my sister while I was in the middle of the meeting to confirm the veracity of that mental image.

Tin, naaala mo ba nu’ng bata tayo, ‘yung namamasyal tayo sa Rustan’s Cubao tapos binibili tayo ni mommy ng donut na may asukal?

Oo.

Lagi ko kasing naalala ‘yung time na minsan gusto pa natin ng donut tapos sabi ni mommy, “Di kayo ang bumili.” Tapos binigyan niya tayo ng pera, excited tayo’t magkahawak-kamay pang pumunta sa stall tapos sabay tayong nagsabi ng, “Pabiling donut!” Naaalala mo ‘yun?

Hindi.

Ah…OK…Pero mukhang nangyari naman ‘yun? Kasi hindi ko sure kung nangyari talaga ‘yun. ‘Yun yata ang earliest memory ko.

Ilang taon ka ba nu’n tingin mo?

Hmmm…Mga five or six?

Five or six?! (trained sa SPED ang sister kong mother of one) Eh, mga three years old palang ang bata may memory na siya, eh.

Ah, ganu’n ba? Pero itong naalala ko, mukhang nangyari naman?

Oo naman.

For some reason, na-validate ako ng phone conversation na’yun. More than that memory, those few minutes on the phone re-connected me to my sister na siya namang pinaka-close kong kapatid while growing up. Siguro we started drifting apart nu’ng nag-high school na kami. She started having her own barkada, and I had my own, but the foundation of our relationship has got to be the so many shared firsts in our lives, including, it seems, our very first time buying unsupervised from a store.

Nagpatuloy ang sabay naming pagre-reconnect sa’ming childhood when my sister shared her early memory:
Ang natatandaan ko nu’n ‘yung hinahatid ka naming ni dad sa school mo. Naka-pajamas ako, hawak ko pa’yung mahaba kong unan tapos papasok ka nu’n sa school.

While she was sharing that story, nag-flash naman sa ulo ko ang corresponding experience ko in that story.
Talaga? Naalala mo ‘yan? Para kasing naaalala ko nga ‘yang hinatid n’yo ako ni dad tapos papasok ako sa classroom tapos nililingon ko kayo habang nasa sasakyan kayo. Galeng!

We wrapped up our conversation and we went back to our separate schedules. Then this text:

Naalala ko nu’n, hindi ako makalabas para maglaro kung ayaw mo ring lumabas kasi gusto mo lang manood ng TV o mag-imagine, kahit gustung-gusto ko maglaro sa labas kasi gusto ko kasama kita lagi. Tsaka nahihinto laro namin ‘pag bigla ka na lang uuwi ng bahay. Hindi ko alam kung ba’t gusto mong umuw, siguro ‘pag sinusumpong ka gusto mo lang umuwi o kaya manood ng TV. Minsan lang naman mangyari ‘yun. TOTOO ito.

Reading this made me wanna cry. Parang nagi-guilty ako na ewan. Then another text. Na-open na ‘yung floodgates of childhood memories ni Tin-Tin.

May memory din akong nasa garahe ka tapos nakasandal ka sa wall, nakabihis ka pang-alis – t-shirt, shorts, rubbershoes. Sad ka nu’n or umiiyak ka yata kasi maysakit ka. Dadalhin ka yata sa doktor nila ma, parang hindi mo’ko naririnig nu’n.

This I absolutely don’t remember, but I’ve always suspected that I got my hearing impairment this one time when I got hospitalized for very high fever when I was kid.

Ayokong Masanay

2010-01-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

May mga kakayahan tayong dulot ng ating genes. Tone-deafness, for example, so mahirap na talaga akong matutong kumanta. Genetic disposition din daw ang alcoholism. I have an uncle who’s alcoholic kaya siguro I also have a very high tolerance for alcohol. Malakas akong uminom, hindi ako basta-basta nalalaseng. Sa other extreme naman ang isa kong kuya na pinapantal sa tuwing makakainom.

March 1996. Ga-graduate na kami nu’n ng high school. Niyaya ni CJ ang buong SPC (St. Peter Chanel) sa kanilang resthouse na nasa isang malawak na lupain sa pampang ng Laguna de Bay. Kumpleto ang lugar. May main house kung saan nag-stay ang mga magulang ni CJ, dito rin sine-serve ang pagkain namin buffet style. May mga jetski, at may isa pang separate na guest house with two bedrooms and wraparound lanai kung saan nag-stay kaming magkakaklase. Meron ding parang port jutting out into the water at sa dulo nito merong roofed structure na perfect for inuman. Du’n ko vinow na ma-experience malaseng for the very first time. Inisip kong perfect time ‘yun kasi hindi ako nasa public na lugar, hindi ko sagot ang alak, I’m around people I trust, at ilang buwan na lang college na’ko so mabuti nang alam ko ang feeling ng laseng, at alam ko kung hanggang saan lang dapat ako.

So that night, beer lang nang beer, at hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ang pinapatagay pa ni Dondon Ramos. Ending, nagsuka ako…sa Laguna de Bay, sa garden, sa inidoro ng guest house, at nang nagbara eh nilipat nila ako sa inidoro (Very valuable lesson na matututunan mo ‘yan: Magsuka sa inidoro, ‘wag sa lababo!) Naalala ko pa na nu’ng sinasalok ng mga classmate ko ang suka ko from the sink to the inidoro eh nabitawan nila ang plastic cup at nalaglag ‘to sa inidoro, I just instinctively picked it up and handed it back to them. Naalala ko ring sa pagkakasalampak ko sa lababo eh halos matanggal na’to sa pader, at paulit-ulit ko pang sinasabi ang “Sorry, classmates, I failed you.” Nakakadiri!!! (At least alam kong halos imposible ang 100% amnesia kapag laseng na laseng as soooo many people claim.)

Mula nu’n, na-stretch na nang na-stretch ang capacity ko for alcohol. Sa UPM masarap uminom sa mga party, lalo na sa tuktok ng bundok where the cold makes it necessary. Sa mga karera, masarap uminom right after to celebrate or to sulk. Sa trabaho masarap din uminom…pero hindi ko ginagawa ‘yun nakuwento lang sa’kin. At dahil sa first experience ko, alam ko kung paano uminom hanggang sa ma-buzz o kaya magkaroon ng matinding tama pero just below the point na magsusuka-suka na’ko. Mangyari man ‘yon, hindi na’ko alagain tulad nu’ng 1996. Susuka lang ako tapos ok na, tamang buzz na ulit. Sanay na, eh.

May mga kasanayan namang dulot ng life events and circumstances. Lumaki akong middle child so hindi na’ko as doted over as much as my two older brothers. Saka by then nagse-stretch na rin siguro sa budget ang mga magulang ko so I never had that “may pasalubong na toy evertime na darating sila from work” na tulad ng kinukuwento nina kuya. Less than a year after I was born, ipinanganak naman ang bunso and only girl in the family so siyempre mas du’n nabaling ang atensyon. Ang resulta, lumaki akong independent-minded. Kailangan gawin ko ang mga bagay-bagay on my own. Hindi ko masyadong maalalang talagang tinututukan ako para sa assignments o sa mga projects. Kaya siguro ginawa na rin akong matalinong bata ng Diyos dahil alam niyang kakailanganin ko ‘yun para maka-cope at ma-enjoy ang pag-iisa. Ako ‘yung batang pinupuri for doing things on my own. “Kaya mo nang mag-isa! Galeng!” Kaya nang matutong maligo, magbihis, at kumaing mag-isa, nasanay na ring maglakwatsang mag-isa, kumain sa restaurang nang mag-isa, at kahit manood ng sine mag-isa. Tahimik akong manood; ayoko sa ma-react at ma-comment sa sinehan kasi I save mine after watching the film, pero kapag kelangang sumigaw, tumawa at umiyak ay ginagawa ko naman. Masayahin din naman ako habang nag-iisa.

Lately natuto na’kong magyaya. OK rin pala ang may kasama. Nagwo-worry nga ako kasi baka mamaya hindi ko na pala kayang mag-sine o mag-restaurant nang mag-isa tulad ng ipinagmamalaki ko.

Once in a while nga lang, sa gitna ng iyong pag-iisa, maaalala mong masaya rin ‘yung mga panahong biglang may magte-text sa’yo ng sweet concerns niya, mangangamusta lang, magpapa-cute, tapos mukha kang tangang mag-isang nakangiti habang nagte-text back habang nagsa-shopping. O habang kumakain ka, eh, for a change, meron kang katabi (as opposed to nakaupo across sa’yo na usually ang blocking kapag kaibigan mo lang ang kasama mo) tapos yayapusin ka o kaya magnanakaw ng halik. Masaya rin minsan ‘yung may sasalubong sa’yo sa finish line o kaya ‘yung alam mong sa iyong pagsa-psyche up sa karera alam mong may isang tao sa sidelines na aligagang-aligaga sa pagchi-cheer at pagkukuha ng video o pictures mo. Masaya lang.

Pero sa tatlmpu’t isang taon ko, wala pa yatang dalawang taon ang total na hindi ako mag-isa. So hindi nasanay.

Brazil! Brazil!

2010-01-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin namin maalala kung paano napunta ru’n ‘yung usapan nang magkita-kita ng mga past midnight sa Jack’s Loft. Basta we were talking about our dreams of visiting Brazil when next thing we know I was accepting the girls’ dare for me to get a Brazilian wax. At kahapon, ikalawang araw pa lang ng bagong taon josko, dinala na’ko nina Judy, Erica, at Mytee sa Lay Bare sa may Scout Area.

I came prepared. Mentally, nakapanood ako by accident ng mga male waxing technique sa YouTube. ‘Di ko rin lang sure kung paano ko na-chance upon ang mga videos na’yun eh ang sinearch ko eh “Singapore hunk.” Pyschologically, isang tipak ng brownies ang nginatngat ko an hour before para talagang may tama na’ko pagdating pa lang sa salon.

Isang petite and young girl named Cel ang, errr, ano ba tawag sa taong nagwa-wax? Pinahubad niya ako at pinasuot ang isang pink na surgical gown. Nang nasiguro niyang nakahiga na’ko sa kama ay saka na lang siya pumasok. Separated lang ng curtains ang mga waxing area so sigurado kong walang privacy dahil naririnig ko ang chikahan ng mga mareng nagpapa-wax sa mga kabilang areas. Ako lang ang lalake sa salon na’yon at that time. Napapansin ko na ang patagong ngisi ng mga babaeng cliente habang naghihintay sila sa reception area, nakatayo lang ako sa may pinto sa labas. Hindi ako mapakali.

Iba sa napanood kong video ang gagawin sa’kin. Walang wax na pine-press sa skin tapos saka lalapatan ng papel na siyang huhugutin. Hot wax pala ‘yun. After the session, saka na lang ipinaliwanag ng mga langyang babaeng ‘yan na cold wax ang ginawa sa’kin. Basically, nagbibilog si Cel sa mga daliri niya ng wax na kulay honey pero may consistency ng kulangot. Mga slightly smaller than a pingpong ball din ‘yung wax. Sinet aside.

Tinaas niya ang surgical gown, exposing me. Iba ulit ito sa napanood kong video na may towel constantly covering your privates para ‘yung area lang na wina-wax ang nakikita nila. Si Cel, walang privacy-privacy, buyangyang kung buyangyang! Trinim niya muna nang konti saka niya sinimulan!

Advice ng girls expect the worst para kapag maramdaman ko nang it’s reall not that bad, OK na’ko. The first few strokes were ok. May sting pero OK. Tapos hindi. na. OK. Eeeeyaaawww! Putangina!

Ang sakit!

Isa pan! PUTANGINA ANG SAKIT!!!

Normal naman daw ang mapasigaw, hindi raw bawal, so everytime I feel I had to, I’d let out a yelp, ask her to stop, and brace myself for the next hair-pulling punishment! Kakaiba talaga. Sabi ng girls, since they pluck their eyebrows and their kilikili, meron silang reference point ng pain, samantalang ang mga lalake, this is an entirely different kind of pain. Eh, ‘yung masubunutan nga lang ‘yun pubes habang nakaupo sobra nang masakit, ‘di ba? Bunutin pa kaya?! BUNUTIN PA KAYA!!!

May mga proud moments naman ako na sunud-sunod na kinakaya ko pero mahirap talaga. May mga times talagang MASAKIT AS IN MASAKIT! After what seemed like the hundredth pull, I decided to look down at kitang-kita naman ang resulta - mabuhok pa rin!!! Nakaka-frustrate ‘yun! Nai-imagine ko kasing with each excruciating pull ay naiiwang malinis na malinis na ‘yung area. ‘Yun pala hindi pa. Parang walang nangyayari. Naiiyak na’ko, walang OA. May mga times na I’d cover my face with a towel, I’d bite the towel, I’d give a long yelp, or minsan naman pagka-pull akala ko kaya ko tapos saka lang magre-register ‘yung pain! Kakaiba!

I kept on checking my watch. Ayoko naman kasing abutin nang isang oras du’n na tulad daw ng ilang nasasaktang cliente ni Cel. So may conscious effort akong i-brush aside agad ang pain para i-go na ulit ang pagwa-wax. After what I thought was 30 minutes, natapos na rin ang buong session pero siguro naduduling-duleng na’ko sa sakit kasi ang inaakala kong 30 minutes eh actually 1½ hours! Time flies when you’re in extreme pain? The brain’s way of easing your burden – fooling you into thinking it’s actually for just a short time?

Nilibre nila akong gelato after dahil binunutan nga naman ako. Ngayon, hindi ko pa rin siya nate-testing kahit kating-kati na’ko (not literally, mind you!). Ang down side nga raw nito eh magiging eager to show it off. Eh, wala pa naman akong mapagpapakitaan. Enjoyin ko na lang siya by looking at my baby look at the mirror (para kang nakakita ng weird na bagay na alam mong weird pero you just can’t help but stare, ganu’n!)

Ang favorite benefit ko so far, ang sarap-sarap-sarap magsabon!

2009 began

2009-12-31T00:01:00.000-08:00

2009 began in the hospital. And that set the pace of how I lived out this year. I lived it. Yet in silence.

I am just now realizing that this necessary silence in the beginning may have affected my brain, and my heart, and my soul that are used to being honest and open; it is now cautious, afraid to even reveal strong feelings for unrelated things lest it might reveal concealed truths. I write this final blog entry for 2009 with such caution.

Nowhere is this silence and caution evident than in my blog. I presume that in my daily conversations I appear normal and unaffected by a soul that is now only learning how to shut the doors around it. I appear candid and freeflowing, but my blog revealed my speechlessness. You’d think rigorous trainings for the UP Dragonboat Team’s races, and the first-ever CamSur Ironman70.3 would release my blogging juices but they only gave a diversion from self-introspection. The exciting events and sidelights racing with an entirely new set of teammates in Boracay weren’t enough to excite me to write a traditional post-race report on things not race-related. The Ironman experience made writers out of triathletes, and pressured me to finally recount my experience – but the piece lacked an inspired humor, and it failed to capture the content glee of having for the first time, my parents see me cross a finish line. I found a lack in soul -

- underneath Singapore’s clean, first-world façade, but I just said it in my status update. The less talk. And so I, despite numerous attempts, and believe me a strong desire, failed to make a detailed account of my fun, exciting, and fulfilling first trip abroad. So many wonderful thoughts for eloquent essays where reduced to mere shoutouts.

“Rey is…” and uploading photos became excuses for not writing. My wonderment with an unexpected trip to Japan are not in black and white. I found myself dumbfounded everytime I try to write down my profound happiness about Japan, evident whenever I restrain myself from going on and on and on when I talk about my adventures there in face-to-face conversations. Talk more, write less. The former allows one to just ramble off memories, while organizing one’s thoughts into a coherent and beautiful essay might trigger unwanted ideas into popping up in the process.

And painful ideas do pop up, even when doing mundane things. I would have preferred the mundane face-to-face break-up, though. Over him calling it off in a cellphone conversation that began with him texting: "col me then." Well-meaning friends sat me done, helped me process it over alcohol, but we were all surprised to discover that unlike before, I cannot seem to talk about it. Hearing me say what pains about the outcome of that relationship only compounds to my fear and uncertainty.

Ondoy submerged our home of 30 years. I didn’t have to add clutter to the bulletin board. I just let others tell their stories. Listening to people’s problems puts yours into perspective. I am blessed -

- to be alive. That I shall not hesitate to write for all the world to see: I AM ALIVE!

Decada ng Saya (2000-2009)

2009-12-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

Ito na ang huling taon ko sa kalendaryo! when I turned 20 when I felt down because hindi na’ko teenager, hindi na generation ko ang dini-depict sa mga TV shows…Turning 25 was worse. When you were younger, you thought you’d be this or that by the time your 25, naively thinking that is sooo far away, and when it happens, ayun, parang napakalayo na nang nilakbay mo pero wala ka pa ring nararating. Thirty, it was different. By then, you’ve achieved quite a few things you could be proud of, and yet you feel young enough to be optimistic that there are more wonderful dreams to be realized.

Pero ang feeling ko ngayon parang dinaanan ko lang ang 20’s ko! So pagkagising ko kanina, matapos kong mag-reply sa mga nag-text at naki-chat sa Facebook ng happy birthday, at nagbasa ng mga “nag-post ng something” sa aking “pader” (Filipino ang Facebook ko), ay hinalungkat ko ang aking mga planner/diary para maalalahanan ako sa aking yuppy years. Mahirap siya kasi maraming mga iniisip ko na nangyari sa ganitong taon, hindi pala! Buti na lang medyo well-documented ang buhay ko. Pinakamahirap i-retrace ‘yung pre-Friendster/Multiply/Facebook years, ‘yun din kasi ‘yung time na nawawala ang mga planner ko. Anyway, here – more for my benefit – is an overview of the past decade. Salamat, it is not lost no more!

2000 – graduates from up; joins gma
Yes, next year, around July, I celebrate my 10th year as a Kapuso! Diyos ko! Nasa GMA na’ko wala pa’yung dalawang bagong buildings, at hindi pa Kapuso ang tawag sa’min!

2001 – moved out
February ako bumukod. Ang ipon ko lang enough to pay the deposit at ni wala akong sariling salamin sa aking maliit na apartment sa #13 113 Esteban Abada! Kapag lumalabas ako to work, pasimple akong tumitingin sa mga dinadaanan kong kotse to check kung ok ba’yung suot ko. I advise every Filipino to move out as soon as they start working kasi dito talaga nila mari-realize ang importance ng karera, ng halaga ng pera, ng pagtitipid, ng disiplina, at mas maa-appreciate mo ang mga bagay-bagay kung nagsimula ka sa wala.

2002 – joins the up mountaineers
A “lampa” moment while assistant writing the Araw Awards in Cebu led to a realization that I am not fit. Namatay-matay ako sa Level 1 climb at secretly raw na nagta-thumbs down sign ang mga members tuwing dumadaan akong naglalakad na lang halos sa aking first 6.6km diagnostic test. Pero tiniyaga-tiyaga ko lang, na-induct din ako that year!

2003 – joins the up dragonboat team
Pinalipas lang ang Christmas vacation bago pinaunlakan ang imbitasyong mag-row. Sa Marikina Youth Center pa ang docking area nu’n. This is the first sport I really fell in love with. Ang ganda kaya niya!

2004 – has his first boyfriend
In fairness, 1996 pa lang nagrereklamo na’kong “Wala akong lovelife.” And when it happened, akala ko forever. For two months lang pala. Na-blotter pa’ko!

2005 –buys his first condo; blogs for the first time; races his first triathlon
After Esteban Abada, nag-move-in with Thea sa Panay. Nakumbinsi ko siyang mahirap umupa nang habambuhay dahil sabi nga ng nanay ko (na kinowt lang ni Villar – “di baling magdildil ng asin…”) Isang taon ding nagbabayad kami ng doble kasi pre-selling ‘tong condo, ang hirap! Pero buti na rin ‘yung nagtiis-tiis nang bonggang-bongga noon! Mas bonggang-bongga na ngayon, ha!

Five years ago since I first blogged! Sabi ko pa nu’n kay Jove na na-convince sa’kin, “pagsusulat na nga trabaho ko, in my spare time magsusulat pa rin?!”

June nu’ng nagkayayaan ng mga teammates na subukan ang beginner’s triathlon ng UPLB Trantados. Nagkamedalya. Tatlo na lang kami ngayong nagta-triathlon ngayon, si TJ na naka-sub-six hours na sa half-Ironman this year, at si Monica na national team lang naman!

2006 – is promoted youngest headwriter in gma; finishes his firs half-ironman triathlon; throws first-ever reypen
Isinumpa ko na nu’n ang pagtatrabaho ng Sunday pero naging dalawang show pa’ko – after SOP, segue sa SFiles! Enjoy naman at saka doble kita hehe! This Sunday, Dec 27, sesegue pa’ko sa Starstruck Live after ng Showbiz Central! Good luck to me!

My best triathlon year, so far. I got two bronze medals – one in a National Age Group Race and one in my age-group at my very first half-ironman distance triathlon in White Rock.

Sa isang inuman sa Brothers, nakumbinsi kami nina Danny, Diane, etc. na mag-joint party ni Pen on Christmas Day, something we’ve always fantasized pero takot kaming gawin kasi sino nga naman ang magpa-party away from their families ng Pasko, ‘di ba? Well, mamaya marami na namang regular at first-time ReyPen Party Animals! Lezgo!

2007 – pakshirt
Wala nang pakshirt pero ang dami kong natutunan dito. Someday, someday…

2008 – is promoted creative consultant for gma production services group and rtv-entertainment; buys his first car

2009 – gets to travel abroad for the first time (singapore and japan)
Binago nito ang marami kong pananaw sa buhay, i-share ko next time, ha!

Salamat sa inyong lahat! Sa susunod na mga adventures ulit natin! Ang saya ng buhay! ‘Yun lang!

Tokyo Puwede!!!

2009-11-06T16:31:00.000-08:00

Kinalikot namin ni Flow ang controls ng bidet sa aming hotel room toilet. Hindi gumagana. 'Yun pala kelangan mong upuan bago siya mag-on automatically. Para kaming mga Tarzan na napadpad sa lungsod.

Walang upuan sa train from arrival area in Narita airport para kasya lahat. Naka-dark colored business suits halos lahat ng tao. Pero may mga makukulay rin. Marami ring naka-face mask ngayon. Higit sa lahat, maraming "PUWEDEEEE!" sa Tokyo. Kapag sa daan, 'yan ang code name namin dahil na-realize kong maaaring naiintindihan nila ang pagtili-tili ko ng "CUUUUTE!"

Sa aming paglilibot kagabi sa Shibuya at Shinjuku, inabot namin ang huling pasada ng train ng midnight. At maraming nakasalampak na halos sa upuan dahil tulog na mula sa isa na namang araw ng pagtatrabaho. May isang babaeng natutulog nang nakatayo as in! Nakanganga, nabitawan na niya ang kanyang sosyal na handbag pero hindi pa rin nagising. Nakasandal lang sa isangpole. Tapos parang medyo nahimasmasan, naglakad-lakad nang konti habang nakakapit sa pinto at pader ng tren, tapos bumalik ulit sa pagkakasalampak sa pole at natulog muli. Ibang klase! When we reached the last stop of the train, 'yung mga attendants sa train pumapasok talaga tapos ginigising ang mga tulog.

Sa una nakaka-intimidate ang technology but once you get the hang of it, aliw siya. Ito ang tagal naming finigure out kasi nga hindi naman kami nakakabasa ng kanji. Sa restaurant na'to, may waiter naman pero pagpasok mo kelangan mong magpasok ng pera sa parang vendo na'to, press your selection (na may plastic model equivalent sa labas) at may lalabas na card. Upo ka tapos saka lang lalapit ang waiter para kunin ang inyong card. Maya-maya lang andiyan na 'yung order niyo. Nasa table na lahat ng kelangan mong condiments, at ice cold water, chopsticks. May area where you help yourself to kanin-all-you-can.

Bongga tumawid ang mga tao rito, parang rumarampa, six intersecting pedestrian lanes ang sa Shibuya Crossing at everytime maggi-green ang light, parang may rally na nagtatawiran ang mga nagrarampahang mga Hapon.

May porn manga na binebenta sa 711. Parang benta ako sa isang bar na pinuntahan namin - may puti, Jap, egoy. I think I can live here. Arigato gosaimas!

Mahirap Magsulat ng Nakakatawa

2009-09-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hindi ko pa lubusang ma-process ang halu-halong nararamdaman ko bilang ang pamilya ko’y nasalanta ni Ondoy kaya habang nagpapahinga ako mula sa isang buong araw na naman ng paglilinis ng bahay namin sa Marikina, ito na lang ang pag-usapan natin.

Nakakatawa naman akong tao pero hindi ko kayang magsulat ng comedy.
Nu’ng una akala ko kaya ko. Ang sinubmit kong sample scripts nu’ng nag-a-apply ako sa GMA ay ‘yung mga nakakatawa ko naman daw na scripts sa mga production classes ko sa UP. (Shit, bakit parang naaamoy ko ang pinaghalong burak at tae? Nare-retain ba ng olfactory nerves ang buong araw mong nasisinghot?) One particular scrip that I was very proud of was this that got an uno from. Prof. Rose Feliciano’s Radio Class:

DARNA: Ding! Akin na’ng bato!
DING: Bakit, ate? Wala naman tayong ise-save, ha!
DARNA: Meron! Makaka-save tayo ng up to 40% sa Sta. Lucia Super Sale! May discounts sa damit, pagkain, furniture, appliances, at groceries. Mamimigay pa ng libeng tickets sa arcade at sinehan!
DING: Kung ganu’n, akin na lang ‘to. (Lunok sound effects) DARNA!!!
DARNA: Ding, isama mo ako!
DING: (Fading out as Superman theme fades in) See posters and print ads for details na lang, ateeee!!!

Nang ini-interview ako ni Ma’am Wilma Galvante, tinanong niya kung kaya kong mag-isip ng mga gags for Bubble Gang. Sinayt din niya ang witty scripts ng Tigbak Authority ng Startalk. “Yes,” ang pabibo ko namang sagot.

Agad naman niya akong sinabak sa pagsusulat ng sitcom, naging nag-iisang bagitong brainstormer ako nu’n sa isang show na binubuo ng mga batikang comedy writers na tulad nina Benjie Elgincolin, Chito Francisco, Wystan Dimalanta, at ang naging sorta unang mentor ko, na si Direk Cesar Cosme.

“Idol Ko si Kap” would become Bong Revilla’s successful foray into television, and in comedy, even. Ang tanging na-contribute ko ay ang pangalan ng kanyang pamangkin na si “Gigi.” Hango ‘yun sa isang espesyal na tao nu’n sa buhay ko.

Pinagsulat din yata ako ng script for Idol pero pina-revise lang nang pina-revise, hindi rin nakapasa. Basta ang alam ko, ‘yung thought pa lang na magsulat ng isang buong script for a sitcom was very, very daunting. Dinadaga talaga ako, pakiramdamn ko hindi maganda, parang hindi nagwo-work, ganu’n. Sa totoo lang, ipinagpapasalamat ko na na-pack-up na lang ‘yung script ko nang ganu’n, without much fanfare.

Matapos nu’n ay pinagtiyagaan pa rin akong magsulat sa Kool Ka Lang. I think after sooo much revisions ay may isang script din akong nai-tape. Pero blurry lang sa’kin ang buong proseso ng pagsusulat. Pakiramdam ko talaga hindi ko kaya ‘yun. Takut na takot talaga ako. Tapos in-encourage pa’kong bumisita sa set when they’re taping my ep. Nakita kong pinag-uusapan nina Long ang opening sequence ko – which was required to be very, very funny. Napakasunduan nilang hindi siya nakakatawa enough to be an opening sequence, but they will tape the rest of the episode. Wala rin namang fanfare na napagdesisyunan ‘yun pero naramdaman ko talaga ‘yung pinakakinatatakutan ko mula pa nang maatasan akong magsulat ng comedy. Ang sakit! I had to excuse myself from the set para makapagpahangin sa Glorietta (may hangin ba ru’n?)

At du’n officially nagtapos ang pagsusulat ko ng comedy sa GMA. Basta hindi talaga nagwo-work. Hanggang ngayon pakiramdam ko hindi ako makakasulat ng sitcom.
A couple of years ago, nirekomenda ako ng kaibigan ko from Broad Ass na si (Direk) Ianco sa isang grupong naghahanap daw ng comedy writers. Eh, nakakahiya naman dahil nirekomenda nga niya ako so pumunta ako sa isang meeting ng mga dalawampu yatang katao sa The Old Spaghetti House sa may Valero. May pinapanood sa’ming French sitcom at i-adapt daw namin ‘yun sa Pilipinas.

Three to five minutes lang naman ang bawat episode so medyo madali, ‘di tulad ng isang oras at kalahati na kailangan mong punuan ng katatawanan sa mga Pinoy sitcoms. Kinarir ko nang kaunti ang aking adaptation. Bukod sa pagsasalin sa Filipino ng ilang episodes na sinuplayan nila ng English translation, naglakip din ako ng isang concept paper on how “Camera Café” could succeed in the Philippines.

Sa tingin ko ‘yung extra paper na’yun ang nakapukaw sa pansin ni Direk Mark Meily kung bakit ako napasali sa writers pool pero ngayon ay ikinahihiya ko na ang na’yun. Sinabi ko kasi ru’n na hindi maaarok ng Pilipinong manonood ang ganu’ng office set-up. Dapat gawing call center ang setting (as opposed to the ambiguous company ng orig) at gawing mga bata ang artista dahil ang tatanda ng mga napapanood kong cast ng Camera Café, sa France man, at sa iba pang versions nito all over Europe, and other French-speaking countries and territories.

Mas manageable sa’kin ang pagsusulat ng Camera Café. At sa ilang seasons din niyang nasa ere ay minsan ko pa lang yata siya napanood sa telebisyon. Pero tuwang-tuwa ako kapag naririnig ko na marami palang sumusubaybay sa kanya, na tuwang-tuwa, tawang-tawa, at nabibilib dahil kakaiba nga raw ang Camera Café.

Sa isang meeting para sa kasal ng valedictorian namin sa UP Mass Comm na si Atty. Kat Reyes, Kat mentioned to her then fiancée DA na naalala raw niyang sinabi ko sa isang class na pangarap kong baguhin ang hitsura ng sitcom sa Pilipinas. Humanga raw siya na parang may plano na’ko nu’ng nag-aaral pa lang kami. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na maalala na sinabi ko ‘yun but if she says she so, ‘di sige, at natutuwa na lang din siguro ako sa dagdag pa niyang natutupad ko na ang pangarap na’yun with Camera Café.
Sa humor episode ng Jessica Soho Reports ay fineature ang Camera Café. Puring-puri ang mga French producers sa Pinoy version ng Camera Café dahil nga raw sa parehong Latin ang kultura nating mga Pilipino at Pranses ay agad nating na-grasp ang diwa ng show, as opposed to the other Asian versions that followed. Camera Café also won Best Comedy at the Asian Television Awards. Then the economic crisis came, wala nang sponsors, tigil muna ang taping.

Tulad siguro ng Ondoy, matagal rin bago ko na-process ang lahat-lahat kaya ngayon ko na nga lang sinasabi ‘to, ‘di ba? Just a few weeks ago may remnants pa rin ng collective disappointment ng staff and crew when Khalila lamented on her Facebook status line the fate that Camera Café Philippines suffered.

Sabi ng iba, hindi pa raw ready ang Pinoy sa ganu’ng “mataas” na comedy? I totally, totally disagree. Una, hindi ko naman kino-consider ang Camera Café na mataas eh much like Bubble Gang or other Pinoy sitcoms are not “mababa” just because masa ang target nila. Ang nakakatawa, nakakatawa; merong specificities, merong mas ki-click sa isang demographic, pero hindi ibig-sabihin nu’n mas mababang uri ang isa, at ang isa naman ay mas mataas. Iba-iba lang talaga ang nakakatawa sa mga tao. Kung tutuusin, naka-ilang season na rin naman ang Camera Café sa Pilipinas na may ganu’ng brand ng humor, kinakagat naman. Matatanda at non-stars (but really, really great thespians) ang cast, andu’n si Christian Vasquez pero hindi siya pinaghuhubad (well, not all the time), at ang tanging original Filipino character du’n ay si Manang (first played by Mylene Dizon, then Angel Aquino, and the latest, Wilma Doesnt). No Philippine office would be complete nga naman nang walang “Manang” na mauutangan ng lunch, meryenda, damit, alahas, atbp. Ay! Nang umalis din pala ‘yung character ni Frida (na hango sa French character na si, well, Freida), pinalitan siya ng similar character na pinangalanang…Fonda.

Our French producer, Henri deLorme, and his French backers (one of whom is the French father of it model/make-up artist Solenn Heussaff) is keeping the fire burning. Ang balita pa nga ay muling mabubuhay ang Camera Café Philippines. I don’t wanna keep my hopes too high pero sana nga. I’m so proud to be part of that team na talagang siniseryoso ang pagko-comedy.

Madugo at nakakatuwang okrayan ang brainstorming, pero mababait ang mga co-writers kahit mga luminaries na sila. I remember one brainstorming na nate-tense si Dennis Teodosio dahil lalabas na nga ang resulta ng Palanca Awards. Pangisi-ngisi lang si Kuya Rody Vera na judge pala sa Palanca that year. Saka ko na lang na-realize na LAHAT pala ng nasa creatives ay mga Palanca Award-winners! Dinaan ko na lang sa ganda.
Meron pa pala akong isang experience bilang comedy writer, nu’ng sinulat ko ang continuity ng Comedy Revue ng UP Centennial. I didn’t write any of the sketches (Candy Pangilinan kinda asked me to writer her material pero dinaga lang ako) pero kinonsider akong writer dahil ako ang nagtagpi-tagpi sa mga monologue ng mga UP alumni na tanyag na sa live comedya like Willie Nepomuceno, Tessie Tomas, Tuesday Vargas, Candy Pangilinan, Ador, Herbs Samonte, etc.

Hosts ko that night sina Kuya Roderick Paulate and pre-KimmyDora Eugene Domingo. I swear, sa sobrang galing nila hindi ako nagtrabaho during the show. Binigay ko sa kanila ang script that day, konting kausap at sila na ang dumiskarte. Nanood na lang talaga ako. Ang galing talaga! Magdadakdakan sila, batuhan ng punchlines, pero sa huli ay babalik pa rin sila sa script na isinulat!

Ang ganda rin na the night before the show, biglang nag-express si Kidlat Tahimik na gusto niyang mag-perform. It’s his world-famous bahag monologue. Kung hindi lang siya tatay ng kaibigan ko ay na-weirduhan ako; nagkagat-dila na lang ako sa mga skeptical comments na narinig ko pero na-vindicate naman ang recent Gawad Plaride Awardee (and Father of Filipino Independent Cinema) dahil ang kanyang “profound” na “performance art” was hilarious and poignant.

Nakakagulat din si Candy Pangilinan dahil nu’ng run-through ay hindi ako natatawa pero nu’ng may adrenaline na ng performance, grabe! Gugulong ka talaga sa made-for-that-occasion monologue…ang iba kasi ay nag-perform na lang ng tried and tested routine.

Magaling si Willie Nep, of course, as Erap addressing the UP Community. Fascinating ang rehearsals ng Teysi dahil she was actually bawling while mouthing her script dahil ang isang kaibigan niya was murdered the week before. She was actually crying out his name as she was rehearsing, perhaps as a means of purging all negativity bago siya magpatawa later on.

They say hindi na raw mauulit ang ganu’ng pagtitipun-tipon on one stage ng mga UP comedians/comediennes so nakaka-proud na naging part ako nu’n kahit papaano. Na-nega lang nu’ng huli dahil isang bagitong spinner ang nagreklamo kung bakit hindi raw SIYA napasalamatan sa curtain call. Hah? Eh, wala naman sa staff maliban kay Direk Maryo J. delos Reyes ang napasalamatan. Gaga, no?

Iboboto ko si Noynoy kasi...

2009-09-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Iboboto ko si Noynoy. Nang unang lumabas ang pahiwatig na tatakbo siya, naisip ko kaagad na siya ang iboboto ko.

Pero hindi ko ma-justify kung bakit? Dahil ba gusto ko si Ninoy, at si Cory? Sige na nga, pati si Kris Aquino gusto ko actually. Sabi ko nga kay DJ Mo nu’ng napag-usapan naming sa backstage ng Showbiz Central ang eleksyon: “I know it’s like voting for an actor because you like the good character he plays on TV, but I’m gonna vote for Noynoy.”

Unapologetically ko siyang nasasabi pero ngayon ko pa lang ‘to maitataga sa blog kasi ayokong isulat ang isang bagay na hindi ko pa masyadong mapaninindigan, lalo pa nu’ng niratatat na’ko ni Mo ng lahat ng mga hindi ko pa ma-settle nu’n na issues tungkol sa pagpili ko kay Noynoy. Are we abandoning that dream for a Filipino electorate that vote based on platforms rather than on celebrity now that we’re choosing Noynoy despite his admitted lack of experience, credentials, and preparation?
Ngayon may masasagot na’ko.

At katulad ng sagot ng ibang tao kung sino ang kandidato nila sa 2010 Presidential Elections, ang sagot ko ay hindi siguradong tama, umaasa lang akong tama ito, at sa paglalahad ko sa kanya ay umaasa rin akong makumbinsi kayo…

Ang mga Left ay naniniwala sa pagbuwag ng mismong sistema, rebolusyon para tabularasang maiguguhitan muli ng mas maayos na pamamalakad ang bansa, and isang malaking argument against Noynoy sa mga taong Left-leaning ang kanyang Panginoong Maylupang background. He is part of the enemy system, so kahit gaano pa siya kabuting tao, voting him to office will only further cement the oppressive status quo. True, true, but I do not believe in rebolusyon at pagbubuwag ng gobyerno as we know it simply because magugulo lang tayo, eh. Kaya mapalalampas ko ang atraso ni Noynoy na isa siyang tagapagmana sa Hacienda Luisita.

Hindi ako naniniwala sa rebolusyon dahil naniniwala ako sa sistema natin. Oo, marami pa ring mali rito pero nafa-fine-tune din naman unti-unti. Naniniwala ako na ang pag-unlad ng tao ay malaking nakasalalay sa kanyang sariling diskarte, at naniniwala akong ang intensyon ng sistema ng ating lipunan at pamahalaan ngayon ay nakaka-allow pa naman sa atin na magkaroon ng sariling diskarte.

Kaya bumuboto ako hindi dahil umaasa akong ito na ang taong mag-aahon sa’kin mula sa anumang baiting sa lipunan na kinatutuntungan ko, dahil may sarilli naman akong diskarte. Ang boto ko ngayon ay para sa ibang hindi pa gaanong makadiskarte…
Sana ang mapipiling leader ay ‘yung hindi ililiku-liko ang takbo ng pagfa-fine-tune natin sa’ting sistema upang matustusan lang ang kanyang pansariling interes. Ganu’n si Noynoy. At sa lahat ng nagbabalak ngayong umupo sa Malacanang, si Noynoy Aquino lang ang ganu’n.

Walang experience, walang track record…sa pangungurakot at pantataksil sa bayan.

Rey's Report: Ironman 70.3 Philippines

2009-09-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

1ST COBRA ENERGY DRINK IRONMAN 70.3 PHILIPPINES
23 August 2009 (Sunday)
Camsur Water Complex, Naga, The Philippines

1. Una sa lahat, congrats sa lahat ng individual participants na nakatapos sa karera! Sa mga winners, shit kayo! Kung alam ko lang na seseryosohin n’yo ‘to ‘di sana ginalingan ko! “Competing with yourself?” Isa pang shit! Ang hindi ko lang sini-shit ay si Terenzo Bozzone! The first time I saw this guy’s photo on the website, alam ko nang siya ang mananalo. Siya rin ang binoto ko sa online poll without even reviewing his credentials, basta lang na-draw ako sa kanya. Ewan ko ba, parang may connection.

2. Maraming salamat, Ige Lopez, owner of T1, for making my fabulous trisuit. You are still the best local manufacturer of triathlon/multi-sport apparel! Alamna!

3. Sa pampang, binulungan na’ko ni Monica Torres ng valuable tip sa swim. Sabi niya: “Zfdalhlgew ramp glagmfhr.” Magulo na ang utak ko nito kaya um-oo na lang ako sa kung anuman ‘yung sinabi niya. Pagdating ng swim turnaround sa tropical iceberg na’yun, du’n ko na lang naintindihan ‘yung sinasabing gibberish ni Monica! “Rey, pagbalik, targeting mo lang ‘yung malaking Gatorade kasi nakakasilaw, ‘di mo makita ‘yung dulo. And stay closer to the ramps than to the bouy lanes para shorter distance ang tatahakin mo.” True enough, lahat halos ng kasabayan ko sa swim ay sa boya nakadikit pero dalawa o tatlo lang yata kami sa kabilang side, sa may ramps. Yeba!

4. Ang sarap ng feeling coming out of the big lake. I was able to shave off minutes from my swim PR. But the swim has always been my weakest leg so I try to take it easy. Pero pag-ahon mo talaga from the big lake, mase-sense mo ang excitement with the blaring announcements, and the thick crowds lining each side of the short run to the small lake. Takbo ako to the small lake. Lusong sa small lake. Akmang da-dive and then…

5. Bakit ba’ko nagmamadali? Ang hirap kaya nu’n! Mahigit 1km na ang nilangoy tapos tumakbo pa sa slight paakyat para lumangoy ulit?! Kaya tumigil na lang muna ako habang waist-deep in small lake water. Once I caught my breasts, este, breath, dive into the circular swim route. Then off to T1.

6. Nakakatuwa nga talaga ang dami ng mga taong nanonood sa bike leg. Nakaka-tense nga lang ang unang turnaround kasi napakasikip, at halos nasasakupan na ng mga tao ‘yung daan. Natatakot akong masemplang pag-u-turn ko kasi nakakahiya, ‘di ba?!

7. Siyempre, tuwang-tuwa ang mga foreign elites sa mga taong nagchi-cheer ng “Go! Go! Ironman!” Nakakawala nga naman ng pagod. Sabi nga ni Bentley, “It was as if they were organized.” Of course, the Pinoy athletes know that they were indeed organized or they wouldn’t be in school uniforms on a Sunday, braving the heat as much as the athletes. Pero mukha namang nag-enjoy sila. Enjoy na enjoy din ako dahil sa tuwing dadaan ako eh sisigaw sila ng, “Philippines!” O, ‘di ba? Feeling crowd favorite sa Miss Universe!

8. Ang strategy ko ay maghinay-hinay sa bike. Pero sadya nga raw imposible ‘yun kasi cleared from all traffic ang highways, at napaganda talaga ang mga kalsada. Meron nga lang parang first-timers na kahit nagmamabagal eh sa sa gitna talaga ng daan nagba-bike, o kaya pasuray-suray pa! Pero OK lang, narating ko rin ang turnaround in less than my target time! Shit!

9. Bahagyang natanaw kong parang port ang turnaround kaya medyo may panghihinayang akong hindi ko totally ma-take in ang view kasi marami ring taong nanonood. Hindi na’ko nagtagal du’n at pumadyak na pabalik. Nakakabilib na tinigil talaga ni Gov. LRay ang traffic! Ang laking ginhawa. Meron nga lang akong natiyempuhang pinatawid nilang dalawang SUV nang padaan ako kaya nag-panic brake ang Pajero at Everest habang sumisigaw akong humarurot sa gitna nila. Agad namang nag-sorry ang mga marshals. OK lang po.

10. Dahil kay Fred Uytengsu, may libreng Cobra Energy Drinks. Dahil kay Fernando Zobel may libreng Globe wifi. Ano kayang makukuha ko kay BJ Manalo! Siya ang sinusundan ko emerging from T2. Run na!

11. Going into the barrio road, naoverteykan na’ko ni Amanda Carpo, who was on her last loop already. I tried to get my groove pero ewan ko ba. Nakaka-discourage din na marami akong nakikitang familiar faces na pabalik na, at may ilan sa kanila ngayon ko lang nakitang naglalakad for the first time in a race. Grabe! Iba yata ‘to!
12. At ito na’ng masakit. Shit.

13. More than half of us have tackled this distance before, pero dahil nga may tatak Ironman 70.3 ito, trinato natin siya na parang mas espesyal. Ganu’n din ako. I put in the effort, and I set goals for this race. But even before I reached my first run turnaround, alam kong nagka-crumble na’yung lahat ng ‘yon. Para que ano pa’t nag-ensayo ako?!

14. Buti na lang napakasaya ng aid station na pinangungunahan ng daughter yata ni David Charlton. Naka-grass skirts pa sila, may mga lei, nagchi-cheer talaga. At higit sa lahat, may saging! “Bahala na, Rey! Tapusin mo na lang ito.”

15. In the grueling kilometers of that run kinalimutan ko na lang ang anumang disappointment ko sa sarili ko by keeping a positive attitude, and it is these fun snippets that I will choose to remember:

a. Jonjon Rufino giving me an encouraging and literal push on my first loop, but he was on his last already

b. Ang pagpaing sa’kin ni Antonio Regis sa crowd dahil nga naka-Miss Philippines trisuit ako; at ang ilang hindi ko kilalang triathletes na napangiti ko naman

c. The exchange of encouraging words and high-fives with the friends I encounter on the run route: training mates from Team PMI Czar Manglicmot, Rizz Cloma-Santos, Poch Santos, Onard Bonavente, and Gerard Reyes; the elites who’ve helped me a lot with their patient and unselfish coaching (kahit napaka-whiny kong student) - Monica Torres, Rayzon Galdonez, and Jojo Macalintal; also my friends who put out fantastic times – Levy Ang and Makoy Almazar in their first 70.3 race, Junie Santos and TJ Isla who beat their PR by an overwhelming margin, and Joyette Jopson and Doray Ellis with their well-deserved podium finish

d. ‘Yung naglabas ng hose para i-shower ang mga karerista from his balcony; at ‘yung mga nag-igib sa poso para lang may baldeng puno ng pambuhos para sa’tin

e. ‘Yung pagtugtog ng “Nobody” sa isang bahagi ng run route…napa-dance pa rin ako

16. Sa last stretches sa barrio road ay inabandona ko na ang pagtakbo altogether. Naglakad na lang ako. Balak kong tumakbo na lang non-stop once I get up to the big lake. Pagdating sa lake, kinausap ko na lang talaga ang sarili ko na tumakbo: “Sige, ganyan, Rey, i-maintain mo lang ang pace na’yan. Fight the urge to overtake anyone, basta maintain ka lang, makakarating ka rin.” Then slowly naunahan ko rin ‘yung ibang nasa unahan. Then panibagong surge going into the small lake. Still I was fighting the urge to speed too soon dahil ayokong maubusan ng gas. Nakita naman ako ng mga magulang kong nag-finish, a first for all of us. Still, I was way off my PR and my target time…

17. Laseng/bangag ako halos araw-araw after the race. Not so much dahil nagse-celebrate ako, but because I was trying to drown my disappointment. Though nahahaluan din ng konting guilt dahil naka-participate naman ako sa isang magandang karera, nakapag-train ako nang maayos, at natapos ko naman nang walang hitch, ano pa bang irereklamo?

18. Hindi masakit ang katawan ko afterwards…kahit na nu’ng karera ay wala akong naramdamang kakaibang sakit. Siguro ibang rewards din ang nakukuha ng mga taong talagang sini-stretch ang kakayahan nila to the point of almost unbearable pain, for which I might not be prepared. Kelangan ko pa nga siguro ng soul-searching, to re-assess muli kung bakit ko ‘to ginagawa.

19. During the race, I was trying to listen closely to my body – whatever ache, pain, or discomfort – at sinusubukan kong tandaan siya. Ang katawan kasi natin, para ma-encourage tayong mag-exercise, nagpa-pump ng endorphins para sumasaya tayo, pero this time, on my third half-Ironman distance race, sinumpa kong hindi ko kakalimutan kung gaano siya kahirap para when the next race announcement comes out, hindi na’ko parang teenaged girl na ‘di mapakali sa upcoming visit ng Twilight cast sa Manila!

20. Pero heto ako ngayon, nilalagyan na ng aerobar ang aking road bike. ‘Di na natuto…

21. It was great to see so many Filipinos getting interested in the sport. Well-represented ang mga Manila teams, ang UPLB Trantados, ang Tri-Clark, CDO Tri, mga Cebuano, pati Camsur nagkaroon ng sariling tri team composed of young and promising athletes. Sana magtuluy-tuloy na ang ganitong paglago ng sport sa Pilipinas…na ang mga nag-relay ngayon eh ma-challenge nang gawin everything next time, na ‘yung mga sumubok lang to cross this item off their bucket list ay hanap-hanapin pa ang euphoria nito hanggang sa paulit-ulit na nila ‘tong gagawin, na may nakabalita lang na maengganyong targetin ang susunod na karera…at sana kasama ng increased interest na’to ay enough venues for the aspiring triathlete of simple means to get adequate support, training, and education sa sport para mas lalo pa nilang ma-enjoy ang kanilang karera.

22. I wish na kung magkakaroon man tayo ng susunod na Ironman 70.3 sa Pillipinas, hindi na magiging ganun ka prohibitive ang gastusin. Sana may local rates at hindi ‘yung ang kausap kong Pilipino sa telepono eh puro dollar-dollar-dollar ang kino-quote sa’king presyo. Nakakahinayang lang na ang dami akong kilalang talented young athletes ang hindi nakasali sa hindi na mauulit pang first-ever Ironman 70.3 Philippines dahil lang hindi nila ma-afford ang brand name na ikinabit sa race distance na regular namang nagaganap sa bansa.

23. Napakaganda ng support na binigay ng local community ng Naga sa IM70.3, but I wonder kung maganda ang beaches sa area nila. Maganda siguro na sa susunod na races na talagang dadayuhin ng mga tao, eh, sa dagat talaga ang swim para kitang-kita mo ang kagandahan ng Pilipinas.

24. But I gotta admit, bongga talaga 'tong 1st Cobra Energy Drink Ironman 70.3 Philippines!

Our Lesson for Today: "Up"

2009-08-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

Wala pa’ko sa mood magkuwento tungkol sa Ironman70.3 so let’s just discuss this great movie, Up, na magiging classic animated movie na kalolokohan kahit pa ng mga susunod na henerasyon.

I thought vocation ko ang pagtuturo. I come from a family of teachers, and my parents are now retired teachers, pero several incidents in my youth led me to think that God doesn’t want me to teach, at least not full-time, kaya naging writer na lang ako. Pero I still fantasize about being scriptwriting teacher. I was once invited to teach that in UP Baguio, na-tempt ako pero ayokong iwan ang showbiz nu’n. Ngayon, nakakapagturo pa rin ako ng konting writing sa mga resident members ng Broad Ass sa kanilang taunang Dulaang Kapiterya. As headwriter naman, nakakapagturo ako paminsan-minsan, pero mas tina-trust kong marunong nang magsulat ang mga TV writers. In fact one of my younger writers teaches TV Scriptwriting in UP.

Anyway, sa tuwing nakakapanood ako ng isang beautifully written TV show or movie, hinihimay ko siya sa utak ko, at nakaka-imagine ako ng lesson plan kung paano ko siya idi-discuss sa aking sariling Scripwriting Class. So, class, for those of you who haven’t seen this required viewing, please step out of the classroom and I will mark you na lang as absent. Baka lang kasi mainis kayo kapag may ma-touch akong crucial plot points at spoilers. OK, class, let’s begin…

1. Premise. Isang napakasayang part ng pagbuo ng istorya ang premise. Ito ang “what if?” na pagmumulan ng aksyon. What if may bahay na tinalian ng maraming-maraming lobo tapos lumipad? What if nagsasalita ang aso, ano kaya’ng sasabihin niya? Tapos ide-develop na lang ng writer. Usually kapag may isa kang magandang premise, enough na’yun. Minsan kasi sa pagiging overzealous ng writers, napaghahalu-halo ang napakaraming magagandang premise, lumalabnaw tuloy. Ang galing lang ng Up dahil kahit napakarami niyang outrageous premises, napagtagpi-tagpi niya ito na hindi na masyadong nagiging absurd para sa manonood ‘yung istorya. Which brings me to the next concept…

2. Logic in Fiction. Hindi porque fantasy ang isang pelikula at sinu-suspend mo ang disbelief ng mga manonood ay puwede mo nang gawin ang lahat. Lalo pa ngang dapat magtugma-tugma ang mga pangyayari kapag kathang-isip ang sinusulat mo. Sa tunay na buhay kasi may mga bagay that don’t make sense pero ano’ng magagawa natin kung ganu’n talaga ang nangyari. Pero sa script dapat logical lahat – ang reaksyon ng isang character sa isang sitwasyon, lalo’t kung pivotal sa kuwento, ay dapat nailatag nang maayos beforehand, ang consequences ay dapat tugma sa causes, hindi puwedeng basta na lang umusbong. Kahit pa bio-pic o historical ang script, malinaw dapat sa writer ang gusto niyang sabihan sa pamamagitan ng pagsasalaysay ng buhay ng isang tunay na tao, o ng isang totoong kaganapan. Kumbaga, pipiliin mo ang mga pangyayari sa kasaysayan na makakatulong sa’yong i-prove ang gusto mong iparating na mensahe.

3. The Germ of an Idea. This is not so much a quality of a good script, but rather an interesting stage in the creative process. Minsan ang germ of an idea na rin ang puwedeng gawin mong premise ng kuwentong ide-develop mo. May eksena kasing muntik nang malaglag sa blimp si Mr. Frederickson, pero ang tuluyang nahulog papunta sa Amazon Jungle below ay isang metal chair. Tinugma ko siya sa isang article na nabasa ko kamakailan tungkol sa isang German teenaged woman na naka-survive sa isang plane crash sa Amazon, at nakapaglakad palabas ng gubat. Naisip ko kung sa paglalakad niya ay biglang may bumagsak na metal chair sa dinaraanan niya, ano kayang kuwento ang mabubuo sa kanyang utak? Maisiip kaya niyang galing iyon sa isang bahay na pinalipad ng isang matandang biyudo sa pamamagitan ng mga lobo? Nakakatuwa lang isipiang maaaring ang buong ideya ng Up ay nagmula sa germ na “kung may mahanap kang metal chair sa gitna ng Amazon Rainforest, paano kaya ‘yun napunta ru’n?”

4. Commercial Appeal. Isa pang naiisip kong dapat i-discuss sa mga estudyante ko ang biases ko bilang isang writer, ang aking sensibilities, ang aking creative leanings, at aesthetic sense. Mahirap mang i-verbalize talaga ‘to fully pero siguro importanteng malaman nilang hindi lang ako ang maaaring magsabi ng maganda at panget na script, bagama’t sa classroom setting ay magiging ganu’n halos ang patakaran. Sasabihin ko sa kanilang in the end rules are meant to be broken, that the role of the artist/writer is to keep pushing the envelope, keep re-writing the rulebook, pero para ma-execute ‘yun masterfully, kailangan munang malaman kung ano nga ba ang rules in the first place. Commercial movies and TV programs are strongly grounded on the rules, kaya sila may appeal sa manonood. Most of the examples that I can initially show as stellar examples of good writing, then, are pretty commercial works, ‘yun din kasi ang inaakala kong pinakapamilyar sa pinakamarami sa kanila so magiging mas madali ang discussion.

Now, please email sa egroup the premise for an animated feature that you would write. Class dismissed.

Bakit Laman ng Showbiz Central si Cory?

2009-08-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

Alam ko wala sa inyong nanood dahil exclusive nga naman ng The Buzz si Kris Aquino kaya i'm posting our prologue on our Cory Aquino tribute...

Si Cory ay hindi artista. ‘Di tulad ng ibang nasa pulitika, hindi siya kailanman umarte para sa isang pelikula o TV show.
Ngunit nakikiisa ang mundo ng showbiz sa kanyang pagpanaw…

Kumpara sa mga kapritsong proyekto para sa sining ng administrasyong pinalitan niya, binatikos din noon si Cory sa tila pagbabawalang-bahala raw niya noon sa sining at kultura.
Subalit ang kanyang respetadong pamumuno ang nagbigay-daan upang lumago ang mass media ngayon.

Showbiz Central pays tribute to the Philippines’ and Southeast Asia’s first female president, dahil kung tutuusin, ang kanilang kabuhayan ay malaki ang utang na loob kay Cory ng bawat isa sa aming nasa industriya.

Ang kanyang katapangan at sakripisyo ang nagdulot ng panunumbalik ng ating “freedom of speech, press, and of expression.” Ito ang pinagmumulan ng bawat babasahin, awitin, sayaw, TV show, live performance, at pelikulang nae-enjoy ninyo bilang manonood.

Minsan ding hinamon ni Tita Cory ang press freedom nang magsampa siya ng kasong libelo laban sa isang pahayagan.
Isa itong paalala sa amin na ang bawat karapatan ay may kaakibat na responsibilidad sa kapwa, at sa bayan.

Para sa lahat ng ito, taus-puso ang pasasalamat namin sa isang huwarang babae, at huwarang Pilipino…ang ating Tita Cory, former President Maria Corazon C. Aquino.

The Kindness of Strangers

2009-07-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”
- A Streetcar Named Desire

Hindi ko pa napapanood ang play/film na’yan pero alam ko ang quote dahil sa isang episode ng The Simpsons ay nagbida si Marge sa play na’to at binanggit niya ang dialogue na akmang-akma sa mga naranasan ko.

1. I have never been fond of maids, maliban na lang kay Ate Mely na kinalakihan ko. Ang mga sumunod sa kanyang kasambahay namin ay hindi ko na masyado kinakausap; ni hindi ko rin sila inuutusan. Ewan, I really don’t know how to deal with them kaya hindi ko na lang sila pinapansin - like they don’t exist. Pero I remember one kasambahay, kahit pa nalimutan ko na ang kanyang pangalan, ang hihintayin muna akong gumising bago siya kumain para raw may kasabay akong mag-almusal dahil malungkot daw ang kumain nang mag-isa. Ako lang ever ang pang-hapon sa’ming magkakapatid kaya hindi ko nakakasabay ang buong pamilya na mag-almusal, at wala na sila by the time I wake up.

2. May isang high school student na naka-brush up ang buhok ang nagtawid sa’kin sa kalsada nu’ng minsang nakalimutan akong sunduin sa school ni Ate Mely kaya naglakas-loob akong maglakad pauwi mula sa pre-school na pinapasukan ko. Alam ko sa uniporme niya na nag-aaral siya sa isang school na may reputasyong mga gago ang estudyante.

3. Nu’ng bago pa lang ako sa GMA, nag-show kami sa Cebu. Sa SuperFerry ako na-assign sumakay pauwi but one staff member na hindi ko na maalala ang pangalan ang giniv-up ang kanyang plane ticket para sa akin. That would become my first plane ride ever.

4. I was in Megamall at may imi-meet ako pero biglang namatay ang baterya ko. A lady loaned me her cellphone battery.

5. I wrongly led a trail of cars into a single lane one-way street. Hindi na’ko makaatras kasi ang dami-daming obstacles na kotseng naka-park on both sides tapos trak pa’yung nasa likod ko tapos ang only opening would involve backing up and parallel parking into a space further back. The dad driving the Revo na naharangan ko volunteered to maneouver my car for me. (Ito nakakahiyang i-admit.)

Muntik na ba Akong Nabiktima?

2009-07-07T00:46:00.000-07:00

Kaninang 2:15PM (July 9, 2009/Tues) ay nagmadali akong umalis ng GMA (EDSA cor Timog) galing sa meeting dahil gusto kong i-take advantage ang coding window. Ang next meeting ko kasi ay 6PM so naisip kong sa bahay na lang muna magpalipas ng oras.

For some reason I decided to take a different route going home to Santolan, Pasig. Walang hassle naman akong nakabaybay ng EDSA, umabot sa kanto ng Camp Crame't Aguinaldo at nag-U-turn slot papunta ng Boni Serrano which will lead to Katipunan/White Plains, down to Libis where there's a new highway connecting directly to Santolan/Marikina.

Na-traffic ako sa Boni Serrano pero OK lang. Then a red Mazda drove right beside me and honked. Nasa passenger side. Nu'ng binaba ko ang window, isang mamang medyo maitim, maikli buhok at naka-fatigue shirt ang nagsabing, "Ako 'yung nabangga mo sa 4th Avenue." Tumigil ako. Tapos hinambalang niya 'yung kotse niya sa harap ko at bumaba. Hindi ako bumaba kasi kinutuban na'ko dahil wala naman akong naaalalang dinaanang 4th Avenue, at mas lalong wala akong naalalang nabangga, ni nasanggi man lang, o maski na-close call na akala ko hindi ko nahaging 'yun pala'y heto't nabangga ko nga.

Bumaba siya sa kotse at tinuturo ang driver's side bumper ko with an expression na parang kitang-kita ang bangga. Pero duda talaga ako so I refused to go down the car. I immediately wore my GMA ID. Pumunta siya sa bintana ko. Upset siya. "Taga-GMA ka? Kakilala ko sina Toto at Keempee ru'n." Wala akong kilalang Toto, pero kilala ko si Keempee pero 'di nga lang close. Sabi ko lang talagang wala akong maalalang nabanggang kotse.

"May mga witnesses."
"Tinuro 'tong Trooper mo."
"Nabangga mo ru'n sa 4th Avenue, sa maraming shop."
"Punta tayo ru'n."

'Yun 'yung mga naalala kong statements niya sa'kin. Tinatawagan ko ang aking ever-reliable Kuya Ryan pero cannot be reached. So daddy ko ang natawagan ko. I said meron ngang nagke-claim na may nabangga ako pero wala naman akong maalala. Ayokong bumaba ng kotse. Ano'ng gagawin ko?" "Pupuntahan kita d'yan," sagot naman ni Dad.

Nag-usap pa kami he insisted na, "Umamin ka na galing kang 4th Ave (du'n nga raw sa maraming shop)" at nahaging ko nga raw. Nu'ng tinanong ko kung ano 'yung nabangga ko. Sabi niya Mazda raw na kakulay ng Mazda niya, na when I think about it now, parang kanina ang impression ay 'yung mismong sinasakyan niya ang nabangga ko so ngayon parang there's another car pala and he just gave chase. Hindi rin niya ma-explain kung saan ang 4th Ave. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung saan 'yun so iniisip ko talaga kung meron nga bang posibilidad na may nahaging ako kahit na ang alam ko ay EDSA lang talaga ang dinaanan ko.

Tinanong ko pa kung 'yung mga pulis na naandu'n na naka-motor ay mga kasama niya kasi para ngang kasama niyang dumating 'yung mga patrol, eh. Sabi niya, "Hindi, 'yang mga 'yan naga-assist ng mga VIP." Then he was insisting na we go back to 4th Avenue so I could see for myself the car that I supposedly hit.

Then sinabi ko nga sa mama na sandali lang kasi may darating lang na crew ng GMA du'n. "Nagpa-news ka pa?" "Standard po kasi sa'min kapag ganu'n...Hintayin lang po natin, wala pong problema sa'kin." Then he said, "Sige ako rin, hanapin ko 'yung mga witnesses." Then he went to his car and drove off.

Naghintay pa'ko ru'n nang ilang saglit kasi baka nga meron talaga akong nabangga. Tumawag na'ko sa kaibigan kong si Adrian Ayalin ng ABS-CBN News and I consulted if he's heard of a modus operandi like this. Sabi niya ang alam niya 'yung taong nagkukunwaring nabunggo mo, ganu'n. Then sabi niya pupuntahan din daw niya ako para may istorya. So sabi ko sige. After a while I called up my dad and said na umalis na 'yung mama, should I leave na rin? "'Di umalis ka na nga! Kita na lang tayo sa Riverbanks."

Bahala na kung talagang nabangga ko siya, sinunod ko si Dad. Tinawagan ko rin si Adrian na 'wag nang pumunta kasi nga pinaalis na rin ako ng tatay (besides lalo akong nakakatrapik du'n.) Ninenerbiyos pa'ko na baka biglang may humabol na naman sa'kin at mukha akong tumatakas pero nakarating naman akong Riverbanks nang maluwalhati. I went down and checked my car, wala namang bangga, not a scratch.

Adrian learned na sa 4th Avenue nga ay maraming pagawaan ng sasakyan. Naisip tuloy namin na kung sumama ako baka meron na ngang kotseng inaayos du'n tapos ike-claim nilang dahil ako ang nakabangga ay dapat bayaran ko, at dahil nasa teritoryo nila ako, wala na'kong magagawa kundi magbayad...Nakakatakot!

'Wag n'yo na lang ipakalat 'to through cut-and-paste at baka magmukha lang siyang hoax. Just direct your friends to this site para makita talaga nilang hindi lang gawa-gawa ito.

Things I Look Forward To...

2009-06-23T09:13:00.001-07:00

To Thursday, when I fly to Cebu for a hectic yet exciting work in a different city.

To next Tuesday, when my friends and I enjoy wine-all-you-can for only P600.

To next week, when I hopefully receive Mikey's cards sent through snail mail kasi hindi nga raw siya "email person." Haven't received any of those in a while...

To the week after that, when I can finally go on 2-hour run training. Hopefully outdoors because putting in the mileage in the threadmill because of inclement weather just isn't the same.

To the end of July, when I can finally try on the custom-made trisuit that Ige Lopez/T1 has made.

To August, when I fly to Naga with my parents who shall watch me race for the first time... to August 23, when I become part of the history at the very first Philippine Ironman 70.3.

To August 24, when I can finally get the rest i deserve.

To October 9-11, when the UP Dragonboat Team competes in its very first regatta outside the country in more than a decade...probably my very first trip abroad, too.

To the end of October, when Mikey finally comes home, walks through my door, and I give him a big, big hug. And as I hold tight his tall and lanky frame, I look up and see him giving me that cute clipped smile I find myself mimicking whenever I miss him.

To December 25, the 4th Annual Rey-Pen Birthday Party! May naisip na kaming title kanina: FOURgy Na'to!

***

To our wedding day... How will we be able to pull that off?

To the distant future...Aren't you excited to see how everything will turn out? Sabi naman nila 80% of the things you worry about will never happen so I guess it's gonna be a bright and happy future naman.

To death...or better yet, to the afterlife...to that big talk with my God and ikukuwento niya ang kanyang blow-by-blow analysis ng aking buhay... The rationale for the circumstances He gave me, where I made a wrong turn, the people I've wronged but I'm not aware of, the people whose love made a difference in my life...'Di ba ang saya ng inumang 'yun?

Sige tulog na'ko. Can't wait for tomorrow!

Cerulean

2009-06-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you to http://www.whysanity.net/monos/prada.html for this. It saved my life since those corporate shits have decided to go after a mere fan who posted this favorite scene from "The Devil Wears Prada" in Youtube in the name of "intellectual property rights."

Miranda and her assistants are deciding between two similar belts for an outfit. Andy sniggers because she thinks they look exactly the same.

Miranda Priestly:
Something funny?

Andy Sachs:
No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.

Miranda Priestly:
This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean.

You're also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers.

Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic "casual corner" where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of "stuff."

Aside from adherence to "fashion psychology," this monologue really strikes a chord because I sometimes find myself around people who don't think writing for Philippine entertainment TV shows is a "noble" job, much like how Kris Aquino laments comments like, "Ateneo graduate ka naman. You're smart. Bakit ganyan ang trabaho mo?"

Unfortunately I do not have a Miranda Priestleyesque reply to such condescension. Sabi nga nila, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Just let it be known that if you start on it, I might take offense and bahala ka na lang kung paano mag-react (which would depend on my mood).

I remember a recent conversation with a researcher from the Inquirer. Ang most viewed column daw sa Inquirer website ay 'yung kay Dolly Ann Carvajal. "Eh, nakakahiya namang i-declare na'yun ang most viewed site kaya ang ginawa na lang kinategorize na lang namin na ito 'yung Most Viewed Business Column, Most Viewed Showbiz Column..." Nag-react talaga ako ng: "Ano ang nakakahiya ru'n?"

Of course he was eventually able to explain himself; that he used the wrong word and that what he meant was Inquirer just didn't want their news website to be a showbiz website, as opposed to the credible (though sometimes maligned) PEP.ph. Valid naman. Pero napaka-valid ding insight (na dapat naisip ng researcher na'to) na the very people who read Inquirer are also interested in showbiz affairs, and they shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed about that.

The Simple Joy ng Paglamon

2009-05-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Para i-offset ang kanegahan ng aking mga recent blogs, let’ talk about something really pleasurable this time…PAGKAIN.

Though, sisimulan ko pa rin yata sa nega dahil napapansin ko na ang talagang pinakamasasarap na pagkain ay napakahirap nang i-enjoy ngayon nang walang halong guilt. Ang crispy bacon, dayap chiffon cake ng Chocolate Kiss, lechong paksiw, thin-crust pizza ng Shakey’s, Chickenjoy, Goldilocks ube/mocha/choclate roll, Lucky Me instant pancit canton, Ilocos Empanada, lechong kawali, Tater’s cheese popcorn with extra butter, at Wendy’s large fries with extra mayonnaise ay nakaka-guilty sa bilbil.

Ang peking duck, Mary Grace toasted ensaymada, Gonuts Donuts glazed donut lite, penne al’alfonso ng Cibo, fresh anchovies sa Barcino, chicken diabolo at tinapa ravioli ng Bellini’s ay nkaka-guilty naman sa bulsa.

Pero masarap, eh. Kaya pagkain ang isinisisi ng aking personal trainer kung bakit daw sa mahigit isang taon nang pagji-gym ay hindi ko pa rin naa-achieve ang aking goal body. Hmp! Kung talagang magaling siya, at sa mahal ng ibinabayad ko, dapat nagagawan niya ng paraan, no! Sa totoo lang, matagal ko na talagang kino-consider magpa-lipo kasi maalis lang ang salbabida ko happy na’ko sa katawan ko. Feeling ko makukuha ko na. Takot lang ako sa matagal at painful na recuperation period daw nito, saka siyempre magastos. Hmmm…nagbaba na kaya ng presyo ang Belo in light of the scandals?

In fairness, when I’m in training humihina ang appetite ko to a reasonable level. Pero mukhang hindi pa rin sapat ‘yun to make-up for the Christmas season na hindi na nga ako nagte-train so lalo pang lumalakas ang kain ko. Genetic na talga ‘tong taba ko kasi ang dami ko nang activities, no. Ang iba d’yan, gawin lang ang kalahati ng ginagawa ko for a short period of time may hints na ng abs. Ako talaga wala. Shit! Ang tunay na lalake, WALANG ABS! Besides, mas kukupal pa siguro akong tao kung nagka-Marky Mark abs pa’ko. So ang ipag-pray n’yo na lang ay sa kaunti pang training, at malaking disiplina sa pagkain ay magkaroon ako ng kahit na Aljur Abrenica abs man lang. ‘Yun lang happy na’ko.

Pero masarap talaga kumain, eh. Sabi nga ng isang may-lahing Pilipino pero lumaki sa Amerikang bagong actistic director yata ng Ballet Philippines, nagugulat daw siya sa willingness ng mga Pinoy na gawin lahat basta nakakain sila nang maayos. Hmmm…kung sabagay, gawin mo na sa’kin ang lahat ng pang-aalipusta, ‘wag mo lang akong gutumin. Saka ang pagkain nga, as soooo many anthropologists and whatevergists have noted, ay bahagi na talaga ng lahat ng aspketo ng kultura natin. Kaya isang malaking isyu talaga dati sa GMA nu’ng biglang naging strict sa food expenses kapag meetings at shoots. Findings daw kasi ng isang foreign firm na hinire ng management na isang napakalaking expense daw ng kumpanya ang pagkain. Obviously, mga foreigner nga sila para maging kamangha-mangha sa kanila ang expenses natin, or the mere thought na kailangang kumakain habang nagmi-meeting “lang.” Humupa na pero hindi tuluyang matatahimik ang kontrobersya sa food policy and I think it’s because to a certain extent, it challenges how Filipinos work and live.

On the other extreme naman, naging uncomfortable din naman ako dati sa work environment ng isang kumpanyang pinagraketan ko nu’n. Masarap at madami ang mga pagkaing lutong-bahay pa! Sa bahay mismo ng mag-asawang may-ari ng kumpanya. Ang feeling ko tuloy naka-hostage ako, na “Putang ina! Mag-isip ka ngayon dahil pinakain kita!” Ang weird lang.

At a recent wine-and-cheese party (WINE AND CHEESE?!) ay nagtatanungan kami ng kung anu-anong pa-profound shit about each other. I forgot the question pero ang sagot ko something like me loving the fact that when I eat at my parents’ house I don’t have to worry about paying for my meal. Hindi nga naman kasi exactly libre ang mga pagkain sa meeting kasi you are still expected to work for it. Sa bahay, niluto na nang may pagmamahal, sigurado ka pang mahal na mahal ka ng mga kasalo mo. Nai-imagine ko tuloy ang mommy ko kapag naka-blouse at shorts (never daw siyang magsusuot ng bestida/daster kasi baduy daw ‘yun) at nakataas pa ang isang paa sa upuan habang kumakain kami ng pritong galunggong at labong na may saluyot. ‘Yang ang tunay na SARAP na walang anumang guilt!

(This blog entry is brought to you by Maggi Magic Sarap and Knorr Real Sarap)

Modern Pet Peeve: EXTREME Camwhoring

2009-05-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Except for a small period when I was applying for the UP Mountaineers when I got a Kodak KB10 so I can take great photos of Mt. Pulag, I never owned a camera. Even the cameras in my cellphones were rarely, rarely used. OK lang naman kasi ang dami namang photography enthusiasts sa UPM so well-documented naman ang mga climbs ko, du’n na lang ako kumukuha.

Nu’ng naging digital, halos lahat na rin may cameras so wala na ring problema. Ang advantage nga ng wala kang camera, ikaw ang laging nasa mga picture kesa du’n sa mga kumukuha siyempre. Mas lalo pang napadali ang mga buhay nating nagkaroon ng mga social networking sites na’yan. Grab lang nang grab.

Masaya naman talaga magpiktsuran…

But lately, this trend has reached irritating proportions. Na-realize ko ‘to nang nasa isang party ako recently (rowers!) at hala walang tigil ang pag-flash ng camera. OK lang naman sa simula, siyempre, pero walang tigil talaga! As in lahat ng tao parang si Princess Diana na dapat bawat kilos makunan. Hindi ba puwedeng mag-enjoy naman tayo nang walang kuha nang kuha ng pictures? Like, have you been in a situation na ang saya-saya n'yong nagpo-pose ng picture tapos lahat ng lang ng tao ipapasa 'yung camera nila du'n sa kumukuha tapos nagiging chore na'yung pagngiti kasi nga ang tagal na nang piktsuran! Kaya nga may Multiply/Facebook or whatever para puwede namang mag-share ng photos, 'di ba? Kailangan ba nasa camera mo mismo ang mukha ng mga taong ngawit na sa kangingiti?

Tumindi pa ngayon dahil usung-uso na nga ang SLR. Warning, bichy comment: Marunong kasi akong mag-drawing kaya siguro matagal-tagal kong na-grasp ang concept na art ang photography kasi parang wala namang kailangang masyadong skill haha. Point and shoot lang naman ang concept ko nu'n sa photography. Ngayon pinagsisisihan ko nang hindi ko kinuhang elective ‘to sa college. But now, ewan ko parang nagiging instamatic na lang ang SLR sa’kin because just about anybody who can afford it has those big, bulky high-end digital cameras. (Minsan nga kahit hindi afford, you’d be surprised at the great lengths these enthusiasts – some would say “posers” – would go through just to save up for the latest SLR accessory.) Ngayong nagkalat na ang mga photographers, nagbunga ngayon ito ng talagang mas naakaasar na behavior na extreme camwhoring.

At that same party, there was this group of boys(!) na mula nang dumating sila hanggang sa umalis ako hours after ay hindi na nagsawa sa kaiisip ng mga bagong poses at facial expressions para kunan ng cameras! I don’t get it. Meron na bang bagong party ngayon, ang posing party? Just look at how many personal sites are out there filled with “professionally photographed” portraits.Poser models for poser photographers.

Ack!

Aanhin ang Ganda, Kung ang Ka-meeting Basura?

2009-05-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Na-realize kong naniniwala pala ako sa fashion psychology. Hindi ko alam kung meron talagang ganu’ng term, pero ‘yun ‘yung paniniwala kong your clothes and haircut will determine your behavior, and how people perceive and treat you.

Kaya pala napapa-nod ako sa monologue ni Meryll Streep sa The Devil Wears Prada where she calmly lambasts her assistant for acting like she’s “exempt from the fashion industry” when the sad cerulean jacket she was wearing “was chosen for her…from a pile of stuff” by people in fashion. Maglalagay sana ako ng link sa youtube nu’ng scene na sinasabi ko kaso na-delete na pala sa favorites ko due to “copyright claims from fox.” Putsa talagang mga greedy corporate intellectural property rights kuno faking shit ng mga kanong ‘yan, o! Malimas sana kayo ng swine flu! (Pasensya na, alam ko bad joke pero nanggagalaita lang talaga ako at hindi ko na mapapanood ang napakaikli at profound na eksenang ‘yun! Grrr!)

Anyway….

Such a eureka moment na ma-identify mo ang isang bagay na matagal mo na palang pinaniniwalaan at pina-practice. Natutunan ko siguro ‘to sa aking mommy monster na isang babaeng mahilig mag-ayos. Ang kanyang teaching na kinowt pa nina Gelli de Belen-Rivera at Carmina Villaroel, “Sa panahon ngayon, kapag ang babae panget, kasalanan na niya.”

Importante ang substance, ang talent, ang galing. Pero dapat ma-convey mo ang mga kakayahan mo sa mga taong dapat maka-gets nito.

Meron akong mga nakatrabaho noon na isang babaeng direkto, at isang babaeng TV executive. Parehong matangkad, tisay, long hair, sosyal ang dating, galing sa sosyal na schools, matatalino, ‘yung isa dati pang model. Pero ewan, gusto yatang ipakitang kaya nilang maging successful at karespe-respeto nang hindi dahil sa maganda sila kaya hayun kung magbihis parang magra-rally sa Mendiola. Panget! I’m sorry, hindi kaaya-ayang katrabaho ang ganu’n. I mean, nage-effort akong magpaganda tuwing haharap ako sa kanila, tapos ang makaka-brainstorm ko lang pala basura?
Hindi ako mababaw. Sabi nga fashionista kong master sa org ko sa UP na si Peachy, “Don’t judge a book by its cover…but packaging counts.”

Sobra akong naa-appreciate ‘yung mga babaeng nag-aayos. Marami akong kakilala na mataba, o kaya maitim, meron pang panget talaga sa paningin ko pero alam i-play-up kung anumang kakaunting ibinigay sa kanila in the looks department. May mata sa pagpili ng mga damit – and mind you, not necessarily mamahalin at branded – kaya nilang mag-accessorize, hindi sila takot mag-experiment, o magsuot ng mga pieces na usually ipinagbabawal na isuot ng mga tulad nila pero kering-keri nila. So kapag pumapasok sila sa kuwarto, alam mo agad na, “Ay, hindi mo mababasta-basta ‘tong taong ‘to.”

Nu’ng college my mom would even discourage me from wearing shorts to school kasi nga raw kapag naka-shorts ka, mare-relax ka masyado, baka hindi ka na makapag-concentrate sa pag-aaral. ‘Yung German mom naman ng isa kong kaibigan ayaw siyang naka-skinhead kasi napapansin daw niyang mas aggressive ang son niya kapag naka-gupit-electric chair. So long hair siya hanggang ngayon at name-mellow daw siya nito.

In sports, studies have shown that umpires “see red.” When a match is too close to call, umpires would more often favor the competitor in red. Sikreto kaya ‘yan ng China? Another study showed that in hockey games, the team in black or in the darker colored uniform tends to be more aggressive and rough.

A recent startling way na nagamit ko ang fashion psychology was when I was up for a promotion over a year ago. Nu’ng nalaman kong may opening, inisip ko na puwede ako sa trabahong ‘yun, so tinanggal ko ang Havaianas sa’king work attire, and in-upgrade ko ang aking wardrobe. Nagbihis ako as if I am already in that position I am eyeing. I was hired shortly after.

Mga Naiisip Habang Umiihi

2009-05-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sulit ba ang pagbabakbak at pagdi-discard ng mga perfectly functional flush urinals para palitan ng mga “waterfree” ones? Bakit hindi na lang in-off ‘yung tubig sa mga urinal na’yun? Bilib ako sa sales team ng Falcon ang dami nilang nagoyong malalaking kumpanya, expensive restaurants, and modern buildings eh ilang dekada nang naka-waterfree ang UP.

Who needs second names? Napaisip ako because an expectant friend has apparently found the perfect boy name for her baby pero naghahanap pa rin daw siya ng second name. I think it helps me a lot that without my second name, my “full name” is catchy, memorable, rolls easily in the tongue, and has sounds like who I am – reyagapay.

If two men get married, how will that destroy a straight couple’s union? If a gay couple decides to adopt a straight couple’s unwanted child, and raise that child as their own, how is that a threat to the basic unit of society?

Gusto kong hagisan ng granada ang Aruba Bar nang naka-gown, heels, at bonggang-bonggang hair and make-up. Sino gustong ayusan ako?

Nakakabanas si Martin Nievera. Pero nakakabanas ang mga sangay ng gobyernong walang magawa kundi mag-overreact! It’s a song! Mas marami pang tao sa gobyerno ang dapat multahan, ikulong, patayin dahil sa pambababoy nila sa ating bansa.

Ang dami ko nang ginawa pero hindi pa rin gumaganda katawan ko. Sabi ni Chino , at least nagagawa ko ‘yung mga nagagawa ko. Dilemma ba’to? Fit pero fat o ampaw pero lean? Ngayon, mas gusto ko na lang magkaroon ng katawang pang-display, tutal masarap din naman ‘yung pa-display-display lang.

Bakit despite his tremendous achievements gusting-gusto ko pa rin ni Manny Pacquiao na maging pulitiko? Hindi ba niya nari-realize na that’s a big, big step backwards from who he is now? Well, kapag masyado ka kasing malapit hindi mo nga naman nakikita ang big picture so dapat ilayu-layo na natin sina Atienza, Chavit, at Mike Arroyo sa kanya.

Ang OA ng Amerika. Kapag naghihirap na sila dahil sa kagaguhan nila, global recession na. Kapag may isa sa kanilang nilagnat at namatay, literal na second to the highest level na ang pandemic rating. Kelangan ba nating problemahin ang lahat ng problema ng mga whiny asses na’to? ‘Wag nga tayong maniwala. Kaya nila ‘yan. Mas matindi nga ang tinitiis natin everyday pero ang gaganda pa rin natin.

But then again sabi nga ni Cindy Kurleto, a hot model who has been around the world, and is now based in Peru with her rich boyfriend, plano pa rin niyang bumalik at mag-settle down sa Pilipinas in the future. Ang sagot niya sa startled “but why?” ng press: “You guys don’t realize how much you have it good there.”

Si Rey Agapay ay Tunay na Lalake

2009-05-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Galeng ako sa Boracay dahil ang tunay na lalake hindi sa Puerto Galera nagbi-beach!

Isang linggo ako ru’n, walang pakialam sa trabaho dahil ang tunay na lalake, tambay!

Si Ace ang nagwawalis ng kuwarto namin, at nagtitiklop ng mga damit kong nakakalat sa kama dahil ang tunay na lalake burara!

Ngayon, mukha akong ulikba dahil ang tunay na lalake hindi nagsa-sunblock, lalo na sa mukha!

Hindi ako nag-fine dining-fine dining du’n, pero iba’t ibang inumin ang nilagok ko, breakfast hanggang madaling araw dahil ang tunay na lalake lasenggo!

Andu’n talaga ako sa Boracay kasi may karera ang UP Dragonboat Team dahil ang tunay na lalake hindi nagbabakasyon para mag-“relax” lang, dapat may ginagawang adbentsur!

Tinalo namin ang Ati Bugsay at ang Boracay All-Stars sa 500-meter races. Importante ‘yun sa’kin dahil ang tunay na lalake may arch-enemies!

Kaya nu’ng inalon kami nu’ng semis kaya't sila pa ang nakapasok sa finals at hindi kami sa 300-meter races the next day, sumama ang loob ko dahil ang tunay na lalake instense…pero hindi ako nagpakita ng emosyon dahil ang tunay na lalake hindi umiiyak!

Binuhos ko na lang ang sama ng loob ko sa post-race dinner. Nakipag-unahan ako sa buffet table, sumingit sa pila, hindi pinauna ang mga babaeng teammates, at binundok ang plato ng lahat ng ulam, at umulit-ulit pa dahil ang tunay na lalake masiba!

Tapos maya-maya parang sumakit na tiyan ko. Pumuslit na’ko sa hotel, naglakad papunta sa iniisteyan namin dahil ang tunay na lalake walang pakialam kahit mabasa siya ng ulan!

Hiningi ko ‘yung susi sa front desk, dali-dali akong umakyat ng hagdan papunta sa kuwarto pero naabutan ako bago pa man ako nakapasok ng pinto pero ok lang dahil ang tunay na lalake, may tae sa brip.

True Shit Stories (Stories that make you go, "Sheeeeet.")

2009-04-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

He likes her. He’s always liked her. Who wouldn’t? She’s hot. But the months that passed into years have only proven his fears that she is way beyond his reach. She’s smart, sexy, athletic, gorgeous. He has a nice bod, mild-mannered, handsome. But somehow he never sees himself good enough for her. So he just satisfied himself with being a good pal, always there at the sides, but never taking central spot in her attention. Then after yet another wild drinking session with the team, he found himself alone with her, the last two standing. He helped her clean her party place of an apartment, picking up bottles, washing glasses, putting things in order. It was almost 4am when they finished. She thanked him and insisted that he stay like the other drunks. He just said he had to go home, but as soon as he stepped out of the gate he started cursing himself. He walked down the street and then allowed whatever left of the alcohol in his bloodstream to wash away all his fears and apprehensions. He walked back, knocked on the door. She thought he left something, but that solid expression on his face told her he came back for something far more important. “Alam mo naman ‘di bang…” She could not remember how he finished that sentence, but she still remembers that they kissed that morning.

He is much older than her. And married. And he has a kid. OK, separated. He’s a good guy but somehow her friends, even his friends, think she’s better off in a less complicated relationship. After so many years he finally got an annulment. They’re getting married soon. Everyone’s happy for them, after all, despite his baggage, nobody doubted that he’s a good guy, not the perfect guy, but good. And good might be all that we need anyway. “There were far bigger problems about the relationship so we never sweat the small stuff,” she explains about how she managed to stay by her man despite everything. “Ang dami-dami na nga nga naming concerns para lang maging together, magagalit pa ba ako kapag na-late siya?”

A coward soul asks: Do we win love if we are brave? Or we become brave because we are in love?

Re-thinking

2009-04-08T01:22:00.000-07:00

How different are the Filipinos leaving this country to work abroad from my parents who left their provinces to find a better life in Manila? I do not feel that my dad is any less Bicolano - and my mom Ilocano - just because they chose to settle in Marikina.

***
Favorite ko ang Goldilocks. Minsan bumibili ako ng half-roll ng brazo de mercedes, o mocha, o chocolate tapos ‘yun ang kakainin ko sa sinehan. But my mom recently revealed that Goldilocks does not honor senior citizen cards. Sa pan de sal lang daw. Sabi nga ng mommy ko, “porque ba senior citizen hindi na puwedeng kumain ng cake?” So mula ngayon, Red Ribbon na ang kakainin ko. Ube-macapuno roll! Yum!

***
If you have it good, shouldn’t you feel that God wants you to do something for others? But what? I’ve read that one way of finding your life’s purpose is writing down everything you think is your purpose in life. And the entry that makes you cry, that is your purpose. Hmmm…

Gago Fashion

2009-03-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

Nakakatawa ang fashion dahil madalas ang uso ngayon ay minsan tinuring nating baduy. Kuwento ng sister ko, nu’ng nag-aaral siya sa CEU eh pinagtatawanan nila ang mga Korean students na ang lalaki ng mga bag na nakakapit sa katawan nila. Ilang buwan lang ang lumipas at naka-body bag na rin siya.

Nu’ng early 90’s nagbalikbayan ang pinsan kong amboy. Pinagtatawanan naming siya ng mga kapatid ko kasi kung gigimik kami paloob niya tinutupi ang pantalon niya. Eventually, months after niyang bumalik ng San Diego, paloob na rin ang pagtupi ng maon. Of course ngayon rekomendado na ang ipaputol mo na lang sa tamang length ang jeans mo. Malapit-lapit na ang panahong pataasan naman ng tupi ng pantalon ang mangyayari. Alam ko kasi ganu’n na ang nasa fashion spreads ng Garage Magazine (the most fashion forward Philippine glossy for men), at last week lang ay nag-live interview si John Lloyd nang naka-pedal pusher! Oo, mukha siyang gago ngayon pero ako lang inuunti-unti ko nang itaas ang tupi ng pantaloon kahit hindi siya traditionally recommended sa mga hindi katangkaran (lalo’t ‘yung mas mahahaba ang upper body).

Ang gusto ko talagang dagukan eh ‘yung nagpauso ng motorsiklo fashion na nakasukbit sa braso ‘yung helmet habang sumisingit-singit sa trapik. O mas gago ba’yung mga gumaya thinking na ang cool-cool nila? Normally wala akong pakialam kung ano ang trip mong suutin dahil may pagka-experimental din naman ako sa fashion (na siyempre may mga eksperimentong nagiging disastrous ang results) pero pucha naman, ang helmet sinusuot sa ulo, lalo na kung nagmomotor ka! Si Brad Pitt lang sa Benjamin Button ang guwapo enough na dapat pagbawalang mag-helmet ‘pag nagmomotor para makita ng lahat ang mukha niya. Pero ikaw, hindi uy! Suutin mo ‘yang helmet na’yan, gago, dahil mas mukha ka pang nagiging gago kung nagmo-motor ka, dinala mo pa’yung helmet mo tapos sinukbit mo lang. Para akong nag-bike tapos itutulak ko lang. Masabi lang na nag-bike ako?
Obviously ang utak mo ay not worth protecting kung in-effort mo lang sukbitin ang helmet sa braso mo habang nagmo-motor, but please ‘wag mo’kong idamay sa kabaduyan mo dahil kung nasanggit kitang gago ka ikaw ang mababagok ang ulo at ako pa ang makakasuhan!

So please, ipagbawal ang baduy sa kalsada!

R.E.M.

2009-03-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

The best band name has got to be R.E.M. Simple but not meaningless (like say, the names of the the two greatest bands of all time: the Beatles and the Eraserheads). They didn’t change have to take a word and change its spelling para magmukhang pambanda, and even the acronoym is an existing word.

It’s meaningful and yet it’s not pa-profound and pa-philosophical, dahil sila ang nauna sa isang actual scientific term to such a philosophical concept. REM, for rapid eye movement, refers to that stage in sleep when we dream. Asteeeg!

My Dad Supports Gay Fathers

2009-03-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

While I am not exactly out to my family, it is still refreshing that my dad, a former Catholic priest, now a retired educator, full-time painter, husband, and grandfather to my four pampangkins, has a very liberal view on homosexuality:

"The Church does not want homosexuals in priestly garb. This is understandable because many dioceses in USA have gone bankrupt paying up for the sins of their priests. But why are the homosexuals being singled out and discriminated?

I know of homosexual priests who are decent, respectable, and effective in their pastoral work.Some bishops I know are bading. The homosexual is not an evil person per se. But homosexual acts are immoral in most societies.

Both the he-man and the she-man are capable of doing wrong or doing good. So why prefer the former and kick the ass of the latter?

Some priests are saints. Some are sinners. And this is not because of their sexual orientation.

I shared this opinion with the viewers of Probe, Channel 2, last Wednesday, November 19, 2008. Sorry po, if you don't agree."

Dad's a book author so expect the rest of his blog to have a unique and fun senior citizen pov of our world.

Candidate #3: What is your Lucky Number?

2009-03-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was my very first time to be part of the staff of Bb. Pilipinas. Contrary to what people who know I'm a Miss Universe aficionado might think, I've never really been a fan of the pageant - or any other pageant at that. I like only the Miss Universe because it's well-written, crisp, and fast-paced. The rest, even the slightly bigger and older Miss World, just don't compare. Kaya nga dream writing job ko ang Miss U, bukod sa Oscars. (Oh, my gosh! Napanood n'yo ba'yung Oscars this year? Ang ganda-ganda ng pagkakasulat, 'di ba? But that's for another blog)

Pero honored na rin ako to be the only first-timer this year in the staff, when most of them have been doing this for more than a decade already. And if you have any complaints about the show, well, hindi lang mga taga-GMA ang nagdi-decide ng aesthetics ng show na'to sa Araneta, ehem...All in all, thrilled naman akong makapagsulat sa Bb. Pilipinas 2009. But it did come with a steep, steep price: missing the Eraserheads The Final Set Concert that night.

Kinabukasan, tuwa naman ako na pinag-uusapan ang isa sa mga questions na sinulat ko: ang naging downfall ng most popular candidate in this very competitive batch, Rich Asuncion. No less than world-renowned Spanish Betsy Westendorp de Brias asked her: "What is your lucky number, and what is its significance in your life?"

Now I just have to wait and see if it will stand the test of time like these other classic, often quoted pageant questions:

"If a man from the moon lands in your backyard, what would you do to make him feel at home?" (Miss Universe 1969)

"What is the essence of being a woman?" (Miss U 1994)

And my personal favorite: "What makes you blush?" (Miss Universe 2002)

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

usung-uso 'to sa facebook...

1. ayokong gawin 'to kasi parang nanana-narcissist-an ako sa kanya.

2. hindi ko kayang tumae nang walang binabasa kaya may magazine rack ako sa banyo. as in kahit nagmamadali akong umuwi nang bahay dahil lalabas na siya, mahahanap muna ako ng mababasa.

3. at habang tumatae ako, ayokong magbukas ng bibig. kapag may kumatok, sasgot lang ako ng "MMMM!" to indicate na may tao, feeling ko kasi papasok 'yung air molecules na may halong tae molecules. 'yoko ring makakita ng kahit na napakaliit ng speck ng tae na hindi sa'kin sa inidoro, nakakawalang-gana talaga!

4. Hindi ako kumakain ng pinya (pero 'yung nasa lata kaya ko), and most citrus fruits like orange, pomelo, suha...Hindi rin ako kumakain ng halo-halo, hopia, isaw. Trinay ko, believe me, pero hindi sila masarap!

5. i have two kuyas, and one younger sister. may kuyas were great basketball players nu'ng high school...kaya para maiba, nag-volleyball ako.

6. i regret telling my mom, "ma, i'd still go to the prom, ha." as her mother's (my grandmother) corpse was being picked up by the funeral parlor from our home. it was the height of insensitivity! (i didn't go to the prom)

7. nu'ng senior year sa marist, nag-leak ang exams sa buong batch. everyone was involved kasi pina-xerox for the whole batch, pinagsagutan sa mga honor students, at nang nadiskubre buong batch aligaga...except me. even my barkada then didn't bother me with the answers (eh kaya ko namang sagutin 'yun noh except siguro yung math) kasi anak ako ng teacher. i felt isolated na hindi ako maka-relate sa kanila. feeling ko ang corny-corny ko. hay!

8. i graduated "Best in Religion" sa Marist. Ang thesis ko sa UP won the Student Catholic Mass Media Award. Everybody sing Banal na Aso! hihihihihihi

9. "The right ear is the wrong ear" ang code na na-coin ni Rikki Lopez to remember kung aling tenga ko ang hindi nakakarinig. I'm 90% deaf in the right ear because I probably got sick when I was a kid. Docs advised against hearing aids kasi baka mas lalo ko lang daw maramdaman ang impairment ko kapag hindi ko 'yun suot eh "adjusted" na naman daw ako rito. Kapag naglalakad, i make sure everyone is to my left (boyfriends must remember this), at sa mesa dapat nasa far corner ako where everyone will be to my left, as well. Kapag tinawag mo ako sa daan di ko alam kung saan lilingon kasi I cannot distinguish where the sound is coming from, kahit maingay sa kuwarto, hihiga lang ako on my left at maba-block-out ko na ang noise, namamaga ang left ear ko kapag nagtetelebabad kasi nga hindi ko puwede ilipat sa kanang tenga. This may also explain kung bakit malakas ang boses ko, at kung bakit malakas ako huminga..hindi ko kasi naririnig kapag normal volume.

10. takot ako sa ahas, palakas, reptiles. kaya kong humiga sa kama na may mga tarantula, ipis, daga (pero hindi ko pa nata-try) pero kapag nalipat ko sa nat geo at eksaktong may footage ng ahas, nagfi-freakout ako.

11. kahit bakla, meron akong ideals kung paano ako dapat umasal bilang isang "tunay na lalake." bunga ng turo ng tatay ko, at ng mga nakita ko sa mga lalakeng hinahangaan ko. dapat ang lalake mabilis kumilos (kaya mabilis ako maglakad, maligo, etc). dapat ang lalake maaasahan, kapag sinabi niya paninindigan niya. dapat ang lalake hindi maarte, magsu-survive sa anumang sitwasyon na ibigay sa kanya. kaya que bakla, babae, o straight na lalake ka pa, i will be most impatient if you are not one of these things - kung mabagal ka, maraming walang kuwentang issues at baggage, unreliable, wishy-washy, at lahat na lang nirereklamo pero wala namang ginagawa.

12. starting last year ay nag-keep ako ng notebook where i jot down jokes na naiiaiisip ko. pero matagal ko nang hindi nasusulatan. katamad e.

13. ang pinakaimportanteng natutunan ko sa college ay 'wag na 'wag kang hindi matutulog kasi kahit maligo ka the next day, feeling mo mo nasusunog ka. hindi ka rin makaka-function nang maayos so useless din 'yung pagpupuuyat mo. kaya ako magaling akong mag-powernap, kahit 15 minutes lang mare-recharge na'ko.

14. isa akong living proof na totoo ang sex after-glow. my former housemate thea used to be able to tell if i had some last night kasi iba raw talaga ang glow ng mukha ko. some guys have even attested to the immediate results of that phenomenon.

15. kaya kong maging boyfriend na perfect shopping partner, 'yung tahimik lang na susunod sa babae na pupunta from one shop to another. minsan titingin-tingin ako, madalas uupo lang ako ru'n, magbibigay ng positive but honest opinion when asked about a merchandise, and through it all i will not grow impatient. natutunan ko 'to sa years of following my mother around the mall as a young boy. ako rin ang kasama niyang mamalengke at kilu-kilo talaga ang buhat ko pero ok lang.

16. hate ko ang usok ng yosi, ang nagyoyosi sa aircon rooms (napauso ko nga ang pag-assign ng smoking room kapag nagmi-meeting ang sop sa hotel kahit pa mas marami silang smokers), ang amoy ng bagong yosing tao tapos sasakay sa kotse, ang punung-punong ashtray, ang upos ng yosi sa leaftover food, ang smoker na laging nakiki-"bum", at ang smoker na laging walang lighter. yoko ring humalik ng kakayosi lang tapos nag-mints lang, ayoko rin kapag nangangamoy yosi ang damit ko dahil may mga smokers sa paligid!

17. grade 6 na'ko nu'ng nalaman kong nala-"lock" pala ang zipper if you put the panghila down, at nagtatrabaho na'ko't nag-aaply sa up mountaineers nang natutunan ko kung paano tamang magtali ng sintas nang hindi 'to natatanggal-tanggal. my grade school and high school files would show that my iq is only high average to above average, comparered to other lower ranked classmates in the top 10 na puro mga superior ang iq results!

18. meeting ko na, saka ko na 'to itutuloy.

***

19. My first car, Hans Ong, (which my friends say is the only car they know na may apelyido talaga) is named after a ka-batallion sa Medics ng UP-ROTC. He is a tall, smart, tahimik, pimply chinito na ‘di masyado cute pero sexy. Growl! (Hmmm…parang boyfriend ko?)

20. I’ve always thought that my longest serious relationship (with Toni) lasted but six months, but when I checked my 2007 planner, umabot pala kami ng 7th monthsary! Ngayon, I’m hoping this one with Mikey’s for ever. For one, up until the start of 2009 hindi ako naniniwalang kaya kong maging monogamous even while in a committed relationship, pero so far so good. I still don’t believe sexual monogamy is essential in a relationship, because sometimes sex is just sex at wala namang kaso ‘yung patikim-tikim d’yan on the side, but I’m getting the hang of traditional, conventional “ikaw lang, at tanging ikaw lang”. Masaya pala siya.

21. I order my mocha frap decaf kasi kung hindi, lalo na if I take it in the late afternoon na, hindi ako makakatulog. I think my body produces its own caffeine kaya nagkakape lang ako kapag kailangang-kailangan ko talagang maging extra-energetic.

22. I am pro-choice, not because I am pro-abortion, pero dahil naniniwala ako that illegalizing it creates a hostile community that unnecessarily stigmatizes a woman who unfortunately is faced with such a decision, while not given adequate and safe medical options. Wala namang buntis ang magdi-decide na magpa-abort nang wala-wala lang, eh. Kaya mas mabuti na if a woman deems it necessary to terminate a pregnancy, bigyan na lang natin siya nang sapat na counseling, at ligtas na medical treatment.

23. Meron akong sikretooo…big, dark sikreeeetooo…at hindi ko sasabihiiin! Bwahahahaha! (And I’m hoping hindi n’yo rin malalaman)

24. Hindi ako marunong sumipol, magpalobo ng bubble gum, magpalobo ng plastic balloon, magbalat ng butong-pakwan…at higit sa lahat, nafu-frustrate ako na hindi ako marunong kumanta. Napakarami kong naiisip na magagandang jokes/comedic routines na mapu-pull-off ko lang talaga kung kumakanta ako. My dad sings, though. Nagmana ako sa nanay ko. Hmp!

25. And finally, one irrefutable fact: I’M A BABY!

I realized, I realized I was wrong.

2009-02-05T08:53:00.000-08:00

After watching 'Milk', nag-research ako about Anita Bryant, the "villain" in the story who campaigned against gay rights in 1970's America. Ito ang isa sa mga unang lumabas when i googled her. And it's a very, very powerful image because it captures the tension of those times.

Tensyunadung-tensyado ako while watching the whole video na parang naandu'n ako mismo. As a gay man, nanggagalaiti pa rin ako just by hearing her rhetoric, and there was a carnal glee when that pie hit her right in the face (mas masarap sabihin sa tagalog: sapul sa mukha!)...then nabanas ulit ako sa kanyang banat na "at least it was a FRUIT pie"...at mas lalong nabanas nu'ng nagdasal sila: ‘yung pagtawag sa Father, 'yung nahirapang pagbanggit na "love" nila ang mga taong tulad ko, hanggang sa nag-break down sa pagsumamo sa deliverance namin mula sa isang “deviant lifestyle.”

Good thing she eventually did not prevail in the polls but her advocacy lives on today - during these open-minded times, in our free and democratic societies, among the more educated and successful.

I am not sure how straight people would react to this video, but a question that I myself asked speculates an answer: Isn’t it ironic that gay people hate Anita Bryant, whom they accuse of being hateful? This, I now realize, is the underlying question behind Faith’s reply when I castigated her for saying “Gay people should not exist.” She said, “Are you saying, sir, that I should change what I believe in?” This is also Isagani Cruz upholding his freedom of speech when rebuking the hatemails and hateblogs about his anti-gay column in 2006. Like so many, Faith and Isagani still harbor in their hearts prejudices against gays and think it is ok as long as they do not lash it out hatefully, or because they have gay friends. Para sa kanila hindi sila homophobic; tingin nila hindi sila bigot o sexist. Hindi nga naman kasi sila mananakit ng bakla just because bakla sila, kaya busilak pa rin ang puso nila.

Maraming mukhang malusog ang may sakit sa puso.

‘Wag na muna nating i-apply ang gay movement dito, I’m talking a general/theoretical situation: Kapag may nananakit, hindi ba’t dapat lang na dumating ang panahon na ang nasasaktan kailangan na ring saktan ang nananakit kung ‘yun ang magpapahinto sa pananakit? Thus, I applaud the pie on Anita Bryant’s face.

Rekomendado ko sa mga straight friends ko ang “Milk.” Galing ni Sean Penn du’n! Kung bakla ka, feeling mo biopic mo ang palabas, but it is in the straight people that I hope the film will truly work some magic. Kung straight ka, mari-realize n’yo na as recent as the 70’s pinagtatalunan pa sa sinasabing pinakamalayang bansa sa buong mundo kung may karapatan nga ba ang mga bakla. Hayun, sa awa ng Diyos, black na ang presidente ng Amerika ngayon pero bawal pa rin sa kanila ang gay marriage…at malayung-malayung-malayo pang mangyari ‘yun dito (ang magkaroon ng egoy na pangulo at magpakasal kami ni Mike). ‘Di kaya ang puso mo ay isa sa humahadlang?

I love gay people but they just shouldn’t get married because that’s gonna disrupt society and family as we know it.

It isn’t right to raise children in a same-gender parenthood.

(Guy speaking): Kahit kaibigan ko siya mag-iingat pa rin ako kasi bading ‘yan.

I have no problem living/working/playing/partying with gay people pero siyempre sa Diyos iba pa rin.

Eh, ano ngayon kung hindi ako komportable/galit/iwas ako sa bading. Hindi ako naman sila dini-discriminate. Saka everyone’s entitled to his opinion. Ito ang opinyon ko, eh.

Kaya ang hamon ko, darating ang panahon na maaring ang mahalaga ay hindi na lang ang civility natin sa isa’t isa o kung maayos mo akong pakisamahan pang-araw-araw…Kaya mahalagang iwasto mo na kung ano talaga ang pinaniniwalaan mo. Kumbaga, hindi na lang tinitignan kung mabuti at tapat kang mister. Mahal mo ba ang misis mo?

Umaapila ako – habang payapa pa tayo – i-educate ninyo ang mga sarili ninyo, imulat ang mga mata, at maging tunay na bukas sa pakikipag-kaibigan at pakikipag-kapwa-tao sa mga bakla at lesbian – sa lahat ng klase - at nang maliwanagan ang pinakasuluk-sulok ng puso ninyo kung saan nagtatago pa rin si Anita, si Isagani, at marami pang iba.

Baka kasi dumating ang panahon na we might have to take sides again at gusto kong matiyak na ang huhugutin mong pinakapinanindigan, que aware ka man dito noon o hindi, ay hindi iyong may bahid ng faith ni Faith: “It says so in the Bible…God created Adam and Eve.”

I SWEAR, HINDI LANG FRUIT PIE ANG PATATAMAIN KO SA MUKHA MO!

***
In fairness to Faith, the last time I talked to her, she suggested the title of this entry. It's a start.

Dear Joyette

2009-02-03T00:15:00.000-08:00

02 February 2009

Dear Joyette,

I wanted to blog about this, but then writing you instead might be more prudent. I just finished reading your father’s biography, “U.G. – An Underground Tale (The Journey of Edgar Jopson and the First Quarter Storm Generation” by Benjamin Pimentel. Bought the book a few months back but never got to read it, but when I started I couldn’t put it down. Mas mahilig talaga akong magbasa ng non-fiction, kesa fiction; ‘yung hiniram ko ngang “Para Kay B” na unang nobela ni Ricky Lee napakatagal ko bago natapos.

Gusto ko lang sabihin sa’yo na idol ko ang tatay mo, ang nanay mo, ikaw, at ang buong pamilya n’yo. Before reading the book, I was only vaguely familiar with your father’s martyrdom, kaya mas lalo akong napabilib at namangha nang mabasa ko na ang kuwento niya. Though largely apolitical, even during my days as a UP student, I’ve always felt that I owe a lot to your father’s generation, kasi sila talaga ‘yung nag-sacrifice ng normal na pamumuhay para lang makapag-aral ako sa UP nang hindi nahihinto dahil may diktaturyang kailangang kalabanin. Dahil isinantabi ng tatay mo ang komportableng buhay, at isang financially rewarding career path, walang gaanong guilt kong magugugol ang mga panahon ko para matupad ang mga personal kong pangarap. Ultimo ang passion ko ngayon na maging bahagi ng malayang media ay isang posibilidad na malaking utang ko sa tatay mo.

Buhay pa rin ang spirit ng activism noong estudyante ako nu’ng 90’s pero hindi talaga ako nahikayat sumali dahil naniniwala ako na iba na ang pagsislbing hinihingi ng aking bayan, and that is to be the best “civil” citizen that I can be. Hanggang sa ngayon ‘yan ang pinanindigan ko. Isang rason nga kung bakit ako nag-Mass Comm eh dahil alam ko na makakahanap ako ng fulfillment sa trabaho sa ganu’ng karera kahit andito ako sa Pilipinas, kesa kung mag-Med ako na tulad ng gusto ng mommy ko. Feeling ko kasi kapag nag-doktor ako, mahihikayat lang akong mag-abroad. Hindi ko ring pangarap pasukin ang pulitika, o ang magsilbi sa gobyerno bilang civil servant dahil hindi ako siguradong incorruptible ako. Natatakot kasi ako na sa daling mangurakot sa gobyerno, hindi ako matutukso at maja-justify ko na lang ‘yun ng anumang bullshit na tulad ng true, good, and beautiful ni Imelda.

When your father was a student leader, my parents met and got engaged. In the year Martial Law was declared, the catalyst that led your father to go underground, my parents got married and started a family. They moved into our own home in Marikina a few months before your father headed the CPP’s Metro Manila organization in 1979. I was a few months old then. My parents made a decision to try to live a normal life despite the political and economic injustices then; while your parents chose to fight.

My grandparents will never know how it is not knowing where my parents exactly are, or if they’re safe, or even alive. Lola and lola will never know how it is to visit an obviously tortured son in a military camp. My kuyas, unlike your Kuya Nonoy, will never know how to maintain a relationship with absentee parents, who keep in touch through voice tapes; or to regularly move clandestinely from one house to another. Our family will never know how it is to get a phonecall confirming a report that a loved one has died in a raid. We will never know precisely your pain, but we will never, ever forget the sacrifices of courageous and glorious families like yours. Families like the Agapays owe a lot to families like the Jopsons.

Alam ko na ngayon ang hangad ng iyong ina eh mapanatiling buhay ang alaala ni Edjop sa isang henerasyong namulat na sa kalayaang bunga na rin ng kanyang mga ipinaglaban, at ikinamatay. Please assure her na hindi ako makakalimot, hindi kami makakalimot, at habambuhay kong sisikaping tanawin ang aking malaking utang na loob sa tatay mo... Maraming, maraming salamat.

Mabuhay,

Rey

The Right to Motmot

2009-01-30T02:36:00.000-08:00

Ni-reverse ng Supreme Court ang pag-a-uphold ng Court Appeals sa City Ordinance ni Manila Mayor Alfredo "Hirty Harry/Ako ang Batas" Lim banning short-time motmots to operate in the city. (PDI, 30 Jan 09)

Napakaganda ng quoted passages mula sa unanimous decision ng SC kasi kahit in-acknowledege nilang maaring nagiging pugad ng prostitusyon ang gayu'ng mga lugar, mas importante pa rin daw ang karapatan nating mag-motmot, isang karapatan na napakaliit na puwedeng basta-basta na lang mahamak for a "greater", "more moral" right.

"Concededly, these are not the sort of cherished rights that when proscribed would impel the people to tear up their cedulas...Still, the Bill of Rights does not shelter gravitas alone. Indeed it is those 'trivial' yet fundamental freedoms, which the people reflexively exercise any day without the impairing awareness of their constitutional consequence, that accurately reflect the degree of liberty enjoyed by the people."

Ahhh...one more reason to be proud of the Philippines, our wala-lang freedoms. We are free to do it, to check-in a motel and fuck for a short-time fee...Wala nang isip-isip kasi natural lang sa'tin ang maging malaya. Sa Singapore kahit mag-bubble gum bawal!

Faith and Sunshine.

2009-01-18T09:12:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought na malawak na ang pag-iisip ng mga tao, I meet Faith and Sunshine.

Si Sunshine matagal ko nang kaibigan, magkaibigan pa rin kami, pero a few weeks back ay na-bring-up ang pagiging Katoliko ko na para sa kanya ay nagka-clash sa pagiging bakla ko. Tila para sa kanya ang lahat ng bakla ay dapat tumiwalag sa Simbahang Katoliko dahil sa mga mapaniil nitong pananaw on homosexuality.

Let me just say that for the longest time I've refrained from writing about "gay rights", and I also don't want to turn this into a religious debate; pero ang ipinagtataka ko lang eh hindi ko naman siya pinuntirya when she turned all cool and "agnositc" or whatever shit she calls herself, tapos ngayon nakukuwestiyon ang pagiging Katoliko ko. Eh, sa ito ang gusto kong panigang Simbahan, eh, pakialam mo ba, Sunshine? Basta para sa'kin, kung magiging Kristiyano na rin lang ako, 'di du'n na'ko sa Simbahang mismong si Kristo ang nagtatag, 'di ba? (Sorry, ayoko na talaga mag-cite ng mga ganyang points at baka nga mag-trigger lang ng religious debate so please, friends, 'wag n'yo na lang patulan 'to.)

When I brought it up again with her, kasi nga talagang na-bother ako sa mga sinabi niya, sana sinabi ko na lang na I let her be, so she should let me be, too. But instead, I opened the discussion to more debate when I said I am Catholic and I vote to stay one, and be the best Catholic that I could, because I know that though I believe my Church is wrong about her teachings on homosexuality, I have hope that it will realize her mistakes someday, the same way the Church has amended her teachings on cremation, or when she apologized for persecuting Galileo, for not doing enough to stop Hitler's genocide, and for launching the Crusades.

Actually, the biggest point that I wanted to raise, is that I do not feel particularly discrimated against in my Church, as much as in the rest of the world. My community in general practically shares the Catholic Church's fears and prejudices against gay people like me, so hindi na bago 'yung sinasabi ng Simbahan about me. Sabi ko nga, "Sunshine, sa bawat isang kaibigan kong tulad mo na wala talagang problema at buung-buong natatanggap ang pagiging bakla ko, meron sigurong sampung kaibigan na may fineprint ang sinasabing PAGTANGGAP sa'kin." Alam ko na marami sa inyong nagbabasa nito ngayon ang iniisip na "OK naman si Rey KAHIT bakla siya kasi..." Fill in the blanks na lang. That's the fineprint...at OK lang 'yun sa'kin. Sapat nang so far you let me be. Hindi ko na papangaraping mawala ang deeply ingrained bigotry n'yo against people like me dahil hindi ko rin naman inaasahang magbabago ang pananaw ng Santo Papa hinggil sa gay marriage habang nabubuhay ako.

Hindi nag-iisa ang Simbahang Katoliko sa paniniil sa mga homosexuals. Ilan ba sa mga taong nagsasabing tanggap nila ako bilang kaibigan ang natutuwa na at least hindi ako 'yung tipong nagbibihis-babae? Ilan ba sa mga kaibigan kong may mataas na pinag-aralan ang boboto ng NO kung sakali, by some stroke of impossible luck, maatas sa referendum ang gay marriage sa Pilipinas? Ilan ba sa mga tunay kong kaibigan ang kapareho ng maraming Pilipino na naghahangad na makatagpo ng taong mamahalin, pakakasalan, at magkakaroon ng mga cute at malulusog na anak na sana hindi maging bakla paglaki? Hindi ko talaga gustong malaman ang sagot sa mga 'yan.

Sa bawat isang taong tulad ni Sunshine na masasabi ko nang malawak-lawak ang pananaw on homosexuality, may isang milyon pa ring katulad ng isang 17-year old UP student na nakilala ko kailan lang, si Faith. Mukha namang mabait, maganda, matalino, Kristiyano, at naniniwalang "gay people should not exist."

To Do this 2009

2009-01-02T01:30:00.001-08:00

Akala ko 2010 pa ang last year of the decade, 2009 na pala! I won't call these resolutions kasi hindi ko naman ugali 'yun pero ito ang mga gusto kong mangyari this year...

1. Matutong mag-drive ng manual. Next week na next week rin mag-e-enroll ako sa driving school!

2. Kumuha ng passport. Sa tulong na rin ng pangungulit ni Adrian, at ng pamemresyur ng mga kaibiga't katrabaho na "Hindi ka pa nakakalabas ng bansa?!" sana ay magawa ko na'to...Brazil, here i come! (Brazil talaga?)

3. Maging diligent sa training - rowing for the Boracay regatta, weight training para gumanda-ganda naman ang katawan (at 30, mas mahirap nang i-lose ang holiday weight!), at triathlon for the first official Ironman 70.3 in August!

4. Maging mabuting boyfriend. Hindi agad magagalit, mas patient, magiging mas diplomatic and less rabid, mas malambing, mas sweet, less overthinking, more overloving! naks!

5. Mag-invest pa. Prepare for the predicted hard times.

6. Mag-home improvement. I realize this may conflict with number 5, since decorating will cost money, pero sana unti-unti kong ma-let go ko ang fear ko of decorating my place, and just go ahead, paint that wall!

7. Maging third Filipina Miss Universe. Diet and exercise at nang makasali sa Bb. Pilipinas 2009! Mabuhay! You know I look good in a gown, and sa question and answer e taob ko na sila. Puwede na sigurong pambawi 'yun sa average scores na makukuha ko sa Oscar dela Renta Swimsuit Competition. (Seryoso ako kala n'yo!)

PLDT MyDSL Blocks Xtube, Other Pornsites...

2009-01-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

How true that the country's largest internet service provider took the liberty of blocking Xtube and other more popular pornsites? Now it will take a loooong time to access the site, and even then, the page would not load properly, and the videos would not play. Even using a proxy site would not work.

I still have not called the PLDT MyDSL hotline to verify some friends' claims that PLDT MyDSL has indeed blocked XTube and other pornsites, but as soon as the holidays are over that's what I am going to do, and if they do confirm it, I will promptly ask them to unblock it at least in my account.

I could talk about freedom and all that shit, after all, the last time I checked I am still in the Philippines and not China, but this is just about for my personal pleasure that does not in any way get in your way! I pay for internet at home so I could browse anything I want, porn especially, in the privacy of my home that I pay for as well, dahil mahirap mag-jack-off to porn in an internet cafe, and in some wifi-accessible coffee shop! If PLDT MyDSL had the gall of blocking these pornsites, what would stop them from blocking any other site that they would deem offensive and inappropriate for viewing, even by adults (they know we are adults because they would require that you be at least 18 years old before you could subscribe to them)?

To quote Trekkie Monster of Avenue Q: "The internet is for porn!" at walang karapatan ang PLDT MyDSL, o sinuman, na diktahan ang isang adult na tulad ko kung ano ang puwede at hindi ko puwedeng i-browse sa internet!

Dahan-dahan, first time ko, eh...Ha?! Eh, 2008 na!

2008-12-30T06:44:00.000-08:00

Ang ganda ng title, 'di ba?

I will remember 2008 as a year of firsts! What a way to spend the last year of your twenties!

MA-PROMOTE. Maraming firsts na dito nag-uugat kaya malaki talaga ang pasasalamat ko sa first na'to, lalo na kay Ms Cecille na nagtiwala (thank you speech?) Yeah, in the 8 years na nasa GMA ako straight from college ay nagkaroon ng ilang progress in my career. Ilang taon na rin akong headwriter pero 'yung structure kasi ng indutriya ay medyo laid-back, less corporate-y kaya ang mga ganu'ng movements ay sinasabi lang, ganyan, nang walang masyadong seremonya. Pero this promotion that was formalized last January entailed the usual tsismis, anxious waiting for the announcement, confirmation, then trepidation kung matutuloy ba, then the psychological/management chenes (ang hirap ng Math parang ACET!), then having an office, then signing the contract. I'm still not used to the fact of the promotion, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala at puno pa rin ako ng self-doubts pero 'di sabi nga nila kapag may ganyang blessing magpasalamat ka na lang? so that's what i'm doing right now.

BUYING A CAR. Finally I felt safe enough to feel that I can get my first car. Buti meron akong straight kuya na maraming alam sa kotse (Poor gay guys with only gay brothers) so siya ang naging advisor ko sa pagpili ng tamang kotse. Feeling ko naman lahat ng sinabi niya tama. Saka since first ko nga, wala akong masyadong criteria except dapat SUV siya kasi gusto ko kasya ang bike. Escape ang gusto ko. May nakita na'ko tapos biglang hindi na'ko binalikan ng dealer, binenta na niya pala. Sabi ni Kuya Ryan, "'Wag kang mag-aalala. Ibig-sabihin lang, not meant to be." Then may nakita na naman kaming Escape! Bibilhin ko na, biglang dumating ang kumpare kong kuya ni Thea, si Kuya Buboy. Nagkasundo sila ng kuya ko sa kotse. Biglang, "Mahal ang parts ng Ford. Tapos ang mahal pa ng gas ngayon so dapat diesel ang bilhin mo." Ako naman nagtanong, "Eh, ano pala maganda?" I swear halos chorus pa sila Kuya Ryan at Kuya Buboy na tumuro sa itim na sasakyan sa tapat mismo ng pulang Escape na lulan na ang mga pamangkin ko: "Ayan! Trooper!" Trooper it is! Mas mahal siya pero tama naman, saka mas malakas ang makina ng Trooper, leather seats na, may armrest pa, may vcd player (VCD pa lang nu'n e), Diesel...Shit! I'm starting to sound like my kuya vrooom!

LEARNING TO DRIVE. Oo, kuya ko ang nag-uwi ng Trooper dahil hindi ko pa siya kayang i-drive. Ni student license wala ako. Sina Kuya at Daddy naman ang nagturo sa'kin, as per the Agapay Men's Tradition! Kaya napakakalmado kong driver kahit na malapig nang maaksidente dahil nu'ng nag-aaral ako, kahit nagpa-panic na hinding-hinding-hindi ako titili! Siyempre kasama sa prosesong ito ang mga aksidente, ang mga huli ng pulis, ang mga misadventures, at siyempre ang thrill na first time kong sinabi kay Kuya na: "Bumababa na sige, ako na mag-uuwi nito!" Pagdating sa Marcos Hiway, 'di ko napigilang humarurot at nagsisisigaw na parang baliw na nakawala sa hawla! Eeeeeeennnnnng!

MAG-OLYMPIC DISTANCE TRIATHLON. yeah, this year ko lang nakarera ang standard distance. first time kong mag-drive sa nlex, gabi pa nu'n at umuulan. dahil dinner meeting sa manila ang pinaggalingan ko, 12 midnight na ako nakarating ng clark. nagtrabaho pa'ko. woke up 4am to prepare for a race. 7am ang karera. some three hours after tapos ka na, and then nag-prepare nang bumalik ng Maynila. 11am nasa SOP...then Showbiz Central pa till 630pm...Tapos nag-schedule pa pala ako ng family dinner so till mga 12midnight pa'ko gising...Doing it again next year!

PERFORMING (AFTER REHEARSING) FOR A DRAG SHOW. Ginaya ko ang konsepto ni Wonderful Mamu, ang favorite act namin nina Adrian sa Palawan2 (singles bar 'to sa Cubao,may drag comedy show/videoke sa umpisa bago magsayawan at maglandian ang mga bakla). Ang concept ganito: Si Wonderful Mamu dressed up as Beyonce sa opening ng kanyang Beyonce Experience Concert. Tapos pinapalabas sa widescreen 'yung actual concert, tapos ang bawat galaw, as in bawat galaw, ni Beyonce gagayahin ni Wonderful Mamu. Naisip ko, "Hmmm...kaya kong gawin 'yan!" Bumili ako ng DVD (original kasi baka mamamya mag-practice ako nang ilang linggo tapos sa venue hindi mag-play kasi pirated 'yung DVD ko), frineeze-frame ang performance dahil napakahirap pala ang mga steps ni Beyonce! nagpa-make-up, nanghirap ng isa, dalawa, dalawang wig para makuha ang effect big-bodied hairdo ni Beyonce, tumakas sa meeting... the result is a much-talked-about but rarely seen YouTube secret video! Bwahahahaha! (pinatanggal ko ang tag na rey agapay bwahahahaha!)

MASUKATAN NG GOWN. This, ofcourse, is the consequence of the above 'first.' Sa couturier na si Totoy Madriaga pa'ko nagpagawa. Yoko ng sabihin kung magkano dahil nu'ng sinsusukatan niya ako ay sinabi pa niyang, "Wag mo na lang sabihin kung magkano kasi 'yung ganu'ng price pumayag lang ako kasi nga kina Xander sa GMA..." Tapos ang galing niya, binigyan ko lang siya ng pirated copy ng concert ni Beyonce, tinanong ang waistline ko, at nang hindi ako sinusukatan ay nakagawa siya ng pattern for that gown na swak sa measurements ko! Pero ni-require niya akong mag-fitting. Malay ko ba kung ano 'yung fitting. Turns out, sa kanyang shop sa may Caloocan ay naka-brief lang ako't naka-heels (Oo, heels para makuha ang lenght) na nagfi-fit nu'ng gown! Tapos biglang pumasok ang isang lola na agad pinakilala ni Mama Toy na nanay daw niya. In my briefs and heels ay nag-good afternoon po ako. Sumabat si Mama Toy, "Nay, paki-zip nga po siya sa likod." Perfect! Pero Mama Toy did deliver! Ang ganda ng gown ko. At dahil ang design nga ng costume, as in Beyonce's, long gown siya na puwedeng tanggalin ang skirt para maging short dress, nagamit ko pa ang skimpy dress na ito sa Hallooween Run. (Nilagy ng wings at wand, at hayun paikut-ikot ako sa High Street nang chini-cheer ng "Go, Fairy!" Sulit na rin!)

MAG-BEST MAN SA KASAL. Growing up, I wasn't particularly close to my two older brothers because silang dalawa ang una nga namang nagka-bonding. Bale OK na sana nu'ng pinanganak ako kasi magkaka-bonding na kami nang biglang in less than a year ay ipinanganak na ang bunso namin, my only sister. Na-threaten ako kaya sabi nga nila keep your enemies close so I became close to my sister. This being the case, bata pa lang ako'y na-verbalize ko na ang insecurity kong hindi ako magiging best man since my two brothers would of course be each other's best man when they get married. True enough my Kuya Ryan, despite being three years younger than the eldest, got married first. Si Kuya Rexel siyempre ang Best Man niya. Fast forward to 12 years after (has it been that long), our eldest got married this year. And I'm Best Man! (Na this year ko lang first na-realize na unang-una palang nagmamartsa sa Simbahan)

UMATTEND NG BEACH WEDDING. All weddings are beautiful! Lalo na ang lahat ng wedding na na-attendan ko, lalo't hino-host ko (this year I've hosted a record four weddings, at may booking na'ko for next year!) kaya nagpapasalamat ako kina Nonie at Armin na unang nagyaya sa'kin na makapunta ng Beach Wedding! Perfect!

MAGKA-AMBOY. All my boylets are wonderful. Until they become my ex-boylets then they become loser-yuck-gays. Pero this year first time kong magkaroon ng boylet na amboy. Cute lang ang may accent niyang nagdadabog ng, "Why did you take me back here to Balai?" nang 'di ko siya inuwi matapos ang pag-iinarte niya sa aming date. At napaka-winner kong nasabi ang, "I never...said...that I love you."

SUMAKAY NG HELICOPTER. Umandar ang pagka-competitive, may ABS helicopter sa event so dapat may helicopter ang GMA! Ang 'di ko na-anticipate ay nakakahilo pala sa helicopter (siguro 'yung mga taga-ABS hindi nahihilo kasi sanay sila sa helicopter...shit!) at mukhang times three pa ang pagkahilo ng aking kasamang host sa helicopter: si CHRIS TIU! pero nakaraos din kami....haaaay...and it makes for a great story about the ONE FIRST that Chris and I share.

TALAGANG MAGHANAP NG PAG-IBIG. From that first speeddating expereince as a humorous example, and my Malate katorpe-torpeng crushie who gave me a Sex and the City ending the ironically tragic anecdote, nakita n'yo namang ineffort ko rin ang love. There were a couple of "this-is-its" who amounted to nothing...And just before I turn 30, there it is!

Wishing all of you a new year filled with wonderful first!

Notes at Monica's Party on High in Antipolo

2008-12-23T02:21:00.001-08:00

Ah, I’m having the perfect life… not since my freshman days did I feel that things are OK just as they are. I’m so blessed to feel this days before I turn 30, a milestone not too many friends have warned will be emotionally difficult (and which I did not doubt kasi nga it means hindi na’ko young man in his twenties).

And today is the perfect example of this perfection. What better way to spend the few days before Christmas nang nasa bahay na lang ako, hindi ako pumasok (dahil nag-slow down na rin ang work sched), hindi na’ko nakikipagsiksikan at some wall trying to finish my Christmas shopping (natapos ko na nu’ng early December), at buong araw lang ako rito.

So para magka-semblance of productivity, narito ang ilan sa mga notes na naisulat ko kagabi habang laseng na laseng at nagfa-flash ang iba’t ibang ideas sa utak ko na ikinatakot kong malimutan the next day. Buti nag-notes ako, hindi naman pala ganu’n ka-brilliant ‘yung mga thoughts ko hehe. ‘Yung iba hindi ko pa maintindihan ‘yung sarili kong sulat. May iba naman na sa ibang entry ko na lang isusulat:

Sa Alpha, Delta, Charly…Ano ang J?

Buntis si Janice.
Buntis!?
Oo, right after siyang ikasal…
Kinasal na rin si Janice?
(Hmmm, dati it is usually assumed kapag sinabig buntis…)

I call this…THE FABLE OF THE CHOCOLATE CAKE
Sa Christmas party ng Torres “stereotyped” siblings kagabi sa Antipolo, ang daming desserts.
And I’m not a fan of chocolate cake pero ‘yung cake na natikman just, well, took the cake!
I was relieved and surprised na when I went back for seconds eh meron pang two slices na natitira. Mukha kasi siyang Red Ribbon cake lang or something.
‘Yun pala dala siya ng wife ni Levy, chocolate cake from Miss Desserts in Serendra. Sobraaaang saraaaap!
Hindi siya pinapansin kasi mukha lang siyang ordinaryo pero kapag tinikman mo, du’n mo makikitang special talaga siya.
Moral lesson: dapat pala tinikman ko ‘yung chocolate mousse na in-assume kong Red Ribbon lang din, baka special pala!

This is the CENTENNIAL JOKE:
Bakit the best talaga ang UP…
Sa Ateneo at La Salle High Schools, marami d’yang nangangarap mag-college sa UP.
Pero sa UPIS walang nangangarap mag-aral sa Ateneo o La Salle.

Parang rice terraces ang garden nina Monica so ‘yung banda nina Doc nasa highest terrace nagpe-play, parang baligtad na ampitheater bale. Naisip tuloy ni Monica na sa balcony ng bahay na lang sila nag-play para kita ng lahat. Hmmm…Kung ako ‘yung banda matutuwa ako kasi ibang playing milieu ‘yun, isang balcony ng isang American Colonial South inspired home sa Antipolo, in the chilly Christmas air. Too bad hindi ako banda, wala talaga akong ka-talent-talent sa music.

Murder

2008-12-23T02:19:00.000-08:00

Hazy ‘yung mga naaalala ko. Pero parang may tao na meron akong personal na alitan. Hindi malaking alitin, kainisan lang. Pero parang napaka-indispensible niya, eh, so nakakainsulto ‘yung pang-iinis niya.

Again, hindi ko talaga maalala ang blow-by-blow details basta alam ko in-attack ko siya. Lumaban siyang konti pero siguro lumabas na rin ‘yung adrenaline ko, ang aking murderous animal instinct, at ang aking explosive temper kaya wala na rin siyang nagawa. Pinatay ko siya. Then I put him, her?, in a bag ang disposed of the body.
Nakauwi pa’ko nang bahay nang maayos, malinis.

Then I woke up in the middle of the night, something that seldom happens to me. And I woke up doubting that the hazy images of me murdering some person (I swear hindi ko rin maalala sino) ay panaginip lang ba o totoong nangyari. Mas rare pa sa pagkagising ko in the middle of the night, ang pagbangon ko, pagpunta sa sala at nag-isip tala ako. Panaginip lang ba’yun o may pinatay talaga ako?

So far, wala pa namang lumalabas na balita about a muder that could be easily traced back to me…

Murder

2008-12-23T02:18:00.001-08:00

I was feeling particularly bad that day. ‘Yun parang paggising mo pa lang iba na agad ang feeling mo. Merong mga big things that bother you, na even the littlest of inconveniences make every breath bearable. Alam ko namang nago-OA lang ako sa reaction ko pero hayaan n’yo na lang akong maging pessimistic at cynical sa mga araw na’to.

Sabi ni Maya, ‘yung isa sa mga older Assers na naging kaibigan ko nu’ng new member ako, kapag malungkot siya she would just drive and drive and drive. Hanggang saan siya makarating. Tapos kapag ok na siya, babalik na siya. Driving doesn’t particularly give me a high pero right now I’m ready to try anything just to make this gnawing monster of disfulfillment, unlovedness, and loneliness go away.

Mga 1130pm na’to pero sige lang, hindi naman ako inaantok. Ang nakakainis pa kapag may ganito akong feeling, hindi ako makatulog, parang mas alert ako sa lahat ng negative sensations na’to. So nag-drive ako nang nag-drive. Inisip ko pang mag-Tagaytay na lang pero naisip ko na baka mas lalo kong maramdaman ang kalungkutan when alone in a place that I’ve associated with the most fun impromptu barkada/family excursions. So I decided to avoid the expressways altogether and decided to explore neighboring Rizal. Nasa area lang naman ako nito all my life, having grown up in Marikina, and now living in Pasig, pero parang hindi ko talaga kilala ang lugar na’to. Sounds like a good idea for an adventure.

Naalala ko nu’ng high school na nagka-project kami tapos we had to take pictures of the churches in the Rizal area. Napunta kaming Morong, Baras, gaganda pala ng old churches du’n. Na-late pa nga ako sa meet up ng groupmates so sumunod lang ako pero nag-pray ako sa guardian angel to lead me to the right church tapos nahanap ko nga ‘yung groupmates ko. I do consider that a miracle, and proof that angels do exist.
Anyway, parang hindi ko naman nararamdaman na may kasama akong angel ngayong madilim akong bumabaybay through towns and plantations sa sleepy Rizal Province. Then may isang church. Hindi yata naming nakunan ng picture ‘yan noon. At nag-park ako dahil bukas naman. Nakakakilabot ang setting, parang Shake, Rattle, and Roll opening sequence. Pero for some reason I was comforted by the fact na merong taong-grasang natutulog somewhere. Sa kanya ko na-feel ang companionship, na hindi ako nag-iisa sa mundo. Maaring nakaka-comfort ding isipin na kung anuman ang prinoproblema ko, mas matindi siguro ang sa kanya.

But then again, taong-grasa na siya, wala na siyang problema. Tayo lang ang nag-i-imagine na minalas siya, na kawawa siya, pero sa worldview niya, ayos na ayos siya. Buwisit siya.

Then I toyed with this idea that I’ve had a long time ago. Inisip ko na kung papatay ako ng tao just for the thrill of it, dapat malinis, walang evidence. I’d drive off to some obscure town, and kill the taong-grasa. Nobody would notice it. Lagi naman akong may dalang swiss knife sa glove compartment.
So that’s what I did. Malinis, ‘di ba?

Heard a Good One Lately?

2008-11-28T01:41:00.000-08:00

Pinaka-riot na writer’s meeting para sa akin ang sa Starstruck. Lahat kasi kami alaskador, at lahat din kaala-alaska. Meron kaming co-writer na malaking-malaki ang boobs, we call her “G and Friends.” One time late itong si G so hinanap siya, “Nasaan na si G?” Banat ng bastos na Rikki, ang nagsusulat ng iconic Da Who at Tigbak Authority ng Startalk, “Ay! Parating na po; and’yan na po ‘yung dede niya, eh.”

May co-writer kami noon na nakulong for a minor incident. At totoo pala ‘yung mga naririnig natin. Pagpasok daw niya, meron parang mayor na may mga alipores. Parang sinisipat siya, tapos pinapaligo siya. Takot na takot ‘yung kaibigan kong bagong-preso, “Hindi na po, sige.” ‘Yun pala ginu-good time lang siya ng mga preso. Parang welcome prank nila ba. So after a few minutes meron ding na-incarcerate na bagets, kasama na siya sa mga nagbibigay ng manyak looks to welcome the newbie. Ang Pinoy talaga, nasa preso na nakuha pang magbiro.

Tawang-tawa ako sa isang classic Donald Duck scene na meron siyang bagung-bagong sports car na dinala niya sa isang winter cabin. Tapos nu’ng gabi biglang nagka-avalanche. Sumakay si Donald Duck sa kanyang bagung-bagong convertible. (HAHAHAHA! SHIT! I SWEAR TUMATAWA AKO MAG-ISA WHILE TYPING THIS! GANU’N AKO KATAWANG-TAWA RITO!) tapos hinahabol siya ng isang giant snowball na lumalaki nang lumalaki as it goes down the slope. Ambilis-bilis ng mga pangyayari, nagda-drive in full speed si Donald Duck tapos biglang nabangga siya sa isang puno *poof* in an instant naging lumang jalopy na parang kotse ni Archie Andrews ‘yung sportscar niya! Hahahahaha!

Kanina napahalakhak ako sathreadmill habang nanonood ng Friends. Naalala ko tuloy ang pinaka-brilliantly written scene sa napakagandang sitcom na’to! Humihingi ng divorce ang secret husband ni Phoebe na best friend niyang bakla noon na she is secretly in love with kaya pumayag siyang pakasalan para magka-Green Card ‘yung guy. Ngayon after so many years, the guy contacted him because he realized he’s straight and he wants to marry another woman. The resulting reverse coming out conversation was hilarious and heart-wrenching at the same time! “When did you find out you were straight?” “I guess I always knew but I was always artistic so people said you must be gay so I said yes, I am gay. In college there were time s when I’d be drunk and I’d wake up the next morning with a strange girl in bed with me and I’d just think, no, it was just the drink.”

Sa Tito, Vic and Joey movies naman ito ang classic for me. Mga pekeng TV repairmen sila. Tapos nilalandi-landi sila ng sexy client nila. Biglang dumating ‘yung asawa na selosong goon daw. “Magtago kayo!” Nagtago sila sa TV. Tapos para hindi mahalata ng mister na goon, sila TVJ mismo ‘yung umarte. Nag-Helen Vela si Joey, nag-Lone Ranger si Vic (with matching flower vase na pinapasa-pasa nila sa backgroun to give the illusion of movement), tapos hinele nila ‘yung goon hanggang sa makatulog. Nakatakas sila. The next day, nasalubog nila ‘yung goon sa kalasada! “Aha! Kilala ko kayo!” Takot na takot sina TVJ. “Kayo nga! Sinasabi ko na nga ba! Kayo ‘yung nasa TV! Pa-autograph naman!”
The next scene naman, mga pekeng albularyo sila. May costume pang dahun-dahol si Vic na walang t-shirt para ma-exorcise si Balot na possessed! Tapos nag-work naman ‘yung padasal-dasal ni Vic. Nagpasalamat si Balot. Aalis na dapat sila kaso ‘yung assistant nila, played by Herbert Bautista, ang bumubula ang bibig! Sa kanya lumipat ‘yung masamang espiritu! HAHAHAHA! PUTSA!

Panalo rin ‘yung spoof nila ng We are the World na Chimoy-Chimay…
“There comes a time/
We’re always available…
We wash your clothes
We clean the kitchen
We cook the food
We run around the house
We watch your children”

Ito naman ang pinakanakakatawang joke for me. Marami na'kong nakitang version nito pero panalo 'yung kay Michael V and Wally sa Eat Bulaga, Live!
Naka-prosthetics na panget si Wally. Umapir si Bitoy na naka-fair costume.
BITOY: Ako ang iyong fairy godmother. Bibigyan kita ng isang wish.
WALLY: Ito po ang mapa. Dalhin n'yo po ako sa Amerika kasi sabi ang mga tao d'yan maa-appreciate ang beauty kong ganito.
BITOY: Ay, sorry, sa Pilipinas lang nagwo-work ang magic ko.
WALLY: Sige, pagandahin n'yo na lang ako.
BITOY: Ah, eh...Akin na nga 'yang mapa baka magawan ng paraan!

Uy meron pa’kong bonus napanood ko kanina sa Discovery Channel. Merong non-lethal weapon na ang tawag ay Thomas A. Swift’s Electronic Rifle…TASER for short.

30 Things, 30 Days Before I Turn 30.

2008-11-24T07:42:00.001-08:00

Kahit nanghihingi na ang katawan ko ng tulog, kailangan kong ma-flesh out itong listahang August ko pa unang na-conceptualize. Kaya lang nu’ng August, ginagawa ko ito to put things into perspective, na despite my depress-depressan ay marami naman talaga akong dapat ipagpasalamat. But siyempre in that emotional state, parang nagmumukha pa ring consuelo de bobo ang anumang isulat mong blessing, ang dating mo pa tuloy ungrateful sa mga blessings na tinatamasa mo.

Pero ngayong puro Christmas parties na ang sinusulat ko sa’king planner, nae-excite na rin ako sa aking paparating na Christmas Birthday. Then it hit me, in thiry days, I will be 30 years old! Tamang-tama ang binubuo kong 30 things to be grateful for. Lalo pa ngayo’t masaya talaga ako with what I have, where I am, who I am. Sabi ni Ianco, turning 30 will be difficult, and at some points it was; but today is not one of those fleeting moments.
Here are 30 things I am thankful for, and in true Miss Universe fashion, it will be in random order.

1. Living independently for almost 8 years now. Not renting anymore.

2. My first car. Black, big, at hindi naman halata ang mga bangga ko.

3. The cutest, smartest, craziest, and most malambing pampangkins, who think I’m the best! (Can’t wait for them to grow up and see them handle the truth of the contrary.)

4. More than work, I have a career. Still part of the same company that employed me fresh out of college. Proud to be Kapuso.

5. The UP Mountaineers.

6. Just this year, I went on my very first helicopter ride. Katabi ko pa si Chris Tiu!

7. That I wasn’t a pimply teener. (Nagkakapimpols na MALAKI pero panaka-naka lang)

8. The coolest mom, Mommy Monster!

9. I’ve the opportunities, health, support, and drive to race in triathlons.

10. Na naging pacer ako ng UP Dragonboat Team.

11. Na hindi ako allergic sa alcohol.

12. Na tinuruan ako ng daddy ko kung paano mag-bike, lumangoy, at tumakbo.

13. Na tinuruan ako ng kuya ko kung paano mag-touch type.

14. Na sa UP ako nag-aral.

15. Na sumali ako ng Broad Ass.

16. Na nakilala ko sa college ang aking Powerbarkada – sina Carlo, Cindy, Celery, Sheila,
Roy, Thea, and Val – na alam kong lagi kong mamahalin, at lagi akong mamahalin tulad nang ginagawa namin for the past 12 years now.

17. Na henerasyon ko ang peak ng Eraserheads. At naandu’n pa’ko sa Reunion Concert.

18. Na nag-writing workshop ako sa PETA nu’ng high school pa lang ako; na si Ma’am Candy Cantada ang naging TV Scriptwriting teacher ko nu’ng college.

19. Na nagsusulat ako sa Camera Café alongside theater/film luminaries Rody Vera, Liza Magtoto, Dennis Teodosio, Vincent de Jesus, and Mark Meily.

20. Na bahagi ako ng napakasaya at talaga namang hinahangaan kong writing team ng Starstruck, a TV show that has broken so many records, and made Pinoy TV history.

21. Na maganda ang handwriting ko not because I was born with it, but because na-challenge ako nu’ng Prep na paggandahin ito matapos mag-comment ang teacher na “Matalino po anak n’yo kaya lang panget ang sulat-kamay niya.”

22. That my first kiss could not have happened in a place more magical than the private residence of Malang, in a dark corner surrounded by his works.

23. Na nawala ako sa Mt. Halcon nang ilang oras, which led me to promise God that I will hear Sunday Mass makabalik lang ako sa camp.

24. That I have so many great friends!

25. That I can make people laugh.

26. Na nagtatrabaho ako sa showbiz nang hindi ako nagiging showbiz.

27. That one hot guy once asked if I understand Tagalog, kasi akala niya Puerto Rican ako.

28. That my parents’ marriage is very loving, and that they did not have to work abroad to put us through school.

29. Na Pilipino ako.

30. That I actually had no difficulty completing this list. Kulang pa nga.

Layas

2008-11-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

“Maglalayas si Tin-Tin! Aalis raw siya ng 3!” Isa akong batang nagpa-panic na binalita ang note na sinulat ng ang youngest and only girl sa aming magkakapatid na kanina’y napagalitan ni mommy monster. “Hayaan mo siya,” ang nonchalant na sagot ni mommy habang ngumunguya ng tasty na binili sa Bakery nila Trovela.
After a few years after that, ang dalawa kong kuyang nagbibinata naman ang nagplanong maglayas. Napapakinggan ko ang kanilang pagpaplano habang nasa Cubao nu’n sina mommy’t daddy. Natatandaan ko pa: kelangan nilang mag-alaga ng opossum para sa gabi, kapag nagsara na ang mall at magpapaiwan sila sa loob, hindi sila mahuhuli kung may mabasag man sila sa dilim. Ilalagay lang nila ‘yung opossum du’n sa nabasagan nila para pagtsinek daw ng mga guards sasabihin lang nilang, “It’s nothing. It’s just an opossum.”

Ang next step ng kanilang plan ay ang pangnangalap ng pera. Naisip nilang maraming perang nasisiksik sa lumang sopa sa tapat ng TV. Merong malaking butas ang sofang ‘to sa likuran kaya agad nila ‘tong kinalkal. Ang dami-daming basurang nahalungkat sa sofa pero ni mamera wala silang nakita. Biglang dumating sina mommy, kaya nagmamadali rin silang ibinalik ang mga basurang hinalungkat nila.

Pagtanda namin, ako ang unang-unang lumayas ng bahay sa aming magkakapatid.

Taksil

2008-11-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

May boyfriend na nu'n si L pero nang makilala niya si M on their first day as freshmen UST students, pero nakuha niya agad ang number nito. A week after, tinawagan ni L si M. “Samahan mo’ko sa General Assembly natin, please.” Ngayon, eight years na silang together. L insists hindi siya ang nanligaw, that it was just an innocent phone call (may boyfriend nga naman siya at that time), but that debate is now moot and academic. Ikakasal na sila M and L next week. Nang nakilala ko sila, "M and L" na sila so wala naman akong simpatiya sa nameless, faceless ex-bf ni L.

Matagal na ring mag-on sina N at R. Pero nang unang magkita si N at ang ka-hangout ng kanyang boyfriend na si A, they were, and I'm quoting N, "instantly smitten." Innocent dates followed, at eventually, nakipag-break si N sa kanyang boyfriend…Fast to present times, two weeks from now, host pa’ko sa kasal nina N at A. Nakilala ko man ang ex-bf ni N nang sila pa, mas close naman ako kay N, kaya deadma na.

Nu’ng isang gabi, nag-e-emote si A. Thirteen years old pa lang siya nang makilala ang kanyang girlfriend of 6 years! At nang mag-Law School si girl, bigla na lang nanlamig ito. Ikinuwento pa ni A ang mga masasakit na tell-tale signs na na-feel niyang may iba na ang kanyang mahal. Ang sakit-sakit-sakit! Though by all accounts my heart should really pour out to my friend A, sa huli hindi ko pa rin siya lubusang madamayan. Kasi hindi siya umiinom...

Some lifestyle choice bullshit na nag-uugat pa man din sa isang high school promise niya sa kanyang mahal (yes, the one who dumped him unceremoniously for another guy) na hindi sila iinom. Ang hirap palang makinig sa problema ng hindi laseng.

Actually ang sa buong blog na ito, ito lang ang gusto kong tumbukin. Naisipan ko na lang kaninang idagdag ‘yung “pagtataksil” stories ng mga apparently successful lovelives ng mga kaibigan ko para hindi naman ako magmukhang lasenggong mababaw ang turing sa pagkakaibigan. Pero, seriously, dalawang araw na
ng nakalilipas since A’s pouring his heart out to us, it still bothers me na hindi siya uminom. Kahit na tipsy na kaming lahat, butting in with jokes para hindi siya masyadong ma-depress habang nagkukuwento, kahit tawa na kami nang tawa nina Erika, Kaye, at Aime, hindi pa rin siya uminom. Kahit seryoso na siyang kinakantiyawan ni Ronnie na, “Uminom ka na. Kahit isang sip lang. Kahit ‘yun na lang ang bayad mo sa mga tao rito na nakikinig sa’yo.” Hindi pa rin uminom si Andrew. Bakit ko pa nga ba itatago ang pangalan niya, eh, hindi n’yo naman siya kilala? HINDI TALAGA SIYA UMINOM!

"Pakikisama", a fascinating aspect of Filipino culture, is now much maligned kasi naa-associate siya sa nepotism, sa corruption, sa bending the rules, sa turning a blind eye sa mali ng mga kakilala…Pero sa case na’to, ano ba naman ang panandalian mong kalimutan ang anumang lifestyle choice o a promise made to a disloyal lover para lang makisama sa mga taong nakikisama sa pagdadalamhati mo?

So sa mga susunod na mangangailangan ng shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, available ako. Kahit KKB pa! Basta lang uminom ka rin! Makisama ka naman!

Ang Bullshit na Walang Filipino Identity

2008-11-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

Isa sa mga overused statements na kinaiinisan ko 'yung "Wala pang malinaw na Filipino identity." or something like that. Nakaka-grrr. Madalas pa ang nagsasabi nito eh 'yung mga taong edukado naman, so I kinda expect a lot more from them than cliche bullshit like this. This statement has been used to explain every possible problem na yata - from corruption in government to our bad movies and our lackluster tv ads...

I was arguing with two favorite ka-inuman, a documentary filmmaker and a commercial director, at pareho silang nagsu-subscribe na "wala pa ngang malinaw na Filipino identity" daw. Sus! Sila pa nga 'tong dapat nakakaalam, no. I mean, I will have a hard time describing who I am pero mababanas ako kapag sabihan mo'kong wala pa'kong sariling identity. Well, kahit banas ako ngayon sa dalawang kainuman kong 'to (for reasons different from the subject of this blog, kaya dapat talaga bumawi sila next time), sa tingin ko nakapagbigay naman ako ng matinu-tinong rebuttal.

Again, I will also have a hard time articulating the Filipino identity, pero I that doesn't mean wala pa nga tayong identity. So nagkuwento na lang ako...

Summer 2006 sa Boracay. Naandu'n ako with the UP Dragonboat Team for the annual regatta. Kaso bumabagyo sa paraiso. Pero hindi naman puwedeng ma-postpone ang karera. So andu'n kaming lahat, bumabagyo, giniginaw (dahil wala namang nakapag-isip mag-pack ng raincoat o jacket man lang sa Boracay, 'di ba) pero tina-try pa ring i-enjoy ang sitwasyon. Biglang nagkaroon ng tugtugan at sayawan sa beach. Deadma na sa kumpetisyon dahil nagkakatauban na nga ng mga bangka. Tuwang-tuwa 'yung mga foreigners, inom na nang inom ng San Miguel at nakikipagpiktsuran na.

Kami na ang susunod na heat. Nakapila ang line-up sa may loading area. Magkakatabi ang iba pang Pinoy and foreign teams. Lahat ginaw na ginaw sa aming singlet at board shorts na uniporme. So para uminit-init naman ang katawan, one guy started singing "Lalalalala! Lalalalalalala!" 'Yung La-la-la ng "Sing a Song" na usung-usong running gag nu'n ni Vic Sotto sa Bulagaan. As in kahit anong sagot sa tanong, ang knock-knock joke ni Bossing ay to the tune of "Sing a Song." (Lalalalala! Lalalalalalala! Sing-singapore...Sing-sinigang...) Tapos nagsing-along na ang iba. Takang-taka pero tuwang-tuwa ang mga foreigners dahil kahit magkakalabang teams, basta Pinoy, tumatalun-talon at kumakanta ng "Lalalalalala". Uminit naman kami. Ganu'n ang Filipino.

Putting Myself Out There

2008-10-19T23:11:00.001-07:00

I need to "put myself out there." 'Yan ang mantra ko ngayon. Sabi nga nila, ang mga hindi naman nag-e-effort maghanap, eh, walang karapatang magreklamo kung bakit wala pa rin silang boyfriend. Deadma na sa matagal ko nang isinabuhay na "ang pag-ibig hindi hinahanap, kusa 'yang dumarating!" Leche! Kung matagal pa siyang dumating, ako na'ng susundo sa kanya! Nasaan ba siya???

So can you just imagine training for the half-ironman around my putting myself out there? Ang hirap, ha! Kulang na kulang na nga'ko nu'n sa training pero ayoko rin namang totally pabayaan 'yung already non-existent lovelife ko. So magba-bar ako until mga 1am...130 at the latest. And still manage to attend my pool sessions at 7am. In fairness, faster swim split ako sa White Rock, pero single pa rin ako...

Ngayong mas relaxed na ang training sched ko, mas makaka-concentrate na'ko sa putting myself out there. Pero ang problema, eh, when I'm out there, I'm as stiff as a rock - frozen to death, terrified of rejection! So wala akong ginagawa.

This week lang, 'di ba, natorpe ako sa Malate? So nu'ng Friday sabi ko babawi na talaga ako. Niyaya ko si Vichael mag-Government. Sinama niya ang kanyang boyfriend. So tatlo kami. Silang dalawa nag-enjoy. Maraming foreigners that night because of some trade fair happening in Manila raw. Two cute afams did smile at me...Pinu-push na'ko ng mga ibang kakilalang ko na lapitan at mag-da-moves. Kaso natakot talaga ako. Hayun, naunahan ako ng mga tsakang bading! hahaha! In fairness, those forenjerms were looking at me the whole time those tsaka badings were flirting with them!

Ang 'di ko maintindihan, kapag i'm at a much, much sleazier place looking for something more carnal and primal than the romance i seek now, eh, ang lakas-lakas ng loob ko! Hindi puwedeng ma-zero ako! Kapag naka-three lang ako, slow night pa!

Pero kapag ganito na 'yung context - kahit mismong date lang, or asking for a cellphone number - wala! Tae ako! Tae! (Shit dapat baguhin ko na ang aking internal dialogue!)

Kagabi, after two live shows, dumiretso na'ko ng Simbahan. Maaga ako sa Misa so nakatulog talaga ako sa pew! Kakahiya! So tumayo na lang ako't umuwi para matulog. (Sana maintindihan ni Lord na mas mainam na mag-skip na lang ako ng Mass kesa maghihihilik ako sa bahay Niya). When I got home at 8pm, nagpa-alarm pa rin ako ng 1130pm later that evening dahil plano ko pa rin mag-put myself out there. Nagising ako pero antok pa rin ako. It was a struggle - should I go back to bed or should I just shower and dress up and put myself out there....

I decided to put my head back on the pillow.

At ito ang napanaginipan ko:

I was two guy friends, I don't really recall who they were basta mga friends ko sila. Dude-pare-dude ako sa kanila, the way I am around my straight friends. Tapos one of those friends wanted to show us a beachfront property na he's thinking of acquiring so sumakay kami ng helicopter (sosyal 'tong friend na'to kaya hindi ko siya kilala, sa panaginip lang talaga). Pagdating namin sa beach, ang ganda nu'ng property, beachfront talaga, tapos parang Boracay 'yung place - party beach, ang daming gorgeous people.

We were at the beach admiring the view when two girls passed by, a chubby cute girl ('yung tipong best friend ng bida sa mga Pinoy movies) and some foreign looking babe, mukhang Brazilian model. Oo, ganito talaga ka-vivid ang dream ko. 2pm na pero naaalala ko pa rin! Tapos this Brazilian girl was walking na sesenglot-senglot. I remember nagsa-sunset na nito. Then this Brazilia girl eyed me tapos she intentionally bumped me. Ako naman nagulat. Tapos nu'ng binangga niya ako ulit napa-hug siya sa'kin, nag-hug na rin ako. Then I pretended to be straight and proceeded to flirt with her! As in, in my dream hind ako straight, ha, bading pa rin ako pero since siya na'yung nag-first move, go na'ko. 'Yung two straight friends ko naman, kinunsinti lang ako.

I dreamt about the whole evening. Hinatid ko sila sa cottage nila. We agreed to meet again later for dinner, ganu'n! Ang labo lang talaga!

1. Should I go straight and nab a Brazilian model?

2. Or was the dream a manifestation of how I wish my putting myself out there should be: nakatayo lang ako then this hottie comes and makes the first big move?

Insekyur

2008-10-15T21:08:00.001-07:00

430am...driving home from Malate, shouting to myself: "ANG TANGA-TANGA MO! TANGA! TORPE! TORPE!"

saw him again, cute as ever. he smiled at me, i smiled back. later on my way to the restroom, he (accidentally?) put his palm on my chest. 2am nasa bar na'ko, ha...

hours passed by but i could never, ever muster up the courage to walk up to him, introduce myself and ask for his number...guy in brown striped knit jacket na cute ang smile, smoker, SML-drinker, may kaibigang 6-footer na mukhang shy....pero 'di kasing-shy ko. hay.

Ay gay rape

2008-10-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

ang anagram ng pangalan kong "rey agapay"

if you turn the dictionary on on your cellphone and try to type "rey" ang lalabas ay "sex"

hmmmm...

One Sentence Story:

2008-10-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

It wasn't until I crossed the finish line that I realized why people asked me why I went to the race alone like it was a big deal.

Ano'ng Bastos sa Pagsuot ng Flag??

2008-09-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

Kinumpirma kaninang umaga (22 September 2008) ng isang brand marketing officer ng Adidas sa radio show nina Mo Twister, Mojo Jojo at Grace Lee sa Magic 89.9 na itinigil na nga ng Adidas ang pagma-manufacture ng Philippine Flag jackets dahil they want to “uphold the Philippine Flag Code.” Apparently, sinita nga sila ng ilang mga hipokritong patriots kuno kaya hayun… In other words, minsan nga nga lang tayo pansinin ng isang global brand, minasama pa natin! The Adidas rep also said that the jacket, a part o their Fall/Winter 07 Collection was sold all over the Philippines, but she refused to say just how many units were bought.

This is another example why I think we should re-think this law, not totally scrap it because there are some provisions that do make sense, but some parts, like the prohibition of using the flag as part of costume or clothing seems too outdated, too conservative, and bordering on violating our Constitutionally guaranteed “freedom of expression.”
OK, medyo controversial siguro sa iba itong iniisip ko pero para sa’kin, walang masama kung isuot ko ang flag. Kahit pa as underwear.

Or as bodypaint.

I also disagree with the strict implementation of the law that prohibits the singing of the Lupang Hinirang in any other way except for its “original” version as a march. A country with so many great singers, and a rich musical culture such as ours should not be this limiting to the most important song in our nation. I also used to think that it’s important that we sing the national anthem as a march, and only as a march, because it reminds us of the revolutionary circumstances behind the birth of our country pero unti-unti ko ‘tong na-rethink dahil na-miss ko ang choral version ng Philippine Madrigal that they use to play in cinemas. Hindi na rin exciting panoorin ang iba’t ibang divas (at nagdidiva-divahan) sa mga laban ni Pacquiao kasi hindi na sila as free to interpret the song. Napaka-refreshing nga nang sa simula ng “Noli at Fili 2008” na pinanood ko kamakailan sa napakagandang PETA Center eh ang version ng Loboc Children’s Choir ang pinatugtog nila (albeit a voice-over disclaimer saying that it is not the “official” version.)

Kung nasa Ifugao nga ako, halimbawa, at merong katutubo/Igorot version ng national anthem, I will not be offended. I will be even more proud. Hindi ko na iisipin na hindi naman ‘yun ang orig dahil kung magiging strict na rin lang naman tayo, ni hindi natin makakanta ang Lupang Hinirang dahil una itong sinulat nang walang lyrics, noh! At ang unang version ng lyrics nito ay Kastila, tapos naging Inggles, at saka na lang nagkaroon ng Filipino version! So ‘wag nga tayong magpaka-historically accurate d’yan, eh, hindi naman tayo accurate to begin with!

Sa lahat ng mga iffy sa ideas ko, ang main concern nila ay ang pag-o-open ng floodgates for ugly versions ng national anthem, or hideous clothing items inspired by the flag.

Ang sagot ko lang d’yan ay isang konseptong natutunan ko sa class ni Prof. Avecilla sa UP Mass Comm na Law and Mass Media: That it is better and safer for a free society to err in favor of freedom than to curtail it in fear of abuses. Mabuti na ngang meron tayong karapatang maabuso kesa walang karapatan at all. “Abuses” to freedom can easily be tamed, minsan mere social pressure lang matitigil na ang “violator,” eh. Pero to win back a freedom. Tsk! Madugo ‘yun. Literally.

DON'T SING MY SONG! why the "intellectual property rights" isn't quite right

2008-09-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

Intellectual Property Rights (IPR). Isa ‘to sa mga bagay na maganda on paper pero the way it is being implemented now, mukhang mas nagiging bane pa yata.

Sa trabaho ko sa telebisyon, pinakanaramdaman ko ‘to about two years ago nang biglang naging mahigpit ang paggamit ng mga music. Hindi na kami basta-basta makagamit ng mga songs lalo na ng mga foreign artists kasi nga mahal. Hindi na puwedeng kantahin ang “Happy Birthday to You” kapag may artistang nagbe-birthday. At kapag nakuha naman namin ang rights ng isang kanta, hindi na naming basta-basta magagawan ng creative treatment ang pagkanta nito, like producing a music video, putting the lyrics of the songs on the bottom of the screens so the televiewers could sing along, o hindi rin namin basta-basta mababago ang lyrics ng mga kanta. (Nakanta na rin naming ang Happy Birthday Song recently pero once lang kasi ‘yun lang ang na-afford namin.)

Kung ganito na ka-strict noon, hindi na magagamit ang “Dyslexic Heart” as the iconic theme song ng TGIS. O ‘yung “It Might Be You” na natatak kina Bobby at Angelua (to the point na when I was digging through my dad’s CD’s, nagulat ako na lumang kanta na pala siya!) Hindi rin mangyayari ‘yung English-Filipino translation ng mga kanta na naging popular act noon nina Dolphy at Panchito, Tito, Vic and Joey, at ni Michael V.

Nang dini-discuss nga namin ‘to ng mga co-writers ko sa Camera Café, multi-awarded writer Rody Vera cited an article that says this IPR thing actually “curtails culture.” Kung may IPR shit na noon, can you just imagine this: “Ely, hindi mo puwedeng gawin ‘yang TOYANG kasi mahal ang bayad sa rights ng TOO YOUNG.”

True, it’s nice that the creators of these wonderful pieces of art are protected and compensated for their contributions but are they really the ones getting paid? Sa Pilipinas, especially, pinaka-protected and music dahil merong malalaking record producers na siyang nagma-may-ari ng mga rights sa mga kantang ito. Sila rin ang may resources na mag-monitor ng kung anumang “illegal” na paggamit ng music (like reciting one line of a song as a punchline) para makapaningil. I wonder how much of what is paid goes to the artists themselves? I have nothing against Noel Cabangon lending his hauntingly beautiful aria “Pana-panahon” for a McDo commercial dahil mukhang siya lang naman talaga ang kumita ru’n. Pero kung pati pati si Madonna eh dinitch na ang kanyang record label dahil hindi ganu’n ka-equitable ang nakukuha niyang royalties, then merong mali, ‘di ba?

Isa pa, nai-implement lang naman ‘to sa mga industries na may strong business foundation, like music. Paano naman ‘yung ibang artists whose outputs are not really backed by a strong business set-up. Writers in the Philippines, unlike in Hollywood, do not have a strong business guild na talaga nakakapag-demand. Sa Amerika, natitigil talaga ang paggawa ng mga shows kapag nag-strike ang mga manunulat. Dito sa Pilipinas, kapag ang isinulat kong script ay napakaganda at i-replay ito, maaaring mabayaran pa ‘yung mga artistang gumanap doon pero the writers? Asa pa kami! Again, it’s because the actors have a strong, influential block of talent managers that handle them.

Of course, this may also go the other way. Hotdogs and Sampaguita songs are now seldom used on TV (despite their catchiness, not to mention importance to Pinoy contemporary music) dahil their songs are among the most expensive to use. Hindi ko lang alam kung ‘yung artists mismo o ‘yung mga record companies nila ang nag-impose ng rates na’to, pero dahil dito, hindi malayong dumating ang panahon na mawala na talagang tuluyan sa consciousness ng mga Pinoy ang finest examples ng Manila Sound at Philippine Folk Rock.

Ang mahirap kasi sa IPR ay ang assumption nitong pera ang motivation ng creator sa paglikha, when in fact, profit is the producer’s motive. Oo, merong mga taong kinakarir na talaga ang paggawa ng musika, and that is not a bad thing, but ask them if they decided to get into it primarily for the money… Artists are more than willing to put their works out there. Kapag may isa pang artist na ma-inspire mag-create ng iba pang art dahil na-inspire sa ginawa niya, chances are matutuwa ‘yung artist, ‘di ba? Hindi niya yata unang maiisip na, “Shit! Ginamit ‘yung ginawa ko! Bayaran n’yo ako!”

Kitang-kita ang pagiging generous ng mga artists sa kanilang creation sa internet. Youtube lang ay punung-puno ng ganyan. Pero dahil sa IPR shit na’yan, wala akong mahanap na footage ni isa sa walong gold medal wins ni Michael Phelps sa Beijing Olympics, o ‘yung world record setting 100-meter dash ni Usain Bolt, o ng anuman sa Olympics na’to! Pag-aari raw ito ng nbcolympics.com. Hindi ko rin ma-access ang karamihan sa mga footage sa NBC dahil for “US viewers” lang daw ‘to! Shit, ‘di ba? Binayaran ba nila ang lahat ng atleta at lahat ng nanood sa Beijing na tinamaan ng cameras nila ng talent fee para angkinin at ipagkait sa’tin ang footage ng mga ‘to? And tingin ko lang, tulad ng mga artists, hindi rin naman gustong ipagkait ng mga atletang ito ang mapanood ng sinuman ang kanilang performance nang libre.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not an anti-business stance. Importante ang business aspect ng music, ito ang dahilan kung bakit sa lahat ng artforms, ito ang isa sa talagang lumawig. Pero hindi naman siguro ikamamamtay ng music industry if they only moderate their greed and agree to make do of this whole IPR hypocrisy. In the extreme, maaaring mabubuwag lang siguro ang traditional set-up ng industry as we know it now, kung saan naghahari talaga ang mga record companies; at sa dinami-rami na rin ng hinarap na “problema” ng mga record companies noon (remember Napster) ay nakakahanap at nakakahanap pa rin sila ng paraan para kumita, ‘di ba?

Ang mas importanteng tanong, titigil ba ang paggawa ng music kapag nawala ang IPR? Hay! Thousands of years nang gumagawa ng musika ang mga tao, it is only in the last hundred years talaga nating ginawa itong komersyo, no! The music will continue playing, at nang walang culture of curtailment, prior restraint, and selfishness na ngayo’y napo-promote lang ng Intellectual Property Rights shit.

Love in the Time of the Eraserheads

2008-09-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

PROLOGUE

Rey!this is the concrt for us!eraserheads reunion sa aug30!nood tayo!

Kay X ko unang narinig ang magandang balita, about a month before this historic event, about the same time na nagsimula ang bulung-bulungang magsasama-sama nga ulit ang Eheads six years since they bitterly parted ways.

Pero ilang araw na lang bago ang Sabado eh wala pa ring definite details about the concert. Nagpanggap pa’kong smoker at kinarir ang pagse-send ng proof of age sa Marlboro Red List pero wala pa ring details du’n kahit naging member na’ko. Lalo na talagang namumuo sa loob ko na hoax lang ‘to, isang cruel publicity stunt para pag-usapan ang Marlboro.

Then Wednesday night lumabas nga na may ticket-selling na. Agad kong tinext si X. Bili na kita ng tket? Yes, 2 pls. Siyempre sasama niya ang kanyang partner. Pagkauwi ko ng bahay that night ay agad akong nag-log on sa Ticketworld para bumili ng 3 tickets sa Eraserheads Reunion pero ang bagal mag-load. Minsan sinasabing marami kasing nagta-try mag-access at the same time. Tiniyaga ko talaga. Hanggang sa ma-punch-in ko na’yung credit card number ko. Tapos ayan, nag-down ulit ‘yung site. Natakot na’ko na baka ma-charge lang ako sa wala. So in-update ko si X.

Di ko maaxes tketworld. Bili ko bukas sa Natl.

Cge tnx.

Hindi pa bukas ang National Bookstore sa Katipunan ay nagbe-breakfast na’ko sa katabi nitong Jollibee. Pagkabukas na pagkabukas, hinanap ko na ang Ticketworld. Wala pala sila nu’n sa branch na’yon.

Punta akong Main store nila sa Cubao. 10am pa raw magbubukas ang Ticketworld Booth. OK, ako lang naman ang tao ru’n so nag-browse-browse muna ako. Pagbalik ko sa booth ng 10:18, aba! May pila na! Namimigay pa sila ng number. Ate-behind-the-counter even told me, “Dapat pumila ka na kanina,” while handing me #18. Grrr. Marami pang nakaamoy na nakapila ako at that time so nagpabili sila ng tickets. OK lang kasi ike-credit card ko naman. When finally nasa counter na’ko, down ang credit card swiper nila! Cash lang. Buti may ATM just outside National so nagpahintay ako at nag-withdraw ng limpak-limpak na cash para ibili ang mga nagpabili. Got ur tkets na! Byaran nyo ko agad a. Ala nko cash.

ACT 1

Gabi ng concert. Madugo ang meeting ko sa QC. 7pm na nagbe-brainstorming pa rin kami. Kating-kati na kami ni Haydeeng sumugod ng Fort. Balita eh may mga nag-overnight pa ru’n para lang mauna sa venue. Nasa VIP List si Haydee (c/o Marcus Adorro) at hawak ko naman ang aking mas reliable na Patron ticket.

Finally, nakatakas na rin kami ng meeting. Pila pa rin pagdating namin sa Fort. Kinikilig-kilig pa kami ni Haydeeng naghiwalay ng pila. Dinig sa buong Taguig ang ting-ting ng nakaka-tense at nakaka-excite na countdown. Eight minutes na lang! Mabilis naman ang pila pero du’n na’ko inabot ng 3-2-1. Video. Humihiyaw na’ko sa pila! Buti na lang Patron at mabilis lang ang pagpapapasok. ‘Yung mga nasa VIP vine-verify pa. Sa saliw ng Alapaap ay pumasok ako sa concert grounds! Sumasayaw-sayaw at kumakanta ako ng Ligaya nang nahanap ko sina Thea, Arnold at Louise. Du’n kami sa may tabi ng speaker! Ang saya nito!

Deadma nko sa pangungulit ni X. Asan ka n? Nagstart n!

D2 kna ba? Umiiyak nko d2!

Wala pa’kong panahong mag-reply dahil gusto kong namnamin ang bawat sandaling ito with the Eraserheads.

Si X pala kasama ng partner niya. Nakakarir si partner ng VIP tickets.

Then after one set ay tinigil na nga ang concert. Disappointed kaming lahat na nag-regroup at kumain sa Dencio’s High Street. Pero masaya.

Hinatid ako ni X and partner pabalik ng GMA. Magtatrabaho pa’ko that night.

The next day, overwhelmed pa rin ako sa buong experience. Tinext ko si X:

“Napaka-surreal kagabi. Ang saya. Ang magical. Kahit hindi kita kasama, parang pakiramdam ko ikaw ang katabi kong sumasabay na kumakanta with the Eraserheads. Thank you for the friendship and for sticking it out with me after all these years.”

PREQUEL

Sa emo message na’yon ay trinay kong i-contain ang lahat ng memories ko with X and the Eraserheads. We met sa first day in college and have been very close since. Nag-apply kami sa Broad Ass siya ang bath head, ako ang assistant. Nang mag-apply siya sa isang Greek Letter Society a few years after, para rin akong amuyong na nag-iisip ng production numbers nila, at nag-e-enroll sa buong batch niyang zombie na nu'n sa initiation. Senior year, siya ang Presidente ng org, ako ang Vice. Ganu’ng klase. When people are looking for X, they ask me. And vice-verse. Kapag sembreak, Christmas break, summer break, tambay ako sa bahay nila. Dati may project kaming music video. Nag-uusap kami sa phone kung anong song ang gagawin namin. “X, mag-isip muna tayo. Maliligo lang ako.” Habang nagsa-shower ay naisip ko ang perfect song na gagawan naming ng video. Tawag agad ako nang nakatuwalya pa (college ‘to so ang hot ko with my chiseled chest and six-pack), “X! Alam ko nang magandang song! Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish!” “Rey, hawak ko ‘yang CD na’yan right now at ‘yan din ang sasabihin ko sa’yo.” Ganu’ng klase ang friendship naming ni X. Nu’ng bumili nga ‘ko ng condo, siya ang nagpautang sa’kin ng pang-down.

Sabi nga ni John Lapus, “Past na naman, puwede nang pag-usapan,” so wala na’kong pag-iimbot na aamining si X ang taong pinakamatindi ko na yatang minahal. At ‘yung connection ko sa kanya ang isang bagay na hinahanap ko sa taong mamahalin ko forever. Sana lang mahalin din ako, kasi si X hindi ako minahal, eh. Well, not in that way...things didn’t happen the way I thought I wanted things to be.

Si X din ang talagang taong inayakan ko. And I think I will never allow myself to be that vulnerable and open to anybody else the way I was, I am, with X. Hanggang ngayon, insecurity ko ‘yung fact na here’s one person who really, really knows me and ended up not able to love me. So at the back of my mind, I fear that the real, real me is not someone anyone could really love (Shit! Namumuo ang mga luha ko while typing this. Teka…)
The connection between X and I were that strong that I didn’t have to open up to X na meron na’kong ibang nararamdaman. Siya mismo naramdaman niya. So naging awkward. Tapos a few months after ako magka-feelings, nagka-partner si X. After all those years in college na pareho naming frustration ang aming singlehood. I tried being OK with it. Then I wasn’t. Then I was OK. Then I just became honest na I can be civil about it, but I can’t really be totally OK with it. Ngayon, wala na sila, matagal na, pero hanggang ngayon I can’t even mention that partner’s name. Naiinis ako.

Anyway, back in college madalas akong mag-host-host ng mga concert. One big gig was freshman concert at the UP Theater. Matagal na kaming hindi OK ni X nito kasi nga meron na siyang iba, and weird lang everything that happened. Nagse-set-up sina Ely, Marcus, Raymund at Buddy sa likod ko at tsika lang ako nang tsika. When they gave me the signal na OK na sila, I introduced the Eraserheads and I excitedly ran to the stage wing to watch them perform up close. Pero kulang, eh. All the time na napapanood ko ang Eraserheads nang live, kasama ko si X. But not this time.

Then sa gitna pa lang ng first song nila, I felt a kalabit. I looked back and there was X smiling and then OK na. We sang and danced through the Eraserheads’ set. We’ve been very good friends since.

At ngayon, ten years after that, hindi na nag-reply si X sa aking text after the Reunion Concert. Tampo ako. May mali ba’kong nasabi? Deadma! I’ve long moved on, no! Nag-open up lang ako!

ACT 2

Last Saturday, nagko-cover ako ng Oktoberfest opening sa Ortigas. Buong araw akong nagte-taping before that so hulas at pagod na rin akong dumating sa SMC where our OB Van was set-up. Isang linggo na’ng nakalilipas nito matapos ang Eraserheads Reunion Concert.

Biglang nag-text si X nang pagkahaba-haba: (pasensya na X, feeling ko iisipin mong oversharing ‘to pero anonymous ka naman sa entry na’to, eh)

“di mapakali, magdamag hinahanap. nababaliw tuwing naaalala ang init. hindi malimutan, kailangang muling makamit ang tamis sa aking mga labi…..halos isang linggo na ang lumipas, pero nandun pa rin ako…excited sa pila, tapos countdwn,tapos “sa wakas…” haay grabe kinilabutan ako. pasok opening avp…ang ganda, dinelubyon ako ng emosyon at nostalgia ng eheads mania. umangat na ung apat sa stage sa saliw ng opening riffs ng alapaap. ganito pala ang makita ang mahal mo matapos manabik ng matagal,intense joy bordering on disbelief…walang tigil na ang luha ko. tell me, how can smthng w/ such mundane beginnings be THIS spiritual 16 yrs later? alongsyd batibot ang my eductn,the eraserheads were the cornrstones of my youth,the shapers of my intellect & my soul. flashback: acac oval, 1st wk of freshman yr, kumanta ako ng eheads, sumabay ka (or was it d othr way arnd?), at yun na ang hudyat. magkalayo man tayo last wk, alam kong alam mo na magkasabay tayong kumakanta at dumadanas ng “walang humpay na ligaya.” salamat sa pagkakaibigan at pnagsamahan, sa koneksyong iginuhit ng tadhana at ng apat na nilalang na ngkatagpuan mnsan sa may kalayaan.”

Naiiyak ako. Pero ang saya-saya ko.

Team Elias vs Team Simon/Ibarra vs Team Basilio

2008-08-29T09:15:00.001-07:00

Naabutan naming nina Celery at Val ang huling performance ng “Nilo at Fili Dos Mil,” sa napakagandang PETA Theater. Sa panulat ni Nicanor Tiongson, nalagay sa modern times ang mga nobela ni Rizal. Sa direksyon ni Soxy Topacio, umulan sa stage! (‘Yun talaga ang na-comment ko haha! Pero du’n kasi naipamalas ang magic ng theater, eh.)

After 100 years, napaka-relevant pa rin ng mga ideya ng ating pambansang bayani. Si Ibarra ay isang idealistic young politician na gustong ipatigil ang logging sa kanyang bayan dahil nga marami ang nasasalanta ng baha. Si Elias ang kanyang kababatang namundok dahil hindi na bilib sa sistema. Si Padre Salvi ay naging corrupt na militar. Si Simon, ang disenchanted at heartbroken rebel.

Hanggang ngayon ang opposing, yet somehow complementary views nina Elias, Mayor Ibarra, Kumander Simon, Basilio ang nagiging point of contention pa rin ngayon kung paano nga ba labanan itong kanser ng lipunan. Meron na ba tayong maayos na sistema na nangangailangan na lamang ng maayos na pamamalakad? O kailangan ba ng isang drastic na pagbabago upang tunay na makapagsimula tayo nang maayos? Gaano nga ba ka-effective sa indibidwal na pagbabago upang mabago ang ating lipunan, kung hindi nga naman magbabago ang komunidad na kinabibilangan ng indibidwal?

Random Memory: A Chinito Lad

2008-08-29T09:13:00.001-07:00

Minsan merong old stored memories kang bigla na lang magfa-flash sa ‘yung consciousness. Hindi mo alam kung bakit, at hindi mo rin alam kung para saan pero malalaman mong may impact pala ‘to sa’yo…

Sa mga Starstruck auditions, iba’t ibang tao ang nakikita mo. Nakakausap mo sila pero hindi mo talaga sila nakikilala liban na lang sa info sheet na fini-fill out nila, at sa kaunting minutong nagpe-perform sila sa’yo.

One time, there was this young man na nag-audition. Nakalagay sa info niya na isa siyang college student. Binondo pa ang address niya. He has a Chinese family name at chinito rin siya. Pero ibang-iba ‘yung tindig niya sa mayamang chinitong nai-imagine kong may-ari ng mga business establishments sa Chinatown.

Nang tinanong ko siya kung bakit gusto niyang mag-artista, naluha siya dahil bilang panganay raw ay gusto niyang masigurong makapagtatapos ng pag-aaral ang kanyang mga kapatid. Hindi sadyang artistahin ang looks at talents niya pero kitang-kita mo ang sincerity niya kaya sabi ko na lang na galingan niya ang pag-aaral dahil ‘yun ang makakatulong sa kanyang pangarap sa kanyang mga kapatid.

Bawal ang Sex! Shit si Villar!

2008-08-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

got this from one of my egroups.

------------------

Have you heard of Senate Bill No. 2464, the ANTI-OBSCENITY AND
PORNOGRAPHY ACT OF 2008? It's now quietly pending in the Senate.
Meaning, this absurd, outrageous, oppressive bill has been passed in
Congress without causing any stir.

What is it, you ask? Let the bill tell you itself:

From Section 3, Definition of Terms:

(a) "Obscene" refers to anything that is indecent or offensive or
contrary to good customs or religious beliefs, principles or doctrines,
or tends to corrupt or deprave the human mind, or is calculated to
excite impure thoughts or arouse prurient interest, or violates the
proprieties of language and human behavior, regardless of the motive of
the producer, printer, publisher, writer, importer,seller, distributor
or exhibitor such as, but not limited to:

(1) showing, depicting or describing sexual acts;
(2) showing, depicting or describing human sexual organs or the female
breasts;
(3) showing, depicting or describing completely nude human bodies
(4) describing erotic reactions, feelings or experiences on sexual acts
or;
(5) performing live sexual acts of whatever form.

(b) "Pornographic or pornography" refers to objects or subjects of film,
television shows, photography, illustrations, music, games, paintings,
drawings, illustrations, advertisements, writings, literature or
narratives, contained in any format, whether audio or visual, still or
moving pictures, in all forms of film, print, electronic, outdoor or
broadcast mass media, or whatever future technologies to
be developed, which are calculated to excite, stimulate or arouse impure
thoughts and prurient interest, regardless of the motive of the author
thereof.

(c) "Mass media" refers to film, print, broadcast, electronic and
outdoor
media including, but not limited to, internet, newspapers, tabloids,
magazines, newsletters, books, comic books, billboards, calendars,
posters, optical discs, magnetic media, future technologies, and the
like.

(d) "Materials" refers to all movies, films, television shows,
photographs, music, games, paintings, drawings, illustrations,
advertisements, writings, literature or narratives, whether produced in
the Philippines or abroad.

SEC. 4. Punishable Acts. - The following acts are declared illegal and
punishable:

(a) Producing, printing, showing, exhibiting, importing, selling,
advertising or distributing obscene or pornographic materials in all
forms of mass media;

(b) Causing the showing or exhibition, distributing or the printing,
publication or advertising, or the selling of obscene or pornographic
materials in all forms of mass media;

(c) Showing, exhibiting, selling, or distributing obscene or
pornographic movies in whatever format, whether produced in the
Philippines or abroad, in any restaurant, club or other places open to
the public, including private buildings, places or houses where the
viewers are not limited to them owners thereof and the members of his
family;

(d) Writing any obscene or pornographic article in any print or
electronic medium;

(e) Performing, demonstrating, acting or exhibiting any obscene or
pornographic act in any form of mass media; and act in public, public
places or any place open to public viewing.

(f) Performing, or allowing the performance of, live sex or live sexual
act in public, public places or any place open to public viewing.

SEC 5: PENALTIES

(c) Showing, exhibiting, selling or distributing obscene or pornographic
movies in whatever format, whether produced in the Philippines or
abroad, in any restaurant, club or other places open to the public,
including private buildings, places or houses where the viewers are not
limited to the owners thereof and the members of his family, the penalty
of imprisonment of not less than three (3) years nor more than six (6)
years and a fine of not less than Two hundred thousand pesos
(P200,OOO.OO) nor more than Five hundred thousand pesos (P500,OOO.OO)
shall be imposed;

(d) For writing any obscene or pornographic article in any print or
electronic medium, the penalty of imprisonment of not less than three
(3) years nor more than six (6) years and a fine of not less than Two
hundred thousand pesos (P200,OOO.OO) nor more than Five hundred thousand
pesos (P500,OOO.OO) shall be imposed;

(e) For performing, demonstrating, acting or exhibiting any obscene or
pornographic act in any form of mass media, the penalty of imprisonment
of not less than one (1) year nor more than three (3) years and a fine
of not less than One hundred thousand pesos (PlOO,OOO.OO) nor more than
Three hundred thousand pesos (P300,OOO.OO) shall be imposed; and

â€¦and it becomes more outrageous as it goes along.

Why have we let this monstrous bill slip past us? Not a peep, even from
UP. I can just imagine the sort of awful Bradburyan future we'll have
after this bill is passedâ€"whitewashed media equals the death of
Art. That, and every Writers Night held in jail. See you there
everybody!

Should we let this happen?

SOURCE:
http://www.senate. gov.ph/lis/ bill_res. aspx?congress= 14&q=SBN- 2464

about "Rey Writes 30"

2008-08-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

i am so, so in love with that piece, "Rey Writes 30," yes the one right before this one. I think it is my best written piece in this entire blog so far! It's witty, imaginative, 'yung writing style, 'yung innovation. I am not kidding. You must think I'm such a gago writing this. Maybe this entry is another reason why I so wanna tell you the story about this post but I just cannot post it here. Please YM or PM me or text or call me please so I can tell you the story. (It might even be because I'm strapped to a bomb right now and if anyone ym's pm's or texts or calls me I will explode)

Hope to hear from you SOON! please help me!