Friday, February 13, 2009
25 Random Things About Me
usung-uso 'to sa facebook...
1. ayokong gawin 'to kasi parang nanana-narcissist-an ako sa kanya.
2. hindi ko kayang tumae nang walang binabasa kaya may magazine rack ako sa banyo. as in kahit nagmamadali akong umuwi nang bahay dahil lalabas na siya, mahahanap muna ako ng mababasa.
3. at habang tumatae ako, ayokong magbukas ng bibig. kapag may kumatok, sasgot lang ako ng "MMMM!" to indicate na may tao, feeling ko kasi papasok 'yung air molecules na may halong tae molecules. 'yoko ring makakita ng kahit na napakaliit ng speck ng tae na hindi sa'kin sa inidoro, nakakawalang-gana talaga!
4. Hindi ako kumakain ng pinya (pero 'yung nasa lata kaya ko), and most citrus fruits like orange, pomelo, suha...Hindi rin ako kumakain ng halo-halo, hopia, isaw. Trinay ko, believe me, pero hindi sila masarap!
5. i have two kuyas, and one younger sister. may kuyas were great basketball players nu'ng high school...kaya para maiba, nag-volleyball ako.
6. i regret telling my mom, "ma, i'd still go to the prom, ha." as her mother's (my grandmother) corpse was being picked up by the funeral parlor from our home. it was the height of insensitivity! (i didn't go to the prom)
7. nu'ng senior year sa marist, nag-leak ang exams sa buong batch. everyone was involved kasi pina-xerox for the whole batch, pinagsagutan sa mga honor students, at nang nadiskubre buong batch aligaga...except me. even my barkada then didn't bother me with the answers (eh kaya ko namang sagutin 'yun noh except siguro yung math) kasi anak ako ng teacher. i felt isolated na hindi ako maka-relate sa kanila. feeling ko ang corny-corny ko. hay!
8. i graduated "Best in Religion" sa Marist. Ang thesis ko sa UP won the Student Catholic Mass Media Award. Everybody sing Banal na Aso! hihihihihihi
9. "The right ear is the wrong ear" ang code na na-coin ni Rikki Lopez to remember kung aling tenga ko ang hindi nakakarinig. I'm 90% deaf in the right ear because I probably got sick when I was a kid. Docs advised against hearing aids kasi baka mas lalo ko lang daw maramdaman ang impairment ko kapag hindi ko 'yun suot eh "adjusted" na naman daw ako rito. Kapag naglalakad, i make sure everyone is to my left (boyfriends must remember this), at sa mesa dapat nasa far corner ako where everyone will be to my left, as well. Kapag tinawag mo ako sa daan di ko alam kung saan lilingon kasi I cannot distinguish where the sound is coming from, kahit maingay sa kuwarto, hihiga lang ako on my left at maba-block-out ko na ang noise, namamaga ang left ear ko kapag nagtetelebabad kasi nga hindi ko puwede ilipat sa kanang tenga. This may also explain kung bakit malakas ang boses ko, at kung bakit malakas ako huminga..hindi ko kasi naririnig kapag normal volume.
10. takot ako sa ahas, palakas, reptiles. kaya kong humiga sa kama na may mga tarantula, ipis, daga (pero hindi ko pa nata-try) pero kapag nalipat ko sa nat geo at eksaktong may footage ng ahas, nagfi-freakout ako.
11. kahit bakla, meron akong ideals kung paano ako dapat umasal bilang isang "tunay na lalake." bunga ng turo ng tatay ko, at ng mga nakita ko sa mga lalakeng hinahangaan ko. dapat ang lalake mabilis kumilos (kaya mabilis ako maglakad, maligo, etc). dapat ang lalake maaasahan, kapag sinabi niya paninindigan niya. dapat ang lalake hindi maarte, magsu-survive sa anumang sitwasyon na ibigay sa kanya. kaya que bakla, babae, o straight na lalake ka pa, i will be most impatient if you are not one of these things - kung mabagal ka, maraming walang kuwentang issues at baggage, unreliable, wishy-washy, at lahat na lang nirereklamo pero wala namang ginagawa.
12. starting last year ay nag-keep ako ng notebook where i jot down jokes na naiiaiisip ko. pero matagal ko nang hindi nasusulatan. katamad e.
13. ang pinakaimportanteng natutunan ko sa college ay 'wag na 'wag kang hindi matutulog kasi kahit maligo ka the next day, feeling mo mo nasusunog ka. hindi ka rin makaka-function nang maayos so useless din 'yung pagpupuuyat mo. kaya ako magaling akong mag-powernap, kahit 15 minutes lang mare-recharge na'ko.
14. isa akong living proof na totoo ang sex after-glow. my former housemate thea used to be able to tell if i had some last night kasi iba raw talaga ang glow ng mukha ko. some guys have even attested to the immediate results of that phenomenon.
15. kaya kong maging boyfriend na perfect shopping partner, 'yung tahimik lang na susunod sa babae na pupunta from one shop to another. minsan titingin-tingin ako, madalas uupo lang ako ru'n, magbibigay ng positive but honest opinion when asked about a merchandise, and through it all i will not grow impatient. natutunan ko 'to sa years of following my mother around the mall as a young boy. ako rin ang kasama niyang mamalengke at kilu-kilo talaga ang buhat ko pero ok lang.
16. hate ko ang usok ng yosi, ang nagyoyosi sa aircon rooms (napauso ko nga ang pag-assign ng smoking room kapag nagmi-meeting ang sop sa hotel kahit pa mas marami silang smokers), ang amoy ng bagong yosing tao tapos sasakay sa kotse, ang punung-punong ashtray, ang upos ng yosi sa leaftover food, ang smoker na laging nakiki-"bum", at ang smoker na laging walang lighter. yoko ring humalik ng kakayosi lang tapos nag-mints lang, ayoko rin kapag nangangamoy yosi ang damit ko dahil may mga smokers sa paligid!
17. grade 6 na'ko nu'ng nalaman kong nala-"lock" pala ang zipper if you put the panghila down, at nagtatrabaho na'ko't nag-aaply sa up mountaineers nang natutunan ko kung paano tamang magtali ng sintas nang hindi 'to natatanggal-tanggal. my grade school and high school files would show that my iq is only high average to above average, comparered to other lower ranked classmates in the top 10 na puro mga superior ang iq results!
18. meeting ko na, saka ko na 'to itutuloy.
***
19. My first car, Hans Ong, (which my friends say is the only car they know na may apelyido talaga) is named after a ka-batallion sa Medics ng UP-ROTC. He is a tall, smart, tahimik, pimply chinito na ‘di masyado cute pero sexy. Growl! (Hmmm…parang boyfriend ko?)
20. I’ve always thought that my longest serious relationship (with Toni) lasted but six months, but when I checked my 2007 planner, umabot pala kami ng 7th monthsary! Ngayon, I’m hoping this one with Mikey’s for ever. For one, up until the start of 2009 hindi ako naniniwalang kaya kong maging monogamous even while in a committed relationship, pero so far so good. I still don’t believe sexual monogamy is essential in a relationship, because sometimes sex is just sex at wala namang kaso ‘yung patikim-tikim d’yan on the side, but I’m getting the hang of traditional, conventional “ikaw lang, at tanging ikaw lang”. Masaya pala siya.
21. I order my mocha frap decaf kasi kung hindi, lalo na if I take it in the late afternoon na, hindi ako makakatulog. I think my body produces its own caffeine kaya nagkakape lang ako kapag kailangang-kailangan ko talagang maging extra-energetic.
22. I am pro-choice, not because I am pro-abortion, pero dahil naniniwala ako that illegalizing it creates a hostile community that unnecessarily stigmatizes a woman who unfortunately is faced with such a decision, while not given adequate and safe medical options. Wala namang buntis ang magdi-decide na magpa-abort nang wala-wala lang, eh. Kaya mas mabuti na if a woman deems it necessary to terminate a pregnancy, bigyan na lang natin siya nang sapat na counseling, at ligtas na medical treatment.
23. Meron akong sikretooo…big, dark sikreeeetooo…at hindi ko sasabihiiin! Bwahahahaha! (And I’m hoping hindi n’yo rin malalaman)
24. Hindi ako marunong sumipol, magpalobo ng bubble gum, magpalobo ng plastic balloon, magbalat ng butong-pakwan…at higit sa lahat, nafu-frustrate ako na hindi ako marunong kumanta. Napakarami kong naiisip na magagandang jokes/comedic routines na mapu-pull-off ko lang talaga kung kumakanta ako. My dad sings, though. Nagmana ako sa nanay ko. Hmp!
25. And finally, one irrefutable fact: I’M A BABY!
1. ayokong gawin 'to kasi parang nanana-narcissist-an ako sa kanya.
2. hindi ko kayang tumae nang walang binabasa kaya may magazine rack ako sa banyo. as in kahit nagmamadali akong umuwi nang bahay dahil lalabas na siya, mahahanap muna ako ng mababasa.
3. at habang tumatae ako, ayokong magbukas ng bibig. kapag may kumatok, sasgot lang ako ng "MMMM!" to indicate na may tao, feeling ko kasi papasok 'yung air molecules na may halong tae molecules. 'yoko ring makakita ng kahit na napakaliit ng speck ng tae na hindi sa'kin sa inidoro, nakakawalang-gana talaga!
4. Hindi ako kumakain ng pinya (pero 'yung nasa lata kaya ko), and most citrus fruits like orange, pomelo, suha...Hindi rin ako kumakain ng halo-halo, hopia, isaw. Trinay ko, believe me, pero hindi sila masarap!
5. i have two kuyas, and one younger sister. may kuyas were great basketball players nu'ng high school...kaya para maiba, nag-volleyball ako.
6. i regret telling my mom, "ma, i'd still go to the prom, ha." as her mother's (my grandmother) corpse was being picked up by the funeral parlor from our home. it was the height of insensitivity! (i didn't go to the prom)
7. nu'ng senior year sa marist, nag-leak ang exams sa buong batch. everyone was involved kasi pina-xerox for the whole batch, pinagsagutan sa mga honor students, at nang nadiskubre buong batch aligaga...except me. even my barkada then didn't bother me with the answers (eh kaya ko namang sagutin 'yun noh except siguro yung math) kasi anak ako ng teacher. i felt isolated na hindi ako maka-relate sa kanila. feeling ko ang corny-corny ko. hay!
8. i graduated "Best in Religion" sa Marist. Ang thesis ko sa UP won the Student Catholic Mass Media Award. Everybody sing Banal na Aso! hihihihihihi
9. "The right ear is the wrong ear" ang code na na-coin ni Rikki Lopez to remember kung aling tenga ko ang hindi nakakarinig. I'm 90% deaf in the right ear because I probably got sick when I was a kid. Docs advised against hearing aids kasi baka mas lalo ko lang daw maramdaman ang impairment ko kapag hindi ko 'yun suot eh "adjusted" na naman daw ako rito. Kapag naglalakad, i make sure everyone is to my left (boyfriends must remember this), at sa mesa dapat nasa far corner ako where everyone will be to my left, as well. Kapag tinawag mo ako sa daan di ko alam kung saan lilingon kasi I cannot distinguish where the sound is coming from, kahit maingay sa kuwarto, hihiga lang ako on my left at maba-block-out ko na ang noise, namamaga ang left ear ko kapag nagtetelebabad kasi nga hindi ko puwede ilipat sa kanang tenga. This may also explain kung bakit malakas ang boses ko, at kung bakit malakas ako huminga..hindi ko kasi naririnig kapag normal volume.
10. takot ako sa ahas, palakas, reptiles. kaya kong humiga sa kama na may mga tarantula, ipis, daga (pero hindi ko pa nata-try) pero kapag nalipat ko sa nat geo at eksaktong may footage ng ahas, nagfi-freakout ako.
11. kahit bakla, meron akong ideals kung paano ako dapat umasal bilang isang "tunay na lalake." bunga ng turo ng tatay ko, at ng mga nakita ko sa mga lalakeng hinahangaan ko. dapat ang lalake mabilis kumilos (kaya mabilis ako maglakad, maligo, etc). dapat ang lalake maaasahan, kapag sinabi niya paninindigan niya. dapat ang lalake hindi maarte, magsu-survive sa anumang sitwasyon na ibigay sa kanya. kaya que bakla, babae, o straight na lalake ka pa, i will be most impatient if you are not one of these things - kung mabagal ka, maraming walang kuwentang issues at baggage, unreliable, wishy-washy, at lahat na lang nirereklamo pero wala namang ginagawa.
12. starting last year ay nag-keep ako ng notebook where i jot down jokes na naiiaiisip ko. pero matagal ko nang hindi nasusulatan. katamad e.
13. ang pinakaimportanteng natutunan ko sa college ay 'wag na 'wag kang hindi matutulog kasi kahit maligo ka the next day, feeling mo mo nasusunog ka. hindi ka rin makaka-function nang maayos so useless din 'yung pagpupuuyat mo. kaya ako magaling akong mag-powernap, kahit 15 minutes lang mare-recharge na'ko.
14. isa akong living proof na totoo ang sex after-glow. my former housemate thea used to be able to tell if i had some last night kasi iba raw talaga ang glow ng mukha ko. some guys have even attested to the immediate results of that phenomenon.
15. kaya kong maging boyfriend na perfect shopping partner, 'yung tahimik lang na susunod sa babae na pupunta from one shop to another. minsan titingin-tingin ako, madalas uupo lang ako ru'n, magbibigay ng positive but honest opinion when asked about a merchandise, and through it all i will not grow impatient. natutunan ko 'to sa years of following my mother around the mall as a young boy. ako rin ang kasama niyang mamalengke at kilu-kilo talaga ang buhat ko pero ok lang.
16. hate ko ang usok ng yosi, ang nagyoyosi sa aircon rooms (napauso ko nga ang pag-assign ng smoking room kapag nagmi-meeting ang sop sa hotel kahit pa mas marami silang smokers), ang amoy ng bagong yosing tao tapos sasakay sa kotse, ang punung-punong ashtray, ang upos ng yosi sa leaftover food, ang smoker na laging nakiki-"bum", at ang smoker na laging walang lighter. yoko ring humalik ng kakayosi lang tapos nag-mints lang, ayoko rin kapag nangangamoy yosi ang damit ko dahil may mga smokers sa paligid!
17. grade 6 na'ko nu'ng nalaman kong nala-"lock" pala ang zipper if you put the panghila down, at nagtatrabaho na'ko't nag-aaply sa up mountaineers nang natutunan ko kung paano tamang magtali ng sintas nang hindi 'to natatanggal-tanggal. my grade school and high school files would show that my iq is only high average to above average, comparered to other lower ranked classmates in the top 10 na puro mga superior ang iq results!
18. meeting ko na, saka ko na 'to itutuloy.
***
19. My first car, Hans Ong, (which my friends say is the only car they know na may apelyido talaga) is named after a ka-batallion sa Medics ng UP-ROTC. He is a tall, smart, tahimik, pimply chinito na ‘di masyado cute pero sexy. Growl! (Hmmm…parang boyfriend ko?)
20. I’ve always thought that my longest serious relationship (with Toni) lasted but six months, but when I checked my 2007 planner, umabot pala kami ng 7th monthsary! Ngayon, I’m hoping this one with Mikey’s for ever. For one, up until the start of 2009 hindi ako naniniwalang kaya kong maging monogamous even while in a committed relationship, pero so far so good. I still don’t believe sexual monogamy is essential in a relationship, because sometimes sex is just sex at wala namang kaso ‘yung patikim-tikim d’yan on the side, but I’m getting the hang of traditional, conventional “ikaw lang, at tanging ikaw lang”. Masaya pala siya.
21. I order my mocha frap decaf kasi kung hindi, lalo na if I take it in the late afternoon na, hindi ako makakatulog. I think my body produces its own caffeine kaya nagkakape lang ako kapag kailangang-kailangan ko talagang maging extra-energetic.
22. I am pro-choice, not because I am pro-abortion, pero dahil naniniwala ako that illegalizing it creates a hostile community that unnecessarily stigmatizes a woman who unfortunately is faced with such a decision, while not given adequate and safe medical options. Wala namang buntis ang magdi-decide na magpa-abort nang wala-wala lang, eh. Kaya mas mabuti na if a woman deems it necessary to terminate a pregnancy, bigyan na lang natin siya nang sapat na counseling, at ligtas na medical treatment.
23. Meron akong sikretooo…big, dark sikreeeetooo…at hindi ko sasabihiiin! Bwahahahaha! (And I’m hoping hindi n’yo rin malalaman)
24. Hindi ako marunong sumipol, magpalobo ng bubble gum, magpalobo ng plastic balloon, magbalat ng butong-pakwan…at higit sa lahat, nafu-frustrate ako na hindi ako marunong kumanta. Napakarami kong naiisip na magagandang jokes/comedic routines na mapu-pull-off ko lang talaga kung kumakanta ako. My dad sings, though. Nagmana ako sa nanay ko. Hmp!
25. And finally, one irrefutable fact: I’M A BABY!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
I realized, I realized I was wrong.
After watching 'Milk', nag-research ako about Anita Bryant, the "villain" in the story who campaigned against gay rights in 1970's America. Ito ang isa sa mga unang lumabas when i googled her. And it's a very, very powerful image because it captures the tension of those times.
Tensyunadung-tensyado ako while watching the whole video na parang naandu'n ako mismo. As a gay man, nanggagalaiti pa rin ako just by hearing her rhetoric, and there was a carnal glee when that pie hit her right in the face (mas masarap sabihin sa tagalog: sapul sa mukha!)...then nabanas ulit ako sa kanyang banat na "at least it was a FRUIT pie"...at mas lalong nabanas nu'ng nagdasal sila: ‘yung pagtawag sa Father, 'yung nahirapang pagbanggit na "love" nila ang mga taong tulad ko, hanggang sa nag-break down sa pagsumamo sa deliverance namin mula sa isang “deviant lifestyle.”
Good thing she eventually did not prevail in the polls but her advocacy lives on today - during these open-minded times, in our free and democratic societies, among the more educated and successful.
I am not sure how straight people would react to this video, but a question that I myself asked speculates an answer: Isn’t it ironic that gay people hate Anita Bryant, whom they accuse of being hateful? This, I now realize, is the underlying question behind Faith’s reply when I castigated her for saying “Gay people should not exist.” She said, “Are you saying, sir, that I should change what I believe in?” This is also Isagani Cruz upholding his freedom of speech when rebuking the hatemails and hateblogs about his anti-gay column in 2006. Like so many, Faith and Isagani still harbor in their hearts prejudices against gays and think it is ok as long as they do not lash it out hatefully, or because they have gay friends. Para sa kanila hindi sila homophobic; tingin nila hindi sila bigot o sexist. Hindi nga naman kasi sila mananakit ng bakla just because bakla sila, kaya busilak pa rin ang puso nila.
Maraming mukhang malusog ang may sakit sa puso.
‘Wag na muna nating i-apply ang gay movement dito, I’m talking a general/theoretical situation: Kapag may nananakit, hindi ba’t dapat lang na dumating ang panahon na ang nasasaktan kailangan na ring saktan ang nananakit kung ‘yun ang magpapahinto sa pananakit? Thus, I applaud the pie on Anita Bryant’s face.
Rekomendado ko sa mga straight friends ko ang “Milk.” Galing ni Sean Penn du’n! Kung bakla ka, feeling mo biopic mo ang palabas, but it is in the straight people that I hope the film will truly work some magic. Kung straight ka, mari-realize n’yo na as recent as the 70’s pinagtatalunan pa sa sinasabing pinakamalayang bansa sa buong mundo kung may karapatan nga ba ang mga bakla. Hayun, sa awa ng Diyos, black na ang presidente ng Amerika ngayon pero bawal pa rin sa kanila ang gay marriage…at malayung-malayung-malayo pang mangyari ‘yun dito (ang magkaroon ng egoy na pangulo at magpakasal kami ni Mike). ‘Di kaya ang puso mo ay isa sa humahadlang?
I love gay people but they just shouldn’t get married because that’s gonna disrupt society and family as we know it.
It isn’t right to raise children in a same-gender parenthood.
(Guy speaking): Kahit kaibigan ko siya mag-iingat pa rin ako kasi bading ‘yan.
I have no problem living/working/playing/partying with gay people pero siyempre sa Diyos iba pa rin.
Eh, ano ngayon kung hindi ako komportable/galit/iwas ako sa bading. Hindi ako naman sila dini-discriminate. Saka everyone’s entitled to his opinion. Ito ang opinyon ko, eh.
Kaya ang hamon ko, darating ang panahon na maaring ang mahalaga ay hindi na lang ang civility natin sa isa’t isa o kung maayos mo akong pakisamahan pang-araw-araw…Kaya mahalagang iwasto mo na kung ano talaga ang pinaniniwalaan mo. Kumbaga, hindi na lang tinitignan kung mabuti at tapat kang mister. Mahal mo ba ang misis mo?
Umaapila ako – habang payapa pa tayo – i-educate ninyo ang mga sarili ninyo, imulat ang mga mata, at maging tunay na bukas sa pakikipag-kaibigan at pakikipag-kapwa-tao sa mga bakla at lesbian – sa lahat ng klase - at nang maliwanagan ang pinakasuluk-sulok ng puso ninyo kung saan nagtatago pa rin si Anita, si Isagani, at marami pang iba.
Baka kasi dumating ang panahon na we might have to take sides again at gusto kong matiyak na ang huhugutin mong pinakapinanindigan, que aware ka man dito noon o hindi, ay hindi iyong may bahid ng faith ni Faith: “It says so in the Bible…God created Adam and Eve.”
I SWEAR, HINDI LANG FRUIT PIE ANG PATATAMAIN KO SA MUKHA MO!
***
In fairness to Faith, the last time I talked to her, she suggested the title of this entry. It's a start.
Tensyunadung-tensyado ako while watching the whole video na parang naandu'n ako mismo. As a gay man, nanggagalaiti pa rin ako just by hearing her rhetoric, and there was a carnal glee when that pie hit her right in the face (mas masarap sabihin sa tagalog: sapul sa mukha!)...then nabanas ulit ako sa kanyang banat na "at least it was a FRUIT pie"...at mas lalong nabanas nu'ng nagdasal sila: ‘yung pagtawag sa Father, 'yung nahirapang pagbanggit na "love" nila ang mga taong tulad ko, hanggang sa nag-break down sa pagsumamo sa deliverance namin mula sa isang “deviant lifestyle.”
Good thing she eventually did not prevail in the polls but her advocacy lives on today - during these open-minded times, in our free and democratic societies, among the more educated and successful.
I am not sure how straight people would react to this video, but a question that I myself asked speculates an answer: Isn’t it ironic that gay people hate Anita Bryant, whom they accuse of being hateful? This, I now realize, is the underlying question behind Faith’s reply when I castigated her for saying “Gay people should not exist.” She said, “Are you saying, sir, that I should change what I believe in?” This is also Isagani Cruz upholding his freedom of speech when rebuking the hatemails and hateblogs about his anti-gay column in 2006. Like so many, Faith and Isagani still harbor in their hearts prejudices against gays and think it is ok as long as they do not lash it out hatefully, or because they have gay friends. Para sa kanila hindi sila homophobic; tingin nila hindi sila bigot o sexist. Hindi nga naman kasi sila mananakit ng bakla just because bakla sila, kaya busilak pa rin ang puso nila.
Maraming mukhang malusog ang may sakit sa puso.
‘Wag na muna nating i-apply ang gay movement dito, I’m talking a general/theoretical situation: Kapag may nananakit, hindi ba’t dapat lang na dumating ang panahon na ang nasasaktan kailangan na ring saktan ang nananakit kung ‘yun ang magpapahinto sa pananakit? Thus, I applaud the pie on Anita Bryant’s face.
Rekomendado ko sa mga straight friends ko ang “Milk.” Galing ni Sean Penn du’n! Kung bakla ka, feeling mo biopic mo ang palabas, but it is in the straight people that I hope the film will truly work some magic. Kung straight ka, mari-realize n’yo na as recent as the 70’s pinagtatalunan pa sa sinasabing pinakamalayang bansa sa buong mundo kung may karapatan nga ba ang mga bakla. Hayun, sa awa ng Diyos, black na ang presidente ng Amerika ngayon pero bawal pa rin sa kanila ang gay marriage…at malayung-malayung-malayo pang mangyari ‘yun dito (ang magkaroon ng egoy na pangulo at magpakasal kami ni Mike). ‘Di kaya ang puso mo ay isa sa humahadlang?
I love gay people but they just shouldn’t get married because that’s gonna disrupt society and family as we know it.
It isn’t right to raise children in a same-gender parenthood.
(Guy speaking): Kahit kaibigan ko siya mag-iingat pa rin ako kasi bading ‘yan.
I have no problem living/working/playing/partying with gay people pero siyempre sa Diyos iba pa rin.
Eh, ano ngayon kung hindi ako komportable/galit/iwas ako sa bading. Hindi ako naman sila dini-discriminate. Saka everyone’s entitled to his opinion. Ito ang opinyon ko, eh.
Kaya ang hamon ko, darating ang panahon na maaring ang mahalaga ay hindi na lang ang civility natin sa isa’t isa o kung maayos mo akong pakisamahan pang-araw-araw…Kaya mahalagang iwasto mo na kung ano talaga ang pinaniniwalaan mo. Kumbaga, hindi na lang tinitignan kung mabuti at tapat kang mister. Mahal mo ba ang misis mo?
Umaapila ako – habang payapa pa tayo – i-educate ninyo ang mga sarili ninyo, imulat ang mga mata, at maging tunay na bukas sa pakikipag-kaibigan at pakikipag-kapwa-tao sa mga bakla at lesbian – sa lahat ng klase - at nang maliwanagan ang pinakasuluk-sulok ng puso ninyo kung saan nagtatago pa rin si Anita, si Isagani, at marami pang iba.
Baka kasi dumating ang panahon na we might have to take sides again at gusto kong matiyak na ang huhugutin mong pinakapinanindigan, que aware ka man dito noon o hindi, ay hindi iyong may bahid ng faith ni Faith: “It says so in the Bible…God created Adam and Eve.”
I SWEAR, HINDI LANG FRUIT PIE ANG PATATAMAIN KO SA MUKHA MO!
***
In fairness to Faith, the last time I talked to her, she suggested the title of this entry. It's a start.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Dear Joyette
02 February 2009
Dear Joyette,
I wanted to blog about this, but then writing you instead might be more prudent. I just finished reading your father’s biography, “U.G. – An Underground Tale (The Journey of Edgar Jopson and the First Quarter Storm Generation” by Benjamin Pimentel. Bought the book a few months back but never got to read it, but when I started I couldn’t put it down. Mas mahilig talaga akong magbasa ng non-fiction, kesa fiction; ‘yung hiniram ko ngang “Para Kay B” na unang nobela ni Ricky Lee napakatagal ko bago natapos.
Gusto ko lang sabihin sa’yo na idol ko ang tatay mo, ang nanay mo, ikaw, at ang buong pamilya n’yo. Before reading the book, I was only vaguely familiar with your father’s martyrdom, kaya mas lalo akong napabilib at namangha nang mabasa ko na ang kuwento niya. Though largely apolitical, even during my days as a UP student, I’ve always felt that I owe a lot to your father’s generation, kasi sila talaga ‘yung nag-sacrifice ng normal na pamumuhay para lang makapag-aral ako sa UP nang hindi nahihinto dahil may diktaturyang kailangang kalabanin. Dahil isinantabi ng tatay mo ang komportableng buhay, at isang financially rewarding career path, walang gaanong guilt kong magugugol ang mga panahon ko para matupad ang mga personal kong pangarap. Ultimo ang passion ko ngayon na maging bahagi ng malayang media ay isang posibilidad na malaking utang ko sa tatay mo.
Buhay pa rin ang spirit ng activism noong estudyante ako nu’ng 90’s pero hindi talaga ako nahikayat sumali dahil naniniwala ako na iba na ang pagsislbing hinihingi ng aking bayan, and that is to be the best “civil” citizen that I can be. Hanggang sa ngayon ‘yan ang pinanindigan ko. Isang rason nga kung bakit ako nag-Mass Comm eh dahil alam ko na makakahanap ako ng fulfillment sa trabaho sa ganu’ng karera kahit andito ako sa Pilipinas, kesa kung mag-Med ako na tulad ng gusto ng mommy ko. Feeling ko kasi kapag nag-doktor ako, mahihikayat lang akong mag-abroad. Hindi ko ring pangarap pasukin ang pulitika, o ang magsilbi sa gobyerno bilang civil servant dahil hindi ako siguradong incorruptible ako. Natatakot kasi ako na sa daling mangurakot sa gobyerno, hindi ako matutukso at maja-justify ko na lang ‘yun ng anumang bullshit na tulad ng true, good, and beautiful ni Imelda.
When your father was a student leader, my parents met and got engaged. In the year Martial Law was declared, the catalyst that led your father to go underground, my parents got married and started a family. They moved into our own home in Marikina a few months before your father headed the CPP’s Metro Manila organization in 1979. I was a few months old then. My parents made a decision to try to live a normal life despite the political and economic injustices then; while your parents chose to fight.
My grandparents will never know how it is not knowing where my parents exactly are, or if they’re safe, or even alive. Lola and lola will never know how it is to visit an obviously tortured son in a military camp. My kuyas, unlike your Kuya Nonoy, will never know how to maintain a relationship with absentee parents, who keep in touch through voice tapes; or to regularly move clandestinely from one house to another. Our family will never know how it is to get a phonecall confirming a report that a loved one has died in a raid. We will never know precisely your pain, but we will never, ever forget the sacrifices of courageous and glorious families like yours. Families like the Agapays owe a lot to families like the Jopsons.
Alam ko na ngayon ang hangad ng iyong ina eh mapanatiling buhay ang alaala ni Edjop sa isang henerasyong namulat na sa kalayaang bunga na rin ng kanyang mga ipinaglaban, at ikinamatay. Please assure her na hindi ako makakalimot, hindi kami makakalimot, at habambuhay kong sisikaping tanawin ang aking malaking utang na loob sa tatay mo... Maraming, maraming salamat.
Mabuhay,
Rey
Dear Joyette,
I wanted to blog about this, but then writing you instead might be more prudent. I just finished reading your father’s biography, “U.G. – An Underground Tale (The Journey of Edgar Jopson and the First Quarter Storm Generation” by Benjamin Pimentel. Bought the book a few months back but never got to read it, but when I started I couldn’t put it down. Mas mahilig talaga akong magbasa ng non-fiction, kesa fiction; ‘yung hiniram ko ngang “Para Kay B” na unang nobela ni Ricky Lee napakatagal ko bago natapos.
Gusto ko lang sabihin sa’yo na idol ko ang tatay mo, ang nanay mo, ikaw, at ang buong pamilya n’yo. Before reading the book, I was only vaguely familiar with your father’s martyrdom, kaya mas lalo akong napabilib at namangha nang mabasa ko na ang kuwento niya. Though largely apolitical, even during my days as a UP student, I’ve always felt that I owe a lot to your father’s generation, kasi sila talaga ‘yung nag-sacrifice ng normal na pamumuhay para lang makapag-aral ako sa UP nang hindi nahihinto dahil may diktaturyang kailangang kalabanin. Dahil isinantabi ng tatay mo ang komportableng buhay, at isang financially rewarding career path, walang gaanong guilt kong magugugol ang mga panahon ko para matupad ang mga personal kong pangarap. Ultimo ang passion ko ngayon na maging bahagi ng malayang media ay isang posibilidad na malaking utang ko sa tatay mo.
Buhay pa rin ang spirit ng activism noong estudyante ako nu’ng 90’s pero hindi talaga ako nahikayat sumali dahil naniniwala ako na iba na ang pagsislbing hinihingi ng aking bayan, and that is to be the best “civil” citizen that I can be. Hanggang sa ngayon ‘yan ang pinanindigan ko. Isang rason nga kung bakit ako nag-Mass Comm eh dahil alam ko na makakahanap ako ng fulfillment sa trabaho sa ganu’ng karera kahit andito ako sa Pilipinas, kesa kung mag-Med ako na tulad ng gusto ng mommy ko. Feeling ko kasi kapag nag-doktor ako, mahihikayat lang akong mag-abroad. Hindi ko ring pangarap pasukin ang pulitika, o ang magsilbi sa gobyerno bilang civil servant dahil hindi ako siguradong incorruptible ako. Natatakot kasi ako na sa daling mangurakot sa gobyerno, hindi ako matutukso at maja-justify ko na lang ‘yun ng anumang bullshit na tulad ng true, good, and beautiful ni Imelda.
When your father was a student leader, my parents met and got engaged. In the year Martial Law was declared, the catalyst that led your father to go underground, my parents got married and started a family. They moved into our own home in Marikina a few months before your father headed the CPP’s Metro Manila organization in 1979. I was a few months old then. My parents made a decision to try to live a normal life despite the political and economic injustices then; while your parents chose to fight.
My grandparents will never know how it is not knowing where my parents exactly are, or if they’re safe, or even alive. Lola and lola will never know how it is to visit an obviously tortured son in a military camp. My kuyas, unlike your Kuya Nonoy, will never know how to maintain a relationship with absentee parents, who keep in touch through voice tapes; or to regularly move clandestinely from one house to another. Our family will never know how it is to get a phonecall confirming a report that a loved one has died in a raid. We will never know precisely your pain, but we will never, ever forget the sacrifices of courageous and glorious families like yours. Families like the Agapays owe a lot to families like the Jopsons.
Alam ko na ngayon ang hangad ng iyong ina eh mapanatiling buhay ang alaala ni Edjop sa isang henerasyong namulat na sa kalayaang bunga na rin ng kanyang mga ipinaglaban, at ikinamatay. Please assure her na hindi ako makakalimot, hindi kami makakalimot, at habambuhay kong sisikaping tanawin ang aking malaking utang na loob sa tatay mo... Maraming, maraming salamat.
Mabuhay,
Rey
