Monday, July 03, 2006



Another young college-aged woman is pregnant. She isn’t ready for this. She still has one year to go before getting her degree from UP. She was recently elected officer of her org. She dreams of living the independent woman’s life ala-Sex In the City when she starts working and she could have done just that because she is beautiful, sexy, intelligent, funny, talented, and strong. But now all her potentials and all her dreams have been put on hold. For the next nine months. And after that she would have to take a different life course. I’ve seen friends in the same situation before. And they managed to beautifully sail through that rough chapter. They are now happy mothers to happy children. But I often wonder (and I surmise they also do) how different their lives could have been if they didn’t get pregnant.

She recently flew back to her hometown to face the dreaded task of breaking the news to her parents. She will skip the very exciting senior year in college. For a while she resisted the change, thinking she could still go on with her routine despite the, uhm, extra load but soon realized that having a baby is just way too big a change for it not to affect just about everything. I’ve seen this typical story in way too many friends of mine. I’m getting angry.

I’m angry at the judgmental stance almost everyone has on these women. Give them a break! They’re going through a very difficult time. Yes, my friends chose to be sexually active and they put themselves in situations that resulted to their pregnancy, but that doesn’t make them malandi or pokpok. That’s the problem with teaching only abstinence. Those who don’t are given so many bad labels. No, only women who don’t abstain get the nasty labels. Boys who don’t abstain are macho, matinik, matulis.

I am angry at how the consequences and responsibilioties that come with unplanned pregnancy always fall on the woman.

I am angry at the OB-Gyne who refused to provide my female friends information on contraceptives because she believes abstinence is the only way to go.

I am angry that the Church still insists to live in the Middle Ages, refusing to recognize people’s rights to choose for themselves, and their right to be educated about every possible option.

I am angry with the government for not having the balls to stand up against the religious and say “you preach what you have to preach and we do what we have to do.”

I am angry with Mayor Lito Atienza and his City Hall for withholding the free contraceptives available to the poor families of Manila.

Because by the looks of it, it seems my friend won’t be the last one. That makes me angry.

Very nice site! » »
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