Wednesday, July 26, 2006

 

Baby Trumps Husband

Sa Grey’s Anatomy: “You should do this for me. I saved your husband.” “But she saved my baby.” “So baby trumps husband?!” “Yes.” “Baby trumps husband?!?”

My mom would have said, “No!”

When I was in Grade 2, isa sa mga readings namin ang kuwento ng isang babae who had to choose who among her husband, brother and son should be spared by the king. I asked my mom that question. She told me, her eight-year old son, “Ako pipiliin ko ang asawa ko.”

“Ang kapatid ko he’s lived his life already. ‘Yung anak, puwede pa kaming magkaroon ng anak. Pero ang asawa mo sinumpaan mo ‘yan sa harap ng Diyos.” Awwww…

My parents have been married 34 years at hindi ko pa sila nakitang nagkaroon ng major na pagtatalo, naghiwalay pansamantala, nagtampuhan, hindi nagpansinan. I’m sure it wasn’t perfect pero siguro mahal na mahal nila ang isa’t isa na hindi talaga nagiging malaki ang mga away nila. Commenting on an aunt na nakipagbatuhan pa raw ng ashtray sa kanyang now ex-husband, sabi ng mommy ko, “You should always respect each other. Kahit na nag-aaway kayo, you should always respect each other.”

The longest time na nagkahiwalay ang parents ko was nu’ng pumunta ng US si mommy to visit my grandparents. Nagising ako in the middle of the night para uminom at nakita ko ang daddy ko sa may terrace, pacing and smoking again kahit na matagal na siyang nag-quit. ‘Talagang miss na miss na miss niya si mommy.

Nu’ng Grade 4 ako mom was stricken with meningitis. Mahigit isang buwan siya sa UST Hospital. Meningitis is a viral disease that affects the brain at umabot na sa point na hindi na kilala ni mommy ang mga anak at ang asawa niya. There was also the danger of her being a vegetable. Ang stand ng daddy ko throughout that ordeal: handa siyang mag-alaga ng gulay basta ‘wag lang mamatay si mommy.

One of the best gifts my parents have ever given me is their wonderful marriage. And I also hate them for it. Their marriage makes me believe in fairy tales, na puwedeng magkatotoo ‘yung lahat ng mga romantic notions natin. This makes the absence of love in my life even more frustrating.

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