I'm a Baby!

Takot na takot na takot ako.

Last night i felt like I was coming down with something. Now that the Boracay Regatta is just a couple of weeks away, I couldn't afford to fall ill. So I cancelled my carpool for training, my regular SOP meeting and my pictorial in Laguna. Just stayed home today. But I wasn't rested at all. I spent the whole day just petrified.
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Tomorrow morning I will be performing in Tagaytay. Got this stand-up comedy gig when Alexa, a writer friend from college, suggested me to her account executive, Oz, who happened to have seen me do an impromptu act in Pagudpud. I don't know why I accepted the gig and now I'm very, very afriad. So afraid to screw up. I know 90% of the game is won through confidence and just worrying, even ranting about it here in is not helping. But I'm really, really afraid.

Then I realized just how much of a coward I am. Here I am being proud of my sense of humor but performing a stand-up comedy act scares the hell out of me. Basta duwag ako.

Just the other day, while stuck in traffic from training, a female temmate Maita asked, "Rey, what will you do if you like someone pero parang hindi magiging kayo?" Siyempre tinawanan namin 'yung kanyang pino-propose na conversation topic lalo pa't napakainit kahit pa aircon sa sasakyan ni JJ.

At ngayon nari-realize ko na maging sa love duwag ako kasi ang sagot ko: "Kasi ako kapag may iota of possibility na hindi magiging OK, I would quit. I'm not a risk-taker." Duwag. duwag. duwag.

Masaya ba'ko? Ewan. Wouldn't make any difference naman, eh. Ganyan naman ang mga duwag na taong tulad ko.