Monday, October 02, 2006



Flowers! I’m gonna give him flowers!

And with that thought - sa traffic, habang minamasdan ko ang bagyo sa labas ng cab - I got to know myself a bit more.


Gusto ko ‘yung “Got 2 Believe,” ang huling pelikula nina Claudine at Rico Yan but I found the part nu’ng sinasabi ng mga spinster sisters ng character ni Claudine (played by Maribeth Bichara and Jackie Castillejo) na malalaman mong in love si Claudine kapag sininok siya too unbelievable and too corny, even for a romantic-comedy. Puwede ba! Falling in love is such an enigma even a person in love has difficulty ascertaining its authenticity. Only people imagined by some mediocre writer could display a tangible sign of being in love! Pero ngayon dapat mang nako-cornihan na’ko sa sarili ko mas natutuwa pa’ko dahil, unlike most people, madali ko nang malalaman kung in love nga ako. (But now that I’m aware of this previously unnoticed part of my character, maaaring hindi na siya reliable sa susunod. Oh, well…)

Funny because I never understood flowers. They’re expensive and useless. I’ve asked girl pals quite a lot of times if they really appreciate it kasi hindi ko talaga ma-gets. Ako hanggang ngayon hindi ko ire-require na bigyan ako ng flowers and while I might appreciate being the recipient of a bouquet I don’t think I will give it as much thought as my giving flowers apparently has a lot more to it.

Dalawang tao pa lang ang binigyan ko ng flowers.

Flower recipient #1 caused my biggest, most horrendous, still-embarrassed-to-talk-about-it heartbreak of my life. Hope I would never feel that much pain ever again.

Hindi naging kami. Basted na sa simula palang but before this self-enlightenment ‘yung naramdaman ko para sa kanya ang naging batayan ko kung mahal ko na nga ba ‘yung mga sumunod kong nakilala with whom I did have a romantic relationship.

Flower recipient #2 had me crying at Jollibee Philcoa, punch the wall while screaming like a madman at Greenbelt after a mauling incident that had my name in some police blotter.

He was my first boyfriend to whom I gave three dozen red roses na nabili ko pa sa Baguio. (I never got the chance to give flowers to my other two boyfriends, nor the two girlfriends before them.)

Two bouquets in eight years. Hindi pala ako madalas ma-in love! I think I’ll go ahead and give him Flowers. It’s scary but could anything worse ever happen

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