Tuesday, February 23, 2010

 

Remembering the First Time

Whoa! Do I actually have the time to write a blog entry? Tehnically, I have a meeting that should have started six minutes ago but since meetings among TV people start about an hour later than scheduled, it seems I do have time. Besides, kelangan kong magbisi-busyhan dito dahil nadatnan ba naman ako ng VP for Enterainment TV at Direk Leo Martinez sa aming opisina na nagpa-powernap! OK, kasi kahapon muntik na’kong maiyak sa meeting…

I’ve always had this memory from my childhood. After so many years of that memory randomly flashing in my mind like it were the most natural thing in the world, I decided to call my sister while I was in the middle of the meeting to confirm the veracity of that mental image.

Tin, naaala mo ba nu’ng bata tayo, ‘yung namamasyal tayo sa Rustan’s Cubao tapos binibili tayo ni mommy ng donut na may asukal?

Oo.

Lagi ko kasing naalala ‘yung time na minsan gusto pa natin ng donut tapos sabi ni mommy, “Di kayo ang bumili.” Tapos binigyan niya tayo ng pera, excited tayo’t magkahawak-kamay pang pumunta sa stall tapos sabay tayong nagsabi ng, “Pabiling donut!” Naaalala mo ‘yun?

Hindi.

Ah…OK…Pero mukhang nangyari naman ‘yun? Kasi hindi ko sure kung nangyari talaga ‘yun. ‘Yun yata ang earliest memory ko.

Ilang taon ka ba nu’n tingin mo?

Hmmm…Mga five or six?

Five or six?! (trained sa SPED ang sister kong mother of one) Eh, mga three years old palang ang bata may memory na siya, eh.

Ah, ganu’n ba? Pero itong naalala ko, mukhang nangyari naman?

Oo naman.

For some reason, na-validate ako ng phone conversation na’yun. More than that memory, those few minutes on the phone re-connected me to my sister na siya namang pinaka-close kong kapatid while growing up. Siguro we started drifting apart nu’ng nag-high school na kami. She started having her own barkada, and I had my own, but the foundation of our relationship has got to be the so many shared firsts in our lives, including, it seems, our very first time buying unsupervised from a store.

Nagpatuloy ang sabay naming pagre-reconnect sa’ming childhood when my sister shared her early memory:
Ang natatandaan ko nu’n ‘yung hinahatid ka naming ni dad sa school mo. Naka-pajamas ako, hawak ko pa’yung mahaba kong unan tapos papasok ka nu’n sa school.

While she was sharing that story, nag-flash naman sa ulo ko ang corresponding experience ko in that story.
Talaga? Naalala mo ‘yan? Para kasing naaalala ko nga ‘yang hinatid n’yo ako ni dad tapos papasok ako sa classroom tapos nililingon ko kayo habang nasa sasakyan kayo. Galeng!

We wrapped up our conversation and we went back to our separate schedules. Then this text:

Naalala ko nu’n, hindi ako makalabas para maglaro kung ayaw mo ring lumabas kasi gusto mo lang manood ng TV o mag-imagine, kahit gustung-gusto ko maglaro sa labas kasi gusto ko kasama kita lagi. Tsaka nahihinto laro namin ‘pag bigla ka na lang uuwi ng bahay. Hindi ko alam kung ba’t gusto mong umuw, siguro ‘pag sinusumpong ka gusto mo lang umuwi o kaya manood ng TV. Minsan lang naman mangyari ‘yun. TOTOO ito.

Reading this made me wanna cry. Parang nagi-guilty ako na ewan. Then another text. Na-open na ‘yung floodgates of childhood memories ni Tin-Tin.

May memory din akong nasa garahe ka tapos nakasandal ka sa wall, nakabihis ka pang-alis – t-shirt, shorts, rubbershoes. Sad ka nu’n or umiiyak ka yata kasi maysakit ka. Dadalhin ka yata sa doktor nila ma, parang hindi mo’ko naririnig nu’n.

This I absolutely don’t remember, but I’ve always suspected that I got my hearing impairment this one time when I got hospitalized for very high fever when I was kid.

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