Monday, September 25, 2006
Deal or No Deal?!
Isang briefcase na lang ang natitira bukod sa briefcase na napili ko. 10 at 2 milyon na lang ang hindi nabubuksan. 1M ang offer ng banker.
‘Yan ang lovelife ko ngayon.
Tanong ni Cupido (hmmm…come to think of it Kris was born on Valentine’s): Rey, Deal or No Deal?!
Nakakatakot pero gusto mo lang pumusta nang pumusta. After all, hindi naman ako madalas maka-feel ng ganito.
May sampung piso na’ko so kung ‘yun ang laman ng briefcase, no harm done. Pero kung HINDI…Hay! Nakaka-thrill ang pagbabakasakaling dalawang milyon pala ang naandu’n.
Tama si Sheila nang sinabi niyang “stupidity gives you a high that smartness can’t.”
‘Yan ang lovelife ko ngayon.
Tanong ni Cupido (hmmm…come to think of it Kris was born on Valentine’s): Rey, Deal or No Deal?!
Nakakatakot pero gusto mo lang pumusta nang pumusta. After all, hindi naman ako madalas maka-feel ng ganito.
May sampung piso na’ko so kung ‘yun ang laman ng briefcase, no harm done. Pero kung HINDI…Hay! Nakaka-thrill ang pagbabakasakaling dalawang milyon pala ang naandu’n.
Tama si Sheila nang sinabi niyang “stupidity gives you a high that smartness can’t.”
Alanis Sings Again
Dati nireklamo ng governing body ng mga Filipino nurses ang pagsusuot ng Baywalk Bodies ng nurse costume sa kanilang shows. Nakakabastos nga naman sa kanilang marangal na trabaho na magsuot ng little white dress at nurse cap ang mga hubaderang ito.
Ngayon, naiiskandalo ang buong nursing “industry” dahil sa leakage sa kanilang board exams. Mga high officials pa ang sangkot. Ang mga estudyante naman na walang ibang pinangarap kundi lumayas sa bansang itong pinasumpa kahit kinukuwestiyon pa ang integrity ng kanilang pagkapasa.
Ang sarap tumawa nang mapang-asar.
Minsan, para hindi mapansin ang baho mo, ituturo mong umutot ‘yung iba.
Ngayon, naiiskandalo ang buong nursing “industry” dahil sa leakage sa kanilang board exams. Mga high officials pa ang sangkot. Ang mga estudyante naman na walang ibang pinangarap kundi lumayas sa bansang itong pinasumpa kahit kinukuwestiyon pa ang integrity ng kanilang pagkapasa.
Ang sarap tumawa nang mapang-asar.
Minsan, para hindi mapansin ang baho mo, ituturo mong umutot ‘yung iba.
Starstruck Auditions ni Rikki
check out my Friendster and Starstruck co-writer Rikki Lopez's blog on the latest FUNNY STARSTRUCK AUDITIONS. Ako kasi this weekend pa lang magsisimulang magpa-audition so mga nakakalokang kuwento niya muna ang basahin n'yo! At nakakaloka talaga siya! FYI, si Rikki rin ang writer ng Tigbak Authority sa Startalk, now a classic!
(Isa siya sa mga dahilan kung bakit natutuwa ako sa mga Starstruck meetings kasi parang laging usapang lasing kahit iced tea at kape ang tinatagay!)
http://arlo0611.blogs.friendster.com/the_gospel_of_ishna/2006/09/sept_24_sun_mal.html
(Isa siya sa mga dahilan kung bakit natutuwa ako sa mga Starstruck meetings kasi parang laging usapang lasing kahit iced tea at kape ang tinatagay!)
http://arlo0611.blogs.friendster.com/the_gospel_of_ishna/2006/09/sept_24_sun_mal.html
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Txt Thread
17-Sety-2006
18:56:05
Congrat! Don’t 4get 2 b here4 diner on tues til0breakfast d ff day . takecre I luv0u
7-Sety-2006
21:24:05
Siempre ang ggulo kanina sa McDO blowout lolo Wally.
20-Hul-2006
23:42:24
Ifur 2 busy on wkends feel free tovisit on wkdays.. kasi mis namankita
20-Hul-2006
23:35:19
Gudnite ric luv u-mommy
Pasensiya na’t medyo personal ang mga ‘to. Inisip ko lang kasi na uploading these messages in my blog is the safest way of saving them kasi limited ang inbox memory ng phone ko. Mukhang matagal-tagal pa kasi bago ulit makakapag-textan kami ng parents ko sa pagbalik nila sa States.
And as I lie at the shampoo station of Vivere Salon sa Galleria, naiyak talaga ako. Kasi ang sakit-sakit pala ng threading. Ito kasing stylist ko for the past nine months na si Marlon bigla ba namang sinuggest, sabay labas ng sinulid. Ayusin daw niya kilay ko. Eh, ako naman when it comes to my hair – and anything about the salon – I just tell them “Bahala ka na.” I give my utmost trust to these people who know more about hair than I could ever know about my own hair. Besides, it’s hard to say no to Marlon – chintio-guwapo, around 5’10”, well-built, masikip ang jeans, at machung-macho. Ang mga stylist ng Vivere ang inspiration sa guwapong hairdresser sa bagong Palmolive commercial. Mga model na hindi nag-take-off ang career o mga macho dancer na gusto nang magbagong-buhay yata ang mga naggugupit dito! At magagaling pa, nagte-training sa London!
So ngayon heto ako sa last meeting for the day, at namamaga ang aking arch. Ewan ko if it made any difference. At least na-try kahit minsan. Dati my mom opened up to me a few months after her mother passed away. “Ngayon ko nga lang lumabas sa Reader’s Digest. Dapat pala kapag merong mamamatay, pinag-uusapan n’yo.” Bagong concept ‘yun, ‘di ba, kaya hindi rin dapat sisihin ni mommy ang sarili niya. Para ngang morbid and bad manners to talk to a dying person about her impending demise. Pero, oo nga, it may be awkward at first pero mas maganda ngang napag-uusapan din…
My mommy monster and daddy are both in their sixties at napaka-energetic pa nila. Longevity also runs in the family so they would have at least 20 more years. I’ll be well into my 40’s bago ako maging ulila. But still I worry. I was the first to move out among their children. Ngayon sila naman ang aalis at this time mas matagal-tagal sila ru’n. Did I spend enough time with them? Parang nakukulangan tuloy ako sa mga ilang oras na pagbisita ko sa Marikina at sa padinner-dinner namin. Tuwing Pasko at New Year lang ako tumatagal-tagal du’n, minsan hindi pa’ko talaga nag-oovernight. Nu’ng huling New Year magtu-twelve midnight na rin ako dumating. Minsan pa umuuwi rin ako pagkatapos ng celebration dahil ayoko na ring matulog du’n. Iniisip ko pa ngayon na hindi ko tinitignan sa mata si mommy tuwing nagki-kiss ako sa kanya. Ngayon dapat dinner nasa bahay na’ko pero may 7pm meeting pa’ko sa isang raket na hindi ko naatendan ang last meeting kaya nakakahiya nang hindi umatend ngayon. Ilang oras na lang ang gugugulin ko sa kanila before their flight mamayang madaling-araw.
Bitin.
18:56:05
Congrat! Don’t 4get 2 b here4 diner on tues til0breakfast d ff day . takecre I luv0u
7-Sety-2006
21:24:05
Siempre ang ggulo kanina sa McDO blowout lolo Wally.
20-Hul-2006
23:42:24
Ifur 2 busy on wkends feel free tovisit on wkdays.. kasi mis namankita
20-Hul-2006
23:35:19
Gudnite ric luv u-mommy
Pasensiya na’t medyo personal ang mga ‘to. Inisip ko lang kasi na uploading these messages in my blog is the safest way of saving them kasi limited ang inbox memory ng phone ko. Mukhang matagal-tagal pa kasi bago ulit makakapag-textan kami ng parents ko sa pagbalik nila sa States.
And as I lie at the shampoo station of Vivere Salon sa Galleria, naiyak talaga ako. Kasi ang sakit-sakit pala ng threading. Ito kasing stylist ko for the past nine months na si Marlon bigla ba namang sinuggest, sabay labas ng sinulid. Ayusin daw niya kilay ko. Eh, ako naman when it comes to my hair – and anything about the salon – I just tell them “Bahala ka na.” I give my utmost trust to these people who know more about hair than I could ever know about my own hair. Besides, it’s hard to say no to Marlon – chintio-guwapo, around 5’10”, well-built, masikip ang jeans, at machung-macho. Ang mga stylist ng Vivere ang inspiration sa guwapong hairdresser sa bagong Palmolive commercial. Mga model na hindi nag-take-off ang career o mga macho dancer na gusto nang magbagong-buhay yata ang mga naggugupit dito! At magagaling pa, nagte-training sa London!
So ngayon heto ako sa last meeting for the day, at namamaga ang aking arch. Ewan ko if it made any difference. At least na-try kahit minsan. Dati my mom opened up to me a few months after her mother passed away. “Ngayon ko nga lang lumabas sa Reader’s Digest. Dapat pala kapag merong mamamatay, pinag-uusapan n’yo.” Bagong concept ‘yun, ‘di ba, kaya hindi rin dapat sisihin ni mommy ang sarili niya. Para ngang morbid and bad manners to talk to a dying person about her impending demise. Pero, oo nga, it may be awkward at first pero mas maganda ngang napag-uusapan din…
My mommy monster and daddy are both in their sixties at napaka-energetic pa nila. Longevity also runs in the family so they would have at least 20 more years. I’ll be well into my 40’s bago ako maging ulila. But still I worry. I was the first to move out among their children. Ngayon sila naman ang aalis at this time mas matagal-tagal sila ru’n. Did I spend enough time with them? Parang nakukulangan tuloy ako sa mga ilang oras na pagbisita ko sa Marikina at sa padinner-dinner namin. Tuwing Pasko at New Year lang ako tumatagal-tagal du’n, minsan hindi pa’ko talaga nag-oovernight. Nu’ng huling New Year magtu-twelve midnight na rin ako dumating. Minsan pa umuuwi rin ako pagkatapos ng celebration dahil ayoko na ring matulog du’n. Iniisip ko pa ngayon na hindi ko tinitignan sa mata si mommy tuwing nagki-kiss ako sa kanya. Ngayon dapat dinner nasa bahay na’ko pero may 7pm meeting pa’ko sa isang raket na hindi ko naatendan ang last meeting kaya nakakahiya nang hindi umatend ngayon. Ilang oras na lang ang gugugulin ko sa kanila before their flight mamayang madaling-araw.
Bitin.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Flyin' Away From Home
Tomorrow, my mommy monster and daddy are taking the 5AM flight to San Diego. And this time they’ll be gone for at least three years. When they both retired a couple of years ago, they lived in the US as immigrants. This was made by possible by a petition of my dad’s eldest sister eons ago. Ngayon hindi na yata puwedeng i-petition ng kapatid ang isang married sibling. Oh, and this aunt is among the pioneer Filipino nurses in the US and is among the first female, and non-MD to be administrator of an American Hospital.
Just a few weeks ago, another Aunt and her husband vacationed here. This aunt naman was among the first Filipino medical technologists to work in the US, my Uncle served in the US Navy. She was telling me to come visit. “Get a tourist Visa. Then try mo mag-apply sa mga TV stations du’n.” My mom does tell me that I might be the easiest to petition since I’m her youngest, single child. Sounds tempting since dream writing jobs ko ang Oscars at ang Miss Universe Pageant but I’m not really interested. Besides my aunt immediately follows her invitation with “kunsabagay mahirap kapag tourist ka ru’n. Hindi ka babayaran nang tama. Aapihin ka.” Hindi ko yata feel api-apihin. Dito na lang ako and continue to work on the fulfillment of my dream to become the third Filipina Miss Universe!
Aside from these two aunts, I have cousins who are nurses in the States (including one who, like her husband, is actually a medical doctor in the Philippines.) My maternal grandparents died American citizens (that’s why we called them grampa and gramma when they decided to spend their last years with us.) I also have cousins, nephews and nieces with American surnames who’ve never lived in the Philippines. As you can see, my family has a long immigrant tradition. How do I reconcile this with my “Don’t Leave the Philippines”-themed blogs? Ewan.
Except siguro the fact that my belief is not borne out of Anti-American sentiments. I benefit from the package na amoy Stateside and the token dollars my balikbayan relatives give away. Pro-Filipino stance ‘yung sa akin. Besides, I’ve never heard any of my American relatives speak ill of this country. When they come here, all they can say is how happy they are to be home.
Just a few weeks ago, another Aunt and her husband vacationed here. This aunt naman was among the first Filipino medical technologists to work in the US, my Uncle served in the US Navy. She was telling me to come visit. “Get a tourist Visa. Then try mo mag-apply sa mga TV stations du’n.” My mom does tell me that I might be the easiest to petition since I’m her youngest, single child. Sounds tempting since dream writing jobs ko ang Oscars at ang Miss Universe Pageant but I’m not really interested. Besides my aunt immediately follows her invitation with “kunsabagay mahirap kapag tourist ka ru’n. Hindi ka babayaran nang tama. Aapihin ka.” Hindi ko yata feel api-apihin. Dito na lang ako and continue to work on the fulfillment of my dream to become the third Filipina Miss Universe!
Aside from these two aunts, I have cousins who are nurses in the States (including one who, like her husband, is actually a medical doctor in the Philippines.) My maternal grandparents died American citizens (that’s why we called them grampa and gramma when they decided to spend their last years with us.) I also have cousins, nephews and nieces with American surnames who’ve never lived in the Philippines. As you can see, my family has a long immigrant tradition. How do I reconcile this with my “Don’t Leave the Philippines”-themed blogs? Ewan.
Except siguro the fact that my belief is not borne out of Anti-American sentiments. I benefit from the package na amoy Stateside and the token dollars my balikbayan relatives give away. Pro-Filipino stance ‘yung sa akin. Besides, I’ve never heard any of my American relatives speak ill of this country. When they come here, all they can say is how happy they are to be home.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Hindi Lang Mahirap ang Bawal sa Ateneo
Ito nakakapanggigil talaga…
‘Yung kaibigan ko ie-enroll niya dapat ang anak niya sa Ateneo. Kaso hinahanapan siya ng marriage contract.
I’ve known PAREF (read: Opus Dei) Schools like Woodrose and Southride to have such an appalling policy of not accepting children of parents who are unwed, separated or divorced from each other, but I kinda expected more from this Jesuit Institution.
But then again, the University banned the Vagina Monologues from being performed in their campus (causing some enlightened faculty members to resign).
All in all, it’s a good school. But what does this say about us? Kung sa batas nga wala nang “illegitimate” child… One explanation I’ve heard about such policy is that the children will only feel left out in family-oriented activities. Mas mabuti nga namang iwasan na lang ang mga ganu’ng sitwasyon kesa harapin ng mga educators, ‘di ba? Tsk tsk tsk
I don’t need to expound kung bakit mali ang Ateneo rito.
Sunud-sunod lang ‘yan, eh…Nag-e-exist ang isang ex-Justice Isagani Cruz na walang pakundangang ine-espouse ang violence against homosexuals (and say he’s only exercising his right) dahil mahirap pang marespeto talaga natin ang pagkapantay-patay ng lahat ng tao kung mismong ang mga eskuwelahan, at ang Simbahan ganito kasama kung tratuhin ang kabataan at ang sangkababaihan. (I say women because sige nga, ilang cases na’ng narining mo na unwed father ang namroblema dahil hindi niya ma-enroll anak niya dahil hindi siya kasal? This problem, most unfortunately, often falls on the woman who has deemed it wise not to marry the father of her child.)
Forget about us gay men. We’ve proved we can swim in rough seas. But please, in our sinking ship of a society, women and children first!
‘Yung kaibigan ko ie-enroll niya dapat ang anak niya sa Ateneo. Kaso hinahanapan siya ng marriage contract.
I’ve known PAREF (read: Opus Dei) Schools like Woodrose and Southride to have such an appalling policy of not accepting children of parents who are unwed, separated or divorced from each other, but I kinda expected more from this Jesuit Institution.
But then again, the University banned the Vagina Monologues from being performed in their campus (causing some enlightened faculty members to resign).
All in all, it’s a good school. But what does this say about us? Kung sa batas nga wala nang “illegitimate” child… One explanation I’ve heard about such policy is that the children will only feel left out in family-oriented activities. Mas mabuti nga namang iwasan na lang ang mga ganu’ng sitwasyon kesa harapin ng mga educators, ‘di ba? Tsk tsk tsk
I don’t need to expound kung bakit mali ang Ateneo rito.
Sunud-sunod lang ‘yan, eh…Nag-e-exist ang isang ex-Justice Isagani Cruz na walang pakundangang ine-espouse ang violence against homosexuals (and say he’s only exercising his right) dahil mahirap pang marespeto talaga natin ang pagkapantay-patay ng lahat ng tao kung mismong ang mga eskuwelahan, at ang Simbahan ganito kasama kung tratuhin ang kabataan at ang sangkababaihan. (I say women because sige nga, ilang cases na’ng narining mo na unwed father ang namroblema dahil hindi niya ma-enroll anak niya dahil hindi siya kasal? This problem, most unfortunately, often falls on the woman who has deemed it wise not to marry the father of her child.)
Forget about us gay men. We’ve proved we can swim in rough seas. But please, in our sinking ship of a society, women and children first!
26 Days To Go...
It's official! I will be racing in the upcoming White Rock Triathlon. I don't usually announce my races but this one's a big deal dahil nakaka-tense siya. Kinilabutan talaga ako nang una kong mabasa ang name ko among the list of participants. It's a Half-Ironman Race (1km Swim/90km Bike/21km Run) kaya nate-tense ako. Dinedma ko ang early bird discount dahil for the longest time duda talaga ako na ready na ako. Pero I've been training at marami nang nagsasabing pumayat na nga ako pero I don't think it's enough. Nakakapraning talaga!
Please, please pray for me. Sa Oct 7 na siya (which is my Dad's birthday)...Pray for me na rin this Sunday, September 17 because I'll be participating in the Lakeshore National Age-group Triathlon in preparation for White Rock.
WRT 2006 Participants List
Male
Hiroshi Takei
Miguel Lopez
Jojo Macalintal
Arturo Compra
Leonardo "Jayjay" De Ocampo
Jerry Santos
Rafael "Ytong" Torres
Jose Antonio "Bombee" Narciso
Jing Banaag
Vincent Joseph Tongson
Kiko Santos
June Kit
Johnny Escaler
Peter Yabut
Ramon Martin De Castro
Gregorio Borlongan
Antonio Arat
Ferdinand Sogoc
Wilson Lu
Jose "Jovy" Santos
Alvin Bernales
Roy Hernandez
Mark Ellis
Enrique "Rick" Yupangco
Maiqui Dayrit
Lorenzo "Larry" Ocampo
Jumbo Tayag
Harvie De Baron
Rolan Paul Veron Cruz
Jose Maria"Joey" Dolendo
Abe Tayag
Martin Gallaga
Jon-jon Rufino
Ryan Denosta
Umberto Morales
Leonardo Bonavente
Roy Adeva
Rune Stroem
Johann Carlo "JC" Manas
Jevon Ong
Ernesto Rivera
Victor Magno
Burke Fishburn
Jim Araneta
Paul John Galang
Niels Have
Raymond John "Raj" Moreno
Takahiro Ishihara
Pio Salvador Jr.
Boon Beng "Kenneth" Tan
Andrew Chinalpan Jr.
Rommel Turingan
David Charlton
Brian Mc Creath
Jurgen Swinckels
Andy Reyes
Bryan Lucas
Rey Christopher Agapay
Chris Pollard
Joey Rana
FEMALE
Nina Vera
Xhi Tagarda
Monica Torres
Jenny Rose Guerrero
Sonya Perez
Chari Ongyanco
Vivien Genato
Rizielle Tangan
Nona Torres
Geraldine Santiago
Popo Remigio
Kaye Lopez
Please, please pray for me. Sa Oct 7 na siya (which is my Dad's birthday)...Pray for me na rin this Sunday, September 17 because I'll be participating in the Lakeshore National Age-group Triathlon in preparation for White Rock.
WRT 2006 Participants List
Male
Hiroshi Takei
Miguel Lopez
Jojo Macalintal
Arturo Compra
Leonardo "Jayjay" De Ocampo
Jerry Santos
Rafael "Ytong" Torres
Jose Antonio "Bombee" Narciso
Jing Banaag
Vincent Joseph Tongson
Kiko Santos
June Kit
Johnny Escaler
Peter Yabut
Ramon Martin De Castro
Gregorio Borlongan
Antonio Arat
Ferdinand Sogoc
Wilson Lu
Jose "Jovy" Santos
Alvin Bernales
Roy Hernandez
Mark Ellis
Enrique "Rick" Yupangco
Maiqui Dayrit
Lorenzo "Larry" Ocampo
Jumbo Tayag
Harvie De Baron
Rolan Paul Veron Cruz
Jose Maria"Joey" Dolendo
Abe Tayag
Martin Gallaga
Jon-jon Rufino
Ryan Denosta
Umberto Morales
Leonardo Bonavente
Roy Adeva
Rune Stroem
Johann Carlo "JC" Manas
Jevon Ong
Ernesto Rivera
Victor Magno
Burke Fishburn
Jim Araneta
Paul John Galang
Niels Have
Raymond John "Raj" Moreno
Takahiro Ishihara
Pio Salvador Jr.
Boon Beng "Kenneth" Tan
Andrew Chinalpan Jr.
Rommel Turingan
David Charlton
Brian Mc Creath
Jurgen Swinckels
Andy Reyes
Bryan Lucas
Rey Christopher Agapay
Chris Pollard
Joey Rana
FEMALE
Nina Vera
Xhi Tagarda
Monica Torres
Jenny Rose Guerrero
Sonya Perez
Chari Ongyanco
Vivien Genato
Rizielle Tangan
Nona Torres
Geraldine Santiago
Popo Remigio
Kaye Lopez
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
My Unhappy Ending (Written by Cheryl Ingles)
MY GOOD FRIEND CHERYL, WHO HAS A VERY, VERY NICE BLOG (http://cheingles.blogs.friendster.com/my_turf/2006/08/batibot_at_iba_.html) WROTE THIS ABOUT ME A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO...
Saturday, June 19, 2004
he enters our place. a knowing smile on his face and an unmistakable change in his gait. another guy follows. rey gives me a subtle wink,as if saying, "Here he is."
i feel my face light up with understanding. i bite my tongue. hard, so i can keep my composure and fight the urge to exclaim, "Oh. My. Gawd."
then i think to myself:
Could this be...
the same rey who cried almost every night when we talked on the phone, mulling endlessly over a heartache so intense that not even his emotionally strong nature could help him cope with?
is this the same rey who had almost given up on finding THE one? The same rey who, perhaps in exasperation, resorted to promiscuity—taking in different partners night after night, trying to make himself forget the loneliness of not having someone, only to end up even moremiserable when he finds himself alone again after the steamy encounter? "Sex lang", he always said. and he got dangerously close to being convinced that he could never get past that.
is this really the same guy?
__________________
Philippine Independence Day doesn't hold that much importance to most filipinos nowadays, i know. but rey, for sure, will never see that day in the same way ever again.
it was a slip, alright. but one that gave rise to positive developments that came in torrents: happening so fast, hurriedly tumbling down, one after another. yet, rey reacted with such grace and poise, as if he was expecting it, as if he had it all planned, knowing
exactly what he had to do once it came.
he lovingly wrote in his testimonial for the guy, "Nung nakilala ko sya, I was emancipated from my incomplete existence."
i was struck: such simple wording, but held boundless profundity. The sincerity left me tingling.
then i texted him, lovingly congratulating him for finding what both of us have been whining about for years.
in countless drinking sessions, we shouted out loud (with teary eyes, no less) "Tangina, kelan ba tayo magkaka-lovelife?!" i've seen him in his worst days. not a pretty sight, i must say. for me, nothing can be
more heartbreaking than seeing the one I regard as "strong" crumbling.
now, love, when it came to him, brought him more than your usual "renewed strength." i've never seen anything else make him THIS happy. not even the CMMA Award, not making it to the UP rowing team, not reaching some mountain's summit (some of the things he thought of as insurmountable at the onset, but managed to conquer nonetheless). they still don't compare to the sheer delight and inspiration that love brought to his life.
"Yep. I have no doubt this will last" was his earnest reply when I jokingly commanded him, "Ingatan mo na yan ha!"
EMANCIPATED FROM AN INCOMPLETE EXISTENCE.
WOW. that must have felt so wonderful. what i wouldn't give to find such bliss. it's one cliche i wouldn't mind living...
i could just imagine:
the warmth of a loved one's embrace. the excitement. the relief in knowing, with unabated certainty, that there really is someone. And you have the concrete manifestation---in the flesh, sitting right beside you...all cozy and warm. but you snuggle closer. draw the deepest of breaths. then close your eyes because it is better relished that way. but you quickly reopen them. seeking assurance, for the millionth time, that you're not dreaming.
but then again, i could only imagine.
still, i believe i am more happy for him than envious. genuinely.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
he enters our place. a knowing smile on his face and an unmistakable change in his gait. another guy follows. rey gives me a subtle wink,as if saying, "Here he is."
i feel my face light up with understanding. i bite my tongue. hard, so i can keep my composure and fight the urge to exclaim, "Oh. My. Gawd."
then i think to myself:
Could this be...
the same rey who cried almost every night when we talked on the phone, mulling endlessly over a heartache so intense that not even his emotionally strong nature could help him cope with?
is this the same rey who had almost given up on finding THE one? The same rey who, perhaps in exasperation, resorted to promiscuity—taking in different partners night after night, trying to make himself forget the loneliness of not having someone, only to end up even moremiserable when he finds himself alone again after the steamy encounter? "Sex lang", he always said. and he got dangerously close to being convinced that he could never get past that.
is this really the same guy?
__________________
Philippine Independence Day doesn't hold that much importance to most filipinos nowadays, i know. but rey, for sure, will never see that day in the same way ever again.
it was a slip, alright. but one that gave rise to positive developments that came in torrents: happening so fast, hurriedly tumbling down, one after another. yet, rey reacted with such grace and poise, as if he was expecting it, as if he had it all planned, knowing
exactly what he had to do once it came.
he lovingly wrote in his testimonial for the guy, "Nung nakilala ko sya, I was emancipated from my incomplete existence."
i was struck: such simple wording, but held boundless profundity. The sincerity left me tingling.
then i texted him, lovingly congratulating him for finding what both of us have been whining about for years.
in countless drinking sessions, we shouted out loud (with teary eyes, no less) "Tangina, kelan ba tayo magkaka-lovelife?!" i've seen him in his worst days. not a pretty sight, i must say. for me, nothing can be
more heartbreaking than seeing the one I regard as "strong" crumbling.
now, love, when it came to him, brought him more than your usual "renewed strength." i've never seen anything else make him THIS happy. not even the CMMA Award, not making it to the UP rowing team, not reaching some mountain's summit (some of the things he thought of as insurmountable at the onset, but managed to conquer nonetheless). they still don't compare to the sheer delight and inspiration that love brought to his life.
"Yep. I have no doubt this will last" was his earnest reply when I jokingly commanded him, "Ingatan mo na yan ha!"
EMANCIPATED FROM AN INCOMPLETE EXISTENCE.
WOW. that must have felt so wonderful. what i wouldn't give to find such bliss. it's one cliche i wouldn't mind living...
i could just imagine:
the warmth of a loved one's embrace. the excitement. the relief in knowing, with unabated certainty, that there really is someone. And you have the concrete manifestation---in the flesh, sitting right beside you...all cozy and warm. but you snuggle closer. draw the deepest of breaths. then close your eyes because it is better relished that way. but you quickly reopen them. seeking assurance, for the millionth time, that you're not dreaming.
but then again, i could only imagine.
still, i believe i am more happy for him than envious. genuinely.
Finally, A Happy Ending in a Powerbarkada Love Story
Pagpasok pa lang ni Cindy sa Chapel for her march nag-iiyakan na ang buong Powerbarkada. Si Cindy kasi, eh! Umiiyak na agad! So kahit nasa secondary sponsors sina Thea at Val, si Carlo kasama ng mga groomsmen, si Roy at Celery nasa mga readers tapos si Val nasa commentator’s rostrum, at ako katabi ang ilang kaibigan ni Cindy nag-iiyakan talaga kami. Akala ko nga nu’ng una mukha akong tanga kasi hindi ko alam na ganito ang magiging reaksyon ko pero nu’ng nakita ko nang umiiyak ‘yung ibang Powerbarkada, hindi ko na pinigilan.
Love – the lack of it, the complications it brings, the search for it, everything about it – has always been a staple in every Powerbarkada conversation. Now one of us has, finally, found it so we can’t help but feel overwhelmingly happy. It may not happen to me, at least I know for sure that love is not life’s mirage.
Sa Fernwood Garden ang ceremony at reception. I’ve attended a wedding here in the evening (Rina’s parents’ 50th) and the place is just magical. Feeling mo talaga nasa isang enchanted garden with the mists, the swans, the waterfalls, flowers and starry lighting. Akala ko hindi na magiging ganu’n ang impact nu’ng venue kapag umaga. Pero iba ang charm nu’ng place kapag napupuno ng sunshine. After all, a garden is best seen in daylight, ‘di ba nga?
I hosted the reception at happy naman siya kasi mabilis lang ‘yung program at nakakain naman ako nang husto (sarap nu’ng chocolate fountain!). Gusto ko ‘yung messages ng mga godparents at nu’ng parents. Sabi ng mommy ni Mike “try to achieve a simple living.” And to think theirs is a well-to-do family, ha. Talagang masinop pa rin dapat. Personally, pinaka-na-strike ako sa message ng mom ni Cindy na kung sakali raw magkaproblema sila, tapatan ng “three F’s – Forgive, Forget Forever.”
The most romantic part was when Cindy surprised Mike with the song he always asks her to sing daw tuwing nagvi-videoke sila, Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love.” Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, Cindy can really. Hindi ‘yung tipong kaibigan mong magaling kumanta, ha. Siya talagang as in puwede siyang maging recording artist kaya ang ganda-ganda nu’ng pagkakakanta talaga. Sabi nga namin we’ve seen her sing so many times before but that was her most heartfelt perfomance yet! “I feel no shame! I’m in love! Sweet love…” Hay! Gusto ko ng boyfriend! Na marunong kumanta! Tapos kakantahan ako nang ganu’n!
Sabi ni Mike ayaw daw niyang tignan si Cindy sa mata. Kapag tumutingin daw siya diretso lang kasi maiiyak daw siya kapag matitigan niya si Cindy. Kuwento ni Thea sa group text niya sa Powerbarkada two days after:
“kaya ako naiyak nung kasal ni cindy dahil naisip ko how we used to watch sunset beach n oprah at pano kami mgemote tungkol sa lovelyf. Tapos nung Friday I saw how mike would lovingly stare at her wen she was not looking kasi according to mike pg tumingin cya pg nakatingin c cindy bka maiyak cya kaya he was avoiding na magkatinginan cla. I knew from d stares that he really loves her & will take care f her. That makes me so hapi coz dats what cindy dreamt of n shes got it. Ang saya, winer c papa mike! Ü”
Sulit talaga ang misadventures ko for this wedding. (Here goes my Kris Aquino moment na ibibida ko ang sarili ko sa isang event na hindi naman ako ang star hehe) The night before nag-check-in na kami sa Rembrandt para malapit na lang. Eh, kaso hindi ako makatulog kasi masakit ang tiyan ko. So nagpunta akong Mercury sa may Kamuning. Mga 2AM na’to. Nag-take ako ng dalawang Simeco pero wa epek so bigla kong naisipang umuwi na lang sa bahay ko para du’n matulog. Pagdating ko sa bahay siyempre hindi ko naman dala ‘yung susi ko. So nag-cab ulit ako pabalik ng hotel. 3AM na by then. 3:45 gising na sina Sheila kasi magpapa-make-up na sila kay Sherlyn at 6AM daw ang pictorial ng entourage sa Fernwood. Mga 6:30 bumangon na’ko only to realize na naiwan ko ‘yung pants ko. Siyempre hirit ni Thea “Nakapagdala ka pa ng gown para lang makapagpatawa pero ‘yung pantaloon mo hindi mo nadala.” Darn! Buti na lang pumayag ‘yung cab na balikan. I rushed home, got dressed in the cab tapos diretso na sa Fernwood. Medyo nawala pa’ko sa may Visayas Av kaya ibang ruta nadaanan ko where nadaanan ko pa’ng ex-boyfriend kong kumakain sa isang eatery. Weird.
Umabot naman ako sa start ng Misa, salamat. Pero simula pa lang inaasar na nila akong Kuya Germs. Palibhasa naka-usual gown and barong lang sila noh! Wala silang alam sa latest fashions. And in fairness, tinext kami ni Cindy kahapon ng:
“Powerbarkada, mike’s parents and relatives say na u guys r cool daw and sana u went to angono last fri and get this: they recognize rey fr tv, found him funny as a host. Winner c kuya germs :-)”
To which Sheila replied: (Mga group texts ‘to, ha. Ganito kami mag-usap)
“so sulit ang investment sa mismatched yet cohesive stripes ni ricric! Haaay, na-a-amaze talaga ako how far we’ve come, powerbkda. how vastly changed, but how essentially “the same” we are. Imagine, 2nd day na na may cindy evangelista in this world, e dati naglalakad lang yan sa acad oval fr one clas 2 anothr habang kumakanta ng alanis! my powerbkda. i love Ü.”
Siyempre humirit ako na hindi ako naka-Kuya Germs outfit. It’s actually very GQ at mas mahal pa ang suot ko sa lahat ng suot nila combined! And yes, including the bridal gown! (Hindi ko na alam verbatim kasi hindi ko naman sine-save ang mga messages ko, eh)
Siyempre hindi nagpatalbog si Cindy at sinabi pa’ng presyo ng gown niyang diniseyn pa ni Gener Gozum (na naka-gold cowboy hat nu’ng wedding).
Siyempre tinext ko na bawat kulay sa polo ko 25K na! ‘Yung jacket pasadya pa sa Morocco, ganyan-ganyan...
Sabi ni Carlo: “barong ko JC Buendia!”
Sagot ni Celery: “hellooo! Priceless ang suot ko noh! Made frm the tender loving hands of a mother.” Celery’s mom supplies RTW to SM.
Sabat si Thea: “ang hikaw ko nung weding ni cindy binili ko for 1 hundred pesos d nyt before sa my abs dahil nakalimutan ko mgdala ng jewelry. Ke mura or mahal, nasa nagdadala lng yan! Talbog c JC buendia naka gener gozum ako no! Haha! Ü” Thea was Veil Sponsor so sagot ni Cindy gown niya pero ‘di pa nakuntento kaya fumalow-up pa ng: “Rey-Ung shoes ko gold, ung hikaw ko gold, ung damit ko surf gold ang colors Ü, ung mata ko may gold highlights, GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!! Mayaman ako! Talbog ang 25k polo mo! Haha! Ü”
Humirit na naman si Sheila: “wala kayo lahat sa self-transforming gown ni val. sobrang mahal kasi it’s all the gown u will ever need in ur lifetym. yun na. rurok na.”
“Shocks tama c Sheila, i concede!” – Thea...Well, pati ako napa-concede. Si Val kasi ang commentator sa Mass at meron siyang gold na mahabang-mahabang scarf or something na every now and then naiiba-iba ang design. Mamaya nakapulupot sa leeg, mamaya nakasabit na sa mga kamay niya… Basta nag-fashion show siya noong Misa! Only Val. ‘Yun na.
Love – the lack of it, the complications it brings, the search for it, everything about it – has always been a staple in every Powerbarkada conversation. Now one of us has, finally, found it so we can’t help but feel overwhelmingly happy. It may not happen to me, at least I know for sure that love is not life’s mirage.
Sa Fernwood Garden ang ceremony at reception. I’ve attended a wedding here in the evening (Rina’s parents’ 50th) and the place is just magical. Feeling mo talaga nasa isang enchanted garden with the mists, the swans, the waterfalls, flowers and starry lighting. Akala ko hindi na magiging ganu’n ang impact nu’ng venue kapag umaga. Pero iba ang charm nu’ng place kapag napupuno ng sunshine. After all, a garden is best seen in daylight, ‘di ba nga?
I hosted the reception at happy naman siya kasi mabilis lang ‘yung program at nakakain naman ako nang husto (sarap nu’ng chocolate fountain!). Gusto ko ‘yung messages ng mga godparents at nu’ng parents. Sabi ng mommy ni Mike “try to achieve a simple living.” And to think theirs is a well-to-do family, ha. Talagang masinop pa rin dapat. Personally, pinaka-na-strike ako sa message ng mom ni Cindy na kung sakali raw magkaproblema sila, tapatan ng “three F’s – Forgive, Forget Forever.”
The most romantic part was when Cindy surprised Mike with the song he always asks her to sing daw tuwing nagvi-videoke sila, Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love.” Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, Cindy can really. Hindi ‘yung tipong kaibigan mong magaling kumanta, ha. Siya talagang as in puwede siyang maging recording artist kaya ang ganda-ganda nu’ng pagkakakanta talaga. Sabi nga namin we’ve seen her sing so many times before but that was her most heartfelt perfomance yet! “I feel no shame! I’m in love! Sweet love…” Hay! Gusto ko ng boyfriend! Na marunong kumanta! Tapos kakantahan ako nang ganu’n!
Sabi ni Mike ayaw daw niyang tignan si Cindy sa mata. Kapag tumutingin daw siya diretso lang kasi maiiyak daw siya kapag matitigan niya si Cindy. Kuwento ni Thea sa group text niya sa Powerbarkada two days after:
“kaya ako naiyak nung kasal ni cindy dahil naisip ko how we used to watch sunset beach n oprah at pano kami mgemote tungkol sa lovelyf. Tapos nung Friday I saw how mike would lovingly stare at her wen she was not looking kasi according to mike pg tumingin cya pg nakatingin c cindy bka maiyak cya kaya he was avoiding na magkatinginan cla. I knew from d stares that he really loves her & will take care f her. That makes me so hapi coz dats what cindy dreamt of n shes got it. Ang saya, winer c papa mike! Ü”
Sulit talaga ang misadventures ko for this wedding. (Here goes my Kris Aquino moment na ibibida ko ang sarili ko sa isang event na hindi naman ako ang star hehe) The night before nag-check-in na kami sa Rembrandt para malapit na lang. Eh, kaso hindi ako makatulog kasi masakit ang tiyan ko. So nagpunta akong Mercury sa may Kamuning. Mga 2AM na’to. Nag-take ako ng dalawang Simeco pero wa epek so bigla kong naisipang umuwi na lang sa bahay ko para du’n matulog. Pagdating ko sa bahay siyempre hindi ko naman dala ‘yung susi ko. So nag-cab ulit ako pabalik ng hotel. 3AM na by then. 3:45 gising na sina Sheila kasi magpapa-make-up na sila kay Sherlyn at 6AM daw ang pictorial ng entourage sa Fernwood. Mga 6:30 bumangon na’ko only to realize na naiwan ko ‘yung pants ko. Siyempre hirit ni Thea “Nakapagdala ka pa ng gown para lang makapagpatawa pero ‘yung pantaloon mo hindi mo nadala.” Darn! Buti na lang pumayag ‘yung cab na balikan. I rushed home, got dressed in the cab tapos diretso na sa Fernwood. Medyo nawala pa’ko sa may Visayas Av kaya ibang ruta nadaanan ko where nadaanan ko pa’ng ex-boyfriend kong kumakain sa isang eatery. Weird.
Umabot naman ako sa start ng Misa, salamat. Pero simula pa lang inaasar na nila akong Kuya Germs. Palibhasa naka-usual gown and barong lang sila noh! Wala silang alam sa latest fashions. And in fairness, tinext kami ni Cindy kahapon ng:
“Powerbarkada, mike’s parents and relatives say na u guys r cool daw and sana u went to angono last fri and get this: they recognize rey fr tv, found him funny as a host. Winner c kuya germs :-)”
To which Sheila replied: (Mga group texts ‘to, ha. Ganito kami mag-usap)
“so sulit ang investment sa mismatched yet cohesive stripes ni ricric! Haaay, na-a-amaze talaga ako how far we’ve come, powerbkda. how vastly changed, but how essentially “the same” we are. Imagine, 2nd day na na may cindy evangelista in this world, e dati naglalakad lang yan sa acad oval fr one clas 2 anothr habang kumakanta ng alanis! my powerbkda. i love Ü.”
Siyempre humirit ako na hindi ako naka-Kuya Germs outfit. It’s actually very GQ at mas mahal pa ang suot ko sa lahat ng suot nila combined! And yes, including the bridal gown! (Hindi ko na alam verbatim kasi hindi ko naman sine-save ang mga messages ko, eh)
Siyempre hindi nagpatalbog si Cindy at sinabi pa’ng presyo ng gown niyang diniseyn pa ni Gener Gozum (na naka-gold cowboy hat nu’ng wedding).
Siyempre tinext ko na bawat kulay sa polo ko 25K na! ‘Yung jacket pasadya pa sa Morocco, ganyan-ganyan...
Sabi ni Carlo: “barong ko JC Buendia!”
Sagot ni Celery: “hellooo! Priceless ang suot ko noh! Made frm the tender loving hands of a mother.” Celery’s mom supplies RTW to SM.
Sabat si Thea: “ang hikaw ko nung weding ni cindy binili ko for 1 hundred pesos d nyt before sa my abs dahil nakalimutan ko mgdala ng jewelry. Ke mura or mahal, nasa nagdadala lng yan! Talbog c JC buendia naka gener gozum ako no! Haha! Ü” Thea was Veil Sponsor so sagot ni Cindy gown niya pero ‘di pa nakuntento kaya fumalow-up pa ng: “Rey-Ung shoes ko gold, ung hikaw ko gold, ung damit ko surf gold ang colors Ü, ung mata ko may gold highlights, GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!! Mayaman ako! Talbog ang 25k polo mo! Haha! Ü”
Humirit na naman si Sheila: “wala kayo lahat sa self-transforming gown ni val. sobrang mahal kasi it’s all the gown u will ever need in ur lifetym. yun na. rurok na.”
“Shocks tama c Sheila, i concede!” – Thea...Well, pati ako napa-concede. Si Val kasi ang commentator sa Mass at meron siyang gold na mahabang-mahabang scarf or something na every now and then naiiba-iba ang design. Mamaya nakapulupot sa leeg, mamaya nakasabit na sa mga kamay niya… Basta nag-fashion show siya noong Misa! Only Val. ‘Yun na.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Text ni Paolo Cruz
Pre,bka my kilala kang nghahanap ng work.Meron akong alam 8k/day.Sa palengke nga lang.
Tagalista ng noisy.
Tagalista ng noisy.
Chinese Noon
Nanonood ako ng Kill Bill ngayon. At bigla na naman akong nag-doodle ng lagi kong dinu-doodle – bamboo na parang sa mga traditional Chinese paintings.
Talagang sa past life ko isang akong Chinese.
I imagine na ako ang favorite concubine ng emperor. Galit sa’kin ang Empress dahil ako ang may anak na lalaki at siya ay baog. Anak ko ang pupuwedeng magmana sa trono. Pero pinapatay ako at ang aking anak ng inggiterang empress. ‘Yan ang aking kuwento.
Hindi naman ako naniniwala sa reincarnation pero I first seriously toyed with the idea of being a Chinese in my past life nu’ng dinala ako ru’n ng isang Chinoy boylet sa Chinatown. Nasa pusod siya ng Maynila, ‘di ba? Magulo, maingay, masikip pero I felt at home. Hindi ako na-OP sa mga Chinese caligrphy sa neon signs. Basta ang feeling ko I was meant to be there.
Eto pa’ng mga signs na Chinese ako dati:
1. Before pa naging cute ang mga Koreano sa mata nating mga Pilipino, attracted na’ko sa mga chinito. Sa F4 nga favorite ko si Vaness kasi siya ang pinaka-mukhang Intsik. Gusto ko rin si Kenji Marquez, si Yujii (a Japanese backpacker na na-meet ko sa Sagada), si Bong Revilla, ‘yung Asian guy sa American Pie, si Wu Man ng Channel V, si Chuck Allie ng Starstruck…Basta singkit plus points sa’kin!
2. Mahilig ako sa Chinese food. Pati ‘yung mga food na ayaw ng ilan. Peking Duck for example. Ako lang yata ang kilala kong tao na nagke-crave for Peking Duck. Tuwang-tuwa rin ako nang malaman kong may malapit na 24-hour Kowloon West sa’kin so I can buy the big siopao of my childhood! Ambilis kong natutunan mag-chopsticks pero hanggang ngayon hindi ako kumportable kumain nang nakakamay.
3. Kaya kong magkunwaring nagsasalita ng Chinese. One time nga nagpunta kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa KTV tapos ang dinatnan naming tumutugtog sa TV some Chinese song. Nagkuwari akong kumakanta. May pumasok na Chinese (o Japanese) customer na sila pala ang nauna sa’min sa room at sabi niya, “Very good. Very good!”
4. Nu’ng bata ako, kapag mataas grade ko, request ko lagi sa daddy ko manood kami ng kung fu movie. Tuwang-tuwa rin ako sa mga print ad ng mga movies nina Samo Hung, Cynthia Luster…Binabasa ko talaga ‘yung mga decription ng kanilang specialty, signature moves sa martial arts, ganyan! Straight boy pa’ko pero Chinese na Chinese na!
5. When I started becoming active four years ago, ang unang sport na talagang kinahiligan ko talaga na hanggang ngayon ginagawa ko pa rin ay dragon boat!
6. I have big round eyes at hindi na rin ako maputi ngayon. ‘Di ba nga raw usually ibang-iba ka na sa susunod mo na life?
Talagang sa past life ko isang akong Chinese.
I imagine na ako ang favorite concubine ng emperor. Galit sa’kin ang Empress dahil ako ang may anak na lalaki at siya ay baog. Anak ko ang pupuwedeng magmana sa trono. Pero pinapatay ako at ang aking anak ng inggiterang empress. ‘Yan ang aking kuwento.
Hindi naman ako naniniwala sa reincarnation pero I first seriously toyed with the idea of being a Chinese in my past life nu’ng dinala ako ru’n ng isang Chinoy boylet sa Chinatown. Nasa pusod siya ng Maynila, ‘di ba? Magulo, maingay, masikip pero I felt at home. Hindi ako na-OP sa mga Chinese caligrphy sa neon signs. Basta ang feeling ko I was meant to be there.
Eto pa’ng mga signs na Chinese ako dati:
1. Before pa naging cute ang mga Koreano sa mata nating mga Pilipino, attracted na’ko sa mga chinito. Sa F4 nga favorite ko si Vaness kasi siya ang pinaka-mukhang Intsik. Gusto ko rin si Kenji Marquez, si Yujii (a Japanese backpacker na na-meet ko sa Sagada), si Bong Revilla, ‘yung Asian guy sa American Pie, si Wu Man ng Channel V, si Chuck Allie ng Starstruck…Basta singkit plus points sa’kin!
2. Mahilig ako sa Chinese food. Pati ‘yung mga food na ayaw ng ilan. Peking Duck for example. Ako lang yata ang kilala kong tao na nagke-crave for Peking Duck. Tuwang-tuwa rin ako nang malaman kong may malapit na 24-hour Kowloon West sa’kin so I can buy the big siopao of my childhood! Ambilis kong natutunan mag-chopsticks pero hanggang ngayon hindi ako kumportable kumain nang nakakamay.
3. Kaya kong magkunwaring nagsasalita ng Chinese. One time nga nagpunta kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa KTV tapos ang dinatnan naming tumutugtog sa TV some Chinese song. Nagkuwari akong kumakanta. May pumasok na Chinese (o Japanese) customer na sila pala ang nauna sa’min sa room at sabi niya, “Very good. Very good!”
4. Nu’ng bata ako, kapag mataas grade ko, request ko lagi sa daddy ko manood kami ng kung fu movie. Tuwang-tuwa rin ako sa mga print ad ng mga movies nina Samo Hung, Cynthia Luster…Binabasa ko talaga ‘yung mga decription ng kanilang specialty, signature moves sa martial arts, ganyan! Straight boy pa’ko pero Chinese na Chinese na!
5. When I started becoming active four years ago, ang unang sport na talagang kinahiligan ko talaga na hanggang ngayon ginagawa ko pa rin ay dragon boat!
6. I have big round eyes at hindi na rin ako maputi ngayon. ‘Di ba nga raw usually ibang-iba ka na sa susunod mo na life?
