Monday, October 16, 2006
Wo-hoh! Buhayin!
That summer nag-Miss Universe dito sa Manila kaya du’n ko kinuha ang inspiration (siyempre pa!). Na-tape ni Manuzon ang Miss Universe so ‘yun na ang music. Malabo naman ang lyrics so we just sang over it. Iniba-iba ang words para mapasok ang environmental theme at voila! Ang “Mabuhay” naging “Buhayin!”
Pero kinailangan kong ibenta talaga sa St. Luke’s ‘yung idea. Pati ‘yung mga bading ayaw gawin kasi nga masyado na raw bakla (to think ako pa’yung closeta nito, ha!). Needless to say, ayaw rin siyang gawin ng mga barako kong classmates. Anyway, basta napapayag ko rin sila.
Ang costume ng class: ang usung-usong Giordano Classics noon. Iba’t ibang kulay para maganda tignan sa stage. Si De Jesus ang magiging Philippine Eagle, an gaming mascot. Busy na’ko sa rehearsals so siya na’ng bahala sa costume niya.
Our jingle goes something like:
Ang Kalikasan ngayo’y pakinggan mo
Sila sana’y tulungan mo
Magandang bukas ay kung ninanais mo
Halika’t pakingga’ng awit ko
Wo-hoh! Buhayin! Buhayin!
Ang mga hayop ‘wag mong katayin!
Buhayin! Buhayin!
Inspired din ng Opening Number ng Miss Universe ang choreography. Tapos, as in the actual pageant, may point na magbe-break ‘yung song tapos ii-introduce ang bawat region. Sa jingle namin, ako ‘yung host na nagsasabi ng “Kilalanin natin ang mga endangered species mula sa lupa! (tapos "mula sa tubig"...tapos "mula sa hangin")”
May short bridge pa (still based on the Miss U theme) na parang:
Ang buhay sa lupa
Ating alagaan!
Then one classmate will go to the mic and mention an endangered species. Siyempre para parang Miss U, ginawa naming greeting kunwari ‘yung scientific name tapos saka sasabihin 'yung common name nu’ng species. Eh, nauna itong si Azon (short for Manuzon). Na-inspire ang bakla! Kaya nag-greet ng:
“Mabuhay! Bubalus Bubalus Mindorens! Save the tamaraw!”
Naghiyawan na ang buong stadium! At ang mga kaklase kong ayaw pa raw gawin ito aba nagpatalbugan! Sabi ni Vichael:“Macaca Philippinensis Philippinensis! Ang pinagmulan ng tao sa teorya ng ebolusyon – TSONGGOOOOOO!!!”
At ending si De Jesus na naka-all-black na tights at may beads-beads pa sa ulo! Para siyang Las Vegas showgirl pero sabi ko nga siya'ng bahala sa costume niya!“Pithecophaga Jefferyi! Ang Agila ng Pilipinas!” Sabay outstretch ng arms to reveal her wings! Taray! Siyempre nagpalakpakan ang mga manonood! Hindi nga lang namin sure kung na-gets nilang monkey-eating eagle siya at hindi paniki.
Nanalo kami.
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Friday, October 13, 2006
The Pyschopaths Among Us
Psychopath J: Bading siya na naging staff ng isang stage play that I appeared in college. Kamukha niya si Tina Turner – big grayish hair, wide toothy mouth, big nose. Chika naman siya so OK lang. Sabi niya UP student din siya, Business Ad daw (ang pinakasosyal na college) at through the course of rehearsals may mga kuwento siya na sinakyan naman namin. Naandiyan nu’ng may dumaang BMW Roadster sabi niya ganu’n daw ang kotse niya kaso na-carnap daw. Papalabas daw siya ng College nang napansin niyang wala na ‘to sa parking lot. “Where’s my car?! Where’s my car?!” Nagsisisigaw daw siya. Meron pa siyang kuwento na tumira ‘yung family niya for a while sa Middle East (which explains his wealth?) at pinag-debut pa raw siya ru’n ng mga magulang niya. As in naka-gown, may 18 roses, 18 candles, ganu’n. May time pa nilibre niya kaming cast and staff sa Music Box. So mayaman nga siya kahit mukha siyang jologs. New riche ba. Then bigla na lang siyang hindi nagpakita sa rehearsals…after magkaroon ng mga nakawan. Buti hindi ako nabiktima. ‘Yung mga dating may kilala sa kanya nagsabi na may history na raw siya ng ganyan. “He’s sick in the head,” sabi ng aming producer. ‘Yan ang isang sign ng psychopathy, they create and project a world far different from their bitter reality and they sometimes resort to crime to live up to that fantasy. Nakakaawa.
http://community.webshots.com/inlinePhoto?photoId=1214744032059994014&src=c&referPage=http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/1214744032059994014KaGwHk
Psychopath E: Bading din ‘to pero, please, walang kinalaman ang kabaklaan sa pagiging psychopath, ha! Member siya ng aking college org kaya nakakahiya talaga because we pride ourselves in being selective. I guess paminsan-minsan may mga nakakalusot na may sayad. He, too, told tales about his wealth. Nang nakasakay daw sila sa car nu’ng isang member tinuro niya ang isang bagong gawang condo building sa Katipunan sabay sabing, “By the way, guys, I live there.” Pero ‘yung lagi niyang nakakasabay mag-commute pa-Katipunan never pa siyang nakitang bumaba ru’n kesyo laging may excuse na kelangan niyang umuwi sa bahay nila kasi may naiwan siya ganyan. May isang summer pa na nagbakasyon daw siya sa Amerika at nakaka-YM pa niya ‘yung ibang members na asa Hawaii! Tapos nu’ng nakauwi na siya may pasalubong daw siya sa lahat pero laging may excuse kung bakit hindi niya nadadala (“Kadarating lang ng maleta pero ‘yung susi nasa mom ko pa.”) Unfortunately, medyo nabulagan ang mga tao sa kanya at naging treasurer pa siya. During his term, at least P30,000 of org funds were lost. Umabot sa konprontasyon at sa imbestigasyon at binayaran na lang ng mga magulan niya ‘yung pera. He now, ironically, works in a bank. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! At nakikita ko pa rin siya sa ilang org activities and he acts as if nothing happened. Isa pang sign ng psychopathy, they don’t really feel guilt. Sabi nga sa Reader’s Digest parang wala siyang conscience, askew ang kanilang morality compass.
Psychopath B: Ex-boyfriend siya ng isang kaibigan. Medyo trouble na siya sa simula kasi sinulot lang niya ‘yung kaibigan ko sa boyfriend niya nu’n na kaibigan ko rin. Previously married at may mga anak na. Pero matalino namang kausap, mabait din. Pero nu’ng nag-break na sila du’n na nakuwento ang kanyang mga lies - na he wasn’t as successful career-wise as he made us believe. And he tried to cheat on my friend with her officemate by spinning more unbelievable tales! Psychopaths can’t control themselves. Tayo na ordinary liars lang, may strategy para hindi tayo mabuko pero sila they still lie despite the consequences. Kapag nagkabukuhan saka na lang sila aaksyon. Minsan pa nga to violent results. Friends pa rin sila ng kaibigan. Hmmm…Hindi kaya psychopath din ‘yung kaibigan ko?
Psychopath M: This guy lives close to me. Atenista raw siya at doktor but I always see him na nakatambay sa lobby ng building. Parang hindi siya busy for a doctor, ha. Shortly after we were introduced he offered to install wifi in my unit. He looks trustworthy although my konting ere so pumayag ako. True enough nag-crash ‘yung wifi a month after. At kelan lang niya naisoli ang post-dated cheques na dinemand niya as payment. And worse, may na-encash siyang dalawang cheques. Sabi niya hindi raw kasi niya na-pull-out nang maaga sa bangko. Nang makausap ko ang isa pang neighbor na dati niyang kasyosyo, hayun na! Hindi pala siya Atenista nor a medical doctor. Marami na siyang utang at hinahanting pa siya ng ilan sa mga tinakbuhan niya. He even showed me his weird Friendster sites which details his psychopathic ways. Hindi naman malaki-laking halaga ang utang niya sa’kin so deadma na lang ako. Mahirap yatang umasa sa psychopath, no.
Psychopath R: This one kinda pains me because she’s a very, very good friend. Galing sa illustrious at maykayang pamilya. Mabait, sweet, edukada. Pero ngayon she’s in a fix dahil baun na baon siya sa mga utang sa mga taong tulad ko na nagtitiwala sa kanya. Marami siyang excuses na binibigay like nasiraan ng car, may sakit daw ang mom, may sabit sa trabaho, etc. Siyempre, dahil we know her as this very innocent person nagta-trust lang kami. ‘Yun pala ang dami-dami na pala niyang pinagkakautangan, at may ilan na siyang mga kaibigang nae-alienate dahil dito. Wala naman sa’min ang may kayang i-confront siya para matulungan siya about this. I know one of us should - and soon - pero ang hirap lang talaga, eh.
Psychopath D: Isa pa ‘tong galing sa mayamang pamilya. Edukado, guwapo. Film graduate ng UP. Nakikita ko na siya nu’ng college pero nakilala ko na lang talaga siya nang nakuha akong magsulat ng isang TV show na concept niya. It seemed promising. Nakapag-tape pa ng Pilot episode. Then the project started to unravel. He proved very erratic and, well, weird. Sabi niya Commerical Director siya pero ni hindi siya marunong gumawa ng simpleng storyboard. Marami siyang mga contact na mga magagaling na tao, maayos ang network pero if things don’t go well na dahil na rin sa kanya, ang weird niya. Basta weird. Wala pa yata sa kanilang kinuha niya for the project ang nakakapansin pero ako matagal ko nang na-realize na baka nga psychopath siya. Feeling ko sobra siyang nape-pressure sa success ng mga magulang niya and while he has yet to amount to something, dinaan na lang niya sa pambobola ng mga tao pero hindi niya mapaninindigan kasi wala naman talaga siyang desire na magtrabaho, gusto lang niya ‘yung glamour and all.
Wala akong bitterness towards any of these people. Nakakaawa nga sila, eh. Ipinagpapasalamat ko na lang na sa kabila ng pagkakakilala ko sa kanila, nananatili pa rin akong trusting sa mga tao.
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Pangalawang Ospital
Upon the invitation of the Medical Acupuncturist, I decided to resort to a less than traditional means of alleviating my back pain. I didn’t even know acupuncture was offered in hospitals! Kung magpapaka-Oriental Medicine ka na rin lang, why not do it in a reputable institution, under the supervision of a competently trained medical professional, ‘di ba?
Dr. Francico V. Navarro’s clinic at St. Luke’s was unlike any I’ve been to. It has the interiors, lighting, music and scents of a small but luxurious spa! Dr. Navarro is a Chinoy graduate of UP’s INTARMED Program. He took advanced studies in Chinese Medicine in San Francisco and China. Legit itoh! (Again, my fascination is borne out of the misconception that traditional oriental medicine is not yet fully accepted by the medical community in the Philippines, and is thus practiced only in some shaman’s old house somewhere in Malate.)
Pinadapa ako in my underwear sa bed (complete with Chinese silk pillows). Akala ko may mararamdaman akong sakit ‘pag tusok ng pin pero hindi pala. The disposable acupuncture needles are so fine, “ten of them can fit in the bore of a common syringe needle!” Unang tinusok ‘yung parte ng lower back ko na masakit. Tapos tinusok din ‘yung opposite side. Then needles where stuck sa bawat alakalakan (I wanted to use that word because it’s one Filipino term that has no equivalent in English, “back of the knee”). ‘Yun ‘yung acupuncture.
Ginamit sa’kin ang halos lahat ng Chinese treatments. Nagpa-impress yata. Sunod naman ay hineat ‘yung mga neeles. Hindi ko sure kung ano ginamit to do this (parang rolled piece of paper yata). This is called moxabustion. You just have to get over the “I’m burning!” sensation to realize that it actually feels quite good. Tapos nu’ng inalis na’yung mga needles, dinikit na’yung mga glass vacuum cups. Ventosa naman ang tawag dito.
The therapy lasted an hour. And I swear as soon as I got up, nawala na ‘yung back pain na hindi matanggal-tanggal ng double doses ng Alaxan FR! Parang miracle cure! The only side effect na maiisip ko eh ‘yung marks na iniiwan nu’ng cups but even that could be sexy. Si Gwyneth Paltrow nga once proudly displayed hers!
Now I’m a believer. Call 723-0101 loc 5111 for an appointment with Dr. Francisco V. Navarro.
***
I brought you flowers.
Yeah, I read your blogs, you know?
(Yeah, I know. So alam mo na ibig-sabihin kung nagbibigay ako ng Flowers.)
Thank you for the flowers…Ano ibig-sabihin ng four red roses dito?
(Fishing ka, ha! Well, four words: “Mahal na mahal kita.” Puwede ring “Kelan ba tayo magho-holding-hands?”)
***
I’m always one to complain about the game. Comment nga ni Toffer sa nakakalitong lovelife ni Haydee, “Masyado kayong maraming sub-text. Bakit hindi na lang kayo maging straightforward?” Tama!
But as Toffer employs film criticism vocabulary, naalala ko rin ang isang lesson about films, “Ambiguity is a virtue.” There’s beauty nga naman in subtlety.
I am anything but subtle about my feelings for him. Pati ang supposedly symbolic na bulaklak came with a written annotation courtesy of my blog. But I do not expect any anwers. At least not now.
Siguro dahil hindi ko rin alam kung ano’ng sasabihin niya. Sapat na sa’king kinakausap niya ako. Minsan tumatawag pa. Tinatanggap naman niya kung anuman ‘yung nao-offer ko. Hindi ko pa naman kasi yata kayang diretsuhin siya dahil baka mamaya hindi naman favorable ang response.
At surprisingly, hindi ako nagrereklamo. Hindi ako nag-aalala. Bahala na. Basta steady lang. Just take in the punctures, the heat, the vacuum cuppings at hayaang mag-flow ang qi. Maaayos din ‘yan.
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Oh, The Things That Happen Behind the Camera (Some Suggested Readings)
Nakakatuwa kasi nagba-blog na rin ang Headwriter/Director at co-writers ko sa Starstruck. These are people whose craft I really admire. Kung gusto n'yong maloka sa aming munting mundo, silipin n'yo ang blog nila. Si Direk Rommel may mga napipisil na sa mga nag-audition. Si Rikki naman may mga nalilibak lang. Si Gladys naman kami mismong mga kasamahan niya ang nilibak.
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Ikatlong Ospital
Twenty-nine years old lang si Melanie. Petite at soft-spoken pero palangiti. Isa siya sa iilang babaeng kilala ko na nagtatakip talaga ng bibig tuwing humahalakhak. Panganay sa magkakapatid kaya naging crucial ang role niya sa pamilya nang magkaroon at eventually mag-succumb to cancer ang kanyang kapatid na lalake.
Last Wednesday, pagbaba niya sa jeep nadulas siya and she suffered a very bad fall. Malabo pa ang tunay na detalye pero tingin ko it’s the usual case ng jeep na umaandar agad ‘yung gagong drayber kahit hindi pa lubusang nakakababa ‘yung pasahero. Hayun nadale si Melanie. Naging conscious pa siya nang itakbo sa isang maliit na ospital sa Malabon pero nang finally ma-comatose, it took some four hours bago siya nalipat sa MCU. Kagabi bumisita kaming staff ng SFiles. Maraming nakakabit sa kanyang dextrose, wires, respirator, kung anu-ano. This morning I received a text na ayon sa doktor brain dead na raw, pinagdi-decide na ang pamilya.
I’ve only known her for a short time kaya hindi ko lubos na marurok ‘yung expression of extreme sadness na nakikita ko sa mukha nina Cynthia, at sa iba pang ka-close niya sa SFiles. If I were her age (until, say, I’m 65) lalaban ako! And I feel that Melanie’s fighting. Milagro na nga lang daw ang magse-save sa kanya pero lumalaban pa’yan. Please include Melanie in your prayers. Just pause for a second (a second lang, sige) and pray now. Her family and friends will greatly appreciate all the help.
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
Unang Ospital
“Sooobrang normal.” ‘Yan ang description ng baklang intern na kumuha ng aking BP. He proceeded to throw the mandatory questions before they extract blood. “Have you taken any medicine in the past 24 hours?”
“Nag-Alaxan ako kaninang umaga.”
“Ay, sandali lang, ha.” “Doc, puwede po ba’yung Alaxan?” “Hindi, balik ka na lang after two to three days.”
So hindi natuloy ang pagdo-donate ko ng dugo sa father ng aking Executive Producer. Dahil kasi sa lecheng backache na ‘to na buhat ng pagbubuhat ng ice chest nang nagpa-pack na kami mula sa White Rock. Ni hindi na nga masakit ‘yung legs ko from the race. Itong matinding discomfort na nararamdaman ko ni walang kinalaman sa karera. Nakakbuwiset!
May isang nag-donate na nahanapan ng drugs. Pinauwi na lang. Nate-tense nga’ko kasi medyo humithit ako unsuccessfully ng jutes a couple of days ago. Unsuccessful kasi hindi maganda ‘yung pipang regalo sa’kin kaya tinigil ko rin after one unsatisfying puff.
Alam n’yo bang technically I should never donate blood? Ayon sa pamantayan ng mediko na nakapaskil sa mga blood banks, people who’ve engaged in homosexual acts should NEVER give blood. Hindi temporarily not give blood, ha, like those who just came from sickness or will pilot a plane in the next 48 hours. NEVER give blood. Siyempre hindi ko na lang dine-declare. The couple of times na nagbigay ako before cleared naman ako from AIDS or any STD kaya nakinabang ang dalawang little girl patients na nangailangan.
Alam n’yo rin ba na if you’ve donated blood five times you will get blood for free if ever you’ll need it? Pero dapat donate lang, ha. Hinid ‘yung may intended patient like in most instances na napapapunta tayo ng blood bank. Technically libre ang dugo pero it’s the extracting and testing that costs about one thousand pesos pero donor. So i-consider n’yo nang mag-donate soon, you’ll never know. Basta siguraduhin mo lang na hindi ka uminom, nag-jutes, o nag-drugs in the past 48 hours or so bago mo ‘to gawin.
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The Joy of Doing H.I.M.
THE WHITE ROCK TRIATHLON 2006
07 October 2006/White Rock Beach Resort, Zambales, The Phiippines
2km Swim/90km Bike/21km Run
1. Nang finally nakita ko na ang sign sa highway pointing to the corner that leads to the White Rock Hotel I wanted to bellow out my joy but instead I felt tears were about to spew out of my eyes. So pinigilan ko. Slightly sprinting into the hotel grounds, down the carpet towards the finish arc I managed a big smile but as soon as I crossed the line hindi ko na napigilan. Umiiyak ako na hindi. Ang labo! Basta alam ko nagsa-swarm around me ‘yung mga organizers and fellow racers. I remember Monica Torres (1st, Female 18-25) and Junie Santos (Cyclist, Levy’s Angels Relay Team) kissing me, Eric Imperio putting on my Finisher’s Medal, then they led me to the mandatory weigh in (I lost a kilo) tapos dinala na’ko sa showers where I was still trying to catch my breath. Iba nga raw ang drama sa White Rock Triathlon (WRT) pero nu’ng napanood ko ‘yung footage, mukha akong tanga. Comedy pa rin, eh.
2. Race started kicked off around 6:45AM. I knew I will be swimming the entire two kilometers in an hour so I wasn’t surprised that even before I made my first turnaround out at sea, the green swim-capped swimmers of the relay teams were already in the water. Although I’ve practiced it just once some weeks before the race, “sighting” came quite naturally to me (lalo pa’t nu’ng mga times na hindi ko ‘to nagagawa eh nato-thrown off-course talaga ako.) For some reason hindi ko ma-execute nang maayos ‘yung stroke so dinala ko na lang sa sobrang relaxed na pace. Tutal isang oras naman talaga ang target time ko sa swim, hindi na’ko nag-push. It’s a pace that left me among the last to leave the water but it’s well within cut-off time and it also made me very fresh for the remainder of the race. To put things into perspective, Women’s Over-all Champ and first out of water Jenny Guerrero finished it about 28 minutes. Pucha! Akala ko pa naman ako’ng sirena rito!
3. Sa T1 nag-Powergel ulit ako tapos tuluyan nang sinuot ang aking red outfit. Kalalabas ko pa lang for the 90km bike naninigas na ang tiyan ko. Shet! Hindi ko na-practice kumain ng gel-gel na’yan at ngayon, nashe-shet ako! Pero sige lang. Sabi flat course lang ang bike so I stuck to my plan of maintaining a 95rpm. Pero that proved quite ambitious pala so I settled at 85rpm. This got me running an average of 27kph. The national highway was mostly scenic and clear of vehicles. Kapag dumadaan ng towns hindi naman nagkukulang sa mga traffic enforcers na pinapagalitan pa ang mga haharang-harang na sasakyan! Aba! Ito’ng isa pang hindi ko na-train kasi madalas ako ang tinuturing na haharang-harang sa daan. Medyo nag-ease na rin ‘yung tiyan ko kasi naiutot ko na. Para tuloy meron akong “nos” ba’yun (‘yung sa drag racing) na everytime I’d fart napu-push forward ako. (O nasobrahan lang ako ng Tito, Vic & Joey movies nu’ng bata ako?)
4. Pagsakay na pagsakay ko pa lang sa bike I found myself praying out loud, as in out loud. Hindi ako relihiyosong tao pero napa-thank you talaga ako sa good weather, sa freshness na naramdaman ko during the swim, at pinagdasal ko rin na sana hindi ako ma-flat. Hindi ko nga lang napagdasal si Popo Remigio (2nd, Female 31-35) kasi naabutan ko pa siya sa may tulay na nag-aayos ng flat. I didn’t know if I should stop pero naisip ko, “Si Popo naman ‘yan, eh.” Besides purely theoretical lang ang knowledge ko sa pagpapalit ng flat so wala rin akong maitutulong. (At pabalik sa T2 eh maabutan din niya ako.)
5. Turnaround/45km ang Barangay Hall ng Cabangan. Du’n huminto ako para mag-sip ng aking Gatorade Litro at kumagat ng embotido. Oo, embotido kasi naisip ko may eggs siya at raisin at protein. May mga volunteers pang nag-offer maghanap ng catsup pero naisip ko baka maging messy lang. Eeew! Again, sa bike, freshness ang habol ko. Pinasyalan na namin ni Coach Kiko Santos (3rd, Men 46-50) ang hilly raw na run route at alam kong kakailanganin ko lahat ng aking Darna powers para ma-survive ‘yun so steady lang ako sa bike. Besides, meron naman akong nao-overteykan kahit papaano so medyo nage-gain ko na’yung pangungulelat ko sa swim. At ‘yung mga nasalubong ko nang pabalik eh mga monsters na naman so ibang level na talaga sila. Got into T2 after cycling for about 3.25 hours. Racer 60 ako at kasabay ko sa changing room si Racer 61. “Heto na!!!” We both said. O, sino sa inyo ang nakasabay n’yo na‘yung racer na kasunod n’yo ang number sa changing room, aber?!
6. Hindi talaga mahirap as much as it is mahabaaaaa. ‘Yan ang swim at bike para sa akin. Pero ‘yung unang 2.5km pa lang ng run ANG HIRAP! For a moment kinonsider ko talagang pumara ng jeep at sumakay hanggang sa isang point na walang makakakita sa aking bumaba. Sa Papagayo ang unang aid station at papabol din ang nagma-man nu’n! (I think si Frank Lacson ‘to) Aaaay! Kung wala lang akong karerang kelangang tapusin eh tumambay na’ko ru’n pero naisip ko I am not really dressed to flirt at that moment. Kinarir ko pang takbuhin ang unang uphill papuntang 5km aid station pero a few meters before the station naisip ko na ang aking strategy: UP Mountaineer ako uphill, Lydia de Vega downhill. And except at the aid stations, I never stopped inside Subic Bay Freeport to take full advantage of the longest flat area in the course.
7. ‘Yung mga nakakasalubong kong leaders going into the Freeport eh hindi na namamansin. Unlike nu’ng sa bike na nagsa-smile back or at least tumitingin pa sila sa’yo kapag nagkakasalubong kayo. So napa-fighting stance na rin ako. Pero muntik na’kong naiyak pagpasok sa Freeport kung ‘di ko lang naisip na “Gago wala ka pa nga sa kalahati, noh!” Kinarir ko na ‘to. I took advantage of every aid station. Then I’d check my form before completely breaking into a run to the next station. Ito ang sinasabi ni Over-all Champion Hiroshi Takei na “I always get them in the run.” ‘Yung mga nauna nang ‘di hamak sa swim at bike eh isa-isa ko nang nalalampasan. Palabas ng Freeport, for the first time in my life ay ang saya-saya kong nakakita ng sementeryo. Pabalik na’ko!
8. ‘Yung mga uphills inisip ko na lang na isang bundok na napakadaling akyatin (maayos ang trail, walang nakahambalang na vegetation) at sa downhill inisip kong meron akong mahabang chiffon cape na kelangan liparin ng hangin para maganda ang effect so dapat mabilis-bilis ang takbo. Pero from Papagayo nagsimula na ang isa pa sa pinakamahirap na bahagi ng buong karera. Ni hindi ko na napansin si Papa Papagayo! Bago tumakbo ulit nag-concentrate talaga ako at lumarga na sa pinakamahabaaaang 2.5km ng buhay ko! People always say we’re crazy for choosing to go through this pero at that point I had to muster all my sanity to finish that race. I bet malakas ang immunity ng triathletes sa Alzheimer’s and other mental disorders because you’ve gotta be a little more sane do run those final kilometers just to cross the finish line.
9. I must admit, isang motivation ko sa may apat na buwan na training eh ang masulat ‘to. July pa lang inisip ko na ang opening ko ay: “Bilang mental preparation ko sa karera gabi-gabi akong nagsusuot ng costume ni Magdalena at kumakanta ako ng ‘I Don’t Know How to Love HIM.’” Naisip ko pang ending eh: “Now if some homophobe dare call me half-a-man, I’d grab him by the collar and growl at his face ‘That’s half-Ironman to you!’” Ngayon naisip ko na lang ang lagi kong sagot ‘pag tinatanong ako kung bakit ako nagta-triathlon: nakaka-thrill kasi just over a year ago I thought I couldn’t do this.
10. Sa White Rock Triathlon, ang sarap pumusta laban sa sarili mo…du’n sa sarili mong nagsasabing “Are you crazy?! Hindi mo kaya ‘yan, noh?!”
(You may visit Tonyo's site for outstanding photos of WRT.)
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Si Leonard, si John, at si Maurice
Nabasa ko sa isang article na there are more to coincidences than just mere, well, coincidences. Hindi ko na talaga maalala 'yung explanation basta ang thesis nu'ng writer ay merong cosmic forces that result in these coincidences, making them more than random events eerily related to one another. At marami nang mga documented cases that seem to prove this. This one comes to mind: a man shot his husband's lover but missed and the bullet got embedded in a tree instead. Years later the lover was chopping down when a loud bang was heard. He chopped down the tree with the embedded bullet which has finally hit its intended target after so many years.Not as dramatic pero marami na rin akong mga na-experience na coincidences pero nakakalimutan ko kaagad bago ko pa masulat. Ngayon meron akong na-note na coincidences sa aking buhay.Nu'ng Monday (September 2, 2006) nagbibihis ako for a meeting at nakabukas ang TV sa Discovery Channel. Palabas ang "The Lost Da Vinci Code." Diniscuss du'n ang symbology ng Madonna of the Rocks. Hindi raw kasi ma-distinguish 'yung Infant Jesus sa baby John the Baptist. Maari raw kasing naniniwala si Leonardo da Vinci na dapat ay pantay na pagpapahalaga ang ibibinigay natin sa banal na magpinsan. Hmmm...
Sa meeting prinesent ang unang pumasa sa isang regional screening ng Starstruck, kabilang ang isang scruffy-looking soccer player. Naalala ko ‘yung Discovery documentary dahil binaggit du’n na John the Baptist is often portrayed as scruffy, a sort of a wild man. Hmmm…
After the meeting I went to Baang Café to check my mail. Now kapag naka-connect ako sa internet, naa-active ang ilan sa ‘king Widgets. Sa Mac, a widget is a small program that performs a particular function. Lumalabas siya sa display screen mo. They serve ornamental and pretty practical purposes. Merong Widgets na nagko-convert from English to Metric system, merong translator ng languages, meron pa’kong nagpapakita ng satellite footage ng mundo at meron pang nagta-track ng earthquakes as they happen. One widget I also have will display a painting that is part of the collection of a certain Rijk Museum. And that night, ang painting na naka-display is “Salome With the Head of John the Baptist.” Hmmm….
It seems my coincidence story is complete. Pero kahapon, nang nasa Cebu kami, may nakita akong lumang Lifestyle section ng Inquirer. It included Maurice Arcache’s trip to Amsterdam where, the article informed me, the Rijk Museum can be found. Hmmm…
Ngayon, ano kaya’ng kinalaman nito sa aking buhay? Magkaka-boyfriend ba’kong painter na pangalan ay John at pakakasalan niya ako sa Netherlands?
Blogged with Flock
Paano Pumasa Sa Starstruck
Unfortunately less than 1% lang sa mga nago-audition ang nakakapasok. At sa tatlong Season ng Starstruck, nakita natin na hindi pa rin ‘yun guarantee na magiging sikat at mayamang artista ka. Which brings me to…
TIP #1: MAGING MASUWERTE. I know it’s not much of a tip pero suwertihan talaga ‘yun. Sabi nga ni Gloria Diaz on how she won the Miss Universe crown, “I was lucky. I don’t think I was the most beautiful there but I was definitely the luckiest.”
Tip #2: BE GOOD-LOOKING. OK, may suwerteng involved na naman dito pero kelangan talaga maganda, guwapo, makinis at hindi ka matabang-mataba para mag-Starstruck. Sa isang blog on Philippine TV shows, merong isang nag-comment na nakakalungkot daw na sa Pilipinas raw sinasabing “Maganda siya, puwedeng mag-artista.” Bakit daw hindi, “Talented siya, puwedengt mag-artista.” Hahaba ‘to kung idi-discuss ko pa’yang comment na’yan. Pero heto na lang, hindi lang sa Pilipinas nilalagyan ng premium ang appearance ng isang artista. Sa Hollywood, sa Bollywood, sa Europe, sa China, kahit saan importante visually appealing ka para maging star. If you honestly, HONESTLY do not care what the actor or actress you’re watching or the singer you’re listening to looks like as long as s/he’s talented, don’t point out why the rest do not have your enlightened view as a national flaw.
Ngayon paano mo malalaman na good-looking ka enough? Ewan, that should be a simple problem pero kung tumingin ka sa mga nakapila sa audition, iisipin mo na ipinagbawal ang salamin sa mundong ito. Ang isang magandang batayan ay kung hindi ka binibiro ng mga tao na panget, ibig-sabihin panget ka nga. Ako mapag-asar na tao pero ‘yung mga panget talaga I wouldn’t dare call them that kasi ‘yung may hitsura keri lang niya ‘yun pero ‘yung panget baka ma-offend. But this works only for the really ugly. So ito pa, if you take a poll and the answers you get are “May hitsura ka naman,” “Hindi ka naman panget,” it means your looks probably won’t hold. If by your teen years wala pang naga-approach sa’yo na legitimate caster at tinanong ka kung puwede kang mag-go-see for a commercial, ibig-sabihin, malamang hindi rin kita papansinin sa audition. Hay! Sana maraming makabasa nito para mabawas-bawasan naman ‘yung mga nakapila!
Tip #3: BE TALENTED. It’s not as much as having a great voice or fantastic dance moves as it is about zeal and showmanship. Personally kapag may isang nago-audition na may dalang gitara or something, kahit ano pa’ng hitsura I will take time out to hear him play kasi sawang-sawa na’ko sa kanta lang. Dancing – you would think it’s a pretty simple task kasi hindi mo naman kelangang tumambling-tambling or may alam kang steps talaga to do it, susunod ka lang. Pero marami pa ring natataranta kapag ‘yung pinatugtog na music eh hindi ‘yung prinaktis nilang steps. Ganito lang ‘yan. Sa Starstruck audition, don’t come with a planned dance routine in mind. Hintayin mo lang kung ano ‘yung tugtog tapos sabayan mo lang ‘yung beat. Smile at enjoyin mo lang, let loose. Kung kaya mong tumamblling, go. Dancing is not really a skill, or at least du’n sa hinahanap namin sa Starstruck. Importante lang may sense of beat ka.
TIP #4: ‘WAG KA NANG MAHIYA. Nagugulat ako sa mga tao na ang tagal-tagal ng pinila only to blow away their chance of being noticed by acting meek, refusing to make eye contact, and speaking in barely audible voice. Siguro nga may kaba factor pero pucha pumila ka na rin lang at na-hassle mo na rin lang ang sarili mo, ‘wag ka nang maghiya-hiyaan! Ang kapal na rin lang ng mukha mo by thinking artistahin ka talaga, itodo-todo mo na.
TIP #5: CONSIDER THE AUDITON DONE WHEN IT’S DONE. ‘Wag ka nang mag-novena, mag-wonder kung tatawagan o pagsisihan ang mga pinagagagawa mo. ‘Wag ka nang mag-isip. Libu-libo ang hindi na tatawagan so kung tawagan ka, ‘di bonus na lang ‘yun.
TIP #6: ‘WAG NANG MAG-AUDITION. Ito’ng pinakamadali. Minsan gusto kong lumabas sa pila tapos sabihin ito sa 99% ng mga naandu’n. But then again, kung ginawa ko ‘yun wala na’kong maba-blog na funniest auditions Bwahahaha!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Ignorance
Kung Matrix lang ‘to ang dali lang makalimot. Pero sabi nga “Once you make someone nothing, then he becomes everything.” A recent Reader’s Digest article reports that the more effort we put into forgetting about our worries before we sleep, the bigger the chances that we’ll even dream about them. Yikes!
So paano nga ba man-deadma kahit siya ang lagi mong iniisip at sa mga kakaunting pagkakataon na nagkakasama kayo eh gusto mong i-relish every second? Paano nga ba ma-master ang art of ignoring someone? Is there a science to “Ignorance?”
Una sa lahat, 27 na’ko. Hindi na’ko dapat nagsusumixteen na meron pang pakiput-pakipot d’yan pero no matter how I try to deny it, game talaga ang love, eh. Ayaw mo man dahil gusto mo matured na ang approach and all, meron talagang dynamics, tactics, strategies at rules ang dating and love.
One important rule is to hold your cards close. Well, in the spirit of “I don’t play games” heto ako’t sinusulat ang nararamdaman ko kahit nasa Friendster ko lang siya so malamang nababasa niya ‘to. Alam na naman niya, eh.
That makes his mastery of Ignorance of Rey quite troubling or to put it more accurately, his Ignorance of Me comes naturally to him. Wala siyang kailangan i-master dahil wala namang effort ‘yung ginagawa niya. He just doesn’t have the urge to text me or see me. And that’s why this is already my third love-laced blog entry about him. Ang daming thoughts na kailangan ng outlet lalo pa’t nararamdaman kong by the looks of it, I’ll come crashing down in a week’s time. Ayoko pa lang masyadong i-confront ‘yung totoo kasi the White Rock Triathlon is coming up in a week at hindi ko kailangan ng emotional negativity. I have to be psychologically and emotionally prepared for that race. Besides, meron pa’kong self-imposed alcohol ban dahil nga sa karerang ‘yan. So next week pa talaga ako makakapagyaya ng inuman. Invited kayong lahat na Friendsters ko! (Pati kaya siya? Haha!)
While I could eventually have for him the kind of Ignorance he has for me, the most crucial time to really practice it is when Ignorance has to be efforted. So last Tuesday I erased his number from my phonebook. Of course I have his numbers saved in my laptop but it works because whenever I’d compose a text and realize that I have to look for his number pa, I would immediately stop. For a while it seemed to bear good results. A few minutes after erasing his number, he called. Konting kuwentuhan lang. The next day, siya ulit tumawag.
And then Milenyo came. Last night I called him up. And a few minutes pa lang after we hung up I started texting a barrage of pa-sweet messages. My mwah-mwaahs and I miss u na went un-replied to. I wanted to escape my solitude in the dark, candlelit room and curse the strong winds, the rain, and the brownout for providing the perfect ambiance for loneliness and irrational longings for the one who only sees you as one of them.
Flowers
And with that thought - sa traffic, habang minamasdan ko ang bagyo sa labas ng cab - I got to know myself a bit more.
REY – IS TRULY IN LOVE WHEN HE GIVES FLOWERS TO HIS OBJECT OF AFFECTION
Gusto ko ‘yung “Got 2 Believe,” ang huling pelikula nina Claudine at Rico Yan but I found the part nu’ng sinasabi ng mga spinster sisters ng character ni Claudine (played by Maribeth Bichara and Jackie Castillejo) na malalaman mong in love si Claudine kapag sininok siya too unbelievable and too corny, even for a romantic-comedy. Puwede ba! Falling in love is such an enigma even a person in love has difficulty ascertaining its authenticity. Only people imagined by some mediocre writer could display a tangible sign of being in love! Pero ngayon dapat mang nako-cornihan na’ko sa sarili ko mas natutuwa pa’ko dahil, unlike most people, madali ko nang malalaman kung in love nga ako. (But now that I’m aware of this previously unnoticed part of my character, maaaring hindi na siya reliable sa susunod. Oh, well…)
Funny because I never understood flowers. They’re expensive and useless. I’ve asked girl pals quite a lot of times if they really appreciate it kasi hindi ko talaga ma-gets. Ako hanggang ngayon hindi ko ire-require na bigyan ako ng flowers and while I might appreciate being the recipient of a bouquet I don’t think I will give it as much thought as my giving flowers apparently has a lot more to it.
Dalawang tao pa lang ang binigyan ko ng flowers.
Flower recipient #1 caused my biggest, most horrendous, still-embarrassed-to-talk-about-it heartbreak of my life. Hope I would never feel that much pain ever again.
Hindi naging kami. Basted na sa simula palang but before this self-enlightenment ‘yung naramdaman ko para sa kanya ang naging batayan ko kung mahal ko na nga ba ‘yung mga sumunod kong nakilala with whom I did have a romantic relationship.
Flower recipient #2 had me crying at Jollibee Philcoa, punch the wall while screaming like a madman at Greenbelt after a mauling incident that had my name in some police blotter.
He was my first boyfriend to whom I gave three dozen red roses na nabili ko pa sa Baguio. (I never got the chance to give flowers to my other two boyfriends, nor the two girlfriends before them.)
Two bouquets in eight years. Hindi pala ako madalas ma-in love! I think I’ll go ahead and give him Flowers. It’s scary but could anything worse ever happen